Now comes the news that there has been a derailment in the Delhi metro although the system is almost new. One can cite thousands of such examples at the end of which we are forced to ask the question — what is really happening here? Is there a fundamental issue here beyond what appears on the surface?

There can be several answers but I shall highlight a few here.

Incidents like collapsing bridges point to not just poor execution and maintenance but to total lack of respect for life. The company that built the metro bridge probably had to pay so much money under the table in getting the contract that in its effort to recoup this ‘investment’ the company compromised on quality even if it meant a human disaster in the future.

I make bold to say that such compromises occur in almost every project in India. For example, contractors are known to compromise on not only on the quality of road construction to ‘recover’ their under-the-table investment but also to get the contract to repair the road after the next monsoon. Such stories lead me to find the underlying cause…the greed to get money even if it means shoddy work costing human lives.

There is a total disrespect for life.

It is sometimes stated that Indians are poor at maintenance of assets. This is true but reduces the issue to a managerial failing. I suggest that this trivializes the issue and diverts attention from the larger more sinister issue of the pursuit of wealth at any cost including human lives.

To return to the more superficial issue — our poor maintenance record — I feel that this indicates the reversing of roles of the trinity of the Hindu pantheon. Thus Brahma the Creator seems to have a small role to play since we create few assets. Vishnu  The Preserver has a marginal role since we are poor at maintenance. It is Shiva the Destroyer who prevails as we destroy assets at will in a riot, or even in a morcha. Apart from this we have no compunction in destroying lives. India is a Shivaite country! The only intriguing issue here is that Shiva stands for creative destruction. We have imbibed ‘destruction’ and ignored the ‘creative’ aspect.

Here’s a joke I read in an Indian newspaper that shows how poor we are at maintenance and how we can be corrupted to ignore maintenance.

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, “What do they do there?” He is told, “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.”

The man doesn’t like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries. He finds that they’re all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, “What do they do here?” He is told, “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.” “But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?” wonders the man. He is told, “Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former government servant, so he just comes in, signs the attendance register and then goes to the canteen.”

It was obvious to me that like any self respecting American, and a Harvard MBA to boot, he wanted a concrete answer. I told him that like any self respecting Indian I needed time to formulate my concrete views — a few weeks I told him. Unusual for an American, he agreed to meet me later on this point. As luck would have it I received an invitation to speak to a diverse audience in Washington DC, as part of the many farewell parties in my honour as I was packing my bags to return to India for good. I spoke on the topic: What Does It Mean To Be An Indian?

Here’s the gist of my speech.
It is always a difficult task to distil from the collective experience of a humungous civilization that single defining aspect of life that constitutes the character of India. I can only try ever so humbly. In trying to piece together my several thoughts on this subject, I was helped by a few incidents of a more recent vintage. These incidents perhaps highlight what it means to be an Indian.

When I saw Ms Susan Boyle winning the hearts of the world with her talent and simple upbringing in the show Britain’s Got Talent, I asked myself whether a similar show in the Indian context might reveal to me what was perhaps hidden in the multiple images that India conjures in any mind. Sure enough I happened to receive an email forward by someone named Mary that stunned me. Here was a group of labourers performing a sensational dance relating to Lord Krishna in the wildly popular show India’s Got Talent. They called themselves The Prince Dance Group and had a physically challenged guy too. The amazing choreography, the use of traditional mythology, the perfect sense of timing and above all, the self confidence to perform before an urban audience — it was truly breathtaking.

The judges were among the best known talents in India: film director Shekhar Kapoor, actress Kiron Kher, and actress Sonali Bendre. As the act came to a close I could see tears in the eyes of the judges. Though there were not many close-ups of the audience I suspect there was hardly a dry eye in the crowd. Even as the dance came to a close I could hear shouts of “BHARATR MATA KI JAI!”

As the dance came to an end Kapoor actually wept and declared, “I have seen performers in the US,UK and Russia but believe me I have never seen anything like this . I am really proud to be an Indian.”The other judges just about managed to control their tears. Kher was ecstatic –“Fantastic, Fantastic!” she shouted .

I really cried for more than one reason.. Not only did I find the talent stunning, I had found the answer to the question I had been asked to answer — What Does It Mean To Be An Indian?

Here was a bunch of Oriya labourers — I have spent a decade in Orissa and am more than familiar with the extensive and degrading poverty there. These labourers live under inhuman conditions and as far as we urbanites can see they may have no hope of ever living a civilized life, even generations from now. Yet these guys had shown that one defining Indian characteristic ….Endurance… a quality that makes us not just put up with great odds but strive with the confidence that one day we will win — that every night is followed by the dawn, that all is never lost, that no matter how the international community jeers at our corruption, our idiotic politicians, our inept bureaucracy, our moribund education system, our abysmal health system, our crumbling infrastructure, our humungous population, we will come up triumphant.

Of course we realize that these are lofty sentiments and unless they are translated into concrete action we will remain as a nation thriving on pious platitudes. Believe me, young India has clearly told the older, fading generation, “We have seen and tasted progress. We will go ahead no matter what. Not all our vile politicians or bumbling bureaucrats or corrupt policeman or judges can hold us down. We will rise despite you guys.” Indians have endured much over thousands of years but have now decided that if you can’t beat them just dexterously move around them.

The evidence of a young India on the move is now seen in the far corners of the country as youngsters from small towns and remote villages display uncanny talent and ambition. I recall seeing a TV journalist asking a young boy in a remote village in Bihar about his role model. “Bill Gates” was the answer coming from a smiling cherubic face, even though it seemed to me that he had not eaten a fulsome meal all his life! He had endured hunger for years and his family had endured hunger for maybe generations but that did not prevent this youngster from aspiring to be the world’s richest man sometime in the future. The extraordinary confidence in that boy’s body language told me that he was aiming for the stars and at worst he may make it to the moon.

My own family is a saga in the endurance that characterizes India. My grandfather was a laborer in a harbor in a small town in south India. He and his large family of 5 sons and a daughter endured a marginal existence. My father joined a private sector company during British rule in India. When the world went to war in 1939 my father lost his job. He told me much later that my mother had, at one stage, only one saree, the traditional Indian women’s wear. She would wash this lone saree at night and cover herself with a towel and quickly wear the saree at break of dawn. The family endured near poverty and yet I am an MBA from an ivy league Indian business school, and a modestly successful guy. My niece was ranked among the highest in GMAT scores in the world. She is a Harvard alumnus and works for the most admired consulting firm in the world at Wall Street. Her siblings are all highly qualified professionals, who in their early years endured a humble middle class existence but are now in the topmost income brackets in the USA — a far cry from their laborer great grand father.

At this point of time I look at India as a genie that has come out of the bottle. The British denuded India over 200 years. Thereafter a rapacious polity and a repressive bureaucracy kept the lid tightly closed. But now a long suppressed people have decided to endure such atrocities no more. India’s time has come. BHARAT MATA KI.’

As I took my seat there were not a few wet eyes in the room. My eyes were wet too. If you believe in what I have said please forward this to your friends.

“Use your manners, would ya?” said the the group leader. “Turn around and come back in quietly.”

And in mid-rage, huffing and puffing, buddy just stopped. Calmly. “Oh. Okay then.” And he left the room, re-opened the door, walked in and sat down in the nearest empty seat. Quietly.

Standards work wonders.

When we routinely justify people’s poor behavior, we block the chances for change to occur. Excuses repress clarity. I worked with someone for too long who was bipolar manic depressive and we always chalked up her behavior to their illness. We let her off the hook for all sorts of crappy behavior. But nasty is nasty, and mean is mean, and my standards are higher than that.

So next time your mother is a bit well, you know how she gets. Or your typically grouchy neighbor is a grouch. Or your always-under-a-lot-of-stress boss loses her cool because she’s so understandably stressed… Call it at face value, all afflictions, dispositions and psych 101 labels aside. There is no excuse for bad manners.

Common sense is a mighty powerful thing.

The irony of the situation is that even after thinking so much about time — its significance and the consequences of wasting it — most of us fail in managing our life time successfully! Therefore, I thought of sharing a little secret of mine that might nudge you into appreciating time and using it well.

Just imagine you have a big bottle to fill every day and you are given three things to fill this receptacle: the first is big pebbles, then you have small pebbles and finally you have sand. However the one condition is that you have to fill the bottle in such a way that no spaces are left among big pebbles, small pebbles and the sand.

There are three ways to do this: first you can fill the sand first then the small and finally the big pebbles. But if you do so, there will be spaces left between big and small pebbles as all pebbles are of different sizes (remember we need to fill the bottle while completely packing it).

As a second option, you can fill the small pebbles first then the big stones and then the sand but this time some of the sand will tend to slip down from the spaces between the big pebbles and reach the small pebbles so we will still have some minute spaces in between (this method clearly fails).

Thirdly you can first fill the big pebbles but since they are of different sizes some space will be left in between so next you can fill the small pebbles which will occupy the spaces left between the big pebbles. Although the small pebbles are of a different size, some space will be left in between them as well. These minute spaces can be filled by the sand and in this way you can completely fill the vessel without leaving any spaces.

Now you must imagine that time is like a vessel and the big pebbles are the most important things in your life. The small pebbles are less important matters and the sand represents the things that have least importance on your priority list. The empty spaces left in between signify the regrets or opportunities missed in life, so you must divide your work in order of priority to leave no empty spaces (regrets or missed opportunities).

Remember as you utilise your time so shall you define your life. Make your life’s priority list and examine it regularly with this illustration in mind. Are you putting the small, insignificant things things first or are you pre-occupied with the not-so-important facets of your life? Are you neglecting your inner self, your big dreams, your family or your spiritual life while putting friends, ego, and money first?

So what kind of life are you opting for today — one filled with spaces or one with no spaces for regrets?

It is difficult to be a child of the 21st century -  to be a part of the most educated generation of the human race. I’m afraid the people around me are all masters of their own field – educated, more educated, most educated. Everyone knows everything. Alas! They don’t leave room for me to discover anything new.

Their ocean of knowledge is so deep that a new drop of creativity is a strictly forbidden in their already established knowledge of ocean. I still can’t forget my physics teacher’s words when describing Albert Einstein, “You know Einstein left school at a very young age and still he was the greatest scientist of all times. You know why? Because he was passionate.  But this new generation is only passionate about  wasting time”. Yes sir I thought, we are wasting our time studying something for 8 hours in the school every day (which has to be mugged up at the end of the session). Then  we return home from school where we need at least 2-3 hrs to complete our homework. Then we have to assist Mom with chores and then go to sleep to be prepared for another day at school.  Huh! Where’s the time for passion?

I bet if Einstein had wasted so much time everyday he wouldn’t have been so renowned today. Today we all are so caught up in the cobwebs of so called ‘educated’ era that getting out of it seems impossible. Schools are a good example of the irony of this situation. They promise to nurture the special gift of every child  while recognising his/her unique aptitude. They are supposed  to be the temples of learning but  we get caught up in a maze of stale thinking and rigid attitudes. For example, if a particular child is recognised for his/her outstanding academic skills then this wonder child is unofficially appointed as a lifetime examplar. This adulation creates a barrier for other children who want to recognized in the same field but are overlooked because of the teachers’ attitudes and the precedent set by the high achieving student.

But why does his happen?  Probably because a school is made up of  a highly educated faculty  with an entrenched attitude of accomplishment and they are very conservative  about welcoming new talents. I remember how my parents advised me to take a one year break from football. Their reasoning was  that people would be far more interested in my academic accomplishments than in my  prowess on the football field.

Do you see how education has stopped us from being children?  The demands of education  make it almost impossible  to play and enjoy life at a physical level.

Our parents and teachers are forgetting that inspiration to create in the science, business, technology and the arts often come during recreational moments when we are not overloading our brains with force-fed academics and old knowledge.

I think this era of education is back firing us today. The more education we acquire, the less inner  space we leave  for new ideas to germinate. Everything has become too competitive and life is too regimented.  Where is that spontaneous joy of just being human? I think we need a few more people like Galileo to upset the status quo with some radical ideas from out left field.  If by chance another Galileo-type radical  came along  to question today’s value systems, he won’t be hanged to death, but he would certainly have to go through the biggest test of his life. Why? It is because today people are so ‘educated’ they delude themselves into thinking they know it all!  No one is allowed to challenge them.  The moral of the story if formal education is making our human minds so closed up and inflexible, then personally I would prefer to be uneducated.

How often today do we hear that lament, “Help me, my family’s falling apart…” or “I can’t stand to be around my crazy, dysfunctional family.” Happy families are in danger of becoming extinct in today’s world where individuality, inflexibility and selfishness seem to be the driving emotions in the average human human being. There is no doubt that the breaking down of the traditional family unit and its embedded value systems are among the key factors responsible for the social decay and personal feelings of angst that are manifesting all around us.

Without the bedrock of happy, well-grounded and responsible families, our society and by extension, our civilisation, is weakening at its core level and steadily aborting prospects for balanced social and economic progress in the years to come. There is much merit in the old adage, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”

Genuine progress in any society is hardly about one-sided technological developments or the vulgar, money-worshiping propensities and materialism of the nouveau riche. Au contraire, civilization evolves when it is predicated on family harmony, spiritual development, social responsibility toward the environment and all sentient beings and an appreciation for art, science and life in its diverse manifestations. In most instances, the family unit is the womb within which all human frames of reference, values and aspirational goals are birthed and nurtured.

Happy, deeply-inspired families are the ones that spend quality time together. They learn together, grow together and show affection for each other in myriad ways. But what actually creates the environment to nurture a happy and emotionally balanced family? It is really very simple.

Writers Diane Loomans and Julia Loomans in their book, Full Esteem Ahead: 100 Ways to Teach Values and Build Self-Esteem for All Ages suggest that parents should consider the “Happy Home” Interview. In those learning sessions, parents were requested to ask their children two simple questions: “What is a happy home like?” and “What makes our home feel good?”

Parents were amazed by the simplicity and honesty of the responses which usually focused on everyday things. The kids were more interested in feeling good and connecting with their parents than they were in expensive toys, computer games or big houses. The children said they were happiest when the family played games together; hugged and showed their affection regularly; communicated openly and showed interest in each other by asking about the events of the day.

You too can begin your quest to nurture a happy home by having your children write down their answers to your Happy Home interview. Feel free to modify or add questions but make sure it is an enjoyable self-exploratory exercise for the children. This idea should be extended to include spouses and both husband and wife (where applicable) should make an effort to answer the same questions.

Share the ideas with the family and make plans to act on some of the easier-to-implement recommendations as soon as possible. For example if someone wants to hear crystal wind chimes because they invoke memories of contentment and inner peace, then all it takes is a trip to the store to make that one little dream come true. Try to accommodate at least one suggestion from every family member at regular intervals so no one feels left out of the plans.

We are living in a world where increasingly people tend to whine, complain and focus on the ‘negative’ facets of living instead of looking at life in a balanced, objective way. Unfortunately too many children are being conditioned to be on the “gimme gimme” wavelength and are not encouraged to be mindful of the abundance that surrounds them in the form of family, friends, nature and life opportunities. An old French proverb reminds us that, “Gratitude is the heart’s memory.” A happy family is one that is truly appreciative of its blessings and challenges because both converge to create the ideal circumstances to build character and deepen the love and commitment among members. Remind each other every day to be thankful for relatives, friends, animals and nature and the wonderful opportunities to learn and grow as individuals. Teach your kids to explore and integrate this precious, life-affirming principle into their lives. As they learn to focus on the abundance rather than on the perceived ‘lack’ in their lives, you will be helping them to design an important new blueprint for the future while you keep positive vibrations flowing in the home place.

Bring your family closer together by creating a quality ‘family night’ every week. Designate one night every week as ‘together time’ and have a theme so no one is bored by just sitting around. You can consider an exotic cook-out night, comedy movie night, spiritual story night or anything else that will interest the family. Consider changing the themes after a while and ask family members for suggestions. Feel free to share jokes, incidents at work or school, questions and anecdotes with each other. You will be surprised at how much more you’ll learn to appreciate and support each each other during these special evenings. Don’t forget to switch off those intrusive cell phones while you are enjoying each other’s company.

Another way to deepen family bonding, teach kids responsibilities (and get some work done around the house at the same time) is to carefully assign family responsibilities. If everyone in the family is participating regularly in some type of personal development activity or hobby, then household chores will be neglected or overlooked. Call a family meeting and explain that in order to maintain the schedule of other activities, everyone will have to contribute some time to get the housework done and then assign chores according to age and ability. Even the younger children can help with simpler tasks such as picking up toys, clearing the table and watering plants.

Wouldn’t it be great if when you start a family, someone can hand you a book of guaranteed-to-work guidelines on how to nurture a satisfied and emotionally well-adjusted family? Unfortunately that is not possible but you can do a great job anyway by implementing a few basic, time-tested guidelines. As cliched as it may sound, a family that plays and prays together, stays together. Keep your family inspired and motivated with love, appeciation, wholesome values, reality checks and a fair share of responsibilties and you are well on your way to success. This is not about quantum physics or advanced calculus. It is about priorities, common sense, sensitivity and a willingness to realise that a loving family is the wind beneath the wings of every child, man and woman who wants to soar to greater heights in life.

First Important Lesson – Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one: ‘What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?’
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50′s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
‘Absolutely,’ said the professor. ‘In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘hello.’
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Second Important Lesson – Pickup In The Rain

One night, at 11:30 pm, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled ’60s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.
It read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.”
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Third Important Lesson – Always Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
“How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked.
“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
“Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
“Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
“I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.
You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Fourth Important Lesson – The Obstacle In Our Path

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.
After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.
The peasant learned what few people in the world truly understand: Within every obstacle lies a golden opportunity to improve our condition.

Fifth Important Lesson – Giving When It Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.”
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?”
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her but he had chosen to save her anyway.

Gratitude to Geir Ove Knutsen for sharing these five stories with me.

Let us all take these beautiful lessons to heart today…
1) In our life we will meet many people. All are significant. They all deserve our attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.”
2) Never pass an opportunity to serve others. Our smallest gestures showing care can affect their life profoundly.
3) Always remember those who serve you, even in the smallest way. Never take them for granted even if they take you for granted!
4) Within every obstacle lies a golden opportunity to improve our condition.
5) Give when it counts. Give without counting. Give!

These universal stories have been selected by Nithya Shanti.

I read this at an aquarium in Kuala Lumpur. Given that most of the creatures are facing extinction in the order of magnificence they exude, I felt aquarium was probably the most appropriate place as the beauty and splendor of the aquatic life is just breath taking.

Recently I saw an advertisement in Doordarshan (National TV channel in India) about preserving national monuments. A kid walks up to a couple who scribble on the monument and reprimands them for doing so. Then the kid recites a small poem about greatness and national pride. It is heartening to see that Indian Government or at least some bureaucrat has understood the essence of preservation which is to teach it first.

Just an extrapolation into our day-to-day lives: When people say simple things like they lost your gift, forgot to call you or forgot your phone number or address it leads to a myriad of questions – Do they want to preserve the relationship/friendship? Do they love/care about you? Do they understand you? Were they taught to understand you? Who should teach them by the way?

I guess the answer lies in “you”.

It’s high time we understand the concept of learning by experience and treating everybody with unconditional love and respect and teach the same to our fellow human beings. Otherwise, we will end up preserving everything for the posterity, be it trees, tigers, climate, friendships, relationships, or for that matter our very own selves. Interestingly even the deadliest and fastest of predators, the cheetah, does not intend to hurt the gazelle for the sake of it but only because, it has to! But we humans hurt and hunt, deprecate and destroy without much reason other than fun! Finally, when someone shows some alarming numbers (of the falling tiger population or climate change) or when relationships/friendships become estranged or when someone whom we “used” to love/care for dies, we suddenly feel the need to preserve anything and everything related to them. I guess the failed children of deserted parents need special mention in this category of preservers.

Take this thought a little further and impersonal. Imagine this story; boss of an organization had the worst day at office with a belligerent customer, he vents it all on his business head, who in turn passes it down the chain and finally a cab driver gets the worst end of the stick from an irate employee who gets dropped at night after a long day’s work trying to solve the issue reported by the very same customer. The driver feels humiliated. Now, he is at the bottom of the food chain. Where can he go? Whom can he shout at? He cannot shout at fellow motorist as it is late in the night and no self-respecting woman will take domestic violence, so he decides to go to a prostitute. This is not something which I made up, but one of the discussion papers on AIDS has highlighted that it is prevalent amongst drivers who are affected by road rage and inept at fighting back for their self-esteem. They take this route to sanguinity from their state of despondency. Today, we have potentially led ourselves to a crisis called AIDS. If, one of them in the chain had been rational and reacted with patience, could we have potentially averted an impending disaster?

This might sound as an immoderate story and a haughty claim of saving the planet and humanity but David A. Shiang, an extra-ordinary thinker of our times, says, “The notion of ascertaining deep truths through the mind may sound far-fetched, but it is the revolutionary nature of the human experience that makes this kind of knowledge possible.” He also says that the human mind has the capacity to understand the fundamental reality and argues that many of our deepest insights are the result of experience and not mathematics, measurement or experiment. Any stretch of imagination is permissible and the learning gained through this kind of thinking, insight and experience is the route to achieving higher-consciousness which a select few like Buddha, Jesus, and Prophet Mohamed have achieved.

I think I have shared some hard learnt experience on unconditional love in my own style or if I were to be a little pedagogic, have taught the importance of unconditional love. Now, think twice when you humble, hurt or hunt for some one. You never know what you would end up preserving!

–

Sundararaman Viswanathan is engineer by qualification, manager by profession, aspiring writer and a wannabe entrepreneur at heart. He currently works as a Transition Manager, with vast experience in managing the support of mission critical IT systems.

I have rebuilt them, defined them, refined them, to the extent they deserved, or may be more, out of inherent kindness in the beginning, in the mid nineties.

Not off late.

As in the mid nineties, I had stepped out of the IAF, an Officer and a Gentleman, and always thought that the other party is truthful too, trustworthy, well meaning, humane. In 9 out of 10 cases none were.

They ultimately used me…as I allowed myself to be used, that’s my long drawn final conclusion.
I blame myself, not them, as I made few, but too many incorrect choices.
None other.

Commitment, passion, integrity, loyalty, discipline, moral Responsibility, mission, vision, leadership, etc. – all of these basic ingredients for building an organization, were advocated to have been taken care of, by all of them in principle…but to my chagrin, none ever did.

They were mere words used to showcase the window of opportunity offered to me, to set them either right and/or upright, thanks to my organizational exposure, experience etc. Not to forget the best training/honing in the world, as a leader. As a combat pilot.

A living, walking talking, working, example of the “plan, brief, execute, debrief, WIN” approach, that makes us what we are, all over the world. True well meaning executioners, situational leaders, and gentlemen who know how to command respect and never demand it.
Men of right stuff, who hire the right stuff, and groom to bloom them in times to come, as the best stuff.
Through devotion, passion, compassion.

Commitment, passion, integrity, loyalty, discipline, moral Responsibility, mission, vision, leadership, etc to me now, when I get to look back, I kind of realize that those words were akin to bedecked mannequins, posing in the  windows of retail shops to attract vary/unwary customers. In true line and spirit of the ever famous selling adage…whatever is seen is sold.

One of my initial tickles talks extensively about values.
The importance I attach and attached to that coveted set of human trait was spelt out over there.

In the end I always get to focus on values and never to monetary gains.

But the corporate world is all about money…minus values.
That’s for certain.
So I guess I am/was trying to fit squares into circles.
In vain.
As it’s all about gain, gain, gain…and inherent human pain.

My attempts to build in values into the business plan always went waste.
As the owner(s) of the business(es) was/were always in a haste.
To taste…money…money…money….nothing else.

None of the entrepreneurs, whether first generation or second generation, valued values.
In the end all of them did use the word or words “we are businessmen” or “this is business”.
Ringing in my ears like hollow bells.

Their business!
For sure when it recovers…recovered thanks to my efforts.

Your business when I got invited…incited…into it.

Our business…in the in=between phases.

Ironically speaking.

That pattern, and those words, became my milestones to watch and ward for, what would come next.
In other words, I got partially corporatized too.
Only to that extent.
So that I would not get to repeat the mistakes in the past, and make millionaires out of them.
No more.

I would rather live a paltry life than give in, to capitalism, as such.
In the recent times we have seen the end result of that path with USA and the rest of the world now reeling under recession.

Thanks to the managers…who I aptly call damagers…who get to manage companies and hold key posts either due to their personal relationships with the owners, friendship, or fancy MBA degrees.

Ideally termed as henchmen of the short-sighted CEOs and Managing Directors alias Damaging Directors.

These MDs and CEOs use every rule in the book to flaunt their incomes, lifestyles, from the companies’ funds, as they get to control them.
They always get to remark…”Look I pay you more than I take home.”

Kids would swallow that pill…not me, ever.
As perks and expenses, they carry forward bills for any thing and everything they spend, into the company accounts.

Do they ever dirty their hands themselves? No never.
They don’t have to too. No, as they are pedestalized.
As though it’s their birthright.

Do they reward and recognize intelligence? No never.
As they are scared stiff of losing everything to that intelligent guy if he rises up.

Do they have respect for rules and regulations?
Procedures…processes?
No never…as money can buy anything and every thing.
Including pedigreed, greedy, fancy degree holders.

Not to forget the in-vogue certifications too…that help shine the awning of the business house, to attract more gullible talent, and unwary customers.

Value based professionals with in-built experience…never.

Do they have a vision? On paper… yes!!! But in spirit…its zilch.
Do they have missions? Not really.
Do they set realistic goals? Seldom as goal setting is a useless exercise for the all knowing CEO/MD with self acclaimed experience of donkey’s years, built into the business plan too.

Do they have tactical and strategical plans in place…never!
It’s always play by the ear stuff…and more of “build as you get along”.

Do they hire to retain, grow, and not use and throw? No they don’t.
They invariably hire to fire.
Or get to make the employee what I now call “resign by design”
Use and throw….in any which way they can…as money can get them another resource.

Do they have a healthy respect for standard operating procedures?
Whats that? Ha…ha…ha.
Do they know how to find the right man for the right job…yes, they do as long as it’s one of their friend’s relatives, a novice all obliging youngster, with a gift of the gab, apple polisher, or a mole of long standing.

Do they know whether they are coming or going…yes they do as long as the money is coming!

But who am I to ask all this?
Who gave me the authority?
How dare I?

That’s the stance they took…will take too, as and when things are in place and traction has either happened or made to happen after I slog at it, passionately.
How stupid of me.

The last time I did help somebody in such a grief… he went ahead and made 10 billion dollars.
Covertly or overtly…but he did.
Ultimately.

As hind sight I know where and at what stage he would have fallen on his face but for my contribution to stabilize it for its worth then.
I peeled off from that business plan at the right time as values meant nothing…money every thing.

I regretted too, initially, as I lost out on an opportunity to rake in too.
Not for long…as what I was prophetic about its downfall, while leaving them, it came true too, within the time lines assigned.
That business plan was closed down in times to come.

My values saved me…so what I missed out on the moolah!
That’s me speaking as hindsight now.

I moved my cheese well in time.
Minus the larger pain that would have resulted had I continued to build it on their set of values.

The next couple of business plans were a cake walk for me…as I had by now learnt how to read the message on the wall pretty well and early too…and stop dead in my tracks of growing it when things were not in alignment to what was initially decided.
I would warn them…and wait for the change to happen.

It would not…so there I was moving my cheese once again.
Minus the greater pain as an end result.

As hind sight and after a lot of introspection I am convinced and have not and will not ever…join them, as is spelt out in a very corporate adage “when you can’t win then join them.”
What for…for a few dollars more?
Never.

The secret of success is known to both the successful and the unsuccessful.
Yes I know I can never make money…as my value-based tale is too long to carry and wield in a modern corporate environment.
I am made to earn money…work hard and slog…pay check to pay check.
I shall.
With my values inbuilt…and move ahead, till I either reach that set of the best professionals who do too.

As the best work for the best.

Either that…or, if I ever decide to make money…like the one man I admire, I will too…like…Mr Warren Buffet did.

I would too.

As he is an ideal Idol.

–

Arun alias Axee is an ex-combat pilot turned executive life coach. He is actively involved with Brian Tracy in a novel learning initiative, iLearningGlobal.biz/axee. Contact him at emarshalarun@gmail.com.

I have helped people in distress! How? By forwarding emails that would pay 2 cents for every email forwarded to the little girl who is battling for her life in an ICU in some obscure hospital, with baffling complications, which only some brilliant specialist surgeon can handle. The surgery costs a huge sum though. But no sweat. I need not reach for those purse-strings yet. I need to just forward this email to my 300+ contacts who will so generously forward it again to their kith and kin. I would still contribute to this good cause. I am proud to have done my bit for her. I feel good.

What else? I have shared important information that could help my friends in distress. Like how to deal with a heart attack if you are alone or how not to get trapped by thieves at the ATM and how to bring in the local police by simply typing your password backwards. I do care for my friends and relatives and isn’t that a great social cause?

More. I had been deeply moved by the events that rolled out on our television screens on 26/11. My Mumbai had been attacked! I couldn’t take that, could I? I signed the online petition that urged the Government to proactively take on the scourge of terrorism that was eating into our national fabric. What more could I do?

Are you laughing at me? I just hope you are! Because all my responses described above can be collectively called “slacktivism” -  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slacktivism – a combination of “slacker” and “activism”.  You don’t need to dirty your hands or spend more time than to lift your finger only to click on your mouse to either sign that petition that you so ardently support or to forward that email that could save someone’s life. Everyone is doing it – all for a good cause!

If you think online petitions work, read about their shortcomings here: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/petition/internet.asp. If you think that the forwards do pay those 2 cents per forwarded mail, please be informed that these are hoax emails with nobody tracking them and no money being offered. Also often, almost always, nobody is in distress either. Thankfully! So what good have I done last year? Except the feel-good sigh that one heaved of having acted on things close to our heart?

The world is going through a bad phase. Corporates, globally, are cutting down on their expenses. One hopes that they don’t cut down on their CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) spends this year. One also hopes that we citizens too do not cut back on our social responsibility, which means a whole lot to those who aren’t asking for too much – only their survival and their basic needs in life. That project to build a home for the homeless, that school for the tribal children, physically or mentally disabled children or for the street children of a megacity would surly get held up for lack of funds, while we click away to glory. Back the genuine cause of your choice to the hilt – with some real help – your money, your time and your attention. This is the time when they need it most!

–

A management professional, Gopinath is a hobbyist writer since his college days. Humour, language, creativity are the main subjects of his interest. His “artickles” blog provides information, insights into current events with a humorous twist. Visit him at http://whatnonsanz.blogspot.com/.

Since the beginning of this week, I have been mulling over a series of events that have happened in these past few days, weeks, months.
The good the bad the ugly were being sorted out within the mind.
Every thing within the mind came to a grinding halt, as I read…

I read the other day… that, if you do not live the values you claim to have…you have none.
That got me thinking.
That got me introspecting.
That got me mulling.
That got me musing…too.

This thought was the prime cause of a kind of pleasant/unpleasant turmoil, within my thought sphere.
Have I or have I not?

However, it was obvious to me that, I have.
Why?
Had I not I would have been materialistically as comfortable as all the others, that have brought me to this stage, are.
I am not an owner of any land, house, or any valuable asset, a fat bank balance, Swiss accounts, that I need to cling to, out of fear of a disastrous tomorrow.

When I set out on this journey years ago I had decided I would be above acquisitions.
In this past close to three decades, I have stuck to those guns.
Cheers!
One value maintained.

I learnt to live by the day…in Fighter Flying.
Am I still living by that day?
That is another question that has been gnawing my conscience too.
Yes, I have…as I have made it a habit not to look beyond the nose.
Also:
Since having left the last commitment that was fetching a sizable amount I have been doing just that…once again.
Living by the day.
In the now.
Wow!
Another value lived.

On monetary issues, I had decided to follow the adage “The more you give the more you get”
While churning my thoughts on this front, I scrutinized what have I given and what have I gained.

I have been pained…I realized.
As I gave out as much as was required to, and more than what I could afford…was bargained/called, for.
I seldom kept aside anything for the so-called rainy days.
Whenever it rained it poured and I got drenched…yes, I get into that state even now.
With rain comes the pain.
With the pain…gain.

But  introspectively speaking…the returns have been relatively more…although they have come with a lot of pain.
Pain of getting wet and sick, in the rain…invariably.
Minus the rain coats…that non-valued have.

I guess no harm delves there, as “no pain no gain” is another value as a virtue I have lived thus far.
Thus a ‘value chain’ was built up with this third addition‚Ķas a penultimate link.
Brought in a sense of happiness once it got built.

The strength of a chain is its weakest link.
In my case that link is always love.
Did I make it the strongest?
Could I?
Did I sacrifice enough for all those I Love?

Through unbiased analysis, I realized that I have.
Without them knowing/realizing.

Else, why would I be in this state?
Love values value…in the end.
True love.

Friends… true friends also value valued friendship.
Did I celebrate here too?
My true friends know me too well and there are not very many of them.
Cheers!!

The sun is up.
Still, I would raise a toast to those few…in this early morn!

Also, as a second thought another toast, to all those who have used me, betrayed me, stabbed me in the back, ditched me, etc. etc.
Why them?
As they are not going to get a second chance with me.
Never.

While they did so…they also helped me learn.
Learn I did from my own mistakes.
Not to repeat them.

Values are lived if you consciously remind yourself, to NOT be misled.
Did I do that?
Yes.

With this answer emerging after a short analysis within my train of thoughts inside the brain, a smile emerged, and so did a sense of well-being.

The next reaction was to blog it…as the effort of this day, this moment, this now.
Doing just that…straight away.
Before the thoughts get stale and pale.

In the end, I realized that my sense of discomfiture was more out of comparisons and out of external inputs that I allowed to impregnate within my thought process.

The inputs came from the people I meet, met, people I worked with  in these past years, people who ditched me, so called professionals who showed there true colours, once they got what they wanted, people who tried to force me to take short cuts…but could not.

They had all rather attempted to outweigh my value chain.
But the rider that tilted that scale back in my favour was my conscience.
I found it clear… without a smear.

So called good friends and blood who surround us for the sake of pure materialistic gains that we are capable of generating by the tons‚Ķbut hesitate in doing that…try both subtly and not so subtly, to make us veer away from valued values.
Not our immediate loved ones, though.

What pains us is the fact that NOT all these people live the same values as we get to do.

Alternatively, should I put it this way… why do not I join them?
As I am unable to win them…thus far?
Let me also take the easier way out.
Be thick skinned.
Have fair weather friends…by the dozens.
Like the masses… that amass.
By hook or crook.

I cannot…unfortunately.

Why?
I ask myself.
Again and again.

Values seldom get you quick gains.
Values do not take care of your perpetual wants.
Values do not buy you comforts.
Values take you away from lucrative jobs.
Values do not get you so-called friends by the droves.
Values fetch you pains.
Values ensure you invest in long term relationships.
That’s why.

Then why live values?
Live them to take care of your needs.
Simple.

The values that I lived so diligently thus far do not allow me to go astray.
I have valued values and have decided to value them anyway, always.

As values do, definitely take care of your needs…not your wants.
Needs are all I need.

As God, also takes care of our needs and not our wants.
The other one prevailing thought that helped me in recovering from this spin like maneuver was:

“I had no shoes and I complained till I saw a man who had no feet.”

Readers …did you find me complaining?

–

Arun is an ex-combat pilot turned executive life coach. He is actively involved with Brian Tracy in a novel learning initiative, iLearningGlobal.biz/axee. Contact him at emarshalarun@gmail.com.