Love is an action verb!
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Guest Tickler | Nov 20, 2008
I love you!¬† These three words mean so much…some of the time.¬† At other times, they can merely be hollow words with nothing evident in sight to back them up.
What they often mean is “I love you as long as I get that warm fuzzy feeling inside when I’m around you or when I think of you. Just don’t ask me to demonstrate my love by asking too much of me.”
When we equate love with internal feelings of bliss, it becomes dependent on our “loved” ones pleasing us on a consistent basis and asking very little in return. It’s easy to feel “love” when it does not make many demands on us or our time.
Too often, we work harder to please relative strangers than those we say we “love.”¬† When we feel secure in our relationships, we tend to take them for granted and forget the importance of demonstrating our love on a day-to-day basis.
Love, in the truest sense of the word, is an action verb. We can say “I love you” and truly feel like we mean it, but the proof of our love is in our actions.
To see how our love stacks up in terms of action, we can ask ourselves these questions:
1.  How do I demonstrate my love through action?
2.  How do my loved ones experience my love?
3.¬† If I didn’t say the words, could they tell by my actions that I love them?
4.¬† Do I demonstrate my love even when I don’t feel “loving?”
5.¬† Do my loved ones have to please me to “feel” wrapped in my love?
6.¬† What actions from others do I experience as¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† “loving?”
7.¬† Do I only show love when I am “feeling” loved?
8.  Who in my life demonstrates their love for me through their actions?
9.  Are there people in my life who say they love me without providing any evidence of this love other than mere words?
10.  What can I do differently to demonstrate my love?
11.¬† Do I show love for myself in my actions – even when I don’t “feel” deserving of this love?
When we reflect on these questions, we can heighten our awareness of our own ability to put love into action- with others and with ourselves.  We can DECIDE to love when we see it as an active force rather than merely a feeling.  True love exists when our actions match our words!
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Holly Cox is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, a Certified Dream Coach¬Æ, and a Certified Dream Coach Group Leader¬Æ.¬† She is committed to helping women design and maintain “dream-come-true” lives. Sign up for Holly’s “Transform Your Life” newsletter at http://www.mypersonaltransformation.com and get great tips to jumpstart your transformation.
Filed Under: Miscellaneous
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Dear Holly,
I really like the “Love Eleven” list !
I read somewhere that there are six kinds of love – Eros, Ludis, Pragma, Mania, Storge and Agape where Agape is the “true” selfless love and that for love to work. it’s 3 dimensions need to be manifest – Passion ( the burning desire to be in the relationship), Promise ( the commitment to the relationship ) and Intimacy ( the celebration (way we value) of the other in the relationship )
Guess ” Love Eleven” covers all that !
I have some questions. Happy to hear them answered…
Why do we fall in love with someone who is not meant for us, because they are already committed elsewhere?
Why does fate make us meet people who we fall in love with but may remain unrequited?
How does one mask one’s love for someone who we should not love?