Happiness to me is

1.    When I am meditating and manage to arrive at a complete (and very mysterious) trance. On rare occasions under the spell of this trance, the sounds of what is happening right around me begin to appear to be coming from a distance. I feel almost ecstatic then.

2.    When I am sharing with my son, daughter, or my wife how much they mean to me or sharing my time with them. I clearly can feel the words of Jesus then, “All the gifts of God will someday come to an end, but love goes on for ever.”

3.    When I have an ‘aha!!!’ experience—an insight about my own behaviour or about some well guarded subtle secret of life—even if it reveals a negative side of mine.

4.    When I am expressing any of my natural gifts, painting, lecturing, acting, singing, writing. I am especially happy, when I am lecturing or conducting a workshop while sharing real-life examples through mimicry and when I am made to feel by my audience that I could entertain them or could make a difference in their lives.

5.¬†¬†¬† When I am writing–putting my thoughts and connecting them in an organized way to understand my own understanding, or doing anything creative.

6.    When I find a lot of energy within and able to pass my day as per my plan, to a great extent.

7.    When I see order, beauty, and cleanliness anywhere (I am poor myself in this regard by my own standards). I also feel happy when I see any kind of improvement at a place, or within a person.

8.¬†¬†¬† Watching the movement of everything that is natural: the squirrels, the clouds, the flowers, the river, the ocean, the stars, the moon, a beautiful painting, a smile, a beautiful face, the sparrows, etc. I am especially fond of squirrels. Also when I spot a group of birds flying, I feel so happy–as if it is about my freedom, and with tears in my eyes, I wish the same for all the birds and animals in human captivity.

9.¬†¬†¬† When I am listening to the views of and talking to a grand wise old man who has almost just arrived in this world–his physical body being just five years old or even lesser.

10.    When I am able to help out someone who is really needy.

11.    When I am able to establish a connection with others by making them understand and appreciate what I am saying, or vice versa.

Anil Bhatnagar is a corporate trainer and author.

The green light flashes as I ponder about him and his relationship. How often have we been taught this myth? This myth that we can make others happy and we ought to keep our loved ones happy?

As kids we needed to keep our parents and siblings happy. Then the focus shifted to our teachers, friends, dates, spouse, in-laws, children and their in-laws not to mention our customers, suppliers and bosses.

Phew! Who else?

The question that strikes me is: do we really make these people happy and is it really possible to do so?

Of course, we do our bit by first giving little gifts, then stuff which we think would please someone, then material goods, and more and more on these lines.

But does stuff make anyone happy? Did stuff make Lady Diana happy?

Let us look at happiness closely. We often imagine it to be a state of being that we need to achieve some day – it’s a kind of destination which we will arrive one day.

Bad luck! Such a thing does not exist – I meant the destination.

Happiness does exist. Truly our very being is happy. When I say “I am happy!” it’s a mood, a feeling which I can savor or experience for a span of time, then when I move I am something else.

However the major difference would crop up if I did not give the keys to my happiness to anyone else to make me happy. Instead if I were the source of my happiness then I would say “I am happiness.”

I would glide, witness this and other emotions with dispassion and the stillness would anchor me.

My fuel for this inextinguishable happiness would emerge when I believe that this universe is a safe place to be in. The love I share can multiply and come home to roost.
My happiness gets multiplied as I share and it doubles when others share theirs as well.

As I learn to ‘let go’ pain, grudges, darts and hurt, loss and grief, I am restored to my original self. I slowly learn to accept them not as wounds and scars but as life’s signatures which I need to learn and having learnt them move on.

Remember that the Sun shines regardless of whether I keep my windows open or closed.

Shyleswari is a Chennai-based corporate trainer.

Seemingly prosperous, India’s silicon city Bangalore has the highest number of suicides and cases of depression in India. Engineers working as coders are nothing but white-collar coolies busy as hell.

Double income coolie families have all the luxuries but rangolis are missing in front of their houses. They have airconditioned bedrooms with all the modern gadgets but they are full of stress and have restless sleep. While they all have laptops, they don’t have children playing in their laps. Their children are being taken care of in the city’s crèches.

Just look at homeless people sleeping in the open and observe how peaceful they are. Take a walk in any slum around six in the morning. The surroundings may be unhygienic but every house has a rangoli. Their livelihood may be uncertain but their contentment is far greater than that of our engineer coolies.

While we have created Xerox copies of engineers, we have lost the artist, the master carpenter, the sculptor and the painter. Child labour is generally frowned upon but child labour in the form of preparing for various tests for admission to educational institutes is encouraged. The number of students appearing in admission tests like GMAT keeps multiplying.

Individuality, aggression and competition have become virtues while co-creation and co-existence are becoming taboos. And our moral fabric is being audited through the western lens. Our happiness index is measured by the frames which have no relevance to us and we miss the whole point of being happy. True happiness is not in multiplexes and pubs but in grandma’s stories.

Can we reintroduce humility, sharing and caring in our people? Can we bring originality back in our lives? Can yoga be revived? Can we reinvent our happiness DNA and get back in touch with our innate talents and create economic self-sufficiency?

That will mean happiness to me.

S. Deenadayalan is an HR professional doing pioneering work in the field of high-performance work systems.

Let me ask that question again: How are things?

Fabulous. It all feels like an adventure right now. I have synchronicities piling up everywhere. I’ve got all the money I need, in fact, it’s flowing good n’ steady. My skin is glowing. Most nights we dance in the kitchen. Even sex is better than ever. I giggle everyday. And really, sometimes when I smile at a stranger in the market I can feel my heart swell. In fact, I swear I felt bliss while I was walking home the other day. Yeah. It was bliss.

Happy? Then say so.

I notice this in my self, I see it in other people: the happiness muffle. We feel the sparkle, really we do. We feel rich with gratitude, we’re keenly aware of a true smile curled in our cells. We tend to live on the light side of things. But we don’t pronounce it. As a new friend just put it, “we butt back the joy because… happiness is a form of power.”

Is that anyway to treat happiness?

Happiness is power. Happiness is carbonated consciousness. It wants to spill out and radiate and be articulated. And every time we downplay our joy we confuse our synapses. Our brain is firing smiley neurons and our mouth is short circuiting them. Repeated happiness muffling numbs our senses. If you keep it under the surface too long, it just might stay there – a light under a bushel.

So do us all a favour. No matter what the weather, the odds, the circumstances, the company, if you’re happy and you know it, by all means, say so! Unfetter your happiness (you know you want to).

Every action of an individual or anything that a human being does has one deeper need or aim behind it – the need to feel happy. We all seem to be driven somewhere in life by the inner urge to pursue happiness. 

It was rightly said by Epicurus: “Happiness is man’s greatest aim in life.”

When we look at various religious scriptures we get some very interesting interpretation of happiness. 

In Bhagvat Gita the Lord Krishna preaches Arjuna to perform duty without any fear or desire of result. True happiness lies in being completely free from all desires.  

Alfatabi philosophy which closely resemble muslim philosophy of happiness states: “Nations and citizens of cities attain earthly happiness in the first life and supreme happiness in the life beyond when four human things are met: theoretical virtues, deliberative virtues, moral virtues and practical arts.”

 Buddhism believes: “Sacrifice of all sensual and materialistic pleasures and developing a sense of consideration and compassion for all beings leads to ultimate happiness.”

A study of national cultures throws interesting viewpoints: The Chinese seek happiness in long life, riches, love of virtue, health and natural death in old age. The French find happiness in principles of equality, liberty and fraternity. For the British, happiness lies in health, wealth and wisdom and Americans in the pursuit of life, liberty, materialistic achievement.

My personal viewpoint or understanding says happy people share happy habits.  It’s as simple as that.  If you’re looking to expand your general happiness, I would like to highlight three simple habits which you can implement in your own life.

1.     Positive Reflection: It is important to mindfully reflect on the good while striving diligently to correct the bad. More often than not, we tend to focus a lot on the negative outcomes of life and completely ignore the positive successes. Simply put, to be happy, it’s imperative for you to have a positive outlook in life.

2.     Do what you believe: Get involved in work which you believe in. Happy people are the ones who are passionate about work and life. They love what they do and do what they believe. Add passion into life and be happy.

3.     Be with your loved ones: Value your personal relationships and you will value life. A happy life is a life shared with loved ones.  The stronger the personal relationships are and the higher the frequency of interaction, the happier a person will be.

Let’s always remember these words of Abraham Lincoln: “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

–

 Kaushik is a Business Training and Development professional working with a well known MNC bank in India. His interests are reading, travelling, trekking, spirituality, photography, cultural and social activism. He has travelled extensively and seen all states of India and most of the Himalayas.

Is it madness, you thought, or is there really such a word as contentment?

Maybe it’s the latter. Happiness comes from being contented for having the simplest possessions, the simplest things in life, feeling the simplest emotion, having the simplest people loving you.

The secret to feeling contented? Count your blessings regularly. From the moment you open your sleepy eyes in the morning until the evening, when you’re about to close your sleepy eyes to sleep.

Not all people who slept the night before where able to open their eyes the next morning, able and healthy and energized to start another day of productivity. You are lucky and blessed to be still alive this morning. There were no given statistics as to how many people died while sleeping — but it happens. I guess waking up in the morning is blessing no. 1.

There are times when I wake up with an aching head or a stiffed neck (from my wrongly positioned pillow) and sometimes I get irritated the whole day. Waking up feeling fine and healthy, for me, is blessing no. 2.

When you go meet your family for breakfast in the kitchen, smile. Be happy. Feel lucky. Feel blessed. Having your whole family — all members alive and well — to share your breakfast (again) and eat together is definitely your blessing no. 3.

Having something to eat for breakfast (some families do skip breakfast especially during this food crisis plus global meltdown phenomenon) is blessing no. 4.

Then you’ll be going to school/work. Here comes your blessing no. 5. With the financial crunch literally crunching most of the people, companies being closed down and unemployment rates rising to their highest peak, don’t you think you were being favored by the heavens to still afford to go to school or have work to earn a living?

Going there, driving your car or commuting (riding a cab), I think it’s needless to say that you’re enjoying your blessing no. 6.

And so your counting goes. Having friends — who love, trust, take care of you — at school or at workplace, is your blessings no. 7. Learning everyday, or at least having the ability to learn, is your blessing no. 8. Being appreciated by someone, or every one, is blessing no. 9. Eating something for lunch is blessing no. 10. Being safe the whole day is blessing no. 11. Having your family (again) to eat dinner with you is blessing no. 12. Eating sumptuous, hot meal to fill your stomach is blessing no 13. Having more time to talk, hug or kiss every member of your family is blessing no. 14.

Saying your prayers, realizing how blessed you are this day and thanking your creator for all these — just having the opportunity to do this — is your blessing no. 15. And finally, sleeping with your healthy body, without worries and problems for the next day, is your final lucky break for the day.

So isn’t it wonderful to realize how favored you are every day? And isn’t it fun to count your blessings and feel happy and contented as your day ends?

Then there is tickling at the psychological level.

You feel tickled when you are moved by a picturesque sight. You have this wondrous sensation when you hit upon a creative idea or achieve something big. It also happens when you are overwhelmed by a piece of music or a beautiful passage in a book. It can be triggered by anything nice happening or a kind gesture on somebody’s part. Falling in love feels like being tickled.

Incidentally, tickling at the psychological level also gives rise to physical signs like goose bumps and flushing of the skin.

It would seem that the feeling of being tickled occurs when something nice or unexpected happens to you. But that is only one part of the story. Actually, this special feeling is not so much dependent on what happens to you but on your ability to recognize what happens when it does.

If good things happen to you and you are not able to notice them, it is as if they have not happened at all. It is really a question of being sensitive enough to register them.
A ‘tickled mindset’ is what brings about a ‘tickled experience’!

Sometime back there was a discussion in the “Tickled by Life” group on Facebook on “What tickles you?” We reproduce below the various replies submitted by group members.

What tickles you?

For me, it’s helping others.

Jé Maverick

I’m tickled by the idea that each day presents me with the option of creating something that didn’t exist yesterday, and that these things will take on a life of their own… positively and negatively. Every day is an opportunity to move the universe towards a better destination.

Trey Baird

A tickle: a pleasurable stimulus to sensitive nerve endings, provoking laughter.

When life tickles, the nerve endings are in the mind and soul. Pleasurable stimuli abound. You want to be tickled by life? Stand still outdoors, observing, and slowly turn in a circle, observing. Observe as much as you can. Take an hour at it if you want, or just a minute.

Study the clouds, how their shapes change moment to moment; watch a flock of birds, and how they interact, the fluid forms they create as a group; see how many shades of green you can find; spot an odd-shaped stone, and imagine touching it; notice something you have never noticed before; study a reflection. Observe, and by observing, receive the stimuli of life.

What tickles me the most? The grandeur of life.

Don Dewsnap

I love how you just described it. I get tickled when I look at the clouds, birds, and nature itself. I am especially tickled when I see babies of any kind experiencing something for the first time. Thank you for your description.

Lisa Morgan (In response to Don’s post above)

You are so right about the grandeur of life… and also those things which are so obvious and around us but we miss noticing them. It tickles to realize that they are always there but get noticed only when they affect our lives and touch our raw nerves.

Gitanjali Kamal (In response to Don’s post above)

I am tickled to be a part of “Tickled by Life”. What tickles me is when my husband and I are able to transform people from the medical sickness industry into the wellness industry and begin to age younger.

Stephanie Tippie

Watching my boys grow and learn. I laugh with joy from them daily. What puzzles me is how some people immediately assume when you are laughing it is at another’s expense and not the joy you are feeling.

Cyn Rielley

What tickles me is when I am helping or encouraging other people and the joy it brings to them. If for no other reason but to just help someone out, I don’t help to get something in return. No one can understand it. Maybe the people in this group, but my family thinks people use me. I don’t.

Lisa Morgan

I get tickled when I go back home from work and see my son. I get tickled when I am challenged, stretched to limits @ work /tennis.

Sharad Chowdhaary

I am tickled when I get a compliment. Okay, I admit it, I like doing things well and being appreciated and admired. That’s not why I try to do things well, but it is a real nice perk.

I also get tickled when anyone tells me that something I have said or written has been helpful or useful to them. That’s a big-time tickle, even better than being complimented. Knowing I have made another life better – what could be more tickly?

Don Dewsnap

I am thankful for life every day. Every morning we wake up, that’s another slew of blessings…its starts over everyday! God is good.

Chris Royal

What tickle me most nowadays is upbringing Kids and students to make their own “Future Map”.

Hayadin Bin Hayadin

I’m just jumping for joy today, I had a wonderful sleep, and woke up just enjoying life. Got a wonderful tickling mail earlier. I’m just enjoying this wonderful day, listening to my favourite Christmas music on Youtube. And looking forward to a Christmas party later today. Happy and embracing life. That’s me :O).
Tickles to you all.

Karin Ludvigsen

I’m tickled by other people who become so inwardly focused they miss the things going on around them. I am that person at times, and when I notice it in others, I’m immediately reminded to become more alert. Check out the world. It’s happening now!

Marc Carlin

I function best in an atmosphere of love and encouragement.

Abhijit Bhaduri

Unexpected compliments!

Clare Appleyard

Inspiration.

James Burgos

Success.

Aayush Wasu

To point out negative things.

DrunkenG-ride Bouncer

The concern that my best friend shows for me!!!!!

Sabeena Mazumdar

I’m not your best friend Sabeena, but I am tickled that you have invited me to this group. It seems like the best group I’ve been invited to, so far. Thank you!!!

Carl Boniface (In response to Sabeena’s post above)

I agree! Thank you!

Lisa Morgan (In response to Carl’s post above)

Affection and candidness.

Praveen Amancharla

My tickles of life are being able to bless others in some small way. Taking my dog for a walk and observing all the joy she has at just sniffing her own path of adventure. Choosing ‘Thank you’ to be my first and last words of every day. Taking in sunshine and breathing in the beauty of life.

Katherine Mikshenas

It’s funny you wrote that about your dog. I live with a roommate and her 3 animals. I used to enjoy watching the dog sleep or eat or when we went for walks how much his tail wagged when he got to sniff everything. We lost him a month ago and I miss him dearly. I love all animals so much because they are pure love and nothing distracts them from showing it.

Lisa Morgan (In response to Katherine’s post above)

I love animals too. I am sorry to hear about your dog. Please know you are in my prayers. I believe that all animals are in a special place in heaven waiting for us. All through the bible animals are present. Therefore, God and His angels watch over them. My favorite scripture is “The soul of every living thing is in the hand of God” Job 12:10. God bless you and may God give you a message of comfort that your precious dog is with Him in a place of love and comfort. Blessings of peace.

Katherine Mikshenas (In response to Lisa’s post above)

Thank you so much. Just the other day, Wednesday, I rescued a baby bird in my back yard – actually right out of the mouth of my roommate’s cat. I bundled it and called to try to save him. My roommate was ready to say, oh, well. It’s nature. She thought I was nuts to try and save it in the middle of the snow and on a holiday, but I ended up taking the baby to a downtown vet where they later were going to transfer it to a wildlife rescue. I can’t understand how anyone could watch a little life that is so needy just freeze and starve when I can save it. A beating heart is still a beating heart no matter how small it is is how I look at it. I even try to save the mice, too, if I can. I still feel the dog around me and even though he wasn’t “mine”, he is in my heart.

Lisa Morgan (In response to Katherine’s post above)

God bless you for caring for the tiniest creatures. The bible says what you do for the least you do for God. May you be blessed one thousand fold for the love and compassion in your heart. God bless you for blessing my day.

Katherine Mikshenas (In response to Lisa’s post above)

Dear readers:

We request you to share your replies to the question “What tickles you?” in the form of comments below.

Josh Billings said, ‚ÄúDon’t mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.‚Äù I completely agree with him. So, let‚Äôs first get clear what we mean by ‚Äòhappiness‚Äô that we are talking about. Happiness involves making loving choices, one day, one moment at a time and our entire life gets filled with sheer joy.

Of course, happiness means different things to different people and yet we are all looking for it all the time. In fact, our entire search, our work, our family life, all that we do are geared towards finding real happiness. We invent things, entertainments, and foods, all in search of happiness.

We look for it outside of us and that is the mistake we make. Happiness is deep inside us. It is our very core; it is imprinted in our DNA. All we need to do is look within. Have you ever wondered how a smile comes to your lips when you see a gurgling baby; when you see little pups playing; when you listen to birds chirping or butterflies dancing?

Beautiful fragrant flowers make you joyful. Beauty in any form brings happiness to heart. Where did this happiness come from? Did you pay for it? Did you invite it? Did you invent it? No, something that was deep inside you just surfaced. That is the real joy, real happiness, real ananda, and it is inside you.

It is possible to remain in touch with this beautiful state all the time. You can stay in touch with this inner joy if you believe that you are an expression of God (and so is everyone/everything else around you). God is experiencing himself through all of this creation.

Just as we experience joy through the things that we create, including our children, He experiences joy through us. This joy is inherent in our nature. Let us pledge ourselves to access this happiness/joy/ananda, whatever you may call it, 24×7.

Let us look beyond the word ‘happiness’ to the reality ‘happiness’. Realty is a thing to be experienced. Let us open our hearts to this experience. Then God will smile through us and heaven will descend upon earth. Such is my dream and I know its fulfillment is right here in this very moment.

Let us savor this moment. Ah, happiness, so elusive and yet so within reach!

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit. – Hosea Ballou

Chitra Jha is a healer, writer, corporate trainer and verbal ability instructor.

I joined the working world 8 years ago upon graduating from the National University of Singapore. During the span of my career, I had been a researcher, an analyst, a project officer overseeing infrastructure projects and a customer service manager. Being a teacher is the latest entry in my career history. Life has offered me a fair share of twists and turns and experiences beyond my expectations. I still hold certain memories with fondness of former colleagues who have taught me much about life in their own ways.

By chance, I assisted in some children’s holiday enrichment programmes. Despite my quiet and reserved nature, I found myself getting along quite well with the children who attended the classes. Since then, I have progressed on to academic teaching in mathematics and reading. If there is any academic subject I feel confident enough to teach, it is mathematics. It had been a part of my life since age 7 till university. Now I have reconnected with the world of numbers, formulas, calculations and correct answers and have made it a way of life. Life is interesting the way it has turned out!

When I am in a class and my students greet me, it feels good. I like the feeling of being addressed as a teacher. My identity has changed from that of a regular person walking on the street to being a teacher. In an instant, the word ‘teacher’ holds an added meaning for me. I see myself as a guide who possesses certain knowledge and understanding, and hopes to share it with the younger generations as they go about life acquiring knowledge and learning about the world around them.

It is true that teaching offers much joy. When you see the look on a child’s face changing from confusion to clarity and understanding, knowing that he or she has learnt feels very much an accomplishment. Through teaching, I am adding to a child’s learning and making a small difference in his or her life. For all the teachers who have taught me, I can attest that they made a difference in my life. Seeing myself contributing to shape the future generations, the work I do has a very meaningful purpose. It is indeed a blessing and a great privilege to be a part of the teaching force.

That is my happiness!

I would also like to share with readers some tips to keep their happiness going.

• Keep a happiness journal.  Pen down all the wonderful memories since age one. Challenge yourself to list out one hundred.
• Pen down the amazing experiences you have had so far in 2008.
• List the very-important-others who are a huge part of your life. For each person, write one attribute that you really appreciate about them. Add a little story or incident to go with it if there’s one.
• Write all the significant achievements that you have accomplished since age one.
• Write down all the goals that you have set and achieved for 2008.
• Write down what else you are thankful for.
• Read through what you have written every now and then and keep your happiness alive.

To round off, here are some of my favourite happiness quotes:

• Happiness is the innocent smile on a child’s face.
• Happiness is a feeling you need not ask for more.
• Happiness is more lasting when the driving force is internal.
• Happiness never runs out for happy people.

Marilyn Chee is a Singapore-based freelance educator in mathematics and phonics reading.