The art of Shirking
The Art of Shirking
Mostly people are brought up to be up and doing; you do, you get. In this environment where everyone is up and about it requires a specific state of mind to flow against the river. I used to be one of those who would take a request personally. Later I often found all my efforts going down the drain because the other person had changed his mind or requirements. It is then I decided to act on anything only when asked three times.
People will ask you a service if you are available. So the first step towards freedom is to not make your-self available. There are a few ground rules for this.
If you have been tuned to act and be of service then you will have to retune yourself. Learn to keep at the back of your mind this thought: what will others say; what will they think of me; is it legal; is it really necessary? With all these considerations churning in your mind, you will rarely find time or the inclination to make the first move and by then hopefully the need to act will have passed or the situation would have taken care of itself. If you are unable to get the hang of my thinking here, spend time with a government functionary. You will see what I mean and learn a few lovely pointers.
We are surrounded by responsibilities as it is. And people around us want to take on many more. Given the nature of life we can’t always say no directly. The way out of this predicament is to put all one’s energy in planning how to get out of it. Search hard for excuses and reasons or excuses couched in the garb of reasons.
- Raise objections; don’t attempt to be logical.
- If the other guy is sensible he will see through the playacting and leave you alone. If the responsibility is forced down your gullet and things go wrong later, you can always crow about how you had warned about it.
- Convert everything into an argument. Let the other guy explain himself get himself all tied up in knots. Later on you can use the confusion to slip out of any commitment.
- If you are attacked just smile sweetly and look apologetic and create another long argumentative discussion.
- When confronted by reality and there is no way of running away from a face to face meeting with a person you cannot afford to displease, – smile, be accommodating, agree and make promises. Then as soon as good form permits say your good byes on a happy note and scram. As soon as you are out of earshot, forget the whole thing. No point in burdening your memory with non-essentials. The guy will never realize how insincere you are and will hope and wait for some time and perhaps even call you on your mobile to find out how things are shaping up, then as time is a great healer and helps to forget, things will pass into the past and life will go on.
- In these circumstances it is good to have a dependant like an old mother, or dog or child around to take care of. They make wonderful subjects for excuses which cannot be overridden.
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