Generally people can be seen fretting and fuming whenever they have to wait long for their turns. Sometimes, things turn a little unpleasant too what with some shoving and pushing here and there. Blaring of horns when the traffic signal turns from red to green, is a case in point. Frowning faces are a common sight whenever there is any delay in getting what people want.

But not so in eating joints! See the crowd at any eating joint and observe the difference. People have radiant faces as they wait for their orders. If the delivery is delayed and the kids get impatient, the parents try to cheer them up. Why this difference in attitude at eating joints?

I have never agreed with any research finding that says that every individual has a split personality. But watching crowds with smiles instead of frowns on their faces at eating joints has forced me to change my view.

How the prospect of yummy eats tickles people’s taste buds and fills them with anticipatory joy is a fascinating phenomenon. And the best part is when people actually take the first bite. What blissful expressions they have! Eating faces are the happiest faces!

Every one of us should pay our sincere gratitude to the eating joints. I do.

We have a persistent feeling of events receding into a past of non-existence. The future is a nebulous void. The present moment is all that we experience and therefore grant it a higher level of existence.

But as soon as we become aware of the present moment, it turns into the past. It is like the flash of lightning that appears and disappears. As events flow in succession, we are left wondering what this freaky ride from birth to death is all about.

Apparently, time is a continuum consisting of the past, the present and the future.

Generally, when we think of time we think of the ways in which we measure the passing of time such as hours and days. We do not think of time itself. Time is seen as a measuring system that we use to sequence events.

But what is it that we are measuring?

We may say that the next train will come in 45 minutes. While this information is useful, it says nothing about what it is that we are measuring. What interests me is the nature of the ‘interval’. What happens when time passes?

A bud blossoms into a flower. Once in full bloom, it starts withering away slowly. Everything around us goes on changing. What brings these changes about? The obvious answer is time. But what is time?

Time is what life is made of. Time is what we have when we are alive. As a necessary attribute of existence, it is very obvious. And yet, it completely eludes us as it has no form.

HOW WE SENSE TIME

Time is the main factor for the ‘persistence’ of existence and for the change to happen. Interestingly, change is caused by time which in turn enables us to perceive change.

Time is a convenient paradigm to register the movements of the earth, the moon and other bodies in the space. Time is measured by motion and it also becomes evident through motion.

Time is the framework that allows us to put experience in perspective by placing events sequentially. It isolates events occurring in the same physical location. It prevents everything from happening simultaneously.

Different people perceive time differently. Even the same person perceives it differently at different times.

When we are engaged in an activity we love, time seems to fly. We experience timelessness. When we are doing something unpleasant, time seems to drag. Different stimuli alter our perception of time.

Small amounts of time are seen in a cyclical fashion – 24-hour clock, 7-day week, 12-month year – all repeating themselves. Long stretches of time, however, are seen in a linear fashion as they stretch on before us.

Time also appears to pass more quickly as one gets older. According to Stephen Hawking the perception of time is a ratio between the unit of time and time lived.

For example, one day to a one year old would be 1:365 while one day to a forty year old would be 1:14610. Therefore, one day appears much longer to a child than to an adult, even though the measure of time is the same.

All of which means that time is only in our mind!

TIME AND THE RELATIVITY THEORY

The universe is said to have emerged as a result of the Big Bang some 13.7 billion years ago. Before that, all matter was packed into an extremely tiny dot. That dot also contained the matter that later came to be the sun, the earth and the moon – the heavenly bodies that tell us about the passing of time.

Before the Big Bang, there was no space or time. The concept of time and space began exactly when the universe started expanding with the Big Bang. Space happened as the universe expanded. Time happened so that the changes in space could be noticed.

If space has three dimensions, time is the fourth one that reveals the movement of the objects in three-dimensional space.

Einstein says that we can imagine all of space and time represented as a four-dimensional space-time combo, which embodies all of the past, the present and the future of the universe.

According to this theory, the past, the present and the future have the same level of existence. Since our senses can’t absorb the totality of the space-time combo at once, we absorb it in parts.
What we absorb at a given time is called the present. What has already been absorbed is the past. What is yet to be absorbed is the future.

According to Einstein’s relativity theory, we have this illusion of a changing, three-dimensional world, even though nothing changes in the four-dimensional space-time combo.

The relativity theory also gives rise to the concept of time travel that involves moving backwards and forwards in time. Though theoretically possible, it is not known how far it is practical.

LIVING IN TIMELESSNESS

Finally, here is an interesting fact about a tribe, which is in perfect consonance with the relativity theory!

The language of the Hopi contains no words or expressions or grammatical forms that even remotely refer to time. For them, there is no such thing as the past, the present or the future. For them life is one big timelessness.

Now, however plausible the relativity theory may be, I am personally not comfortable with it. What I intuitively reject is the presupposition that the future is pre-determined. Secondly, the concept of time travel violates the concept of causality.

And yet, for some reason, the idea of the Hopi living in timelessness fascinates me. I would be happy to live among them.

Who knows, dropping the concept of time may bring about an understanding of time – a temporal paradox that I would love to experience!

All of us have been posed this question some time or the other. And we usually shrug off the question with flippant dismissal. Very few of us are ecstatic or gush about how swell life is. Many of us reply with weary sighs while some of us grimace with ill-concealed pain. What we are talking about here of course is not life in the sense of being alive and breathing, but the quality of life we live.

I often wonder about the quality of life we seek, and can’t help comparing it to food to see whether we have the recipe to make life tick.

Childhood to maturity

For most of us, childhood is when life is most enjoyable. Bereft of responsibility, we are taken care of, sheltered, fed, clothed, educated and kept in good health. All we have to do is savour every wonderful moment to the fullest. Whenever we take ill, all we have to do is lie back and recover. Nothing clutters the brain beyond the events of the day. It is often said that a child is happiest because he or she lives in the present with both mind and body as one unit.

When we are young adults, life begins to bloom as the mind and body are nourished with knowledge and metabolism, peaking to produce perhaps the finest co-ordination between the mental and physical states. Life is one great colourful flourish on the canvass of time. But what happens thereafter?

Youth moves on to maturity and we begin to gain “focus” on our lives and what direction we wish our lives to take. Ambitions and achievements take over from the spirit of adventure. Dedication and devotion to purpose replace daredevilry. Deliberate thought process prevails over impulsive intuition. Career quests overshadow the carefree spirit.

Coping with stress, chaos, work-life imbalances, pressures of the daily grind, people relationships, demanding targets, conflicting goals, aspirations and professional paradigms of an ever-changing world are daunting tasks that sap us mentally and physically! Burnout, suicide and divorce are some of the outcomes of such a life.

Life on a platter

There is no solution unless life resembles a balanced meal. And how is that so? Well, sometimes we assume life to be only that part which takes up most of our time. For the career chasers it is their vertical growth rate in the organisation or in their own business and for the homemaker, it is housework. All this reflects quantity and not quality. But not so with food!

Almost anybody I know has dined out at a restaurant. When choosing where to eat, we invariably look for not just good cuisine, but also the location of the restaurant, the parking service, the air-conditioning, the music, the décor, the ambience, the nature of its current clientele and so on. While all we really do is eat there. But the packaging and the surrounding benefits are so necessary and all so important to us. Then why do we judge life by just the food, or sometimes by just the main course?

Why not package life in a way that even the most miserable meal or career glows in the ambience of hobbies or career offshoots? Whenever I’ve sat down to order a meal, I invariably look for the accompaniments, and often enough it is these that decide the success of the meal. I cannot get into my steak, no matter how delicious it looks, without my baked potatoes, spinach and boiled veggies and that pat of golden butter oozing goodness. I know of a fellow who went berserk when he did not receive his pickles with the food. It simply shows that not always is the quality of food or for that matter, life, defined by just the main serving, but often enough, it is the tiny add-ons that really decide the lip smacking goodness of life.

Packaging the zing!

What are these add-ons that put the zing into life? This is for each one of us to find out individually. It can often be an absorbing hobby or sport or music or any parallel line of activity that brings in tangible fulfilment. Sometimes physical evidence of effort ploughed in, does not reflect as much as we desire, in our basic square meal in life. So we choose to bring in activities of our own, which meet this need.

I often offset my reverses or lack of results at work by creating my own successes, unto myself, if not to anybody else, through penning my thoughts and experiences into tangible form, either in prose or poetry. Energizing yourself becomes necessary to sustain the quality of living in the main life zones, usually career and family life. Somehow, if we were as fussy about the add-ons to our lives as we are in choosing the toppings for our pizza, life could become one big delight.

Not all of us are fortunate enough to choose a line of work or career that dovetails comfortably with our skills or education or interest. But aren’t we often told at the restaurant that the very item we wish to savour is not on the menu of the day? Do we leave the restaurant and seek another one where we find what we want, even if it takes all night? The chances are, we don’t and instead settle for the next best or whatever else is available.

We can make the best of the situation by either being open to the new experience of what gets served in our plate, or disguising what we have with a whole lot of sauces and condiments, hoping to reconstruct something totally new. Isn’t life often frighteningly like that?

If we could only pause to listen to the winds of fresh thought whispering through our minds, we would certainly have cause for celebrating the true quality of life!

I have observed people from all fields across cultures, genders and education levels. The lag does exist, only the degree varies. It can be wide or narrow but I have not been fortunate enough to meet people whose talk and walk are without a lag.

People harbour two different personalities – one for walking and one for talking. I am no exception. But I am acutely aware of the incongruence. Here I expose the “oxymoronic me”:

1. I feel bad when  somebody demands bribe from me for getting things done but when I have a waitlisted train ticket I don’t mind paying bribe to have a confirmed ticket.
2. I don’t accept expensive gifts from my vendors but I maintain good relationships with my business associates by buying gifts for them.
3. As per the code of conduct, any money given, if receipted, is not corruption. Following this norm, I only comply with an accounting procedure. The official receipt is only a camouflage for the real intent.
4. I hate people who don’t confront tough issues. When I don’t want to confront an issue, I don’t take a telephone call and pretend to be in a meeting.
5. I say ‘yes’ when I don’t have the courage to say ‘no’ either because the person concerned is superior to me or I need to buy some time.
6. I am a celibate in the physical sense but highly lecherous at the mental level.
7. I criticise the government for their lack of meaningful policies for the growth of the country but I don’t even cast my vote at election time.
8. I am all for the strengthening of the Indian rupee but when the Indian rupee strengthened, I felt bad because the dollars I had earned during my trip abroad got devalued.
9. A value preacher smuggled a laptop when the import duty used to be 300%. The excuse was that such heavy taxation was unfair.
10. The height of being oxymoronic is that sometimes I am ok being oxymoronic and sometimes I feel bad about it.

My life began in Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry. I was given a book by The Mother of the ashram when I was sixteen. I read it but the words and the word pictures didn‚Äôt convey much to me at that age. The words were understood but not their implication. One sentence however stood out: “Then you will see that the world is standing upside down.”

Of course I could see that every one was on their legs quite upright. Then what was She saying? That sentence has always been at the back of my mind. Gradually as life unfolded, I could see that people were lying left, right and centre, very often for no reason. I wondered if this was what Mother meant.

Then I realised that people were maintaining a facade. They wished to be seen as honest, hardworking, sincere, capable, etc., while in their hearts they were looking for shortcuts, were totally insincere and insecure about themselves as they knew well that the qualities they were expecting others to see in them were not there. They knew well that they were living a charade but simply did not have the guts to live otherwise. What an upside-down way to live!

My own experience of life is that we are most of the time playing chess within our lives for no reason. For example when I was 10 or so, some boys wanted to steal mangoes. In the very first try we got caught. I decided then and there that there was no value in this cat-and-mouse game. The next time I wanted a mango, I just went and asked the owner and he gave me one!

Similarly, I see people fibbing on the telephone. The cell phone has made this even more imperative. First I see that everyone wants to be connected but when they do get a call, specially from somebody they do not want to talk to, they play games such as saying they are in the traffic, or make funny noises and shut the phone off or just keep on saying hullo many times as if they are not getting any signal from the other party. I often wonder why people complicate their lives so much.

It makes me laugh when I see people running after the opposite sex with all the guile and means at their disposal; then considering themselves lucky to have gotten their prize only to realise later that it was no happy-ever-after deal at all. But they go through the motions of reiterating their love and getting married even though they are totally unhappy with their lot. There may be exceptions but this is more or less true.

The same can be seen in the jobs they hold. They are proud to be what they are or at least they make a show of it even though they know very well they are just a cog in a big wheel, totally replaceable. Look at the possessions they have, they collect and collect goods around them and soon tire of them or want something better but in company or even to themselves would be loath to admit that they are not entirely happy with their lot.

The hollowness of our lives shows very clearly in our collection of acquaintances and the friends we make. Life’s needs and social necessities force us to behave totally contrary to our nature. The show of camaraderie is faked and tiresome but we go along because we dare not otherwise.

If this is not living upside down, then what is? I guess that deep down we are never happy with all this waste of emotional energy and time in keeping up appearances.

Pradeep Maheshwari is a Delhi-based author, personal growth frainer and marketing consultant.

Integrating this awareness into your daily life is to develop the bipolar vision. Looking at the opposites together does not mean that the truth lies somewhere in-between but that both extremes are equally true depending on the context.
Developing the bipolar vision is to recognize that there are no neat, clear-cut, easy answers in life. Here are some everyday paradoxes. Enjoy them!

1. I am a dynamic go-getter pursuing my goals with full force. At the same time, I am fully contented and happy with the way things are.
2. I am an insignificant creature in this huge universe. At the same time, I am the centre of the universe.
3. I am the wave. At the same time, I am the ocean.
4. I am equally comfortable being a prince and a pauper. I enjoy my possessions and when I lose them, I don’t feel sorry at all.
5. If I get the job, it’s fine. If I don’t, it is fine too.
6. If the train arrives on time, it’s fine. If it doesn’t, it is fine too.
7. Nothing is random and arbitrary. Nor is it fixed and predetermined.
8. While it’s important to have self-confidence, it’s equally important to have self-doubt.
9. Life is tough. It’s a breeze too.
10. While discipline is important for growth, too much discipline can kill my creativity.
11. When I add condiments to a dish, the taste improves. But if I overdo it, the taste deteriorates.
12. When I sharpen a knife too much, it becomes blunt.
13. Finally, the unipolar vision is one kind of vision and the bipolar vision is another kind of vision. Both are okay.

In his book, Getting Engaged: The New Workplace Loyalty, author Tim Rutledge explains that truly engaged employees are attracted to, and inspired by, their work (“I want to do this”), committed (“I am dedicated to the success of what I am doing”), and fascinated (“I love what I am doing”).

Employees who have these essential traits within themselves, become the brand ambassadors of the company and make it an Employer of choice.

Different studies have been made inside and outside companies to know about the attachment/engagement of employees with the company and the results are like high current waves in a sea, which can lead to disaster.
Results show that only 29% of employees are actively engaged in their jobs. These employees work with passion and feel a profound connection to their company. People that are actively engaged help move the organization forward. 84% of highly engaged employees believe they can positively impact quality of their organization’s products, compared with only 31% of the disengaged. 72% of highly engaged employees believe they can positively affect customer service, versus 27% of the disengaged. 68% of highly engaged employees believe they can positively impact costs in their job or unit, compared with just 19% of the disengaged. Engaged employees feel a strong emotional bond to the organization that employs them. This is associated with people demonstrating willingness to recommend the organization to others and commit time and effort to help the organization succeed. It suggests that people are motivated by intrinsic factors (e.g. personal growth, working to a common purpose, being part of a larger process) rather than simply focusing on extrinsic factors (e.g., pay/reward). [Ref: Blessing White (April 2008). 2008 Employee Engagement Report].

Advantages of engaged employees
•    Engaged employees are of mindset to stay with the company, and contribute to the bottom line of the business.
•    Usually they execute better and have smiles on their faces.
•    There is a significant link between employee engagement and fostering environment for creativity for sustained profitability.
•    It builds passion, commitment and alignment with the organization’s strategies and goals.
•    Increases employees’ trust in the organization and creates a sense of loyalty in a competitive environment.
•    Provides a high-energy working environment.
•    Makes the employees effective brand ambassadors for the company.
It shows how imperative is employee engagement for sustainable growth of the organization, especially in today’s aggressive scenario, where attrition rate is getting high.

Key drivers for engagement
Employees have different thought processes which drive them towards getting involved with the company. Here are some key drivers.
•    The importance they have in the company in terms of policy making, decision making etc
•    Their career matrix, along with the challenges of work
•    The monetary aspects/benefits
•    Other factors like health, safety, security
•    How open are they to put up their points in front of management
•    How happy they feel when they come to their respective offices
•    Reward and recognition program
•    Effective leadership; leadership by example
•    Motivation towards work, by means of mentors, coworkers
•    An assertive feedback of their work and clarity of responsibilities

Practices for engaging employees
1.    Meetings: Meetings are the best way to know about the gamut of the company we are working into. These days Intranet also helps a lot to break the ice. The more employees know their company, the more they feel involved. It has also been observed that sometimes, employees spend a good amount of time on the intranet and are taking things forward. Employers can set their default home page as their company’s portal, and see the difference it makes. In the same manner, in-house magazine also works. Inviting employees to write their own viewpoint make them feel involved with the company.
2.    Skill update: Technical trainings/soft skills trainings/certification programs/higher studies always make employees feel prouder of the company they are working with. In today’s competitive world, the skill enhancement is the only way to survive happily. That’s why when companies take care of their employees upgradation, employees also feel engaged.
3.    Reward and recognition: Another way for connecting employees and to bring a smile on their faces. On-the spot appreciation, which can be for anything advantageous for the work place or for the entire company, or the recognition award given at some very special day for the stupendous performance or contribution, are some of the ways which also add in to the value of employee-engagement.
4.    Developing organization culture: These days companies are doing a lot of brain storming for developing their culture. Celebrating events is one of the ways to do so.

“The ‘boss’ is an illusion and like all illusions its strength depends on the perceiver’s mind,” wisdom poured like a fountain. So, what was he suggesting, if the three of us practiced concentration hard enough our pot-bellied, tyrannical, gold-toothed corporate master could be…whooosh!!!?? “Of course, there are no magic wands,” (Oh my God, the guy was a mind reader!) “but if you try hard enough and long enough you can be free of the bossiness of others if not get rid of the boss figure.” I wonder if he noted the frowns and sighs that went round the room. “There is no great secret behind this Рonly the simple understanding of the web.”  The web? www…the answer to all ills? Don’t tell me this was going to be a combined form of advaita philosophy and matrix maya churned together by some glib talker who never worked under pressure or had to fend for a family? “What web?” someone burst forth. I wasn’t the only one listening!

“The web of life – the reality of our being connected. Life is not a vertical or linear arrangement, it’s more like a mass of wires connected. While it’s not possible to always reach each wire centre directly there is always a connection.” That was a good idea Рprovoke the boss’s wife-wire, or kidnap… after all, those connections would produce fairly direct results. “But remember, if you snap or cut a wire, the entire system is affected.” What a mind reader! Or may be it’s just obvious, that’s what most – all(?) bossed-upon employees want to do!

“You have to work towards finding the mass of wires that meet at an interval and try to produce an effect there.” So networking was the key, right? “Sometimes a good hard shake-up gets a dysfunctional interval to start again.” Ah revolution! So, that’s what he’s been talking about all along. I always knew revolution was the answer when came to some bosses at least.
“…Or an exchange of wires sometimes can work….”
What does it all mean? Not in woolly, abstract terms but for real-life people like us with deadlines and performance pay?

“…which just means that you’ve got to make the person see from your and other points of view, whether the person is your boss or your servant. Perception is all.” Easier said than done, my boss was severally myopic – literally and metaphorically. He hid and remedied one type of myopia by wearing contacts, but what is the answer to the myopia of the mind? How to make him see? “Begin by what the person does understand and is sensitive to and then take him to that he yet doesn’t fully comprehend.”

“Oh yeah! Like start from profit and take him to more profit! And if you really want him to see anything besides – forget beyond profit or his ego, it will take ages, I’d probably leave this job and move on by the time that happens, if it happens at all. Who cares about his transformation then?!”

“Transformation requires patience and knowledge or wisdom. First, the knowledge of the right ‘wires’ (read, string pulling!) and secondly, the knowledge to let go and wait patiently for the signal to reach the right point. But remember, sometimes, you just can’t pass electric current through a fused wire. It will take time and perhaps more than one stuck signal for the web to take out and make new the fused wire or even replace it.”

Fused wire? …Replace it?…I couldn‚Äôt quite make out whether he was talking about death and resurrection, or sending someone to a really transforming workshop, or simply saying that hang on there till more people push and he‚Äôs forced to quit, may be even fired. My devilish serpent tongue was licking my lips. Anyway, I still guess it would take some serious time for his bosses to realize that he‚Äôs fake‚Ķ. And what if it did happen? He may be replaced by yet another wired up character rather than a live wire one. That‚Äôs being back to square one ‚Äì with a different boss.

I wonder if he thought the same way about his bosses, and they about their respective bosses…where would this lead to? God?…or back to the web of which we are all an integral part? The notion of hierarchy leads to the ultimate boss РGod, and he’s NEVER directly accessible! You don’t even know whether his representatives are really his representatives, may be they are just pretending or worse, are self-deluded. If God isn’t the answer that leads us back to the web and the onus is on us, and a lot of wire work needs to be done. While you are at it, do the work as best as you can, make the right noise in right places, if possible in the right way and wait…and wait…and wait…and if nothing happens Рsip green tea – it’s good for the heart!

Harvinder Kaur is an educator and a writer, currently heading an international school in Mumbai.

There is a tendency to criticize the two brothers for their inability to work together. The general perception is that they were not being good brothers and they did injustice to their deceased father who had built the industrial conglomerate from scratch.

But that is only a conditioned response.

Both Mukesh and Anil are highly individualistic and creative persons. Since they did not share great vibes, they could not probably give full vent to their creativity when they worked together.

After the split, both are doing things their own way. They are more deeply involved with what they do. Now they are free to use their creative potential to the full. They are at liberty to do what they want.

Earlier, there was one centre of growth. Now there are two. Since both of them want to do better than the other, they are sure to grow at a pace faster than it would have been possible if they had held together.

By going their separate ways, they have done a world of good to themselves, to each other, to the stake-holders of their companies and to the Indian economy as a whole. United, they would have withered. Divided, they bloom.

When a bad marriage ends, it is time to rejoice!

2009 was an eventful year with its fair share of ups and downs and nothing indicates that 2010 won’t follow suit, if not further test our mettle. As the economic downturn spreads and recession reaches our various shores and businesses, we will certainly feel the heat and the pressure (many of us are already facing it)…but that is how you turn coal into diamond…under extreme heat and pressure.

It’s just a matter of perspective…of seeing the world through a different lens. In the midst of adversity lies opportunity…and I do believe that these difficult times will provide us with great opportunities.
1.    opportunities to learn and grow from our mistakes, from others’ mistakes and from the tough experiences we undergo
2.    opportunities to revisit and rethink our way of being, doing and having – it’s a good time for introspection towards self-development
3.    opportunities to be more disciplined and laser-focused in whatever we do – so that we may achieve our goals and resolutions for the year
4.    opportunities for acknowledgement and gratitude for whatever we are blessed with.
So let us be ready and greedy for opportunities this year! As we prepare ourselves for a turbulent ride this year, my wish to you is to simply enjoy the ride! And in Jan 2011, as you look back on 2010, you will say, yes it was a hell of a roller-coaster ride, there were ups and downs, it was tough, I outgrew it and I enjoyed it!

Welcome back for the ride in 20010! Cheers!

He then told me tales of the astronomical wealth and privileges that this class of aristocrats enjoyed that would put to shame the czars whom the ‘revolution’ overthrew.

The very next day I read this news item in the Indian media on my internet about the Lok Sabha speaker  Somnath Chatterjee refusing to attend a meeting  of the International Parliamentary Union at Geneva. That’s when my computer conked off. I was in ecstasies extolling Chatterjee for deciding not to waste time and tax payers’ money on yet another fruitless talkfest.

‘This guy is a rare guy. We need more politicians like him,’ I told my wife.

‘Why, what happened?” she asked.

‘Wait till you get my computer working,’ I replied.

A minute later my computer expert wife announced that my gadget was fit for operations.

‘Just visit the India Express website and see for yourself what the greatest Bengali after Saurabh Ganguly in the 21st century West Bengal has done.’

She read with avid interest but as she read, her eyes grew red and her looks intense till she burst out in wrath, ‘What the hell is this? Don’t rush to conclusions. Read it yourself.’

She all but threw the computer at me. It was then that I learnt that Chatterjee’s decision had nothing to do with any lofty sentiments but was because of his outrage at the thought that he would be frisked at London Airport! It was then I thought of what my New York cabbie told me Рthe ‘oligarchs’.

But then Chatterjee is a communist and we claim to be a socialist country. So we may not have oligarchs. But with Indian ingenuity we have come up with a new concept – the elected aristocrats!

Our leaders are given many privileges that would make our old Maharajas blush in embarrassment. The privy purses for Maharajas may have been abolished but there is now institutionalized largesse for our netas.

On my last visit to Chennai, I was shocked at the way policeman skewed me out of the Dr. Radhakrishnan Salai onto the dirty sidewalk as the cavalcade of more than a dozen cars escorted the state Chief Minister. Some bushy-moustached, gun-toting men in jeeps appeared to train their AK 47s on me. I felt I was being suspected of being a terrorist.

Even Robert Vadra enjoys rare privileges including exemption from being frisked at airports. Just as Ganshiji is called the father of the nation, maybe Vadra could be officially anointed as the son-in-law of the nation, rashtra damaab in Hindi.

Come to think of it, Somnath Chatterjee is right. How dare a London security man frisk a Lok Sabha Speaker at whose command many an MP shivers in his dhoti and on whose rebuke MPs from Bihar and UP stop rushing to the well of the House and refrain from wrenching microphones and hurling them at other members!

I recollect seeing photographs of Bill Gates being frisked at Congress where he frequently makes an appearance to give testimony on policy issues. But who is Bill Gate compared to our netas? Just a sidelight.

In the grand tradition of Maharajas giving titles of honour to their loyal subjects, an organization in Chennai has recently conferred some interesting titles to three of the Tamil oligarchy.

Karunanidhi has been conferred the ‘Periyar’ award, his son Stalin gets the ‘Karunanidhi’ award and loyalist Minister for Power Veeraswamy the ‘Annadurai’ award! Veeraswamy gushed, ‘This award is better than a Nobel Prize.’ Nothing surpasses this for sheer nobility!

Actually, these do-gooders are like Procrustes, the robber who kidnapped strangers and forced them to fit perfectly into a bed by either cutting off or stretching their legs. Values and laws are like the Procrustean bed. With pre-determined notions of good and bad, right and wrong, many societies are nothing but police networks. If you don’t fit the system, you are locked up in jail.

It was Lao Tzu who pointed out centuries ago that an abundance of laws produce an abundance of thieves. The increase in crime then ensures that policemen and judges get their salaries and perks. Just as laws are responsible for crimes, economists are responsible for the poverty in the world. Then these very economists are needed to alleviate the very same poverty that they created in the first instance.

Similarly, psychiatrists are the main cause of mental disorder among people. Parents who are keen to correct their children only end up passing their own anxiety to them. The children, in turn, display the same anxiety to correct things around them. Writers of self-help books, with their emphasis on methods, have robbed people of their natural instincts. Fairly intelligent people have read themselves stupid without benefiting from self-help literature.

In their zeal to correct people, moralists and self-help teachers are like the monkey who, wanting to save the fish from drowning, offers to carry it up the tree. The fish is perfectly happy being in the water but the monkey forces his own values on it! A moralist is indignant and intolerant and wants goodness to prevail at all costs, mostly at the cost of goodness itself.

But goodness can’t be enforced. When we teach goodness through moral imperatives, we are being harsh. Then we are not teaching goodness but harshness. Goodness after all is a direct outcome of love and compassion. A compassionate person is never indignant. He has no intention to set the world right. He lives his life based on compassion and has a way of touching others and transforming them without even their being aware of it.

It would seem that moralists are as much a threat as criminals. But years of evolution have given us just the right ratio of each type of person we need. It is in the nature of the things that there are just enough moralists and just enough criminals at a given time. So too there are just enough healers and just enough sick, just enough doers and just enough lazy people, just enough creative people and just enough idiots, and so on.

So do-gooders do have their place in society. Which means it’s ok to have laws. But then it’s ok if the criminal breaks them, if the policeman arrests him, if the judge gives him sentence and if the suffering criminal curses the society for its irrational laws.

With that kind of overview we are not likely to get upset at the seeming excesses of either the moralist or the criminally-inclined. The overview can do us a lot more good actually. We will have less of resentment, less of anger. We will not find fault with everything habitually. Why, we might as well develop love and compassion too which the moralist wants to enforce at all costs!

An unknown Taoist said a long time ago: It is true that this society is going to the dogs but the only way to stop it from doing so is not to stop it from doing so! Things always sort themselves out in ways that we can’t even begin to fathom.

Finally, it is ok if some of you do-gooders are indignant at the tone of this piece. It is ok too if I am indignant at your sense of indignation. Cheers!

The greatest evangelists of open markets are now trying to change the rules, again, focusing on their benefits. In the 80’s Regan and Thatcher promoted globally that all countries should open their markets, go for the privatisation of their public companies and services, let financial markets work freely worldwide, and so on.

The argument and the theory was that with more openness the gap between the rich and the poor will be mitigated, that the overall commerce will increment and every one will gain, directly and indirectly.

They had the support from International Monetary Fund and from World Bank to enforce their will. All countries that needed money from IMF were forced to follow the neo-liberalism policy if they wanted to get the money.

And it resulted in the Mexico, Russia, Asian, Argentina and Brazil crises.

Now with “Buy American”, what is exactly the message that they are trying to pass?

Should it be: We were wrong for decades, sorry but our experiment didn’t work in your countries and now, as you will not be able to buy our stuff, we need to protect our markets from your stuff?

Or is it: Well, we are changing the rules again, as we did in the 70’s with the “Nixon Shock”, when the United States unilaterally terminated the convertibility of the dollars to gold?

Or is it: We forgot the recent history and the consequences of closing markets as it happened in the end of the 30’s, when the Hawkey-Smoot Tariff Act increased all taxes of the foreign products and worsened the global crisis?

Or is it a little more profound and they want to re-evaluate the Chaos Theory, and to see if a one sentence “Buy American” may cause a tornado on the other side of the world?

–

Mario is a seasoned manager and entrepreneur with a broad technical background, coupled with multi-cultural experience and multi-lingual skills, co-founded two high tech start-ups, and now is developing a non-profit project to leverage globally the business development of small entrepreneurs.

I happened to meet a friend of mine, a successful banker in California who had migrated from India to the US more than a decade ago. He was talking about violence in India and gave that as one reason for his disappointment with his home country.

Let me use this argument as a starting point of a simple insight into thinking skills.

One of the first lessons in thinking skills is:

• Ask/look for reason.
• Ask/look for logic.
• Ask/look for credible evidence.
• Remember that anecdotes do not constitute evidence.

Take my friend’s lament about murders.

I looked up possible sources of evidence regarding incidence of murders in various countries in the world.  I came across THE MURDER MAP which shows graphically the incidence of that crime in most countries. What did I find?

India’s record is more or less the same as that of the USA! I am not saying that we can be smug about our record. All that I am saying is that once you respect and base your thinking on evidence, figures and logic you will become a better thinker.

In looking at figures there are two other points to be remembered:

• When given a figure always ask ‘Is this big or small, significant or not?’

• This figure has to be analysed in relation to what denominator?

Let us take another common lament: How is it that a country of one billion cannot produce a Wimbledon champion?

Let’s look at this statement in the light of the above guidelines.
This lack of tennis champions is sad but is a billion the appropriate denominator?

What is the base, the bucket, of the number of families that have access to tennis courts?

Is the denominator, the figure of one billion or the number of kids who have tennis playing facilities within access? If you feel as I do that very few families can access such facilities and this ought to be the denominator, it is indeed creditable that we produce some very  good players of the likes of the Krishnans, the Amritrajs, Bhoopathy, Paes, and Sania Mirza.

As for the murder rate in the U.S and in India, how does one measure the rates credibly? In terms of the number of murders per 100000 of population per annum? That’ s how  the Murder Map is constructed .

A Bihar based friend of mine boasted about five years ago that the  Bhojpuri film industry was  the fastest growing film industry in India. To which I replied that in the case of Bhojpuri films ANY GROWTH WILL SEEM ASTRONOMICAL! The reason why I said this? The same old little matter of the denominator—in this case zero base.

When I moved to the city of Washington DC three years ago I was looking at various places to rent an apartment in. I knew that every city in the U.S (maybe all over the world) has parts that are unsafe .I looked at the figures for crimes in each part of the city and made an informed decision to move into the locality where I now stay.
Often we tend to go by hearsay. In most cases we tend to form opinions on the basis  of subjective judgments. These tend to be prejudiced.

I have evidence to prove this!

If all this is obvious the question remains: Why do we miss the obvious?

And, this will remain true as long as human beings exist. Let’s ponder on why we need to play sports.

Humans are nothing but an assembly of different kinds of energies. This includes positive and negative energies. The positive energies are enthusiasm, hope, compassion, joy and any emotion or thought that is constructive in terms of bringing people together for a good purpose. And we cannot live without them even for a moment. The negative energies are the leftovers of our evolution from animal to human. These raw energies include hate, envy, anger, fear or any emotion or thought that divides humans or creates conflict. War is one of the results of this animal instinct or negative energy.

When we fight, attack, defend, run, jump, deceive, catch, hit, throw or anything that is considered aggressive or unacceptable in the civilized world, our negative energies are at work. These characteristics are not needed in the modern world because they are against the grain of civilization. But a channel is needed to divert or convert these negative energies to our advantage. Hence the need for sports.

Let me put across the logic behind this. Where would we find these words appearing as perfectly acceptable? In sports! These are precisely the characteristics needed to be a winner in sports. All these comprise a sports skill set. You do not see this skill set set being appreciated often in your work life, do you? In everyday life, you get punished or ostracized for attacking, hitting, throwing, catching or deceiving. But, you are applauded when this skill set is used in sports.

Now that we have dealt with the origins, let us focus on the merits of sports, The main thing is that any game does is give a level playing field to all — that is, it offers the same playing conditions to all competitors and they have to act on their skills, right there on the field to prove their worth. There are no secret support systems. In this progressively chaotic and corrupt world, sports remain the only tiny islands of equality.

Another thing that it does is to inspire many to great achievements. The legendary cricketer, Kapil Dev who hailed from a small village in Haryana was inspired to aim for excellence by just listening to the radio commentary of the cricket games. And not many know that the first test match that Kapil played was also the first ever international test match he actually saw. Think about the stories of other great sports achievers like Sir Vivian Richards, Tiger Woods or Roberto Baggio and you’ll understand the aspirational power exerted by the lure of sports.

Apart from this, sports are the biggest uniting factor among diverse people in every corner of the world. From soccer to cricket and basketball to golf, there is nothing like a competitive game to draw supporters from every background together with one purpose in mind — to cheer on their team to victory!

And off course, we cannot forget participating in sports is the best way to remain physically fit. The flow of adrenalin also helps to relieve depression and anyone who particiaptes in sports will confirm that is an enormous stress reliever as long as one is not playing in a seriously competitive arena. Sports occupy a very important place in world priorities and for a very good reason. It is definitely a “win-win” situation any way you look at it — as a spectator or a participant.

Everyone should accept this responsibility.

Ever since I moved to India, I have found myself deeply concerned about the extreme levels of pollution around me. The government can do very little or perhaps lacks the vision and perseverance to protect our environment. But Indians using their own initiative, can make a difference! It is now up to every citizen of the country to shoulder some responsibility for protecting the environment.

You can start by reduce your usage of paper, plastics, styrofoam and limit the use of cars, electricity and disposable containers. Reuse plastic bags and containers for as long as possible. Use less water to wash and while taking baths. Try to use containers that are reusable for years and not just months. Each small step will go long way without significantly affecting the quality of your life.

Whenever I visit offices in India I am amazed and amused to see people sitting with suits and ties in an air-conditioned room that is permanently fixed at 18 degrees C. There is no need to waste so much electricity over-cooling offices! Why don’t employees go casual smart on all days except on the occasions when there is a real need to be formally attired. Even dressing ‘formally’ in India is not necessary, and we can dress appropriately without a stuffy and silly suit and tie ensemble that was not designed for our climate anyway. This will help us to conserve electricity because we can cut down on the use of air-conditioning.

The food choices we make also have a profound impact on our lives and environment. From farm to plate, growing food uses enormous amounts of fuel, water and chemicals. By making few small changes in our eating and buying habits, we can help our environment and indirectly we will be helping helping our children and grand children who will be inheriting the earth from us in the years to come.

Consider eating locally produced food and avoid products which come from far away. Eat seasonal food, which is referred to as ‘climate friendly’ food to help cut down the demand for storage and transport refrigeration. By eating beef, we help to create a great deal of pollution because cows produce methane, a potent global warming gas, and the grains typically used to feed cattle consume large quantities of energy and chemicals. Worldwide, the destruction of forests for cattle ranching creates massive amounts of global warming pollution. It is the same for poultry and sea food farms as well.

So, when you shop in your super market, avoid food products that are not grown locally. In the US, most produce is transported an average of 1500 miles before it reaches the consumer. Think about how much refrigeration and transportation pollution that is created to get the food the produce from point A to point B. Buy fresh, buy local and avoid frozen or extensively processed and packaged foods.

Save water by using less for your daily needs. Remember an average of 6000 children die every day, due to water-related diseases and the unavailability of clean water. Many places around the world are going dry due to lack of respect for the natural resources.

The time to act now; it is a chain reaction and every little act of conservation on your part helps in a significant way.

The people in Nuba Mountain in Sudan walk 7.5 hours to fetch water. Imagine that! If there should be a another major world war it might very well be due to the diminishing fresh water supplies around the globe. Think about that the next time you shower for 20 minutes or leave the tap running while you brush your teeth or leave your water sprinkler on all night long. What are you doing to preserve the environment? Think!!!

Marilyn Monroe in the most famous dress ever by William Travilla and Ferragamo stilettos appeared in The Seven Year Itch in 1955. Everlastingly imprinted on the brain is the image of the white halterneck dress above the street grating and Marilyn fighting to control the swirling skirt. In How To Marry A Millionaire who could forget that wonderful fuschia pink strapless dress as men fight to carry her off.

Heartbreakingly beautiful, broodingly sexy, bad boy Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront and A Streetcar Named Desire. He made the T shirt, leather jacket and jeans a male fashion staple as relevant today as in the 50’s.
Yves St Laurent dressed Catherine Deneuve in Belle de Jour and she remained his muse for years. This dress for example is as stylish today as in 1967. Primly proper and elegant of course, the ideal attire for misspent afternoons. Who would have guessed?

In the early 70’s Ralph Lauren was relatively unknown until Robert Redford and Mia Farrow appeared in The Great Gatsby, dressed by him. Ralph Lauren again in Annie Hall, saw Diane Keaton dressed in manly clothes still looking strikingly elegant in 1974. This set off a fashion for women to wear the boyfriend jacket and waistcoats the first time round.

Bonnie and Clyde with Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty set off a trend for 1930’s fashion. Theodore Van Runkles’ costumes and Faye’s wonderful hair made this film fantastically watchable. Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan, wears a highly visible bra and suddenly underwear as outerwear is everywhere in 1984 and still is worn today. Dolce and Gabbana, Gaultier, Vivienne Westwood still produce corsetry in clothing.

Michael Douglas in Wall Street, symbolised that “greed was good” in the 80’s. In red braces and huge stripes, the Yuppie was born and also our love of excess that continued unabashed until recently.

In recent years the massive success of blockbuster Sex in the City (2008), saw women everywhere striving to look like Carrie Bradshaw. Whilst appearing to barely work, Carrie accumulated effortlessly an enormous shoe and designer wardrobe collection. What was her secret? Can we have it please!

Johnnie Depp, who is himself a living fashion icon, starring in Pirates of the Caribbean, initiated another round of pirate fashion. Not since the 1980’s with Adam Ant, has swashbuckling style been so in fashion!
The Devil Wears Prada saw Meryl Streep circa 2006, with stunning grey hair in severely chic and elegant clothes whilst her younger underlings struggled to keep up. This was a serious fashion lady, helped by free clothes and a seemingly endless budget she looked just tremendous.

In Confessions of a Shopaholic, we have Rebecca working hard, earning very little, but still determined to keep up to the minute. As an often inspired shopaholic, a series of eclectic, whimsical, and original outfits ensue.
Bold contrasting colours, leopardskin, tartans, plaids, and chic monochrome outfits abound. Brilliant accessories colour matched such as flowers, gold metal belts, fur boots in pink, show Rebecca is a girl who stands out, is adventurous but at the same time wears high fashion.

In Coco Avant Chanel, a new film about the supremely elegant, achingly chic Coco Chanel is an inspiration to women everywhere. Gabrielle is credited with inventing the little black dress, the sun tan for upper class women, multiple strings of pearls and the eternal Chanel No 5, still one of the world’s top perfumes. The invention of the boxy short classic jacket, tailored dresses and trousers meant women, could for the first time, take men’s tailoring skills and make them their own. This film no doubt will stoke Chanel fever all over again.

GabrielleTeare is the Leading London Personal Stylist and Personal Shopper based in the heart of Shopping in Chelsea, London. The agency is currently Alexa ranked No1 Globally for Personal Stylist. As an International Fashion and Style Consultant Gabrielle is a style/editorial consultant for 3 Disney films. http://www.gabrielleteare.com

It is difficult to be a child of the 21st century -  to be a part of the most educated generation of the human race. I’m afraid the people around me are all masters of their own field – educated, more educated, most educated. Everyone knows everything. Alas! They don’t leave room for me to discover anything new.

Their ocean of knowledge is so deep that a new drop of creativity is a strictly forbidden in their already established knowledge of ocean. I still can’t forget my physics teacher’s words when describing Albert Einstein, “You know Einstein left school at a very young age and still he was the greatest scientist of all times. You know why? Because he was passionate.  But this new generation is only passionate about  wasting time”. Yes sir I thought, we are wasting our time studying something for 8 hours in the school every day (which has to be mugged up at the end of the session). Then  we return home from school where we need at least 2-3 hrs to complete our homework. Then we have to assist Mom with chores and then go to sleep to be prepared for another day at school.  Huh! Where’s the time for passion?

I bet if Einstein had wasted so much time everyday he wouldn’t have been so renowned today. Today we all are so caught up in the cobwebs of so called ‘educated’ era that getting out of it seems impossible. Schools are a good example of the irony of this situation. They promise to nurture the special gift of every child  while recognising his/her unique aptitude. They are supposed  to be the temples of learning but  we get caught up in a maze of stale thinking and rigid attitudes. For example, if a particular child is recognised for his/her outstanding academic skills then this wonder child is unofficially appointed as a lifetime examplar. This adulation creates a barrier for other children who want to recognized in the same field but are overlooked because of the teachers’ attitudes and the precedent set by the high achieving student.

But why does his happen?  Probably because a school is made up of  a highly educated faculty  with an entrenched attitude of accomplishment and they are very conservative  about welcoming new talents. I remember how my parents advised me to take a one year break from football. Their reasoning was  that people would be far more interested in my academic accomplishments than in my  prowess on the football field.

Do you see how education has stopped us from being children?  The demands of education  make it almost impossible  to play and enjoy life at a physical level.

Our parents and teachers are forgetting that inspiration to create in the science, business, technology and the arts often come during recreational moments when we are not overloading our brains with force-fed academics and old knowledge.

I think this era of education is back firing us today. The more education we acquire, the less inner  space we leave  for new ideas to germinate. Everything has become too competitive and life is too regimented.  Where is that spontaneous joy of just being human? I think we need a few more people like Galileo to upset the status quo with some radical ideas from out left field.  If by chance another Galileo-type radical  came along  to question today’s value systems, he won’t be hanged to death, but he would certainly have to go through the biggest test of his life. Why? It is because today people are so ‘educated’ they delude themselves into thinking they know it all!  No one is allowed to challenge them.  The moral of the story if formal education is making our human minds so closed up and inflexible, then personally I would prefer to be uneducated.

Bob Dylan’s masterpiece protest song has always among her favourites, even in its many incarnations around the world. This morning the lyrics came quietly to her as she contemplated a snapshot of today’s screaming media headlines: “12 MEXICAN AGENTS TORTURED AND SLAIN; CLASHES KILL DOZENS IN SOMALIA; DEATH TOLL IN CHINA RIOTS RISE TO 192; SUDANESE WOMAN FLOGGED FOR WEARING PANTS.” There were many more but she was too shellshocked to delve much further. It is not that she has not seen similar headlines over the years — it is just that today something in her shut down emotionally. She couldn’t click into the usual mode of assimilating the desperation and repressed rage that ignite these events around the world.

The danse macabre was too much to bear.

For one fleeting minute, her somber appraisal of the human condition led her past the simplistic existentialist explanations and into a contemplation of a larger, cosmic evil as proposed by the Christian and Islamic fundamentalists. Maybe Man is really a puppet being controlled by negative elements through his repressed subconscious mind. For a few minutes it seemed to make sense.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.

She pondered the quotation by the Sufi poet Rumi. Maybe this anguish is karmic retribution being played out in a cosmic game that wasn’t meant to be understood by finite minds? Maybe we are not meant to know the answers or pass judgment on that game — God’s lila — because we are only half-awake in a transient, ever-changing world?

But she did not dwell there very long; her spirit felt violated by the abrasiveness of linear thinking.

She laid down her sword of prose for a while and went into the silence of herself. Today she could find no solace as the self-righteous blogger writing up a storm of protest against man’s inhumanity to man. She couldn’t even muster up the idealism to wax satirical about mankind’s rapid descent into barbarism. Her spirit was tired and she felt hopeless. Maybe the gentle, peace-inspired poet whom she buried years ago in her heart is being reborn to replace of the battle-worn scribe — the voice in the wilderness no one wants to hear anymore.

The realisation finally dawned after years of searching…. very few people really care about this world or welfare of downtrodden and impoverished beings. They are too busy trying to survive themselves or too infatuated with the palliates of self-indulgent sensory pleasures. Today that realisation finally hit home, like a hammer on a tiny, fluttering butterfly.

Now she is all cried out.

Her inner self searches for quiet detachment amidst the rubble of a futile quest for peace and justice for all. There is nothing left to say. She wants to ask a thousand questions starting with “Why….” but there are no answers to be found anywhere — just the angst and hopelessness woven into the age-old drama human beings call life.

Tomorrow she’ll be back on the road again throwing words at the wind. But tonight she is listening to the silence in herself. The silence whispers softly and she is weary.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it’s washed to the sea?
Yes, and how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, and how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind….

Do you still have the newspaper delivered? I do. I like the feel of the paper and the ritual of spreading it out to read while I eat breakfast. On Sunday I take the whole thing apart before I even start my reading. I sort the parts I want to read in their “proper” order and get rid of all the fillers and ads.

Unfortunately my pleasure is slowly being taken away. Today’s paper only had 36 pages (plus the ads). It barely lasts through breakfast. Because of economics, papers are cutting back on their hard copies. They are pushing readers to the internet. They are waving a two edged sword—encouraging people to read the paper online causes the loss of readers for the “real” newspaper. Many of the country’s newspaper publishers have converted to online publication only.

Getting the news without the ritual of the daily newspaper is like the difference between eating and dining. You do get the job done, the fuel for your machine, but where is the pleasure of the slower pace and the feel of the paper.

Life is already moving too fast, I want to hold on to the small pleasure of reading the newspaper with my breakfast in the morning. Is that asking too much?

Starting from the crowded marina and Eliot’s Beach to the less crowded and secluded ones that dot the East Coast Road (or ECR as it is called), I have always found my visits to be a learning and inspiring experience.

Every one of my visits thus far, has revealed new concepts in management and new ways of looking at life.

I am always amazed by the waves continuously beating the land and threatening to envelop it – with occasional success in the form of a tsunami. The unswerving perseverance of the waves is one admirable quality that any manager would wish to have along the obstacle path we call marketing in the world of business.

Sometimes one gets to see catamarans and the fishing trawlers venturing in or out of the sea. The persistence of the men who can outmaneuver the mighty power of the waves and still keep moving forward is another example in perseverance worthy of emulation.

In the crowded sections, one can often see the excited faces of children holding their parents’ hands while standing at the water’s edge waiting for the angry waves to splash and scatter their foamy surf. The trust of the onlooking child who knows that the firm grip of a parent’s hand will keep him securely anchored to the shore during this awesome experience, reminds me of the relationship that should exist between a subordinate and a boss.

And looking at the people taking their walk, oblivious to what is happening around them illustrates that we must be mindful at all times that “our health is our wealth” regardless of what is being demanded of us by others.

Last but not least – the joy of sitting silently at the water’s edge – simply looking at the magnificent ocean with its roaring waves puts us into an introspective mode. A mood that is necessary for objective self-evaluation and re-prioritizing our personal and professional goals.

With my frequent trips to the beach, and the inspiration gleaned, my wife may have justification to begin commenting on my new role as a thinker and philosopher. Move over Socrates here I come!

Yes canyons! There are two similar ones. One in the USA. One in India.
They are located on different longitudes and are almost 16,000 kilometres apart.

Separated by mighty oceans, both are located almost on the same latitudes. Both have been naturally carved out by two mighty rivers and neighbouring winds!

The one in the USA is Colorado’s Grand Canyon. It is a ‘must see’ by any tourist visiting the USA! The one in India has been carved out by the river Krishna! It is very deep and very beautiful with a unique and unparalleled scenic beauty as well.

The main attractions on its shores are the very old and well-respected “Shakti Peeth” called “Srisailam” and an equally famous tiger sanctuary.

Both canyons are located within comfortable driving distance of the two 5th largest cities,
of the respective countries. The one in the USA is within the vicinity of Phoenix.
The one in India is within the vicinity of Hyderabad.

Each has it sown charm with striking similarities.
Each is grander than the other in its own uniqueness.
Each has its own signature value too and common cutting tools: water and wind.

What needs to be noted, is the fact that natural works of wonder such as these two canyons, do bear a stark resemblance to each other although they happen to be separated by thousands of miles from one another.

The rivers responsible for creating them flow on almost the same latitudes.

Now that is no coincidence! The unique gorges carved by the two are hundreds of feet deep!

On visiting both, I am sure you would also question the creator. Like I did. Does the Creator love to replicate too? Replicate – using powerful tools like water and wind. Over long, long durations of time? To carve and create awesome natural wonders, such as these two awesome canyons?

If so….. why?

South Africa: Circa 1893.
Scene: Railway platform Pietermaritzburg railway station.

A train is halted unceremoniously, by the then white majority, and a two legged Indian, “black dog” all suited and booted like an Englishman, was unceremoniously thrown out, onto the platform as he was traveling in the first class.
Traveling on business, from Durban to Johannesburg, as an educated, qualified lawyer, who was then, the first so-called “coloured” lawyer admitted to the Supreme Court.
Traveling with a valid a ticket.
As he was then recognized to be as good as a two legged “Black Dog” thanks to the colour of his skin! It was not white, like the other fellow travelers’ was.
Therefore, he qualified to be shoved and thrown out. And he was!

There he was lying, on the platform.
A human being, with his pride hurt to the hilt.
Prejudice towards his skin colour had showed him this day.
He resolved here, that he would put an end to this evil.
He did so.
Through sheer grit and determination, in times to come.

South Africa Circa: 2009.
Day one. April 18.
Scene:Inaugural Match of IPL: Mumbai Indians versus Chennai Kings.

The match has begun.
Sachin Tendukar, an Indian, recognized and respected by the world as an all time great player, is in full form and flow, and in command of the situation as well.
He is also the Captain of the Mumbai Indians.
Runs are flowing from his bat, despite his age.
The T20 format is ideally suited for the younger players it is said.
He is proving that myth wrong!

Suddenly, the game gets held up; as a four legged “Black Dog” enters the field and holds up the play, for a good 10 minutes!

A game that is being aired all over the globe, with millions of viewers glued to their TV sets, comes to a grinding halt!
The world sees a real four legged “Black Dog” holding up the proceedings.
Efforts are underway quickly to get rid of the “Black Dog”!
Committees designed by organizers for such exigencies, get into the act!

The dog is neither lassoed nor is it thrown out!
All efforts fail.
Patience is not lost.
TV Cameras continue to record and report.

Finally, the “four legged black dog” is respectfully removed from the scene by a white Lady.
Using the lure of a cookie.

Not a hair of that genuine “Black Dog” was ruffled in the bargain.
It was lovingly and caringly, removed, by a white human being, in a dignified manner.
The commentator too ironically remarked, ‘removed through the VIP stands’ exit!’

Wow! What a change!
All of us as humans, witnessed and enjoyed that change as it happened.
In these past 100 plus years change has indeed, happened.
Happened for the good: to the whole world.

Apartheid has melted away completely.
How many of us remembered MKG in those tense 10 minutes?
In this light?

The respect that the dog commanded, made my mind rush back to the events, sited above.
As a comparative of life then, and life now!

Come to think of it:
The commentator himself used the word “lassie” and never uttered the words “dog” or a “black dog.”

The dog in question, indeed, had its day!
A field day, on a billion dollar field.
It never bought a ticket for this field day, and it was not thrown out!

Thanks to the humbleness of MKG. Mohan Das Karamchand Gandhi.
The Father of the Nation.
India.
India:The owner of IPL.
IPL as an event.
An event that has millions glued to the TV all over the world, and billions of dollars being churned too, in the bargain.
Not to forget the joy that cricket, as it is, brings, to one and all!
Globally.

Cricket is indeed a modern religion that binds one and all.
It also encompasses kindness towards other creatures, as was well demonstrated by this one well viewed incident.
It remains a gentleman’s game!

All said and done: One fact gets established for sure, now that we have all seen the incident happen.

But for MKG; the four legged “black dog” would have been gagged and thrown out of the stadium, if not shot!

Under the full glare of TV cameras.

The first thing is to keep cool when things mess up. Getting agitated or panicky during a crisis isn’t gonna solve anything! Keep in mind that chances are, the situation that you are facing has happened to someone else. Can you imagine if each time you visited a doctor he got all panicky? He doesn’t because he has seen many cases, thus he remains calm and collected. The patient on the otherhand frets and worries, thinking their ailment is the most serious and unique. So if you want to solve any family problems or conflicts, the most important thing is remain cool.

The second most important rule is to strengthen your team. When we say strengthen your team, we don’t literally mean to go out there and increase your family size! What we mean is to make sure that you and your partner are in cahoots with each other on your child raising and discipline philosophies. Spend time talking to each other about important issues like rules and discipline.

It is also very important to discipline consistently. At the end of a hard day it is so easy to give in to a child that is crying or whining…but that is not consistent. It does not teach them and only makes your job as a parent more difficult. Set limits and rules and always enforce them.

You should also ensure that there is order in your childs lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps, bedtimes and chores. Children need schedules and structure in order to feel in control of the world around them. If you have to change the schedule, respect them by telling them about the changes ahead of time.

Also be sure to be a good role model. No matter how much you resist being a role model to your children, you can’t escape it. All kids take pleasure in imitating their parents, so why not be one consciously and effectively?

In addition to that, you should take an interest in their hobbies. Do things together, like reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. Bad behavior is usually their way of getting your attention.

In the midst of everything else, remember to teach them to stand on their own. Let your child make simple decisions and gently remind them to stand on the decisions that they made. Guide them when they are deciding, tell them the pros and cons of their posible decision. But what ever their decision is, just respect it.

Be sure to also listen to your child. As parents, we sometimes are quick to judge our child’s actions or choice of words, that we do not hear their cries for love, attention, or help. We should listen to their feelings, reactions, and opinions. Try to understand their point of view. Look at them when they are talking to show that you are hearing their every word. Put down that book, turn off that television, stop what you are doing and listen!

And finally, practice detachment. The role of a parent is that of a gardener. You don’t create the seed, nor the soil. The potential is already in the seed, you just have to ensure the right conditions for growth. You can loosen the soil a little, so that it may come out easily. Put a fence around it, see that it is not killed by anything, But you can’t control the outcome of the seed.

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This article has been contributed by our friends at The Asian Parent. Visit them for more articles and resources on parenting at www.theasianparent.com.

Vineet Tandon is an aspiring author, marketing communication specialist and works with Oracle India. Contact him at vineet.tandon@gmail.com.

The Collins Dictionary defines ethics as moral beliefs and rules about right and wrong. An ethic of a particular kind is an idea or moral belief that influences the behaviour, attitudes, and philosophy of a group of people. Webster Dictionary defines ethics as a discipline that deals with what is good and bad and with moral duty and obligation, or as the principles of conduct governing an individual or a group. Larrouse, a French Dictionary, defines ethics as a part of philosophy that focuses on the fundamentals of moral, or as the set of moral principles that are the base of conduct of anyone.

What induce more noise in international negotiations are the cultural aspects, which are misunderstood and confused with ethical differences.

The cultural aspects that need to be highlighted are: the protocol, the religion, the use of colours and their meaning, the corporal language, meal customs and gifts.

There is, also, another perspective about different cultures, which is from Geert Hofstede, and analyses cultural dimensions. They are: Power Distance Index, Individualism, Masculinity, Uncertainty Avoidance Index and Long Term Orientation. One possible use of his method is in International Businesses. The score of many countries is available on his web site.

Business is business and ethics are ethics. The grey area that many people try to develop, to be used as excuse to fail or to allow, or endorse, unacceptable ethical situations must not exist.

When a reporter asked Peter Drucker what he would teach in a lecture about ethics, he answered that it would be the shortest one in the world. He would just say: “If you can’t look yourself in the mirror for something you’re about to do, don’t do it.”

Ethics is about morality and not bringing damage to anyone, to the business, environment, colleague, partner, neighbour, friend, and so on.

A common idea that I read about a lot is that bribery is expected and usual in some countries. Bribery is wrong in any place of the world. It is difficult for me to believe that there are some people, serious people that endorse that practice and say that it is natural in some places.

For bribery to exist, we need to have at least two actors, the one that “donates” and the receiver. The powerful offer advantages, gifts and bribe to have their interests attended quickly, and that process in some world regions becomes more usual. It is easier to buy the guy than to explain what one wants.

In 1999, a diplomat from a developed country said, in an emerging country: “Who has the money makes the orders.” I think that I don’t need to make more comments about how bribery has expanded in some regions.

Then it is said that each country makes or interprets their business ethical standards. I believe that it is, also, not true. Each country has a level of “corruption contamination” that should be the reference. Corruption is not only a characteristic of poor countries. We find it also in developed countries, and frequently.

So, ethics is one thing, business rules and cultural aspects are another. How to deal with cultural aspects depends on the study and interest of each one that wants to develop international business.
 
To kill, to steal and to harm others aren’t morally acceptable behaviours in any place in the world. Business rules are made by the human beings and followed in a moral or immoral way, as their conscience and education says.

His bent fists are waving by his handsome but usually contorted face. His head is cocked upward, like he’s talking to the tops of the trees – like he can see something up there that no one else can.

At first, his yelping was a bit disturbing. I’ve had guests over when Jerry goes hollering by and they look alarmed and rush to the window.

Jerry makes me sad because I want Jerry to be able to shop by himself for peppers and brown rice and cook dinner for friends. I want him to fall in love and ride a motorcycle. I’d love for Jerry to be able to hold a pen and sign a cheque. But he can’t. Not this lifetime.

My growing affection for Jerry reminded me of a comment my mother made to me when I was a little girl. We saw a very gnarled man in a wheel chair, painstakingly making his way across the street. My mom noticed the look of angst and awe on my little face. “Strong soul,” she said. “People like that have souls that can take it.”

And while it didn’t take away the heart ache, it bolstered it with respect, instead of righteous pity. People with heavy crosses to bear are stronger than me. I have no cross, only ideals.

I’ve come to look forward to Jerry’s afternoon strolls. I love that he’s loud and out of place. I love that he takes his voice to a place that I never go. To the tops of the trees. And I’m sure that Jerry, strong soul that he is, sees all sorts of things that I do not.

This much awaited spring is a time of fulfillment. There is something sacred about this energy. Heavens are poised to inject their magnificence into our land. New sprouting leaves and grasses (which are yet to raise their heads) upraise every local heart. This magic touch of nature is literally poised to sweep out any dross and odd bits of morose energy from every heart. The vitality of spring has that power. It is indeed a time of great uplift! We are now emerging from a winter cycle of suspension of growth into evolution! Yes, we are almost there! It is time for movement, change, growth, and newness.

The energy of spring influences people in a very profound way. Though Ladakhis are always a very friendly people, I see that their smiles have broadened. Long dark winters, with short days, and hardly any sunlight do take their toll on people. As they say, sun not only gives us heat and light, it also affects our moods. But all that is past now.  Just as a seed pushes aside the dirt and stones to come into light, it is time for us to pick ourselves up, dust off all the lethargy and celebrate our growth. The beginning of spring is a great time for renewal of energies. It is time to clear away heavy energies built around us and become light at heart. The sun is definitely brighter and stronger now, urging us to shine in all our magnificence!!

We can use spring as a beautiful metaphor for human life. When life seems at its worst, with no visible hope, spring tells us to know beyond any doubt that just beneath the surface of our dark reality lies an abundance of vibrant shoots, just biding their time and raring to push their way up: to sprout, flourish, and blossom; provided we let them do so.

Unfortunately many amongst us block our growth through negative feelings and emotions. Toxic ingredients like fear, worry, and stress don’t let spring come into our lives. If only we can cultivate faith, optimism and joy; we will grow in all our glory. It is time to think about that!

As I go out for my walks, I observe profound changes. Life in all its Divine abundance and diversity is awakening from the slumber of winter. It reminds me of my own awakening from deep sleep. As the earth is getting charged by the energy of the sun, I feel a new energy sending a tingle down my spine. As nature readies itself to pursue a new cycle, I gain understanding of eternal cycle of life. Spring embodies new beginnings and new hope. For me it is a ‘new’ expression of Divine love which was present during the long, cold, dark and dreary nights of winter as well. Life existed even then, but it existed as a potential. The way it exists in all of us; a potential waiting to be realized. In some of us it is not apparent but it is there all the same. Nature is never partial to just some of its components. It gives us equal opportunity for greater aspirations and inner movements. The sun shines forth on all new beginnings!!

I feel so fortunate to be soaking in nature unspoilt by human hands. I feel my consciousness merging with the glorious energies around me, and I realize that spring is a part of me. The light is shining ever brighter inside me. When I sit down to meditate on the river bank (right outside my house), I get the feeling that spring is not just an outer event. It’s ‘we’ (yes, that includes all of us, including you), who are about to happen. It is ‘we’ we are waiting for. We are on the very cusp of discovering ourselves. We are too modest to admit it. For far too long we have covered our magnificence under a blanket of snow (so to speak). We are too used to looking outside of us in awe and wonderment. The spring is asking us to look at our own worthy selves. We are pregnant with promise. We are full of vitality. We wear auras of many colours, and we have the power which is one with ALL THAT IS, including the spring!

Yes, there’s spring in the air and hope in the heart! What more could one ask for?????

As usual, it was one of those wonderful late evenings with the family and we were all glued to Barclays Premier League match between Manchester United and Liverpool. My wife served me a glass of lassi and after having the same, I requested my daughter to leave the empty glass in the kitchen sink, as I did not want to take my attention away from the match.

As I instructed my daughter, my wife listened to that and asked my daughter not to leave it in the sink, but just on the cooking table. She also told my daughter that, she may not be able to reach the bottom of the sink, so she may break the glass. My daughter went to the kitchen left the glass and came back to the living room and we continued watching the match.

Then, after sometime I heard the sound of glass being shattered, so, had to rush to the kitchen to see if everything was fine. As my daughter and I were going to the kitchen, my wife shouted at my daughter, ‘Did I not ask you to keep the glass on the table?’

In the next 5 minutes, things settled down to normalcy. But, when I was just analysing the situation, the only thing that came to my mind was ‘gold plating’. My wife assumed that my daughter kept the glass on the table, as she had been instructed and kept a big vessel with water in the sink and that had made the glass break. My daughter wanted to do a good job. As she knew that the glass should anyway be kept in the kitchen sink, she stretched a bit and did that, in spite of being asked not to do so.

Even though my daughter had stretched a bit and completed the task in the way it should be done, the customer (my wife) was not happy because my daughter did not do, what she was asked to do. So, my daughter, who was thinking that she should be appreciated for what she did, eventually ended up being scolded. Are you able to draw parallels to one or more of your customer experiences?

Gold plating is what we call it when the project team does work on the product to add features that the requirements didn’t call for, and that the stakeholder and customer didn’t ask for and don’t need. It’s called “gold plating” because of the tendency a lot of companies have to make a product more expensive by covering it in gold, without actually making any functional changes. (For example, there are plenty of watches and fountain pens you can buy from luxury companies that are identical to their cheaper versions, except that they’re covered in gold.) I shamelessly stole the above definition from Andrew Stellman’s blog.

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Venky is a delivery manager at MindTree Limited, having interests in team building, event management, employee engagement and training. An avid blogger too. “Riding the wave” best describes his approach towards life. Visit his website www.venkyb.com.

What make me develop this article was to contradict the people that suggest the worst scenario for our future.

I will confine my comments to the Brazilian macroeconomic environment. I will also not get into the current stage of development of the business and social environment in Brazil, because to really understand it, one needs to come here, especially to Sao Paulo, to see, feel and negotiate.

With around 20 million people living here, Sao Paulo has one of the most sophisticated gastronomy worldwide, shopping centres, theatres, infrastructure and business centres with the same sophistication as in any top capital of Europe or USA. Obviously, it has also serious problems with security, identical to any large city, New York, London or Paris.

We have global companies like Vale do Rio Doce, a mining company, operating in five continents and with more then 100 thousand employees, we have Embraer that is one of the largest aircraft manufacturers with more than 20 thousand collaborators, and here we can also find almost all of the transnational companies and banks as Santander, HSBC, Citi, J. P. Morgan, UBS, Siemens, Bosch, Mercedes, Mittal, Telefonica, TIM, Telmex, IBM, Microsoft, HP, Dell, Google, Samsung, Motorola, and so on.

Despite the predictions of bad times for developing countries, and before give some important figures about Brazil, I would like to suggest, that before assuming as a truth any opinion or prediction, to check the source of information and if there isn’t any other interest of the writer. Example: If it isn’t connected with any investment fund.

So, the sources of information that I will use are from Brazilian government finance minister and central bank.

Brazil had, from 2004 to 2008, a sustainable average economic growth rate of 5%.

The Public Sector Net Debt is 38% of GDP.

It has around 200 billion dollars in international reserves.

The crisis impact on Brazilian car manufacturers’ production in January 2009, related to January 2008, was -8%, in USA -36%, Japan -19%, Germany -14%, Italy -32%, Mexico -28%.

Brazil is not a very open market so the exportation represents only around 14% of the GDP and the universe of customers are not only in developed countries.

The currency is stable, despite recent events, it sustains its value and the inflation is estimated at level of 4.5% in 2009.

The internal market maintains a good level of consumer confidence and the demand did not diminish to the extent it did in the developed countries. Industrial activity in January 2009 already reflects improvement in some sectors.

The Brazilian Central Bank is still working with a prospective GDP growth rate of 3% in 2009 and the private banking system is working with a 1.5% growth rate.

According to the Basel rules about security assets’ level of the banking system, the suggested level is 11%, in Brazil the average is 14%.

We could continue with more figures, to demonstrate that in Brazil the economic environment is controlled, but the already exposed figures give a perspective of a balanced situation. Obviously the crisis has arrived here, but the shock wave is mitigated and the consequence will be far from dramatic as in developed countries or in economies structured to supply services, commodities or products that don’t have a strong internal market.

For years, unshaved, un-moisturised, grubbiness and such were sexy on a man. We all remember those famous booze or cigarette commercials that we would catch while on holiday in another country. Guy with a 5 o’clock shadow walks into bar, wearing dirty jeans and a leather jacket, moves stealthily to the barman and demands a drink but due to his ruggedness, by some strange equation, he deserves the best drink in the house. As he gulps down the beer and then wipes his mouth on his sleeve, we couldn’t help but crave for him. There was just something about the griminess that made him irresistible.

As we are reaching a decade into the 21st Century, more men are becoming self-conscious which to us women, can either work for us or against us. I mean, walking into a reception with a guy who takes pride in himself and has spent a barrel of cash to make himself look and smell good is certainly a delicious thought. However, this also means, you, my dear woman, are going to be spending time battling with him for bathroom time, slips on Saturdays to the salon and more! But then again, when you look at the final product, standing there with perfectly styled hair, the scent of Hugo Boss’s aftershave surrounding him like a shield, nails trimmed and cleaned…Salivating aren’t you?

TheAsianParent decided to go a little eye-candy hunting (with no complains!) and pick out our favourite famous metrosexual dads!

Nicholas Tse

Nick Tse, Hong Kong’s very own sweetheart, made hearts beat faster when he was single but now being the father of a one-year-old; he is equally as hot with his personal grooming skills beginning to look top notch. Giving most dads not only in Asia but almost globally, a run for their money, Tse is the epitome of hotness!

Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt may be in the middle of his fourth decade but he still sets tongues wagging. A father to 6 young ‘uns, Pitt and his ever changing hair colour keeps women, young and old, at the edge of their seat with the wonderful way he embraces his crisis-less midlife. Still the face of many endorsements, Pitt blends in fatherhood well with up keeping himself. Pitt shows that being metrosexual does not necessarily mean being effeminate but it means loving yourself and taking an interest in your appearance.

Hrithik Roshan

The world sat up and took notice of a bollywood hunk guy frolicking on the beach with the most romantic eyes back around 1999. Hrithik needs no introduction, having a famous father who directs and an uncle who does movie scores. Now a father of two, Hrithik still looks every inch the goodness he did when he first entered the big screen, almost a decade ago.

Keith Urban

The appearance of country music has certainly improved with Keith Urban popping up as the new age metrosexual cowboy. His rugged good looks combined with his own style, gives him the lead in winning over non-country music fans! His signature haircut, the long layered cut, has certainly been the talk of the town for a while now and though it gives him the unkempt look at times, it has certainly been a style that has been followed by men, worldwide!

David Beckham

How could an article on metrosexual dads be complete without the poster boy for the metrosexual guy? We decided to keep him last ‘cause by now you’re probably cursing for not reading his name! Anyway, Becks, famous for having his soccer skills, is probably even more popular for his ability to look good in any hairstyle, clothes – Becks even wore a sarong, at one point, for crying out loud, and still looked better than certain women I’ve seen parading in them. Never one to shy away from anything in the name of fashion, Becks is the essence of metrosexuality! The father of 3 active little boys under the age of 12 and a possessor of a physique that would put any single guy to shame, Becks has and will continue to dominate numero uno on the list for the top metrosexual guys!

The metrosexual guy is a fella who can walk bravely into the make-up department of any shopping centre and ask advice on a new cleanser. He can help to accessorise for his gal-pals while totally feeling secure as he talks to his girlfriend about it. The homosexual manual of looking good has been stolen by the metrosexual and he copies everything while remaining very much a heterosexual.

As gay guys begin to compete with the new urban metrosexual man, we women cannot sit back and relax ether. Ladies! If you’re with a guy who keeps himself up-to-date with fashion, etc. then it’s time you get out there and do something. In a world that is still coming to grips with gay men; spot a guy with black pants, black shirt, a brown belt, hair styled to the nines? You might just be looking at a straight guy who is a father to three moppets who just happens to take extremely good care in his personal grooming!

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This article has been contributed by our friends at The Asian Parent. Visit them for more articles and resources on parenting at www.theasianparent.com.

The ad shows a corporate executive with a sad de-motivated face telling himself, ‘I always wanted to resign on a Monday morning.’  Then it shows a senior corporate executive sitting in a board meeting looking through the window to the rainfall outside telling himself, ‘I always wanted to chase the rain.’ Then a guy telling himself with a surfboat in hand, ‘I always wanted to swim with the whales.’ Then it shows a pregnant woman in a hospital saying, ‘I wanted to take a break for a year and see the world.’

We all, at some point of time in life, have felt this way. At least I have for many years. On every Monday morning I asked myself if this was the life I wanted to live and felt like quitting it all and reclaiming my life.

It’s true that we don’t lead the life we wanted to live. We feel the pinch everyday but we still continue living the same life. Statistics in the USA sometime back showed that almost 50% of all heart attacks between age 25 and 45 happened on a Monday morning. The reason is that we are stuck in work and jobs which we don’t want to do and thus there’s no passion left in life.

I always think of those famous words from a friend’s letter which I’m sure we all have heard it: ‘First I was dying to finish high School and start college and then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work. But then I was dying to retire. And now I’m dying and suddenly I realized I forgot to live.’

Please let that not happen to you and do something to reclaim your life.

There is always that defining moment which can be called the crossroad moment when you decide to reclaim your life. It happened with me one day when I went for a life-enhancing course. As part of the process, I went for a nature walk. I suddenly saw beauty of the sunset and realized I was missing out on life and the beauty of this world. There and then I decided to reclaim my life back. Today I’m not living someone else’s dream but I can proudly say to a very large extend I’m leading a life of my dream though it’s a long journey.

But do you want to wait for that crossroad moment to reclaim your life. NO – seize the moment now. Please don’t be a passenger in this journey called life, drive your own life – live life!

Have no regrets in life

You ask any person who’s a success and living life of their dream. At some point they had to take a decision to move towards something they wanted in spite of the fear. You will never regret taking risks in life. If there is no risk there is no success. Last week I was reading a recent post of Robin Sharma in his blog where he said the last question before your death is always ‘Who did I become?’ Let that last moment not be a regret for having become what I never wanted to become.
                                                                            
Enjoy living in the present moment

Even if you are on your path and following your calling in life you should always live in the present moment. You should judge your life less and enjoy it more. All wise people see life as a great gift and don’t waste it on trivialities.

I remember knowing a person a retired brigadier who was living a life as a community teacher and whenever I used to ask him how was he, he used to say, ‘I’m here.’ It basically meant I’m grateful to be alive and acknowledge this gift.

Be honest to yourself

In life, be true to your self and live with intention. Even if you have found your true calling in life you need to live with intention to consistently and regularly ask three critical life questions:

Am I following my calling in life?
Am I being true to myself?
Am I being the person I want to be in life?

The late Michael Landon, movie star and great humanitarian, once said:

‘Somebody should tell us right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every single day. Do it, I say! Whatever you want to do – do it now! Carpe diem. Seize the day! And expect miracles, because you are one.’

Thus I’ll again say, reclaim your life everyday and enjoy this miracle called life.

Here is the experiment.

Find out the odd one out in the following:
A cow, a stack of hay and a pig.

Most people point out that the pig is the odd one.

Westerners tend to point out the stack of hay instead. Why this difference?

Americans tend to be analytical and seek to fit things into slots and classifications. Thus the cow and the pig are animals while the hay is not. Hence the hay is the odd one out.

Indians as well as other Asians tend to see relationships and then find a relationship between the cow and the hay which it eats. Hence the pig is the odd one.

In another experiment it was found that when shown a picture westerners tend to focus on the item that is prominently seen while Asians tend to see much more of the background.

Thus it may be said with some exaggeration that Asians tend to see holistically.

However these findings need to be further researched. I have observed that Indians are not really thinking contextually especially in matters that involve some degree of emotion or where there is some ignorance or arrogance. In such instances I notice that many of us think that what I do not know may not be important. Alternately what I see is the whole situation. Also what is good for me ought to be good for others. 

Take for example the annual India International Film Awards. Notice that this seeks to acknowledge Indian films. This event has been held for some years now in various locales all over the world. Amitabh Bachchan is the brand ambassador.

I have written letters in the media pointing out one serious error in these awards. Not once in all these years has cinema other than Bollywood been even considered for recognition.

This is an instance of what I do not know (cinema other than Bollywood) is not worth knowing. This is arrogance and insensitivity. Surely we need to either call it the Bollywood International Film awards or acknowledge the other cinemas in India.

Contextual thinking is an art that needs to be deliberately cultivated. This calls for empathy that is somewhat rare.

I help trainees to try and see any event, phenomenon, behaviour in CONTEXT. This yields rich perspectives.

On one occasion a friend remarked that he found it silly and absurd that some communities in south India actually seem to celebrate with dance and song the death of a loved one. This he felt was contrary to the norm.

I challenged him to try and seek a paradigm shift in thinking – this after all was the hallmark of creative thinking.

Let us see how we can not only challenge our own thinking but can also try contextual thinking.

The caste groups that ‘celebrate’ death are among the poorest of the poor in India – scavengers and those who carry night soil for example. For such people death is in fact a deliverance from a horrifying life—hence a celebration is called for. This is contextual thinking.

Secondly who are we to lay down norms and call any other behaviour as contrary? I remember a scene in the film Madhumati in which the hero Dilip Kumar is shown walking past a tree in a forest when he notices Johnny Walker hanging upside down from a tree. When asked why he was upside down Johnny Walker remarks ‘As far as I am concerned you are upside down.’

Thus it is we who feel that one ‘ought’ to grieve when someone dies. The castes referred to may well reply as Johnny Walker did ‘How is it that you guys cry when someone dies?”

My friend Jean found it strange that Hindus wear white apparel when in mourning. She suggested that white dress was the ‘right’ colour for a wedding—this being the practice in her community of Catholics. Surely being normative has its hazards—you may put off people.

I believe the time has come for all of us to try and understand ‘others’, their thinking, lifestyles, their beliefs and their world view in the light of contextual thinking.

Perspectives can vary enormously. My friend Kavita narrates an interesting experience she had in Oakland in California. Kavita happened to befriend a girl – an Afghan – who was working in a small shop. They got talking.  At one stage Kavita asked her Afghan friend how she found life in Oakland. The reply almost shocked Kavita:

‘Oh, Oakland is a happening place—like Lahore and some cities in Afghanistan!’

Many of you are worried about our present development and progress and sceptic about the so-called progress. But, have you ever compared the conscious state of the present man and any man from the history? You will be surprised that it is the reference only which has changed though we, as humans, are facing similar world at the level of consciousness that our ancestors experienced.

I am trying to give a glimpse of the human conscious state. Read it and decide where we stand today:

1- As soon we become conscious we find ourselves surrounded by an environment.
2- There are things which we like; there are things which we do not like.
3- We try to grow and develop what we like and need; and eradicate what is not favourable.
4- We need to work mentally and physically for survival and growth.
5- We have an inner search as well as outer search.
6- The surrounding world has many problems; some given, some caused – we need to face all.
7- We have pain; we have joy, both physical and mental.
8- Life seems to be sometimes blessing; sometimes a curse.
9- Life seems to be sometime chosen; sometime imposed.
10-  We have some fulfilled dreams as well as some shattered realities.
11-  We know some things; we do not know many things.
12-  We have a future; we have a past.
13-  The world is full of good and bad people.
14-  I have become what I learnt.
15-  I as an individual have limited span of life and I want to make the best out of it.
16-  There are people who have understood what life is all about, there are people who are working hard to crack the puzzle of life.

So, the world is the same. Challenges are the same. The struggle is the same. Today everything might have taken a new form in comparison to the past but nothing much has changed. As always we have situations and, we are required to face them, win over them and succeed because we were humans then and we are humans now.

I have always marvelled at fruits.
If not for their nutritive value, certainly for the way they are packaged, by the manufacturer.
Crafted to perfection and lovingly presented to us for consumption.
24*7/365 days in a year.

Packaged in all completeness, in different shapes, sizes, colours, shades and hues, not to forget the aromas…through seasons and regions.

Packed to perfection by the manufacturer!
Manufactured with utmost care with unsparing details, built in.
With indefatigable love and affection.

As the manufacturer loves all his creatures that would ultimately get to consume those fruits.
Through brilliant hues of colours and packaging material, that only he is capable of manufacturing, he adds glitter to his own garden of Eden, the earth.

As he hates to litter this, the garden of Eden, he uses biodegradable stuff  to package all his produce.
As a rule.

Next time you peel a banana, a, mango, orange, papaya, pomegranate, custard apple, or any other fruit, please pay 100 percent attention to the way the flesh within the skin and the skin have been perfectly made, preserved, protected, and presented to you, by him, the Almighty manufacturer.
Do a close inspection.
You will agree with me.

As you select any fruit, do notice the colours, material, wonderful hues, the manufacturer chose for the purpose of packaging it.
Feel the skin, its rich texture, and don’t forget to inhale the wonderful aroma, of the ripened fruit, presented to you.
Go ahead and relish it.
Energize yourself.

While you do so, you will notice and acknowledge too, that a lot of love and detailed care have gone into each packaged fruit.
An endearing, enduring effort on his part.
For you.

It’s the final result of fool proof planning, manufacturing, and packaging, for you.
By him.
The manufacturer,
The best packager.
As the Almighty.

Once you consume the flesh, do discard the packaging material, without worrying too much about the bitter consequences, like global warming, etc.
Just worry about the proper civil sense of disposal.

If you can, please dispose of the seed, to help propagate the fruit.
Dispose of the rest to form compost as well.

Be very thankful and grateful.
As, fruits and vegetables are the most nutritious of all the foods, we get to eat.

That then was:
The Almighty’s way, his manufacturing technique, his choice of materials, his presentation to you, for you.
For your good, and for the overall well-being of his ecosystem, as well.

You would of course say “alive”. Truly you would say I am asking a pointless and silly question. Very well, then would you explain to me why nobody could find time to visit Mr. X when he was alive but all turned out to pay him “respect”(sic) when he finally called it a day? Am I being silly then?  Now my own time is not too far off. I was reflecting on my own life. I did the unpardonable by living by my principles and whims instead of the community’s and was rather stark in my annoyance if anyone crossed the line beyond reasonable limits. So today I have the pleasure of rarely receiving anyone from the family; even the ones who found me “super” when younger. They remember my indiscretions, my frank and outgoing speeches and think I am best kept at a distance which suits me fine (I suppose they are afraid I will contaminate the minds of their children).

The other day I was talking to my wife on this subject and I told her when my time comes would she have the guts to ask people to leave me alone in death as they had done in life? I would definitely want it so.

I do wonder why we give so much importance to death and make it such a grim and sad affair. After all, the departed one could not care less and he could be in no way sad about the turn of events. There is this uppermost enigma in my mind as to why we reserve the eulogizing for the dead while the living ones get all the contemptuous glances and more? There is no love lost before death and after it there is nothing but it. If anyone is looking for proof of the basic elemental dishonesty in human nature one has to simply visit a wake. All their lives those who were dying to hear a kind word have to literally die to hear one!

My father was an intellectual and although he loved the company of his friends and family and could easily become the life of the party, he was by virtue of his hobbies and activities happy to be left alone too. When he was younger he was the best placed in the family and helped all his younger brothers to get placed and sisters married off. In time the brothers established themselves and had families and responsibilities of their own. Time for gathering around my father shrank from days to hours and then to minutes to less and less and by the time he was sixty very few had any time to visit him until and unless they had a problem only his genius could solve. My own bent of spirit is a little on the philosophical side and I took after him in more ways than one and I can say he was proud of me and contented enough to see me doing as well as he had done. 

I have always made an effort to find time to be with people I tend to miss. So although my father was in Hyderabad and I was in Delhi, I spent at least 3-4 days every month with him religiously. Then one day the ominous call did come. But at his age it was expected and a matter of time. I reached there immediately to take care of affairs and informed all my family who are mainly in the north of India that they should please do me the favour of not rushing down. For one I did not have the resources to host anyone; and more importantly I wanted to be alone. I told them they would be welcome to visit me and my mother when we were in Delhi in a month’s time. Knowing me they all did as told. We did not miss them and I am sure they were very relieved to avoid this troublesome trip.

I have been one of the lucky ones. I enjoyed exactly 47 years of a close life with my father and my brother. I pride myself in thinking that the delight was mutual. I took time out to spend as much of my days as I could with both of them. I may regret a lot of things but not the time with them. Now that they are gone I feel orphaned. But as it happens in life there are always compensatory comings and goings. My daughter came into my life when I was 58; when I had all the time in the world to devote to her. The last 3 and a half years I have been with her all the time. My wife is a full time employee so the mothering came on my shoulders and I loved it. It has been the loveliest part of my life. The laughter, the kisses, the clinging and the gamboling; nothing can beat it all. Only now that she is growing up and does not need my physical embraces so much I am already beginning to feel the distancing and a wistfulness creeps in. I get to hold her nowadays only when something disturbs her at night and then she slips into my lap and goes to sleep in my arms. How long will the title “Grandest Papa in the Whole World” last? Why do these kids have to grow so fast?

The cicada, shallow and shopaholic, jigging about through hot and shiny summers, wouldn’t bother with savings and other $ issues. Whatever, she’d hum, strolling back into her condo hideout, skinny arms full of nothing but joy.

Then the seed crisis came. A windy, stormy, unpredictable tragedy, whose effects no one was able to imagine.

The ant, who had spent years accumulating all her goods into a private storage, smartly located just a few blocks from her tiny, modest studio, rushed to collect her things back.

“Sorry, we are closed. No withdraw today,” said a note on the storage’s main entrance.

She didn’t lose control and went back the day after.

“Sorry, we are still closed. No withdraw today. Nor tomorrow,” another note informed.

The ant felt a little weird discomfort tapping at the bottom of her stomach.

The fourth day, she literally ran to finally get all her thingy things back.

“Sorry, we are officially closed. For good.”

She was surrounded by a wide crowd of nervous ants, knocking with arms and legs at the door of the storage… And we all know that ants do have power. Eventually, they managed to dismantle the reinforced concrete door. Once inside, they couldn’t repress their shock at the view of the inescapable emptiness of the space.

This is a scam! It’s all gone. Oh my god. How are we going to survive? Please call an ambulance, I am fainting… The drama lasted for hours and the media couldn’t help reporting the breaking news.

“Ants’ lifetime savings are gone, for good.” 

And what about the cicada? You might wonder…

The cicada is out, having dinner with her friends, dressed up with her newest shopping-spree acquisition. Her fridge is empty today and she thought it’d be a good idea to have a bite out. She just got back from a weekend with her boyfriend, which was great “in spite of the new hotel we chose. You know, not that great. But we need to be a little careful, with this crisis!”

Nothing changed in her life and nothing will, as long as she has a job and she keeps buying and eating her seeds. She won’t stop spending, wasting, shopping, consuming. She loves it and that’s all that matters.

The crisis taught all of us a great lesson. The cicada and the ant were both right, doing what they were doing and behaving like they did. But…a few details have to be kept in mind.

It’s OK to save…although you’d better be sure where you store your goods.

It’s OK to live. Why cut out from our lives the few pleasures we have?

It’s even better to save while living. The crisis is made of people and we need to help each other.

If you still have a job, enjoy your free time and keep paying for certain services… (Women: manicure, pedicure, hairdresser, basic clothing needs, the yoga course, a special present from time to time, a dinner out with friends…c’mon! Men: vitamins and proteins for the muscles, clothes for the office/sport, the gym membership, a drink with mates, the latest videogame, that fancy watch strap you saw in the jewellery store, I saw you staring at it!)

There is no point in modifying our habits dramatically, altering our mood and the ones of those around us… All in all, we still have our greatest presents with us: Ourselves living life on earth.

This short story was inspired by a great article written by Ms. Vera Montanari (Director) on the Italian magazine Grazia (http://grazia.blog.it/2009/02/24/la-favola-della-cicala-e-della-formica-ma-con-un-nuovo-finale/).

Sustainability is his mantra! Not because he is pitching for clean energy via wind turbines, solar panels only but also, for asking the corporate to be responsible towards the society and environment as well. Making them spend the dollars they have raked in over the last 100 years!

His speech at the Jt. Session of Congress evoked a flurry of responses in all the news channels and business newspapers. All the capitalists of new India cloaked in the disguise of “entrepreneurs” crying foul! US capitalists dwarfed us Indians by getting their own Bobby in Washington DC to lead the clarion call within minutes of the president’s speech!

Capitalists fear him and I too am fearful. There is a difference though. I am afraid that the one sensible guy whom we have found after almost a century to champion the cause of common man might be “silenced”! I wish and pray for the well being of Obama and his family.

This article is an unconventional didactic exegesis! So, it’s going to be a long one. And also, let me warn you, if you are not an Obama fan, you might just want to drop off here or dig in and comment your rebuttal!

“The fact is, our economy did not fall into decline overnight. Nor did all of our problems begin when the housing market collapsed or the stock market sank…we import more oil today than ever before…The cost of health care eats up more and more of our savings each year…and though all of these challenges went unsolved, we still managed to spend more money and pile up more debt… .We have lived through an era where too often short-term gains were prized over long-term prosperity, where we failed to look beyond the next payment, the next quarter, or the next election.”

How true? Didn’t we all know that Americans lived their life by the day? Is he wrong in coming out in public and admitting it? He just ripped off the band-aid buddy, nothing more!

“A surplus became an excuse to transfer wealth to the wealthy instead of an opportunity to invest in our future… .Regulations  were gutted for the sake of a quick profit at the expense of a healthy market. People bought homes they knew they couldn’t afford from banks and lenders who pushed those bad loans anyway.”

Have you heard this from any of the banks who lent irresponsibly or the people who took them? No! Instead we were immersed in a usual US media blitz on “subprime mortgage crisis”. After all what can we expect from a country that calls its jails “correction facilities” and killing innocent civilians as “collateral damage”. The common American was all along kept away from harsh realities by flooding him with such jargons which anyway the high school dropout wouldn’t understand. Their life was watched the world over as the biggest “True man show” ever! The Americans also were so gullible and at times I should say were high on grass!

“…they will be held accountable by me and the American people for every dollar they spend… I’ve appointed a proven and aggressive inspector general to ferret out any and all cases of waste and fraud…” Which means nobody and nothing was ever held responsible in US. Some one said, “Nothing is guaranteed in the US but everybody gets a chance, but, not all get a chance in the UK, but once they do, it is guaranteed!” So typical of the American lifestyle, which by the way they take pride in calling it “our way of life” – what the heck! Here is a man who has never used this phrase! A man who criticizes with an open heart, the same “way of life” which has brought them to where they are today!

Read on, do you now wonder if Robin Hood is back?

“…It’s a plan that won’t help speculators or that neighbour down the street who bought a house he could never hope to afford, this time, CEOs won’t be able to use taxpayer money to pad their paychecks, or buy fancy drapes, or disappear on a private jet. Those days are over…”

“…It is time to put in place tough, new common-sense rules of the road so that our financial market rewards drive and innovation and punishes shortcuts and abuse…”

“…In order to save our children from a future of debt, we will also end the tax breaks for the wealthiest 2 percent of Americans…”

And here comes the clincher!

“…I do not accept a future where the jobs and industries of tomorrow take root beyond our borders…”

I say, Robin Hood is Barack!

There are two things which I want to talk about, especially on the clincher. Obama is not against outsourcing. He suggests that any new technology / innovation done BY an American company, needs to happen in the US. This is fairly simple. He is willing to provide tax benefits for such firms and encourage them to utilize the resources of his country. In fact he is pitching to the big businesses to do work in the US and get rewarded as well for that.

Secondly, did you know that US business conglomerates are so big that their value is more than that of GDP of some of the nations put together and in certain cases equal to the GDP of some of the biggest developing nations? These businesses have moved from the US to cheaper cost of production locations and are charging a bomb from the other US businesses located in US. On top of that every year, these big companies, gross 300$ billion from their “offshore” locations and take that money back into the US by paying a paltry 5% tax to the US Government. In such scenarios, all he is suggesting is that he will not provide a tax haven anymore and just pay the 35% corporate you are supposed to pay!

OK, in case you are the ‘Joe the plumber’, let me simplify it for you.

1. US companies (IBM, Accenture, Mc D, Pepsi, PWC, Mc Kinsey etc.) had reached a saturation point in the US market.
2. The US Gov told the businesses, “You go out and start off your business in offshore locations, get more revenues and when you bring the money back into US, instead of paying 35% corporate tax, pay me just 5% tax. I will allow you to do this for a long, long time and you bring back wealth into America.”
3. These companies utilized the opportunities and ventured out.
4. When they realized the potential of countries like India (services) and China (manufacturing), they started shipping jobs to India and got a cost arbitrage and also utilized the tax haven in their country.
5. Double whammy as they call it in US, Joe!

Now, for Indian “Ramu the IT guy”…I am sure you would have been immersed in offshore/onsite model, travels, free trade, global market, share market stories by now. Also, I am pretty confident that you would have wanted to multiply your money and invested heavily in share markets! Suppose you had the shares of HLL (Hindustan Lever Ltd.) which is a subsidiary of Unilever (UK). You would be glad that you invested in a multi-national company and since you are receiving dividends you would have become an advocate of free trade. If you carefully examine what the Unilevers of the world are doing, you will realize that they are swindling money from your country (read India) mate!

Again, let me simplify it for you. It is day time robbery my friend! When HLL announces dividends, being the largest shareholder, Unilever (UK) gets money. It goes back to UK or if it were a US company it goes back to US. Poor Governments of the UK/US, in a move to encourage their so called entrepreneurs in a free trade practice, had announced that they can bring back the capital at 5% interest rate. Finally, the money lands in the company coffers and the CEOs and top brass burp it away over champagne in a private jet somewhere in the south of Europe in a Mediterranean island with their girl friends! The point to note is that they are not investing enough money back into the country where they are consuming their resources from and also not paying appropriate taxes to their motherland as well! Double Whammy buddy!!

This guy Barack Obama, the US President, a sensible guy, finally, is not sticking up to his capitalist friends. He is talking about common sense and common people.

Look at the people whom he got inspiration from. Leonard Abess, a bank president from Miami who reportedly cashed out of his company, took a $60 million bonus, and gave it out to all 399 people who worked for him, plus another 72 who used to work for him, Greensburg, Kansas, a town that was completely destroyed by a tornado and its story of reconstruction, Ty’Sheoma Bethea, the young girl from that school he visited in Dillon, South Carolina who wrote a letter to his administration that she wants her school restored back!

He is trying hard to bring in the “change” he promised. Unlike our Indian government he is not throwing “spare change” to the common man like farm loan waiver, fuel price cuts, some petty tax cuts, in the garb of stimulus plans. Our CEOs and financial analysts need to wake up to the fact that he is the President of United States of America and not this planet!

I have confidence after listening to his speech that he will bring back the American economy on track! In this very same speech, he says he will restore faith in G 20 nations regarding American economy. “…for the world depends on us having a strong economy, just as our economy depends on the strength of the world’s!”

Let’s say “We want change!”  Hail Barack – Robin Hood of our times and the true sustainability champion!

Take AR Rehman’s  statement at the Oscar ceremony and at Chennai on his arrival. I reproduce here what he said at Chennai:

“It’s a starting point in my career and will indeed make a difference in fans’ approach towards good music.”

“My award’s message was said clearly in my acceptance speech. In my life, I always had a choice between love and hate and I chose love. That is my philosophy in life and in music.”

“I chose to live a life overriding differences between people, states, language and religion. My fans should do the same.”

As fans congregated outside his home in the south western suburb of Kodambakkam, Rahman was keen to ensure that neighbours were not disturbed in the dead of night.

It is clear that Rehman thinks deeply and has a message for all of us. His message carries authenticity because he is known to practice what he preaches. Thus his modesty is touching when he said “It’s a starting point in my career.”

This is all the more surprising in the context of Bollywood where giant size egos are the norm. His decision to choose love over hate is directed at all those who choose the opposite –these people are too well known to bear enumeration here. Rehman show us all the way to managing multiple identities – Tamilian, bollywood/tollywood star, muslim, Indian, international – all wrapped in one seamless fashion. His music can switch from Carnatic to Sufi to Lebanese to Salsa – all in one song! He himself can switch from talking about Allah to speaking about Iraiavan—the Tamil Hindu word for God. In the face of some consternation among orthodox muslims, Rehman sang –with added gusto I thought – Vande Matram.

Not many may have noticed that he has introduced maybe a hundred new young singers to the Tamil and Hindi screens – his faith in the youth of India is evident in his statement that he would like youngsters to take a different view of music after his winning the Oscar.

His request that his fans ought not to disturb his neighbours in the dead of night attracts attention to a long forgotten quality in India—consideration for others.

As for Resool Pookutty what he said has gone less noticed maybe because sound mixing is too esoteric for the layman. He said that he considered his Oscar award as God’s gift on the occasion of Shivratri. He made another profound statement – there was one ‘sound’ before which there was no sound and after which also there will be no sound. He was referring to the Hindu concept of the cosmic sound OM. The significance of these statements lies in what to me is a rare instance of a Hindu not being shy of his Hindu identity in public. In our perverted understanding of secularism it had become unfashionable for a Hindu to be so in public. I am an atheist by the way.

Both these  achievers together convey anther message to all of us especially the young—humble origins need  not prevent you from aspiring for and achieving great success.
How do these guys covey their message?
Dil se.

At one point the conversation veered round to the reports of several Indians being killed in cities across the US. In the last 15 months, 8 engineers from Andhra have been killed.

The headline that prompted the emotional discussion was as follows:

Andhra engineer found dead in Spain
HYDERABAD: An aeronautical engineer from Nizamabad district of Andhra Pradesh was found dead under suspicious circumstances at his house in Madrid in spain.
 

One major regret of mine-among many others – has been my phobia towards mathematics. Over the last few years I have been devoting much time and effort to the study of the working of the mind and have written three books on this subject. This research led me to a study of mathematics since probabilities are an integral part of our lives and thinking process.

One insight that I gained is about superstition and the other was our tendency to see patterns even when events occur in a random fashion.
          `
Thus one of my guests suggested that Telugu youngsters were being ‘targeted’ for murder in the US and maybe even Spain. He felt that 8 murders “is too much to be random.”

I told him that most people all over the world find it difficult to grasp the concept of randomness and have a tendency to see a pattern—some pattern in every series of events. We are probably programmed to seek an explanation that makes ‘sense’.

I tried to reason that the criminal in the US cities will not know the difference between a Telugu and say a Tamilian. Even someone from north India does not know this! It is also possible that the criminal  may not  even think about the nationality of the person whom he is attacking. He sees a man in a deserted  locality who seems to be  unarmed and better off than he himself is and a moment later he shoots his quarry down. It is we who realize later that the man killed is a Telugu guy.

Moreover  some of these guys killed are students , relatively new to the country and city  and are not aware that most US cities have ‘dangerous’ localities and need to be avoided. Anyone seen in these places risks being harmed irrespective of nationality.

In any case Telugus form the largest segment of immigrant Indians and even if a criminal decides to target an Indian there is at least a 40/50% probability that he will end up hurting a Telugu.
 
Thus these acts of violence are random and while one shares the grief of their families the fact is that Telugu people are not being ‘targeted’.

I believe that when one falls into such a state of mind there is a danger of developing a victim complex. I recall a Christian friend of mine telling me that her niece had applied for  a scholarship in a Pune-based college but was turned down. The niece and aunt attributed this to ‘discrimination’ against Christians.
They told me that there were 2000 applicants for ten scholarships.

I drew their attention to a mathematical way of looking at this event. There were two thousand applicants for 10 scholarships. So obviously 1990 applications HAD TO BE REJECTED. So your niece was one among these rejected applicants majority of whom were Hindus! So Hindus can also claim to be rejected unfairly. The probability of her being selected was a low 1 in 200!

Thus I suggested that her rejection may be due to the odds being heavily against her and not necessarily due to discrimination. I do not totally rule out discrimination though  but one must have  better evidence  to make such an accusation.
     
I believe most superstitions are the product of our tendency to seek ‘explanations’ for everything that happens around us. We see event ‘A’  followed by event ‘B’  and we cannot but say that ‘A’ led to ‘B’. This is the familiar cause-effect relationship that may be untrue. Many miracles attributed to God or saints fall in this category.

At one point in the party, my friend Rakesh Sinha suggested that in view of the Satyam scandal he concluded that Telugu people are frauds. This accusation has appeared in the net often. Before there could be an exchange of blows I told my guests that in case there is pandemonium the probability of all of us being arrested was high!

Very depressing. Made me very uninterested about life. All I see around are just copies of DNA trying their best to survive. War is a laughable affair. So is the desire of a new bike. We are a temporary blip, registered nowhere in the universe.

And then on Sunday morning I just got home from gym, and as I was parking my bike, the apartment’s security came running, with a bright yellow lump held in hand. A love bird, obviously escaped from someone’s cage and later picked up by a kite for breakfast, fell on its head when it was being carried overhead. A direct fall to the ground would probably have been fatal; but the bird was injured enough. I took it home.

Its heart was beating too fast, and it wasn’t able to lift its head. I don’t know if the neck was broken, and I thought it’d have been instant death if that was the case. Taking it in one palm, I held some water cupped in the other, and much to my relief, it stretched itself to slurp. After some sips, it seemed to have calmed down but refused to eat bread crumbs I offered. It needed medical attention, so I called PFA and they took it to their hospital.

The bird is doing well now.

This is crazy. Why there has to be an equilibrium of everything? Nursing an injured bird changed it all — I love life again!

A correspondent for the Financial Times of London wrote about the movie and how it had brought India into the limelight with heightened interest among Americans in particular and the west in general. People in remote US cities—remote from Hollywood that is—are asking how they can know more about India and visit the country. Americans are learning about the frenetic economic development in India.

Dharavi itself can show us the way to a development model.

Traditionally India has followed a top down model of development in which government and administrators decide what is good for the people. This has not been very effective. I have more than once written about the weakness in this approach. Governments, advised by administrators, tend to think in an urban way. In a discussion about developments in Singrur, Nandigram and parts of Orissa, I pointed out that the urban psyche is different from that of farmers and rural poor. Thus an urban dweller might consider it a lucrative deal if he is given financial compensation for his property taken over for a project. In addition if he or his son is offered a job he will jump with joy. But such an approach has not worked in places in West Bengal and Orissa for example. I have suggested that anthropologists, psychologists and NGO’s working among the rural poor are involved in helping rural poor to cope with a modern world. I am a mere observer of human thinking but I can hypothesize that our approach to rural poor is flawed in the sense that their psychological needs, have not been addressed, their fears about losing their moorings have not been looked at, their sense of sacred places have been ignored their sense of bonding with a community and a place have not even been understood. It is easy and true to say that in West Bengal politicians have deliberately played a negative role. My response is that had the factors I have enumerated been addressed these politicians might not have been able to play as much mischief as they have done.

You may not know that HIV, war, riots, terrorism are not as critical to the poor as you may imagine—these are typical urban myths. Here is what a UN report says, “No act of terrorism generates economic devastation on the scale of the crisis in water and sanitation.” To my mind the scene in which the slumboy dives into a tank of human refuse was probably conceived with this insight in mind.

Slumdog Millionaire draws our attention to the down-up model I talk about. How residents of Dharavi have picked themselves up NOT by state handouts but by taking advantage of accessibility to the market and tapping their own entrepreneur zeal. I surmise that if the state facilitates earning of income then development will take off.

Development experts who have worked at grassroots level in many countries especially India say that the main request of the poor is a means to earn a better income. Dharavi provides that. With the higher income a demand for education, medicines, etc will take off and will facilitate viable delivery of these services. In short empowering the poor to help themselves and to devolve decision making to them may hold the key to development. Bangladesh has done better than India in this respect. 

If Slumdog Millionaire serves to stir up discussion on how to tap the entrepreneurial energies of Indians it will serve a higher purpose.
By the way, some tour operators in the US have come up with tour packages for American tourists to travel to India. The highlight of the tour—a visit to Dharavi. I spoke to one such operator. He told me that he was approached by a resident of Dharavi who has agreed to take tourists around the shanty town for a fee.

‘You guys are smart’ he added.

–

K.R. Ravi is South Asia’s first Dr.Edward De Bono certified public trainer in lateral thinking, and a pioneer in spreading lateral thinking in the Indian corporate sector. For more details, visit http://www.krravi.com or contact him at createravi@hotmail.com.

Workplace teams are formed in a jiffy and also disperse in a jiffy, once the project is complete. So, how many people can the modern man really get to know? And to what extent can he get to know the other person is a big question. One of my friends used to quip, “I maintain many relationships on an above acquaintance but below friendship category.” Seems like an interesting range that we can deploy for relationships these days.

Alvin Toffler in his book “Future Shock” explores the transient nature of human bonds in this century of industrialization. I have listed a few interesting passages from the book, that Toffler has quoted from other works too.

 The man on the move is ordinarily in too much of a hurry to put down roots in any one place. And his move destroys a complex web-work of old relationships and establishes a set of new ones.
 If the urban individual reacted emotionally to each and every person with whom he came into contact, or cluttered his mind with information about them, he would be completely atomized internally and would fall into an unthinkable mental condition. In an urban environment the attempt to ‘involve’ oneself fully with everyone can lead only to self-destruction and emotional emptiness.
 We have created the disposable person – The Modular Man. Rather than entangling ourselves with the whole man, we plug into a module of his personality. Each personality can be imagined as a unique configuration of thousands of such modules.
 The urban man’s life is touched by dozens of systems and people. His capacity to know some of them better necessitates his minimizing the depth of his relationship to many others. Listening to the postman gossip is an act of sheer graciousness for the urban man, since he probably has no interest in the people the postman wants to talk about.
 Difficulties arise only when one or another party oversteps the tacitly understood limits, when he attempts to connect up with some module not relevant to the function at hand.
 The tighter and more totalistic the relationship, the more modules, so to speak, are brought into play. And we make numerous demands.
 Our friends float past; we become involved with them; they float on, and we must rely on hearsay or lose track of them completely; they float back again, and we must either renew our friendship – catch up to date – or find that they and we don’t comprehend each other any more.

Those are few passages that sum up the transient relationships today. I remember one interesting forward that still circulates. The subject of the forward message is “Reason, Season, or Lifetime.” We meet a fruit vendor to buy fruits, a colleague at work for a year or two, and a spouse or a child for a lifetime. So, we need to cleverly know when we interact with someone, if it is for a reason, season, or a lifetime.

–

Anitha is an engineer with a masters in human resource management. She has conducted and been a part of syncronous and asynchronous training in technical and soft skills subjects. Her interests include reading, cooking, singing, and listening to music.

I noticed it, got down from my friend’s vehicle and moved my vehicle a little so it was no more a disturbance to others. There was another person who was trying to park and he saw me doing this and said “Thank you”, as he thought that it was someone else’s vehicle and I am trying to help him. I accepted the thanks and just thought about the whole incident.

Now in the mind of the person who was trying to park the vehicle, I would look like a good socially aware person, but at the same time my colleague would have felt how badly I had parked my vehicle, as he knew it was my vehicle. The same way, many times we build perception about another person with one incident and we carry the same impression about that person. In this incident it was fine that this person had a positive opinion about me, but there may be many situations in our life where we could have misjudged some people based on an incident and built our perception about the individual, based on that incident and would have taken a lot of decisions based on that, which might have been wrong.

Typically in our industry, which involves a lot of team work and relationship being the most important factor for the success of the team, these kind of perception building will lead to lot of trouble and ultimately lead to the failure of our project. So let’s give a thought before we create any perception about any individual, around us. Many times, what we see and what we hear may mislead us, so it is wise to get to the details.

–

Venky is a delivery manager at MindTree Limited, having interests in team building, event management, employee engagement and training. An avid blogger too. “Riding the wave” best describes his approach towards life. Visit his website www.venkyb.com.

 I would then ask each trainees to tell me another three number series based on the rule he had identified. I would merely nod ‘yes’ or ‘no’ depending on whether the new series was consistent or not with the rule.

I found myself answering ‘yes’ almost all the time.

What I observed was that once trainees were confident with their answers they would formulate the rule.

I would surprise them finally by telling them that the rule I had in mind was ‘numbers in an ascending order!’

Rarely did any trainee discover my rule. Why? Because in order to discover my rule one of them had to offer a series in descending order that I would say ‘no’ to.

What comes out of this exercise is this—trainees had a rule in mind and gave me examples to confirm it. They almost never supplied a series that was inconsistent with their hypothesis. They tended to confirm the rules they had made up.

This is widely noticed in our daily lives—this tendency to seek confirmatory evidence and overlook disconfirming evidence.

Thus my friend Ashok asked me if I believed in astrology. I replied in the negative. He cited his experience two years go when his astrologer had predicted that he would be promoted in his company. It turned out that Ashok did in fact get an out of turn promotion.
“How can you explain this prediction when I was not even eligible for a promotion since I had not completed the required service in my current position?” he asked.
 
I told him to recall the other predictions that his astrologer had made at that time. He remained silent but his wife blurted out the truth—he had made seven other predictions none of which had come true.             

Ashok remembered the one prediction that had come true – by sheer chance – and forgotten or conveniently overlooked the many that did not come out true.

Our prejudices  against members of a particular community are almost always based on this tendency to seek confirmatory evidence. Our prejudiced mind tells us that people of that community behave or even dress in a particular way. When we meet someone from that community we unconsciously seek evidence that confirms our prejudiced thinking. Is it any wonder that we will end up noticing only that kind of behaviour?

I recall my experience at Newark Airport   when I first  landed in the U.S. I was received by a friend, a Tamilian. As we were waiting for some clearances we saw a man, his wife and a small child, with a lot of luggage. I noticed that the luggage included a wet grinder – the sort very popular in south Indian homes, to make idlis, dosas. etc.

Seeing the rather unpretentious clothes worn by the threesome we guessed that the man was running an Udidi hotel somewhere in the U.S. My friend decided to find out the truth. He casually walked up to the man, made polite conversation and at one  stage delicately asked “Are you running a hotel?”

“No, I am a post-doctoral researcher in nuclear physics,” he said.
 
We retreated to our base no doubt looking foolish. Little did we notice that the man was carrying under his arm the book ‘Proceedings of the International Conference on New Nuclear Physics with  Advanced Techniques.’

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K.R. Ravi is South Asia’s first Dr.Edward De Bono certified public trainer in lateral thinking, and a pioneer in spreading lateral thinking in the Indian corporate sector. For more details, visit http://www.krravi.com or contact him at createravi@hotmail.com.

The knowledge, skills, and attitude of a prospective candidate are analyzed by written tests and several rounds of interviews. Personal life is also questioned. Only after ensuring that the candidate will bring profit to a company does the candidate become a resource or employee of the business unit.

Now, say the resource has to go to a client’s place. The resource has to again go through another round of written tests and interviews. And only when the resource is found suitable does the travel opportunity or helmsmanship fall into the lap of the skilled resource.

Now what is the role of the colleagues of the skilled resource who gets a “Spark Award” or “a foreign trip chance”? Quoting the words of my husband’s lead at office, “We are just facilitators for you (resources) to carry out your duties. The ultimate responsibility and ownership of your success is yours. “

However, there are a few noble gestures at office that deserve gratitude. One of my friends told her senior that her husband has a drinking problem. The senior immediately purchased a book on rehabilitation of alcohol addicts and gave it to my friend. Now, my friend is surely indebted and has to be grateful to the senior. Since he moved beyond the call of his duty or business interest and helped my friend.

No company hesitates to give you the pink slip, the moment they sense you are a liability rather than an asset. Inside the office, you play your role and I will play mine.

Peter Drucker, the management guru professes that “An employer has no business with a man’s personality. Employment is a specific contract for a specific duty. An employee owes no love, no loyalty, no attitudes. An employee owes performance and nothing else.”

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Anitha is an engineer with a masters in human resource management. She has conducted and been a part of syncronous and asynchronous training in technical and soft skills subjects. Her interests include reading, cooking, singing, and listening to music.

If you have had a dog in the house, and here let me qualify that I mean a live-in pet that is allowed to enter all areas of the residence, you would know that caring for it is serious work. We have had two by the way and one is still alive and with us. Nonetheless, the fact is that many people have a dog to show off their wealth, or to tie at the entrance of their house or as a guard dog, that cannot enter the front door. So we have people who buy a ‘pedigreed’ dog, authenticated by a proper certificate by a kennel club.

There are only two areas that this piece will focus upon, one the way the dog owner treats the dog and the second, the way he or she deals with the ‘doggy do’ or poop. Believe me, I have seen plenty of owners, and the way they treat this rather sticky aspect of dog care is a revelation.  So to get to the point, we have the following:

Democratic owner

Their dogs are allowed the run of the house. They can climb on to sofas or share the master bedroom with the owners. They are not tied up at any time and, in the rare event that dog haters come to the residence and they have to be isolated, the dogs are simply kept in one of the bedrooms, behind a closed door.

Here’s what is probably the owner’s management style. He will allow his employees or subordinates the freedom to express themselves through work. He will probably give them a long rope and will spare them the hanging if they commit mistakes. This makes for a friendly and responsible employee who learns on the job and from each task he or she is required to do. Rather like the CEO of IBM who did not fire a VP who committed a blunder that cost the company a cool $7 million. When asked why he did not he said, “Hell, I just paid for his tuition!”

Dogs and children and employees need to be corrected and this also happens with such a manager. However, the annoyance lasts for only a short while. Normally, employees respond to the needs of the organisation best, with such a manager and he or she dotes as much on the employees as they on him or her.

Dictatorial owner
 
This person treats his canine like a military commander treats his troops. He expects complete obedience and punishes any infraction or signs of rebellion with a reprimand or a beating. What this does to the dog is to make it a canine existing without any enthusiasm. This man’s employees are also likewise, an unenthusiastic bunch of people who work because they have to and, their life or death depends on this person who happens to be their boss. I have worked with three such caustic bosses and any attempt to do my best always met with a reprimand for some unexpressed requirement that remained unfulfilled!

The organisation suffers such bosses more due to political reasons than anything else. In the long run they cause more harm than good and the employees flee faster than people leaving the Gulf, as of now.

Careless owner

This person cannot be bothered to take care of his or her dog. The poor dear is left to fend for itself. Food is not given on time, the pooch is not properly toilet trained and the neighbours keep complaining. Not the fault of the dog. However, you can bet the owner blames the dog and says that all this happens despite the care he takes!

You know this kind of manager, the one who delegates work and responsibility and blames the employee for any mistakes. What happens is that the employees start shirking work and woe betide the poor sod who volunteers, with sucker written all over his or her visage. Of course everyone learns fast and no one steps up on the plate after sometime. At which point, the boss berates everyone for lack of initiative, for laziness and what have you.

The sticky part

What about the doggy poop, the sticky part. In India where every person is a law unto himself, there are a few owners who take the trouble of cleaning up after their dogs. In Singapore, the fear of fines and lashes of the Rotang ensures discipline of cleaning up after the canines.

In places where discipline is not enforced or, if at all, very loosely, the true character of the owner manifests. Here let me get to the types, without this description claiming to be complete by any means.

One owner takes his or her canine on to the public road and is busy using the mobile while the dog sniffs around looking for an appropriate toilet space. Sometimes, the dog is not on leash and the owner is looking elsewhere. The dog will choose, as dogs are inclined to do, the entrance of someone’s house, or the middle of the road. Passersby avoid the mess and walk around it. Meanwhile big daddy is still busy on the mobile and starts walking homeward. The canine follows although in an inquisitive way as it sniffs its way around its neighbourhood including the hindquarters of other canines. If the canine gets into a fight with another not so kindly inclined one, the owner promptly puts it on leash and drags it away from the scene despite the stiff resistance it offers to the curtailment of its freedom. This owner believes in the public being spared the menial task of clearing public spaces of doggy poop by the citizen. The dog’s duty is to dirty and the municipality’s duty is to clean up. Of course, if this worthy steps on the mess made by a canine, even if it is his own, he will lament loudly about how public servants are lax in the performance of their duty.

The abovementioned person would be the one who will fudge accounts and do all sorts of slimy things and expect that others will clean up the mess made by him. Sorry, but this trait is more masculine than feminine. Only don’t tell my wife I said so!

The next type of owner keeps his dog on leash but will stop short of cleaning up. He or she ensures that the dog does its stuff away from the public gaze and in a corner somewhere. This person may be careful not to make a mess but will still walk away from it and allow others to clean up.

So who is the ideal dog owner?  He or she carries a scooper or at least newspapers and plastic bags, when taking the pet for a walk. These owners clean up after their dogs and take care to use the trash can thereafter. This is regardless whether anyone is looking. These owners take good care of their dogs and keep them from straying and dirtying the neighbours’ spaces. They take responsibility to clean up any public space that has been dirtied by their dogs and bristle when their pets are accused of messing up the neighbourhood. They pass on these rules to their children who grow up to be caring and careful citizens. At work such people are likely to be responsible employees who take ownership of the business and do their best, own up their mistakes and do not leave the rectification to others.

So that’s my piece. By no means does it purport to be an all encompassing treatise. Am sure that lots of people will tell me what I have omitted, an error to which I freely admit. Let’s all strive to be like the last named dog owner. And here are my two precious canine sons, one of whom, the brown one Dennis, shrugged off his mortal coils last year. Rex is with us and he has sufficient toilet etiquette to use the toilet. He does not flush. But then he is a dog and not a man!

(Disclaimer: This does not purport to be anything but pop psychology and the author claims no responsibility for anyone taking this too seriously!)

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R.A. Krishna, 56, is a former banker and a financial and banking consultant. He has two sons Arun, 29, and Adethya, 20. He also has a dog named Rex, whom he calls his canine son!

After a very long duration, may be years and years, I received a hand written letter.
From a caring human being, who is destined to become my relative, by law.
And I was moved.

I had to read it again and again, for the sheer pleasure of holding it in my hands and re-living the joys of receiving, reading, loving hand written letters.

We grew up that way.
Somewhere down the line, I got victimized too to the convenience of emails.
This gentleman, now in his 60′s, obviously did not.
He wrote a letter on a piece of paper, using a pen.
In neat legible handwriting.
I wanted to reply too, in the same vein.
Promptitude has always been a virtue, in me.
I was not able to.
And that inability was gnawing me every day.

I resolved I would, and not call him instead to say thank you…I would write back a handwritten response.
Though I have his cell number I did not reach for the buttons.
I held back.
I have to write to him.

Despite such firm resolutions, it’s now almost a week and I haven’t.
I could not and am feeling miserable about it.
Such a simple act of yesteryears is nearh impossible, now.

In these past few days I might have responded to hundreds of emails, within minutes, but here was an act that had to be done, for sure, but new habits having now formed, have forced me to not to.

The gentleman in question doesn’t have an email id to begin with.
He is not even net savvy.
That adds to my predicament.
I have to write back a handwritten letter!
I haven’t.

Finally, as an interim measure, in order to get over the guilt of not acknowledging/responding within a reasonable time, I gave in, I did call him up, and expressed my gratitude with a promise of a written response too.

Why was I not able to write?
I had the paper.
I had the pen.
I had envelopes.
I had access to postage too.
The post box is also there…a few feet away from my home.
The postal services are also alive and kicking.
The will to write is also there.

Then what is missing?
A habit that is no longer “the habit”.

Yes, the habit of writing hand written letters has long since diluted, dissolved too.
Almost dead.
Thanks to technology which has made the pen a tool of the past and the keyboard, the tool of the now.

No wonder then, I am one of the victims of modern times.
To be blamed, not being able to respond back, with the promptitude of yesteryears, through hand written letters, reciprocating love and affection, in the same vein.

Not him…he wrote to me the way he grew up, lived with, and has retained it as a habit.

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Arun alias Axee is an ex-combat pilot turned executive life coach. He is actively involved with Brian Tracy in a novel learning initiative, iLearningGlobal.biz/axee. Contact him at emarshalarun@gmail.com.

The gravity of the statement did not hit me until recently when, again, I was moved by the common thread that connected a few disparate incidents! The common thread was “suspicion”.

I set out on a journey to understand suspicion! The objective was to find out why do we suspect? Should we suspect at all? If so what to suspect and importantly when to stop?

I think it’s in our nature as humans to doubt anything and everything. Biblical character the Doubting Thomas who doubted the resurrection of Christ himself is a typical example of how far we humans could go with suspicion! Now, if you say that you are a believer and have never doubted anything or anybody, please drop me a note, because, it is rarely in human kind we have had believers and I would be blessed to meet one!

Coming back to the story…

The root of suspicion is the inability to understand a particular thing or person. When someone does not understand something or someone they become insecure and consequently feel guilty. And as Shakespeare says, “Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind!” The level of insecurity manifests in the magnitude of the action that follows, results of which could turn out to be either positive or negative.

There is a whole list of words to contextualize suspicion – doubt, misgiving, distrust, mistrust, disbelief, wariness, scepticism. Instead of eliminating this concept we have encouraged it! This means that our society actually encouraged suspicion as a thought process. Usually a thought process drives creativity. When that creativity is channelized in the right way we witness miracles. In effect, how creative we get with our suspicion and how well it is channelized decides whether we become an inventor or an intruder. So, in essence, my take is that it is OK to suspect!

A closely knit family, were celebrating a big event one day! There were quite a few people who participated. The following day a member of the house figured out that they had lost precious jewellery. The family suspected one close relative to have stolen it. After some discussions they added the house maids also to the suspects’ list. With each round of deliberation, it became a laundry list of suspects featuring the kith and kin resulting in heated arguments and heartaches.

Finally, the family decided to let go of the issue and make good for the lost jewellery. They did so because they did not want to name and shame someone (if it were a close relative) and also because they would not be able to deliver the harsh actions like a police complaint if it turned out to be someone who was socially and economically weak.

However, the discussion on “suspects” left a bitter taste amongst the family members. Suspicion took a toll on the person who lost the jewellery and others affected by the incident so much so that they were not able to treat/look at the “suspects” the same way as before.

On the other hand, let us look at some situations where suspicion has helped! Had the explorers not suspected that the earth is round, we would not have found the Americas. Had John Nash not suspected Adam Smith’s economic wisdom we wouldn’t have “Nash’s equilibrium” which has changed the face of competition, trade negotiations, game theory etc. To close the loop, but for suspicion, Saint Thomas would have remained “Doubting Thomas” and not become “Saint Thomas the believer”!

The solution lies in this quote: To be suspicious is not a fault. To be suspicious all the time without coming to a conclusion is the defect. – Terence (a Roman dramatist)

Most of us cannot be “the believer” who knows “the truth” during one lifetime, so it is OK to suspect and doubt anything and everything. But if we cannot act on the outcome of a suspicion, we should not continue to be suspicious. When we feel that we are lost in suspicion about someone or something, the first thing we need to do is to seek to understand!

As they say, “When in doubt ask!”

–

Sundararaman Viswanathan is engineer by qualification, manager by profession, aspiring writer and a wannabe entrepreneur at heart. He currently works as a Transition Manager, with vast experience in managing the support of mission critical IT systems.

“Fashion” is last season’s sleeveless jacket. Hugely expensive, but did you ever see anyone wearing this? This is a non-garment, too cold to be a jacket, too edgy to be worn often by most in public. “Fashion” is also the here-today-gone-tomorrow looks. Shoes are a fantastic “fashion” statement and so are bags.

Fashion should be fun!

We all need regular “fashion” hits but we should not pay too much for them. Remember the 80:20 rule, and do not pay over the odds for something you will wear only for a season or not at all. Buy the diffusion ranges or the better high street brands and look to wear for 2 seasons only.

Sometimes we are all hit with a “I will die if I don’t have that” and these instincts should be followed for sheer fun occasionally, but if you let them dominate your wardrobe you will have nothing to wear.

Style is what you actually wear 90% of the time so spend money here, buy the best you can afford and look to keep the clothes. A great beautiful coat in your style and colours will last 10 years so simply buy a more expensive one. The “fashionable” coat will last 4 months so don’t pay too much, have fun with it buy a great colour, and look to replace it.

Find your signature style. Last summer when smocks were in most of my clients bought them. These are now part of the vast unworn in your wardrobe, along with the sleeveless jacket etc. Style should be items that you love deeply that you will wear forever. Jackets, jewellery, coats, cashmere should not be dull but beautiful in rich colours. Fit is everything, buy for how you are now, not for when you lose weight, for example, as this does not work. Buy beautifully cut garments that flatter whatever shape or size you are now.

If grey is in, and it does not suit you then don’t buy it. In short, learn what suits your body, learn what style you are and buy clothes that fit you. Baggy clothes generally don’t flatter and make you look fatter than you are. Go spend your money on fantastic must-have shoes instead or a great piece of jewellery and when things are in the shops that you love, that make your heart sing, that really really suit you, buy them. These will form a great wardrobe for many seasons to come. Aim to be beautiful and fabulous and you will be!   

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Gabrielle Teare is the Leading London Personal Stylist and International Fashion Writer, writing in London, NYC, Malaysia, California and Pasadena. Gabrielle is currently ranked by Alexa as No 1 UK, 1 Europe and 2 Global for Personal Stylist. Visit her website  http://www.gabrielleteare.com.