The divinity of the suck factor
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Danielle LaPorte | Sep 18, 2009
Always be suffering. The trick is to not suffer over the suffering. Alan Watts, Zen master
One of my best friends and I have a sick tradition. We get excited about each others’ hardship. One of us will be sniffling through an out-pour of angst about how wrenching a particular life lesson is, and isn’t it crazy how when it rains it pours with shitty news, and turmoil, and big life do-overs. You know, those excruciating disappointments and Tough Spots – the kind that require a friend to help you navigate.
Sniffle. Silence.
And then the listener on the other end of the line replies, “Holy suck factor. But, you know … I’m kinda excited for you.” And then the other one of us blows her nose and says, “Yeah, I know, it’s great.” And we’re not joking. But we laugh at that absurdity and our sheer effing moxy, and then the other person goes back to whining and processing while the listener resumes her role as the receptacle of angst out-pour.
And we believe it. We believe in the divinity of the suck factor. It’s an implicit, and lived, and affirmed understanding: that the universe trades up. That as Camus and kd lang said, “In the depth of winter I found in me there was an invincible summer.” Or as Nietzsche and Bruce Willis put it, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Or at least more expanded. And that’s very exciting. And excitement about getting to the other side is just what you need to get there.
Filed Under: Miscellaneous
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Acute observations there. I too have been made aware of, or smacked by the suck factor. I’ve noticed at least two variations of suckness. Those that appear to happen to you, and those that appear to be self created. The first might be like when someone hits you on the side of the head with a crowbar, whether accidental or on purpose. Although that incident happened to you and seems to be without your approval, further observation would probably lead back to a similar incident in which you were the swinger of a crowbar, not the swingie, toward someone elses head. These types of instances seem to follow each other in like kind, action/reaction, however far removed in time they may be.
The second type of self created suckdom seems to be self created, like when you’re walking along and fall into a deep hole into a pool of excrement due to the fact that the manhole cover was not in place. Although one could blame the remover of the cover, the actuality here is that it was in fact you who fell in the first place. Another example is the proverbial garden rake that when stepped on, flies up smacking the victim square in the forehead. Was it the fault of the last gardner using the tool, or your own ineptitude at walking garden rows?
I believe that it’s neither. I believe the universe is awash in random suck events that were initially set forth in the big bang, and randomly cross paths with all things of the cosmos. Yesterday, I saw a squirrel almost make it across the road carrying a pecan nut. Bad suck factor there for the squirrel. But the nut survived. I’m sure the nut will have it’s suck event soon as well. It happens to all of us at some time or another. Best just to frown and bear it. Live to suck another day, all the time smiling at the absurdity of the event.