Backpedaling to Blissful Life

Are Good Listeners Almost Extinct?

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and to be understood.The best way to understand people is to listen to them. Listening is by far the simplest process a human body undergoes. But most of us have yet to learn the art of listening.
Good listeners are becoming extinct [...]

Success is just like riding a bicycle

Let’s take a look at success. For many people, success or being successful is just as scary as the first time they rode a bicycle. Naturally, many people want to be successful. However, there are few that truly have the motivation to put forward the needed effort and action, and make the necessary sacrifices to get what they want.

Staying Motivated

Sometimes when I try to explain my dream to my family and friends, I get blank stares. My enthusiasm does not find an eager audience. Most of the times, I try and avoid this situation by just keeping quiet about my dreams, but there are times when I can’t contain my excitement. I do understand that everyone operates from their belief system, just as I do. But how come the belief systems are different in the very same family in which we grow up?

Life on a Platter

For most of us, childhood is when life is most enjoyable. Bereft of responsibility, we are taken care of, sheltered, fed, clothed, educated and kept in good health. All we have to do is savour every wonderful moment to the fullest.

Living and Building Relationships Without Blame

As I reach my middle age, I realize and look back with amusement and amazement at the sad designs we drew for ourselves and those we professed to love.

11 scary ways to be a better you

1. Work with people who are smarter or more accomplished than you.
In the last month or so I’ve advised a mega-website/magazine that has the #1 community forum on the world wide web, a super savvy duo who are #1 in their industry and have one of the finest business plans I’ve seen; and a kick-ass [...]

Your Weakness Is Your Strength

As an immigrant to the United States, I am not what one would consider part of the fabric of mainstream culture.  Of Asian descent, I belong to a group that makes up just 4.4 percent of the population.  I have dark hair, big eyes, a Singapore smile and a unique accent influenced by my British [...]

Spread the infection called enthusiasm!

One wonders how to sustain enthusiasm? Since the degree of one’s motivation is directly in proportion to the amount of enthusiasm, one has to keep the fire burning all the time.

That Four Letter F-Word

Well, I am not referring to the one that is being commonly used to express surprise, shock, anger, awe or all of it at the same time. I am talking about the other 4-letter F-word, which is about the emotion that we all experience at some time or the other:

Deep Listening

This is the simplest and fastest change we can make to become a more skilled listener. In conversations with others, we can directly observe who’s doing most of the talking. If it is someone else then that is a good start.

The Weapon Called Ridicule

This style of belittling others is a quaint little habit. You will notice it is a regular habit in some people. Their persona is wrapped around it. It is impossible to make a statement or ask these people anything and it becomes an opening for them to show their wit rather than answer the question in a down-to-earth way or give a plain unadorned answer.

Super Cop gives tips for getting in alignment with your goals!

If we want to get more out of our life, we need to become more conscious of how we spend our time and be more attentive to it. We also need to asses the activities we engage in and see whether they add value to our life or just drain away our energy. It is equally important to be conscious of the kind of people we spend our time with, the conversations we engage in and the social or official programmes we attend.

Appearances Can Be Deceptive!

Analysis. The human mind is very simple. It zeros in on the obvious. The guy whose drawer is in a mess is seen as having a disorganized pattern of thinking too. This is as crude as it can get.

How to purposefully increase your natural creativity!

There are three different kinds of creative responses. Which is yours?

Stay Aloof. Be Depressed.

Most people think, work and live their life generally with the prejudices that they tend to pick up in their short lives. A good professional education gives them the wherewithal to make something of their lives. Most are really capable and in their chosen field do rise to the top but soon get stuck in their own success.

How to Deal with Rejection

Ouch – we all hate it when we’re rejected. Fear of rejection stops salespeople from asking for the sale. It stops us from reaching out to new friends and associates. It stops families from coming together. It even stops us from pursuing our dreams.
Rejection is a given – no matter how fabulous you are, you [...]

Super Manifesting

Research has found a connection between the power of the mind and what happens in our life and the results are speaking for themselves. The process to create what we want in our lives is called “manifesting” – the bringing of ideas and desires into physical form. Manifesting becomes a self empowerment tool when it is applied to realizing our desires. This is done through the law of attraction.

Time Management Methods for Daily Activities

There are several concepts and approaches that aim to improve your time management skills. However, most of them seem to rest on unrealistic concepts that actually achieve nothing. Effective time management entails the maximum use of whatever time that is available each day to enable you to accomplish designated tasks.

3 Steps to the Discovery of Anger

Most people accept anger as a part of life. We all feel justified when we get angry and we can point to all the people and reasons for it. Certainly no one in their right mind could disagree. We all shake our heads as we hear of yet another “idiot driver who almost killed me”, the boss “who set me up to take the fall”, the spouse “who knows just the right buttons to push to send me over the edge”.

Past Life Regression Therapy

As eternal beings, we carry all our thoughts, impressions, emotions, and feelings from time immemorial into our present being. Hence, most of our so-called ills have their roots in some of these thoughts, impressions, feelings, and emotions.

Texting Too Loud to Hear

Don’t make the mistake of assuming your employees are good communicators. Just because you trained them on what to say doesn’t mean they know how to say it. There’s a mighty fine line between efficient and rude. Caring is what people want.

Manage the Boss!

Two  critical skills which the highest performing managers have in spades are the ability to influence and persuade. The most obvious targets for your powers of persuasion are your team, and sometimes your peers in different departments; but just as you need to manage down or sideways , it’s also critical you know how to [...]

A Dangerous Pitfall Called Comfort Zone

There is much talk of progress and success nowadays. Motivational programs are everywhere. In what sense of the word are we talking? For argument’s sake, let’s confine ourselves to the sense of advancement in career and money-making prospects. This then presupposes that everyone would always be striving to improve one’s earning capabilities and keep on [...]

Design the Life You Want!

There’s an old German saying that goes, “You have to take life as it happens, but you should try to make it happen the way you want to take it.” Are you planning to just let life “happen” to you or do you plan to play an active part in designing the life you want?

Tough Times: 6 Tips to Beat It!

It’s when events are overwhelmingly beyond your control, that you either find new ways to cope or are pulled down by the undertow. Your usual defenses are inadequate to protect from overwhelming long-term stress. Stress can build gradually beyond tolerance level, or a surprising turn of events like those recently reported in the news can create the kind of vulnerability that demands openness to change.

Manifest Your Own Miracles: 8 Steps

Some people seem to have it made, generating miracle after miracle with apparent ease, while the rest of us try time and time again, only to be left frustrated, exhausted and confused. But what makes some people abundant, while others are not? It all boils down to the eight success secrets listed.

Victor Or Victim – Your Choice

Right now it’s tough to not feel like a victim. So many events seem to be beyond our control, and so many consequences of the decisions of others appear to have cost so many so much. It’s an easy time to choose to blame others and let events just carry us along- the perfect example of a victim.

Success through Personal Branding!

We all know that business is becoming more and more competitive. There are numerous others who seem to be offering the same stuff that you do. Whether you are a senior executive, the president of your own company, or a worker at a small organization, you need to stand out from myriad others so that you can be in control of your business or career.

What a 5-year-old taught me about gratitude

I frequently see folks going to great lengths in their effort to develop and incorporate an “attitude of gratitude” into their lives, lugging around special gratitude crystals, rocks, or stones, keeping special gratitude journals, and/or resorting to all sorts of other “props and crutches” as I like to refer to them, when *all* that’s *really* required is developing the simple habit of saying “thank you”.

You are never too small to make an impact!

Even if you consider yourself of AVERAGE ability, you can be successful, independent, free of worry, and be your own master, from this point forward, if you can commit to do these four things. Of course, it will take diligent and persistent practice for you to make these permanent and long-lasting positive habits. However, the rewards will be manifold!

Life Tsunamis

During one of my visits to an isolated beach strip off Chennai, I had a chance interaction with a middle aged fisherman mending his nets. We were the only souls on the beach at that time.
Curious, I asked him about the killer tsunami that struck Chennai in December 2004. He vividly described how [...]

Living willfully in 2010

As responsible adults, we are encouraged to create both a Will and a Living Will. Wouldn’t it be great to also create a document that declares how we want to live! It could be called a “Living Willfully Declaration.” This document wouldn’t divide up what we have, or detail how we want to leave with dignity, but instead it would bear witness to the principles and values we want our lives to express. By Living Willfully, I mean living with intention and integrity, purpose and determination, mindfulness and just action. It means consciously choosing how we want to respond to life instead of simply reacting.

Serendipity is not an accident.

Let us first see what stops us from making happy discoveries. We have been conditioned to see what we expect. Our preconceptions creep into whatever we come across. We don’t see things as they are but as we expect them to be.

Secondly, we force our preconceptions into whatever we do and want a task to go along predetermined lines. Too obsessed with how things should be, we don’t recognize lucky turns of events and new possibilities.

How to Handle Control Freaks

Control freaks are always in a hurry and in their hurry end up destroying quite a lot of things around them that they themselves have built up. The trick is to let them rant but keep the control of the final action and pacing in one’s own hands

Let 2010 be the best year of your life!

It’s that time of the year again to reflect on how we have fared in the year which is about to draw to a close and to make New Year resolutions – promises to ourselves that something in our lives will get better, our finances, our relationships, our career.

Happy New Year, 2010?

I have been actively making new-year resolutions for the last 3 years with very little success. It is usually regular stuff like fitness, skills, jobs, money, etc. It usually lasts for a few weeks. The longest was last year when I started jogging regularly and kept at it for a few months.

Remedies For Discouragement

When do you feel like giving up? What discourages you, or tempts you to doubt that sweetness is on the way? Now, write down three remedies for discouragement….lunch with your best friend; a visit to church; dusting off your diplomas, re-reading a love letter, swimming twenty laps; warm soup eaten in silence.

15 elephant tethers that stop you from being creative!

As you grow up and gain experience, you absorb assumptions which then drive your life and limit your choices. You can break away from them with a simple tug if you want to but you don’t. As you acquire more and more experience, your repertoire of blind assumptions grows too, correspondingly limiting your choices. Your experience becomes a hindrance in your being creative.

4 Myths About Fat Loss

There are several common things that people believe when they want to understand how to lose weight and most of them are false. Here are some of the myths.

True Professional!!

(Thanks to Subroto Bagchi, for bringing “The Professional” to the world, and to my loving son Janardhan for getting me lay hands on “The Professional” last evening)
Mahadeva came to cosmopolitan Bangalore, as his dear mother walked out of her native village and her own family in a huff. Mother and the child Mahadeva took to [...]

Every living moment should be one of gratitude

Many a times we have gone through situations in our lives when all seems lost. Shattered, broken and lost, we rise again to pick up the pieces and restart afresh – with someone’s help or a source of strength within.

The divinity of the suck factor

One of my best friends and I have a sick tradition. We get excited about each others’ hardship.

Life Lessons For Young Entrepreneurs

Once perhaps in a decade, you get to read a book that reflects your thinking and experiences so exactly, it make you wonder in awe, leaving you thinking, blinking and bewildered. You wonder why you did not write the book!
One such effort with a very mind boggling title came my way, thanks to my [...]

The Big Real

Do you know the story about the two stone cutters? When asked what he’s doing, the first man replies, “I’m cutting this stone into bricks.” When the second laborer is asked what he’s doing, he replies, “I’m building a temple.”
How much do we do in a day with our nose to the grindstone? Myopic, focused, [...]

This too shall pass….

In the midst of our pursuits in  life, we experience many simple happy moments as well as wonderful life affirming events like births, graduations and marriages. And at  other times, certain events frustrate and challenge us. We seem to have little or no control over them. Despite adopting a ‘positive thinking’ attitude, we are faced [...]

No excuse for bad manners

A friend of mine who was a therapist in a half way house described an incident where this big burly nut-bar barged into a group therapy session hollering and waving his arms around. He was like a beefy Hell’s Angels guy, and he was having one of his meanie episodes that would have scared the [...]

Here Is Your D-I-Y Kit For A Leading Edge Life

Here is a Do It Yourself Kit that each individual would find useful in the marathon race for survival and growth especially in these times of uncertainty.

Feeling Stressed, Anxious or Uncomfortable? Good! It Means You Are Growing

Several years ago I had the  good fortune to be mentored by a stunning individual.  Much of what I was ‘taught’ and the thinking I was exposed to simply went over my head.  Actually that’s not entirely true, it went in my head – the subconscious mind soaks up everything like a sponge, even if [...]

what does learning feel like?

If knowledge is power, than curiosity is the muscle.
Focus is a fabulous force. Tho’ sometimes, it’s good to blur the lines and depart from your expertise, your skill set and what you think you know so well. Many a great discovery has come from accidental encounters and seemingly unrelated interests.
Choose three subjects that you have [...]

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