Notes to my 20 year old self
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Danielle LaPorte | Aug 11, 2009
I’m turning 40 in a few weeks. Bizarre. Surreal. Cannot believe it. Just yesterday I was at ecstatically getting the hell out of high school, wearing shoulder pads and stilettos underneath my graduation gown; knowing full well that the world was my oyster and that extra-hold hair mousse would get me through almost any encounter. I can hardly believe that I can say, “twenty years ago…” about anything.
Dear Danielle at 20:
1. Algebra really is useless.
2. Credit cards are mostly evil.
3. Talk is cheap.
4. If he doesn’t stay until morning, he’s probably married or deeply insecure.
5. There is no soul mate. I know, this is particularly hard news to take because you are longing for The One 24-7. But, guess what, The One is The One because you say he/she is. And that’s way more liberating and empowering than anything preordained or supposedly destined.
6. And while we’re dissing cosmic romanticism – there’s no such thing as destiny. Life really is what you make it.
7. Tragedy happens. Yes, everything happens for a reason, but life can be cruel and wrenching and while it all comes out in the cosmic wash, some souls collide and mistakes do happen.
8. Louise Hay is a magnificent woman, but there is more to the machinations of life, illness, and cosmology than the simple explanations offered by You Can Heal Your Life. Cancer is not necessarily a result of repressed guilt, and you may not necessarily choose to heal your life this time around – that’s okay. Illness doesn’t make you a New Age Loser.
9. Diplomacy is overrated.
10. If your boss tries to french kiss you, it’s out of bounds.
11. Only lend books if you don’t want them back.
12. Go to more concerts.
13. If you don’t kiss girls in your twenties, you’ll probably never get around to trying it out. You should try it out.
14. You’re right – kindness is one of the most powerful natural resources there is…infinitely renewable.
15. Your feelings are exceedingly more useful than your ability to rationalize your fears or other people’s poor behaviour.
16. Your heart….your heart….your heart is where it’s at.
17. When you turn 40, you shall be rocking like never before, grateful for absolutely everything, and you will finally, finally feel like earth is home….for the most part.
Filed Under: Miscellaneous
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1. Algebra is actually very useful; it helps you sort out ‘unknowns’ – unless, of course, you happen to be dealing with real things, like people
2. Credit cards are mainly evil – unless, of course, you happen to see the ‘thing that you just have to have’ and when you wake up in the morning, you are still happy that ‘it’ is still there
3. Talk can be very, very expensive – especially when it comes from someone else
4. If she doesn’t stay until the morning, then she probably didn’t like me enough to stay for the rest of my life
5. There ain’t no soul mate. Well, I thought there was a few times, but when they tried to steal my soul, well …..
6. Yep, destiny isn’t where it’s at. Free will and choice is what’s it all about
7. As we blunder through the course called life, we bounce off a lot of walls and collisions are inevitable. And if it happens that a collision results in something wonderful, then we should be very, very thankful
8. Poop happens. It isn’t the destination, it’s the trip
9. Diplomacy is a wonderful way to get me what I want to get if the giver wants to give me what they’ve got
10. Bosses do what they have to do; so do I
11. Never lend books; give them away. You get more back that way – sometimes they’re better
12. Concerts rock; sometime rock concerts don’t
13. Kissing girls is ALWAYS a good thing to do, no matter how old your are
14. Random acts of kindness have a wonderful way of giving soft landings to ‘bouncing off walls’
15. Intuition trumps primordial feelings every time
16. Surrender to ‘heart attacks’ every time
17. When you turn 40 …. ahh ! When you turn 50 …. ahhh !! When you turn 60 …ahhhh !!! When you turn 70 … I dunno; ain’t got there yet
18. I’d love to have known you in your 20′s; I’d kill to know you in your 40′s
Very well written…live the next twenty yrs the way you want to…
Very well done. I too am turning 40 in a few weeks and its amazing what 20 years of perspective and living has done to the indestructible and never-tired person of yesteryear. Thanks for the smile and Happy Birthday!
If I’d known then what I know now… I’d have missed an amazing journey. And it is all about the journey. To a Happy Birthday! Cheers!
I really don’t get this “It’s the journey” concept. I’ve been on some absolutely lousy trips – made worthwhile only by the destination.
I absolutely never comment on these things but this really really struck a cord
Thank you
I think you are brilliant