What have you got to lose?

“No, it can’t be done,” said people to a man named Thomas, as he kept on failing at his experiment. Had he given up, today we would be still living in the dark. He failed for a thousand times until finally he made a bulb that could glow. And what did our hero Thomas Alva Edison have to say? He said he had learned 1000 ways that did not work until he found the right technique.

Often we do not try for fear of losing, but even if we lose, aren’t we winning? Winning experience, winning friends, and winning sympathy.

“Oh you were good !” “Hard luck, but there is always a next time.” “The judges were partial, I liked what you said.”

These are the words I have so often heard, naturally, after losing contests. And what has it got me… plenty of friends.

I was a teenager, when I first stepped in for a state-level speaking contest, with shaking feet and sweaty palms, and I asked my mentor and sounding board, “Do you think I should participate, uncle?”

His answer was simple, “What have you got to lose?” and that was that. Sure enough I lost the contest, well actually came a second, but lost the first place all the same. But I had won!

Overnight, I was the queen of the college with my picture in the papers, acknowledgements and smiles from passers-by, and a lot of applause wherever I went. I had gained popularity and I had gained friends. But the best part of all, I had gained experience. After that there was no looking back. Needless to say, I had gained confidence. The winning streak continues still.

People usually ask me, “What if we do not win?”

My answer is simple. You guessed it, “What have you got to lose?”

If you think you are losing your face or reputation by losing a contest, admit the fact that you were not good enough in the first place. The problem is that we are looking at our loss so subjectively  that we do not look at anything else. Not even at what we have gained due to the loss. We keep staring at the closed door instead of looking at the new windows that are opening for us.

“How do you do it?” people often ask me. Well it’s as simple as 1, 2, 3.

1.    Think laterally.
2.    Think without boundaries and limitations.
3.    Think of what you are going to gain.

We have to find what works for us, and what we can improve about ourselves. The secret behind converting a loss into a win is what we gain out of the experience.

A famous doha reads:

“Jin dhoondha tin pahiya, gehre paani paithi
Main bhapura duban dara, raha kinare baithi.”

Which means, “Those who strive, conquer by jumping into the waters, and I, scared of drowning, sit at the shore empty-handed.”

Every day is a new beginning. Go on, give yourself another chance. In life there are no guarantees. Do we stop picking roses because a thorn could prick us? Do we stop walking because we might fall? Do we stop swimming, because we might drown? Do we stop driving, for fear of having an accident? Do we stop trying just for fear of failing?

Then why do we stop believing in ourselves? Why do we stop taking more chances? Why do we stop participating in contests or experimenting in life?

Find the technique that works for you. What have you got to lose?

–

Dr.Arora is a freelance corporate trainer, Reiki master, feng shui consultant and aromatherapist. A periodontist by education, a Toastmaster by passion, she has been actively associated with radio, theatre and fine arts. Visit her websites www.mentalsparks.com and www.camelliastory.com.