My Better 1/2
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Pallavi Rao | Apr 22, 2009
I am off for a well deserved vacation. During the last 6 months I have been a gracious host to lots of relatives and friends so it was about time I perched my ample butt somewhere comfortable and sipped something cool while I did NOTHING. So this morning over a cup of chai, I scanned the paper and apart from headlines screaming “HALLAL STREET,” I happened to come across this news article: “Naomi plans a million-dollar birthday bash in Dubai.”
Now I am a self-proclaimed material woman. I can slip into the role of a maid as casually as I can into the role of an urban woman. Therefore when I read that Naomi Campbell is all set to celebrate her 36th birthday (awww…. she doesn’t look 36) by throwing a 3-day, million dollar bash in Dubai, I felt my interest perking up. But as I read more I was disgusted to learn that she plans to hire all 18 floors of the seven star BURJ AL ARAB hotel. Do people actually have that kind of money?
Ok, I can understand an entire floor, but 18 floors for a birthday bash in a hotel where a simple lunch costs about 30 grand – what a waste of money and to think it’s being hosted by her multi-millionaire Dubai boyfriend.
As I was carrying on about that colossal waste of money for a birthday bash, my husband who was on his way out tapped me on my shoulder, ruffled my hair and said, “Darling that’s exactly what you did for your birthday last year. We took a bunch of friends out for dinner at a five star hotel and spent a disgusting amount.”
He smiled, “The difference is you did it according to your pocket and she is doing according to hers. Our driver who dropped us at that hotel must have thought it a terrible waste of money for a birthday bash.”
My better half then walked out in his usual serene manner. I just sat there a little wiser, thinking…. hmmmmmm.
Now you know why he is my better half.
Another day – another incident.
We were at a traffic signal when a vendor knocked on our window selling cleaning cloths for cars. I had just gotten around to bargaining for a lower price when my husband took out 20 rupees and bought the two cleaning cloths for the asking price. I was really mad at him because they were clearly overpriced. As we passed the traffic signal, he apologized to me and offered to take me for coffee.
As he sipped his coffee he patiently explained, “How much you would have saved by bargaining with him – 5 rupees? Now let’s look at bigger picture. I know he was overcharging us but did you notice that at that traffic signal he was the only one selling and not begging? He could have easily knocked on our window and begged for alms but he didn’t.”
My better half continued to explain, “He is self employed and by paying him that extra 5 rupees, I tried to encourage him to keep on working and not resort to begging.”
I retorted, “But if I keep on encouraging people by paying them what they ask for, it will have financial implications on us right?”
He agreed with me but added, “But then let’s use our bargaining power and save money where we should. It is evening and as he said he had not even one item since morning so by bargaining for five dollars you were taking away his profit for the entire day.”
With his characteristic patient voice he continued, “It’s just 5 Rupees. You will throw that coin in some corner of your purse and forget about it, but think about the implications it will have for him.”
It set me thinking again. Hmmmm…. I was about to bargain away his profit for the entire day, which may or may not be true, but it sure made me think a little deeper about my over-zealous foray into frugality.
He ended the conversation by telling me, “I am not asking you to change your attitude, just to amend it bit. Don’t bargain for 10 or 20 or 50 bucks. People who earn that much profit operate at a small level and they need encouragement. How about you use your verbal skills for saving us hundreds or thousands of rupees ?”
Now here I am a wiser woman for having had that experience with him.
So again you know why he is my better 1/2.
Filed Under: Miscellaneous
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nice presentation.. i like experiment with the word “WEquation”..
I enjoyed reading your article but, sorry, I did not get ‘WEquation’. Can you throw soem light on it?
Thanks
Thanks, but right now my better half (wife) is soon to be my worst half as we are getting divorce due to her sleeping around.
Hi Rachna,
Here is the explanation of the word ‘WEquation’..actually the term was coined by our editor Carol…so here is the explanation in her words.
“I view a relationship between a husband and wife as an equation ( as in Mathematics ) – the bringing together of constants and variables to create a whole or sum total after the process of multiplying, subtracting, adding etc. So I simply added WE (we) as in husband & wife to the word equation to get WEquation! This is why I also used the fraction “1/2″ instead of the actual word ‘half’ to extend the math idea further”
My original writing was too long so it was edited towards the end and because of that Doller was written instead of Rs…but hey we all are global citizens
right?
Hi Jeffrey,
This must be so difficult for you. Separation and divorce are one of life’s most painful transitions. I am so sorry that you are going through this heartbreak.
There are no words that will bring you comfort right now but allow yourself to grieve over the loss of faith and your marriage. Somewhere within your hurt and anger, you’ll find the seeds of understanding and forgiveness beginning to grow. For some inexplicable reason we as humans seem to draw these painful experiences into our reality because we need to learn something at a deeper level. Be strong and know that you’ll grow from this ordeal. You have friends here.
excellent write up pal….
You reminded me of one instance,will like to share.
One day we were out on our way to market and I was putting the lock on the door and my better 1/2 was trying for a rickshaw. (the real rickshaw, cycle one).
As I approached the waiting rickshaw, I heard my better 1/2 saying “this is not fair Rs.8 for this distance, its not good” . The old Rickshaw puller said ” Babuji, whatever you feel like give to me”
My Better 1/2 replied, “Rs8 is not fair,you should atleast charge Rs15 for this much distance”
The conversation not only brought smile on my face but a lot of respect for my hubby as a person too.
Splendid Write Up! Nice formatting! Great Work
Wonderful write up and a great lesson to learn!!
excellent article!!!
many times i think my hubby does not have commonsense, etc., but yeah it was proven wrong all the times……!!!
Inspiring Article, loved reading it. But, Actually it is Mr. Rao your better half to be praised. As he taught you and everybody of us a lesson and
two.
I would like to add my experience once I needed an auto and fixed the fare at 20 rupees, but when we reached the destination he realised his folly for quoting so less and started to demand more. My friend insisted to pay as per the decided terms which was just and legal. But, I paid him more and explainded my friend, where we intend to go you won’t retort even if your bill is raised by 50 rupees, so why to rob him of so less an amount.
Liked the article pallavi…keep writing. Cheers
Thanks a lot everyone for your kind words…i really appreciate your feedback.