Unhappily Ever After
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Carol Ann | Apr 24, 2009
With the memory of another Valentine’s Day months behind us, this is a good time to consider the possible effects that romance novels may be having on our perceptions of reality as women.
A romance novel is a literary genre rooted in the western culture of English-speaking countries. These novels place their primary focus on the romantic attraction and resulting relationship between two people, which must have an “emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.”
The basic theme is about man meeting woman. They fall in love and inevitably discord enters the picture to drive them apart. After a series of misunderstandings, love conquers all and they are reunited, with the implication of living happily ever after.
Bestselling author Nora Roberts sums up the genre, saying: “The books are about the celebration of falling in love and emotion and commitment and all of those things we really want.”
It might surprise many, but the romantic genre is big business. Over 50 million women in the United States alone read romance fiction. In North America, romance novels are the most popular genre in modern literature, comprising almost 55% of all paperback books sold in 2004. This is more than literary fiction and mystery thrillers. The genre is also popular in Europe and Australia and romance novels appear in 90 languages.
The modern romance genre first appeared in 1972 with publication of Kathleen Woodiwiss’s The Flame and the Flower, the first single-title romance novel to be published as an original paperback. The genre boomed in the two decades which followed with the “bodice rippers” novels featuring bare-chested, swashbuckling heroes and voluptuous heroines driven by the madness of uncontrollable passion.
Mercifully contemporary romance novels with more realistic plots have replaced the dramatic excesses of the “bodice rippers” most of which reflected an idealized but quaint Anglo Saxon perspective of courtship and love. In the past ten years African American, Hispanic and Asian romantic fiction books have also begun making significant inroads in the worldwide romance market as well.
From all indications, the romance novel is alive and doing well today among women of all backgrounds.
But why do female romance addicts fantasize about Mr Strong, Suave and Sexy – the idealized hero, who will adore her for life, even with her angst, weight gain and insecurities? The answer may be found somewhere in the drabness of her everyday existence and an innate need for love and appreciation seeded in every human heart.
Another factor is the blurring or recasting of traditional male and female roles over time. Many men, have been emasculated by racism, class prejudice, poverty and the lack of strong male role models in their own lives. As a result, they are unable to fulfill the book- manufactured expectations of women who desire a monogamous relationship with an impossible human ideal - a psychologically balanced individual, who is a good provider, a sensitive soul and a fantastic lover all rolled into one muscle-bound hunk.
One wonders, if over exposure to these saccharine romances can cause some women to have unrealistically high expectations in their romantic relationships?
Are some of us perpetual heroines, conditioned by the “bodice ripper” era, who cannot identify the different phases of love because of our dysfunctional beliefs?
Do we yearn only for the heady, hormone-driven euphoria of the first phase, when the attraction is new and exciting? Are we grounded enough to understand that this cycle must inevitably end and love will change its expression during other phases of growth?
But, if some of us are unrealistic in our romantic ideals, then what role do romantic novels play in moulding our expectations? The themes of romance novels are influencing the thoughts and perceptions of millions of readers around the world making them a powerful medium.
If romance novels are portraying life, lovers and love in an unrealistic way, then maybe we should take a second look at ourselves and how we impose our romance novel conditioned reality on our significant others. We may be straining our relationships in vain and placing unnecessarily heavy emotional burdens on those we claim to love.
A little personal soul searching will give each woman the answers she needs.
Filed Under: Miscellaneous
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Being a writer of romance novels, I don’t think the novels place unrealistic expectations on a relationship. I think they can stimulate and intensify a relationship as long as the reader isn’t unrealistic. And being a writer of romances, I’d like to take a moment and promote my new book, “Beth:Love Along The Way…by B.G.Sanford,” and just released by Eloquent Books. It’s a beautiful romance, however tragic. A love affair presents itself to Beth during some of the darkest times in her life. She struggles with what to do, yet knowing fully what would be morally right. Due to the very substance of this book, it certainly can’t be considered “lightweight” by any stretch of the imagination. I hope you have the opportunity to read it as it’s a story you won’t soon forget.
B.G.Sanford
http://www.eloquentbooks.com/BethLoveAlongTheWay.html
Dear Ms Sanford,
Congratulations on your new book “Beth: Along The Way.” Allow me to wish you every success and I have a feeling that this book sincerely chronicles one woman’s struggles along the stony road of life. We need these stories to remain connected to the circle of love and sisterhood of women.
As you have pointed out, the important thing is to remain grounded and not blur the lines between reality and fiction.
Thank you very much for sharing your perspectives with us. It is always an uplifting experience to listen and learn from others. I am rooting for you as a sister and looking forward to seeing your books on the best sellers list alongside those of Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele. I have a good feeling that you can make it happen!
An intelligent and articulate piece of writing which obviously attempts to introduce a realistic perspective into the subject of romance, presumably in the hope that the idealistic reader does not get too carried away with what is likely to be an ever growing library of novels! The romance genre has been big business in the west for as long as I can remember and thats a good half century. Romance novels tend to reflect the emotional aspirations of their female readership and this popularity is most likely due to the lack of emotional satisfaction in the average relationship.
Alan,
Thanks for your insights. Romance novels have been around for centuries but the modern romance genre as we know it really took root with “The Flame and The Flower.” It is great to have a western male perspective though.
And I am a romance reader ever since I knew Boys and girls are a different species!
I am from India and I read every type of romance novel – from the modern American romance to the medival ones. I must say, before my marriage I used to have my ideal guy based on a multitude of caracters i came across in these novels.
As I grew up and my interaction with men grew and I came to understand them better (!) I had a different spin of these books – they helped understand some of the cronicles of human natue (especially the modern romances, where you have settings based on real life situations that you may possibly encounter).
I learnt that there is something called unconditional love and if you love your partner enough, you will stick around to see the end of an argument, and not look at who had the last word.
I am now happily married for the last 13 years with two beautiful boys. My husband often comments on “what is that book that you read”. When I come across a particulary silly argument in the novel between the key players, I explain the situation to him and tell him men all over the world are similar: He knows what I mean and we usually kiss and end our fight.
I only wish my attempt to write a romance novel all by myself sees the light of day.
Hi Priya,
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. You have raised an important point about outgrowing the fantasy male composite character we can create in my minds when we read romances.It is wonderful that you have been able to go past the idealised images that sometimes rooted in our minds from reading too many romances.
I think once we are emotionally grounded in reality, reading a few romances can do no harm and provide us with some entertainment and much-needed escape from the world. All the best to you and your family and hopefully the world will see that romance novel from you one day.
I look at romance novels as aspiration more than unrealistic. I am the author of Trimming the Blue Hairs, a chic lit novel that weaves romance, entrepreneurship and generation gaps. Let’s face it, we want it all and novels should provide inspiration for achievements and balance: love, laughter and ungrateful friends!
Hello Cristin,
Your perspective is quite interesting. Maybe romance novels spans both bridges -they are aspirations that are usually unrealistic? That’s quite an interesting and creative title for your novel -”Trimming The Blue Hairs”. Certainly makes me want to explore your plots further. Good luck with your writing I wish you tons of success.