One day his horse ran away. All his neighbours exclaimed how terrible this was, but the farmer simply said “Maybe.”

A few days later the horse returned and brought two wild horses with it. The neighbors all rejoiced at his good fortune, but the farmer just said “Maybe.”

The next day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse threw him and the son broke his leg. The neighbours all offered their sympathy for his misfortune, but the farmer again said “Maybe.”

The next week conscription officers came to the village to take young men for the army. They rejectedthe farmer’s son because of his broken leg. When the neighbours told him how lucky he was, the farmer replied “Maybe.”

The same incident was being seen in a different light by the same people. The farmer’s friends were reframing the situation.

What seems to be lucky in one context turns out to be unlucky in another context and the other way round.

Here is another example. A college student breaks his leg during summer vacation. He is crestfallen because he can no longer play tennis and football with his family and friends.

A few days later, he realizes that he now has the quiet, alone time to learn how to play the guitar, something he had always wanted to do but had been too busy to attempt.

He discovers he has a great aptitude for music and becomes a decent guitar player by summer’s end. One year later, he changes his major to music. After graduation he embarks on a successful music career.

Years later, his friends recall how unfortunate his leg fracture was that summer, and he says, “Breaking my leg was the best thing that ever happened to me!”

From then on, whenever he is disabled by injury or illness, he recalls the lesson and is far less despondent over his temporary disability than he otherwise would have been, as he takes the opportunity to do something novel.

The same incident was being seen in a different light by the same person. The musician was reframing the situation.

Proactive Reframing as a Creativity Skill

Reframes are a different way of looking at things. Being able to reframe experiences and situations is a very powerful skill which can help to generate ideas from a different perspective.

In the first example given above, the reframe was triggered by an additional bit of information that was introduced in the story.

In the second example, reframing was done without any additional information. It was a case of more or less proactive reframing.

Such proactive reframing can enhance our creativity manifold. Here are some examples of proactive and deliberate reframing.

v During the 1984 campaign, there was considerable concern about Ronald Reagan’s age. Speaking during the

Creativity has long been looked upon as an activity behind the closet. No wonder many myths have developed around the creative process. Not to be left behind, there are many myth busters out there as well!

What myth proponents and myth busters refuse to see is that creativity is a very individual thing. It is not a subject of study amenable to rules and too many do’s and don’ts.

Here are some common myths about creativity along with my comments:

Myth 1: Creativity is inborn and only a chosen few are creative.

While it is true that creativity is inborn, it is not true that only a chosen few are creative. Everyone is born creative. In the process of growing up, educating ourselves and adapting ourselves to our environment, we slowly add blocks to our creativity and forget that we had it in the first place. The difference between a creative person and a person who is not so creative is not in the creativity that they were born with but in the creativity that they have lost.

Myth 2: Creativity can be developed by using certain methods, tools and techniques.

Methods are okay as stepping stones to creativity but eventually they act as mental straitjackets. They hinder creativity for the simple reason that creativity is not a predetermined path. It is about laying out your own path. While methods come from experience, creativity is a foray into the unknown. There can therefore be no formulas or recipes for being creative.

Myth 3: Creative people are weird.

Well, some of them may come across as ones but most are regular people who wear a tie and have bosses to report to. The truth is that everyone is creative in their own way. It may be a hard pill to swallow but even the most stuffy, straight-laced person is as creative as anyone else. It’s just how and how much one uses one’s creativity. So the statement “Creative people are weird” suddenly turns into “All people are weird”. And being a little different never hurt anyone anyway?

PS: Some of the most creative people are the bureaucrats and ministers in Singapore. (You surely need creativity to make rules, not to follow them.) You will agree that they are far from being weird!

Myth 4: Only the creative types have creative ideas.

We all have this mental image of the ‘creative types’ complete with the goatee, piercings and the coffee mug. Well, these ‘creative types’ in most cases are creative and are able to come up with ideas but that does not preclude everyone else from being creative as well. The fact is, almost all of the research in this field shows that anyone with normal intelligence is capable of doing some degree of creative work. Creativity depends on a number of things: experience, knowledge, technical skills, talent, an ability to think in new ways and the capacity to push through uncreative dry spells. Intrinsic motivation is especially critical.

Myth 5: Creativity is spontaneous.

This is certainly true. We have all experienced that brilliant moment, when seemingly out of nowhere, we get some brilliant idea. It can happen, anytime, anywhere (it usually happens to me when I am shaving). But the opposite is not necessarily untrue. Creativity can be worked upon as well.

Ideas, concepts, images, tunes, and phrases do pop into consciousness for no apparent reason, but scientists have discovered that creativity is mostly conscious, hard work. Mozart’s ‘spontaneous inspirations’ were no accident. Mozart worked incredibly hard and was enormously productive. He came out of an era in which the musician was related to the craftsman. Craftsmen don’t wait for spontaneous inspiration. They get to work.

Myth 6: Creativity only applies to science and the fine arts.

This one I completely disagree with. Creativity can enhance and enrich each and every experience be it work, relationships, investing, sports and even accounting! To be alive is to be creative and to be creative is to be alive.

Myth 7: Pressure situations spark creativity.

To each his own is what I say. High pressure situations work for a lot of people. People come up with wonderful ideas with their backs to the wall. At the same time, relaxed situations and environments also tend to spur ideas in a lot of people. The key is to identify what works best for you.

Myth 8: Competitive situations foster creativity better than cooperative situations.

Reminds me of the capitalism vs. communism debate! Competition causes lots of ideas to be generated and sometimes companies create an environment where the employee with the best idea is rewarded. While this method does work, it works for all the wrong reasons. By keeping ideas to themselves, the employees don’t allow ideas to be refined by anyone else’s input. They just work silently on their own and hoard up ideas for the opportune moment.

Collaboration gives an extra something to even the best ideas. Without it, the idea is limited by just one person’s perspective. It could have been helped along by a couple of more minds.

Myth 9: Creativity is a specialist’s role.

It’s amazing how many people discount ‘professional’ creativity as something reserved for people like designers and writers. Not true! In fact, I’d argue that just about any job can be helped by a healthy dose of creative thinking.

Myth 10: Creative people always have great ideas.

Most creative people only have a few great ideas out of a barrel-full. It’s these few “gems” that make the process worthwhile for the dreamer. They too encounter failure like anyone else. But then failure drives them to try harder the next time.

]]> http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/myths-about-creativity/feed/ 2 http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/3-myths-related-to-training-and-learning/ http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/3-myths-related-to-training-and-learning/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:17 +0000 Shalu Wasu http://tickledbylife.com/site/?p=287 Myths have a way of perpetuating themselves. There are quite a few related to training and learning too. Everyone seems to believe in them. So much so that they have become sacrosanct and no one even bothers to question them.

When I heard some for the first time, it was in the context of a training program that I was myself going through. My first reaction was: ‘Wow! That sounds incredible.’ In the enthusiasm of the collective wows that were generated, I accepted the myths as truth.

But I soon realized I was not comfortable believing in them. Intuitively, I knew they could not be true.

Now all these myths seemed to be backed up by solid research though. So I wondered if I was being my usual arrogant self by questioning these supposed universal ‘truths’.

But I started my probe anyway and what I found really warmed my heart! These were myths for sure, very similar to urban legends that get popularized without any sound basis. Read on and join me in smashing them.

You remember 10% of what you read, 20% of what you hear, 30% of what you see and 90% of what you do.

This is a widely repeated statement by trainers all over the world. Maybe you’ve been subjected to this statement at some time as well. I hope you have not made it though! The round figures are easily remembered but completely wrong.

The findings can be traced to one D.G. Treichler, an employee of Mobil Oil Company, who put forth these figures in 1967.

However, the NTL Institute for Applied Behavioral Science has laid claim to the figures, saying they are based on research in the early sixties and bizarrely adding that ‘we no longer have – nor can we find – the original research that supports the numbers’.

Though, there are many arguments against these figures, one that is most obvious is that all the percentages are perfectly round. What research into human behaviour ever resulted in four different round numbers?

In communication, only 7% of the meaning is conveyed through the speaker’s words, 55% through his facial expressions and the rest 38% through tone of voice.

I am sure you have come across this lulu too, especially if you have attended communication or NLP programs. In one sweeping statement, words are reduced to an insignificant role in the great game of communication.

Yet, when we think about this deeply, the fallacies start becoming obvious. Is it really possible that if I get lost in Shanghai and ask a passer-by for directions, I’ll have to work out the correct route mostly from their facial expressions and tone of voice, and not from the words they use?

The findings are attributed to research done by Mehrabian but, in reality, they are just a distorted version of what Mehrabian himself has to say on his website. He expresses the results of his research in the form of an equation:

Total liking = 7% verbal liking + 38% vocal liking + 55% facial liking

He explains that “this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e. like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable.”

We use 10% of our brain (or anywhere from 1% to 15% depending upon where you have read it).

This one is so popular, even Albert Einstein is usually roped in as one of the endorsers! The media too has played a role in orchestrating this myth. Many of us therefore look at it as given.

Scientists have tried for years to change this misconception. They have clearly stated that there is no scientific evidence to suggest that we use only 10% of our brains. In fact it is very hard to say what using just 10% of your brain means.

It could mean that I could cut 90% of my brain and be just fine or that I just use only one out of every ten nerve cells at any one time. Let’s attack this one with common sense.

First of all, it is obvious that the brain, like all other organs, has been shaped by natural selection. Brain tissue is metabolically expensive both to grow and to run.

It strains credulity to think that evolution would have permitted squandering of resources on a scale necessary to build and maintain such a massively underutilized organ.

Secondly, losing far less than 90 percent of the brain to accident or disease has catastrophic consequences. Various medical tests reveal that there does not seem to be any area of the brain that can be destroyed without leaving the patient with some kind of functional deficit.

Likewise, electrical stimulation of points in the brain during neurosurgery has failed so far to uncover any dormant areas where no percept, emotion or movement is elicited by applying these tiny currents.

Having dug hard and deep, I find no evidence at all to support this myth.

The most powerful lure of the myth is probably the idea that we might develop psychic abilities, or at least gain a leg up on the competition by improving our memory or concentration.

All this is available for the asking, the ads say, if we just tapped into our most incredible of organs, the brain. It is past time to put this myth to rest, although if it has survived at least a century so far, it will surely live on into the new millennium.

The next time you are subjected to this one, just ask the speaker politely “Oh? What part don’t you use?”

Read these interesting articles to find out more about these myths and other myths related to training and learning.

Myths about adult learning

Myths about coaching

We use 10% of our brain

Myths about communication

Myths about NLP training

Myths about train the trainer

You’ve probably heard this left/right brain dichotomy before. It goes something like this: the left hemisphere of the brain is logical, deductive, mathematical, etc., while the right hemisphere is artistic, visual and imaginative.

The idea stems at least partly from the classic studies of split brain patients performed by Sperry and Gazzaniga in the 1960s. At an intuitive level, I do not agree with this, so I decided to do some research and this is what I found.

There are some functional asymmetries in the brain, and it is true that certain regions of both hemispheres are specialized for particular functions. Speech illustrates this, but also shows that nothing is ever so simple when it comes to the brain.

In most right-handed people, speech is processed in both hemispheres, but predominantly in the left. In some left-handers, speech is processed either predominantly in the right hemisphere or on both sides.

All complex behaviours and cognitive functions require the integrated actions of multiple brain regions in both hemispheres of the brain.

All types of information are probably processed in both the left and right hemispheres, perhaps in different ways, so that the processing carried out on one side of the brain complements, rather than substitutes, that being carried out on the other.

Every mental faculty seems to be shared across the brain, with complementary contributions. It is the combination, not separation, that matters. The mutually exclusive model has all but disappeared from the literature.

People can no longer be characterised or caricatured as right and left brainers. This is now seen as a primitive form of simplistic labelling or phrenology.

It seems like a situation where some results from a study a few decades ago have been extrapolated, distorted and stretched to build this story.

So the notion that someone is “left-brained” or “right-brained” is absolute nonsense. It is like arguing that my left eye is better for movies and the right one is better for reading the newspaper!

Overall, I can’t care less about this whole thing. What matters to me, is not which part of my brain my creativity resides in, but the fact that it does and what I can do to nurture and enhance it.

Shalu is a Singapore based creativity consultant and trainer. His next creativity workshop – ‘Success though creativity and innovation’ is on the 30^th and 31^st October at NUS Extension. To find out more, click here.

]]> http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/right-brain-left-brain/feed/ 2 http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/forcing-yourself-to-get-up-early-in-the-morning-is-pointless/ http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/forcing-yourself-to-get-up-early-in-the-morning-is-pointless/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 12:22:56 +0000 Shalu Wasu http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/?p=3782 A google search on early rising gives 1,500,000 results. Amazon has 6699 books on getting up early.  Countless self-development ‘gurus’ have written books and articles that extol the benefits of getting up before your friendly neighbourhood rooster does. They have together compiled a list of 10,349 bullet points on why you should get up early and another 14,349 points on how you can make sure you get up early. These methods vary from the mundane to the creative. (My favourite is where you slip in the alarm clock in the underwear of your spouse at night. You are guaranteed to wake up when the alarm rings – I’ve tried it.)

I must admit I am a bit tired of it all. Why should I get up early in the first place? What have I got to prove?
So here are 10 points about why you should stay up late and still not feel bad when you come across another article by the self-help gurus who preach getting up early in the morning!

Why you should stay up LATE!

1.    There is nothing ‘natural’ about getting up early in the morning. It perhaps made sense a few hundred years ago when sunlight was the only source of light and you could only get your work done when the sun was shining – so getting up early was required to maximize working time. This argument does not hold anymore – at least in places that have electricity. (If you are reading this, your house/office has electricity).
2.    It is a myth that you ‘save time’ by getting up early. Well, each day has 24 hours and if you sleep for 6 hours, you have 18 hours to do everything else, irrespective of when you sleep and when you get up.
3.    If you get up early, you’ll need to sleep early. If you sleep early, you miss out on all the exciting stuff that happens late at night! Most people start winding down around 8pm and are off to bed soon after. Most people have 1-2 hours of leisure time in the evening before they sleep. But this amount of time is not really enough to plan anything meaningful. On the other hand if you know that after finishing dinner at 9pm, you still have another 3-4 hours, it just opens up so many possibilities. You can read a book, watch a movie, work or simply talk.
4.    Toiling away late into the night while the rest of the world sleeps is such a beautiful feeling! It is so still and quiet.
5.    To just look out of your window or balcony at 3 am is such a moving sight. The whole city is bathed in a warm yellow glow, everyone is peacefully asleep, even your noisy neighbour. I would not miss the feeling for anything.
6.    Some of the meals that I have enjoyed the most have been the late night snacks that I had while I was studying at IIMA. We used to get very hungry when we studied till late and either we used to cook up something around 3 in the morning or walk down to the NR (night retreat – a late night in-campus restaurant). If you haven’t had a meal at 3 am, you’ve been missing something.
7.    There are few things as surreal as a late night jog through an otherwise crowded place (during the day). It is a wonderful feeling to go for a jog around 1 am and just notice the stillness around you. It is amazingly peaceful and you get great ideas as well!
8.    I am at my productive best when I work late. There are no distractions, no noise, no school bus to miss, no newspaper headlines to read. Knowing that there is nothing else between now and sleep time except what I am working on right now is a nice feeling.
9.    When you sleep late, you will usually get up late and that can be so effective because you will do the boring/usual/essential stuff very quickly indeed. It is so much fun to get ready in a hurry. You find out just how quickly and efficiently you can shave among other things.
10.    It is an amazing end to the day if you have been working late and have been able to do some good work. The feeling of satisfaction and contentment that you get as you lie down and close your eyes is not matched by anything else.

So, stop fretting about what time to get up in the morning. Getting up early seems to work for a lot of people, but it is not for everyone. The only way to find out the hours when you are most productive is to experiment. So try getting up early for a few days and try moving to a different pattern every few days. Stick to the one that feels most natural and productive.

Read another point of view here - Addicted to the snooze button?

We have a persistent feeling of events receding into a past of non-existence. The future is a nebulous void. The present moment is all that we experience and therefore grant it a higher level of existence.

But as soon as we become aware of the present moment, it turns into the past. It is like the flash of lightning that appears and disappears. As events flow in succession, we are left wondering what this freaky ride from birth to death is all about.

Apparently, time is a continuum consisting of the past, the present and the future.

Generally, when we think of time we think of the ways in which we measure the passing of time such as hours and days. We do not think of time itself. Time is seen as a measuring system that we use to sequence events.

But what is it that we are measuring?

We may say that the next train will come in 45 minutes. While this information is useful, it says nothing about what it is that we are measuring. What interests me is the nature of the ‘interval’. What happens when time passes?

A bud blossoms into a flower. Once in full bloom, it starts withering away slowly. Everything around us goes on changing. What brings these changes about? The obvious answer is time. But what is time?

Time is what life is made of. Time is what we have when we are alive. As a necessary attribute of existence, it is very obvious. And yet, it completely eludes us as it has no form.

HOW WE SENSE TIME

Time is the main factor for the ‘persistence’ of existence and for the change to happen. Interestingly, change is caused by time which in turn enables us to perceive change.

Time is a convenient paradigm to register the movements of the earth, the moon and other bodies in the space. Time is measured by motion and it also becomes evident through motion.

Time is the framework that allows us to put experience in perspective by placing events sequentially. It isolates events occurring in the same physical location. It prevents everything from happening simultaneously.

Different people perceive time differently. Even the same person perceives it differently at different times.

When we are engaged in an activity we love, time seems to fly. We experience timelessness. When we are doing something unpleasant, time seems to drag. Different stimuli alter our perception of time.

Small amounts of time are seen in a cyclical fashion – 24-hour clock, 7-day week, 12-month year – all repeating themselves. Long stretches of time, however, are seen in a linear fashion as they stretch on before us.

Time also appears to pass more quickly as one gets older. According to Stephen Hawking the perception of time is a ratio between the unit of time and time lived.

For example, one day to a one year old would be 1:365 while one day to a forty year old would be 1:14610. Therefore, one day appears much longer to a child than to an adult, even though the measure of time is the same.

All of which means that time is only in our mind!

TIME AND THE RELATIVITY THEORY

The universe is said to have emerged as a result of the Big Bang some 13.7 billion years ago. Before that, all matter was packed into an extremely tiny dot. That dot also contained the matter that later came to be the sun, the earth and the moon – the heavenly bodies that tell us about the passing of time.

Before the Big Bang, there was no space or time. The concept of time and space began exactly when the universe started expanding with the Big Bang. Space happened as the universe expanded. Time happened so that the changes in space could be noticed.

If space has three dimensions, time is the fourth one that reveals the movement of the objects in three-dimensional space.

Einstein says that we can imagine all of space and time represented as a four-dimensional space-time combo, which embodies all of the past, the present and the future of the universe.

According to this theory, the past, the present and the future have the same level of existence. Since our senses can’t absorb the totality of the space-time combo at once, we absorb it in parts.
What we absorb at a given time is called the present. What has already been absorbed is the past. What is yet to be absorbed is the future.

According to Einstein’s relativity theory, we have this illusion of a changing, three-dimensional world, even though nothing changes in the four-dimensional space-time combo.

The relativity theory also gives rise to the concept of time travel that involves moving backwards and forwards in time. Though theoretically possible, it is not known how far it is practical.

LIVING IN TIMELESSNESS

Finally, here is an interesting fact about a tribe, which is in perfect consonance with the relativity theory!

The language of the Hopi contains no words or expressions or grammatical forms that even remotely refer to time. For them, there is no such thing as the past, the present or the future. For them life is one big timelessness.

Now, however plausible the relativity theory may be, I am personally not comfortable with it. What I intuitively reject is the presupposition that the future is pre-determined. Secondly, the concept of time travel violates the concept of causality.

And yet, for some reason, the idea of the Hopi living in timelessness fascinates me. I would be happy to live among them.

Who knows, dropping the concept of time may bring about an understanding of time – a temporal paradox that I would love to experience!

I have observed people from all fields across cultures, genders and education levels. The lag does exist, only the degree varies. It can be wide or narrow but I have not been fortunate enough to meet people whose talk and walk are without a lag.

People harbour two different personalities – one for walking and one for talking. I am no exception. But I am acutely aware of the incongruence. Here I expose the “oxymoronic me”:

1. I feel bad when  somebody demands bribe from me for getting things done but when I have a waitlisted train ticket I don’t mind paying bribe to have a confirmed ticket.
2. I don’t accept expensive gifts from my vendors but I maintain good relationships with my business associates by buying gifts for them.
3. As per the code of conduct, any money given, if receipted, is not corruption. Following this norm, I only comply with an accounting procedure. The official receipt is only a camouflage for the real intent.
4. I hate people who don’t confront tough issues. When I don’t want to confront an issue, I don’t take a telephone call and pretend to be in a meeting.
5. I say ‘yes’ when I don’t have the courage to say ‘no’ either because the person concerned is superior to me or I need to buy some time.
6. I am a celibate in the physical sense but highly lecherous at the mental level.
7. I criticise the government for their lack of meaningful policies for the growth of the country but I don’t even cast my vote at election time.
8. I am all for the strengthening of the Indian rupee but when the Indian rupee strengthened, I felt bad because the dollars I had earned during my trip abroad got devalued.
9. A value preacher smuggled a laptop when the import duty used to be 300%. The excuse was that such heavy taxation was unfair.
10. The height of being oxymoronic is that sometimes I am ok being oxymoronic and sometimes I feel bad about it.

My life began in Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry. I was given a book by The Mother of the ashram when I was sixteen. I read it but the words and the word pictures didn‚Äôt convey much to me at that age. The words were understood but not their implication. One sentence however stood out: “Then you will see that the world is standing upside down.”

Of course I could see that every one was on their legs quite upright. Then what was She saying? That sentence has always been at the back of my mind. Gradually as life unfolded, I could see that people were lying left, right and centre, very often for no reason. I wondered if this was what Mother meant.

Then I realised that people were maintaining a facade. They wished to be seen as honest, hardworking, sincere, capable, etc., while in their hearts they were looking for shortcuts, were totally insincere and insecure about themselves as they knew well that the qualities they were expecting others to see in them were not there. They knew well that they were living a charade but simply did not have the guts to live otherwise. What an upside-down way to live!

My own experience of life is that we are most of the time playing chess within our lives for no reason. For example when I was 10 or so, some boys wanted to steal mangoes. In the very first try we got caught. I decided then and there that there was no value in this cat-and-mouse game. The next time I wanted a mango, I just went and asked the owner and he gave me one!

Similarly, I see people fibbing on the telephone. The cell phone has made this even more imperative. First I see that everyone wants to be connected but when they do get a call, specially from somebody they do not want to talk to, they play games such as saying they are in the traffic, or make funny noises and shut the phone off or just keep on saying hullo many times as if they are not getting any signal from the other party. I often wonder why people complicate their lives so much.

It makes me laugh when I see people running after the opposite sex with all the guile and means at their disposal; then considering themselves lucky to have gotten their prize only to realise later that it was no happy-ever-after deal at all. But they go through the motions of reiterating their love and getting married even though they are totally unhappy with their lot. There may be exceptions but this is more or less true.

The same can be seen in the jobs they hold. They are proud to be what they are or at least they make a show of it even though they know very well they are just a cog in a big wheel, totally replaceable. Look at the possessions they have, they collect and collect goods around them and soon tire of them or want something better but in company or even to themselves would be loath to admit that they are not entirely happy with their lot.

The hollowness of our lives shows very clearly in our collection of acquaintances and the friends we make. Life’s needs and social necessities force us to behave totally contrary to our nature. The show of camaraderie is faked and tiresome but we go along because we dare not otherwise.

If this is not living upside down, then what is? I guess that deep down we are never happy with all this waste of emotional energy and time in keeping up appearances.

Pradeep Maheshwari is a Delhi-based author, personal growth frainer and marketing consultant.

The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposite ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. – F.Scott Fitzgerald

All behaviour consists of opposites…learn to see things backward, inside out, and upside down. – Lao Tzu

The Green Tortoise bus line operating with about a dozen old vehicles, made scheduled runs up and down the US West Coast and into the interior at about half the price of the Greyhound. Its owner Gardner Kent gave up trying to compete with Greyhound on price in the low fare business. Instead of hopelessly trying to reduce the journey time he did the contrary—he increased the journey duration – six rather than four days! He used the extra two days to build more ‘ fun’ into the trip Рgames, walks in the woods, fishing, etc. His business multiplied and he was able to take over
another bus service. His idea, a product of paradoxical contrarian thinking, produced extraordinary results. His fun trip strategy led him to a new segment, a niche opportunity made possible by the socioeconomic changes that turned travel into a pleasure industry.

Paradoxical thinking involves, among other things, switching to the opposite of what is conventional.

One of the most brilliant displays of paradoxical thinking is by scientist Faraday in the 1830’s. He had observed that a current of electricity passingthrough a wire could have the effect of causing the magnetized needle of a compass to deflect, that is, move in a rotational direction when a compass was located close to the wire. This was the basis of his invention of the electric motor. Faraday did not stop with this. He took a mental leap Рa gigantic one as it turned out. He reasoned that if an electric current could make magnets to move, maybe the reverse could also happen. Could a moving magnet cause electricity to flow? He found that it did. Thus was born the generator.

Typically our NRI relatives buy fancy things including gadgets at duty free shops elsewhere in the world on their way to India. The Government of Philippines had a similar situation at hand. Millions of their countrymen and women work all over the world. Noticing the huge gifts visiting Philippines were seen carrying across the arrival hall at Manila airport, the Government opened duty free shops at that airport so that NRP’s could buy gifts after their arrival home!! At the Manila shop one could buy even tractors. This shop has catapulted that country into the fourth largest seller
of such goods in the world.

The Philippines government reasoned that no matter what the world is doing one may gain enormously by doing the opposite – paradoxical thinking. Opposites are everywhere. Yet we hardly stop to think about these omnipresent opposites. Because opposites are in the background we do not see them. To be creative, we have to pull opposites out of the background and put them in the foreground where they will be clearly visible. It is said that a fish does not know that water exists – because the fish takes water for granted. We are like fish – we see so many opposites that we
take them for granted and do not notice them anymore. If we notice and handle opposites imaginatively we could all become creative.

Let us look at some commonplace ‘opposites’. Is a straight line the opposite of a curve? Of course, one may say. Yet a scientist will tell you that a curve is but an infinite number of straight lines. Is a square the opposite of a circle? ‘Obviously,’ is the answer. Yet it can be proved that both are polygons. If you keep adding sides to a square it turns it into a hexagon, an octagon and so on. The more sides you add the more it comes to resemble a circle!

The two opposite things are deep down the same thing. Can we learn paradoxical thinking? Of course, we can. Here is how.

Be open in your thinking. Openness, courage and curiosity are essential. Be particularly aware of the so-called absurd ideas floating in your mind. Note them down, dwell on them, play with them refine them. Openness also means you are open to learning new subjects unconnected with your profession. Listen, explore, be curious. Pay more attention to things you
have been ignoring or taking for granted. When you look at something, say a gadget, visualize how they would look and function if it were different in shape, size, etc. Ask yourself, can I change this into the exact opposite? Look at the rug on the floor. How would it be if we had rugs designed for the roof? Look at the lights on the roof and ask, how would it be if we had
lights on the floor? Recall that such products exist.

It pays to be sceptical. The more sceptical you are the better a paradox thinker you will be. You do not take for granted what others accept as a matter of routine. Examine customs, practices, rituals, conventions, fashions, etc.

Paradoxical thinking is one of eight skills related to intelligence. The others are memory, logic, judgement, perception, intuition, reason, and imagination. Paradox is perhaps the least used of these skills. It involves the ability to reverse, manipulate, combine, synthesize opposites.

In their path-breaking book Built to last РThe successful habits of visionary companies, authors James Collins and Jerry Poras write that companies that survive are those, among other things, that do not oppress themselves with the ‘tyranny of the or’ Рthe rational view that cannot easily accept paradox, that cannot live with two seemingly contradictory forces at the same time. The ‘tyranny of the or’ pushes people to believe that things must be either A or B, but not both. The authors have demonstrated that organizations that have liberated themselves from this tyranny go on to
grow exponentially and are seen as extremely innovative.

One last example: Is it possible to make a car that is as exquisite as a BMW or Mercedes Benz but does not cost a bomb? Quality and affordability – a paradox is what many thought but not in a Japanese company that came out with the Lexus which was a great example of paradoxical thinking.

KR Ravi is also South Asia’s first Dr. Edward De Bono certified public trainer in Lateral Thinking.

Integrating this awareness into your daily life is to develop the bipolar vision. Looking at the opposites together does not mean that the truth lies somewhere in-between but that both extremes are equally true depending on the context.
Developing the bipolar vision is to recognize that there are no neat, clear-cut, easy answers in life. Here are some everyday paradoxes. Enjoy them!

1. I am a dynamic go-getter pursuing my goals with full force. At the same time, I am fully contented and happy with the way things are.
2. I am an insignificant creature in this huge universe. At the same time, I am the centre of the universe.
3. I am the wave. At the same time, I am the ocean.
4. I am equally comfortable being a prince and a pauper. I enjoy my possessions and when I lose them, I don’t feel sorry at all.
5. If I get the job, it’s fine. If I don’t, it is fine too.
6. If the train arrives on time, it’s fine. If it doesn’t, it is fine too.
7. Nothing is random and arbitrary. Nor is it fixed and predetermined.
8. While it’s important to have self-confidence, it’s equally important to have self-doubt.
9. Life is tough. It’s a breeze too.
10. While discipline is important for growth, too much discipline can kill my creativity.
11. When I add condiments to a dish, the taste improves. But if I overdo it, the taste deteriorates.
12. When I sharpen a knife too much, it becomes blunt.
13. Finally, the unipolar vision is one kind of vision and the bipolar vision is another kind of vision. Both are okay.

There is a tendency to criticize the two brothers for their inability to work together. The general perception is that they were not being good brothers and they did injustice to their deceased father who had built the industrial conglomerate from scratch.

But that is only a conditioned response.

Both Mukesh and Anil are highly individualistic and creative persons. Since they did not share great vibes, they could not probably give full vent to their creativity when they worked together.

After the split, both are doing things their own way. They are more deeply involved with what they do. Now they are free to use their creative potential to the full. They are at liberty to do what they want.

Earlier, there was one centre of growth. Now there are two. Since both of them want to do better than the other, they are sure to grow at a pace faster than it would have been possible if they had held together.

By going their separate ways, they have done a world of good to themselves, to each other, to the stake-holders of their companies and to the Indian economy as a whole. United, they would have withered. Divided, they bloom.

When a bad marriage ends, it is time to rejoice!

He then told me tales of the astronomical wealth and privileges that this class of aristocrats enjoyed that would put to shame the czars whom the ‘revolution’ overthrew.

The very next day I read this news item in the Indian media on my internet about the Lok Sabha speaker  Somnath Chatterjee refusing to attend a meeting  of the International Parliamentary Union at Geneva. That’s when my computer conked off. I was in ecstasies extolling Chatterjee for deciding not to waste time and tax payers’ money on yet another fruitless talkfest.

‘This guy is a rare guy. We need more politicians like him,’ I told my wife.

‘Why, what happened?” she asked.

‘Wait till you get my computer working,’ I replied.

A minute later my computer expert wife announced that my gadget was fit for operations.

‘Just visit the India Express website and see for yourself what the greatest Bengali after Saurabh Ganguly in the 21st century West Bengal has done.’

She read with avid interest but as she read, her eyes grew red and her looks intense till she burst out in wrath, ‘What the hell is this? Don’t rush to conclusions. Read it yourself.’

She all but threw the computer at me. It was then that I learnt that Chatterjee’s decision had nothing to do with any lofty sentiments but was because of his outrage at the thought that he would be frisked at London Airport! It was then I thought of what my New York cabbie told me Рthe ‘oligarchs’.

But then Chatterjee is a communist and we claim to be a socialist country. So we may not have oligarchs. But with Indian ingenuity we have come up with a new concept – the elected aristocrats!

Our leaders are given many privileges that would make our old Maharajas blush in embarrassment. The privy purses for Maharajas may have been abolished but there is now institutionalized largesse for our netas.

On my last visit to Chennai, I was shocked at the way policeman skewed me out of the Dr. Radhakrishnan Salai onto the dirty sidewalk as the cavalcade of more than a dozen cars escorted the state Chief Minister. Some bushy-moustached, gun-toting men in jeeps appeared to train their AK 47s on me. I felt I was being suspected of being a terrorist.

Even Robert Vadra enjoys rare privileges including exemption from being frisked at airports. Just as Ganshiji is called the father of the nation, maybe Vadra could be officially anointed as the son-in-law of the nation, rashtra damaab in Hindi.

Come to think of it, Somnath Chatterjee is right. How dare a London security man frisk a Lok Sabha Speaker at whose command many an MP shivers in his dhoti and on whose rebuke MPs from Bihar and UP stop rushing to the well of the House and refrain from wrenching microphones and hurling them at other members!

I recollect seeing photographs of Bill Gates being frisked at Congress where he frequently makes an appearance to give testimony on policy issues. But who is Bill Gate compared to our netas? Just a sidelight.

In the grand tradition of Maharajas giving titles of honour to their loyal subjects, an organization in Chennai has recently conferred some interesting titles to three of the Tamil oligarchy.

Karunanidhi has been conferred the ‘Periyar’ award, his son Stalin gets the ‘Karunanidhi’ award and loyalist Minister for Power Veeraswamy the ‘Annadurai’ award! Veeraswamy gushed, ‘This award is better than a Nobel Prize.’ Nothing surpasses this for sheer nobility!

Actually, these do-gooders are like Procrustes, the robber who kidnapped strangers and forced them to fit perfectly into a bed by either cutting off or stretching their legs. Values and laws are like the Procrustean bed. With pre-determined notions of good and bad, right and wrong, many societies are nothing but police networks. If you don’t fit the system, you are locked up in jail.

It was Lao Tzu who pointed out centuries ago that an abundance of laws produce an abundance of thieves. The increase in crime then ensures that policemen and judges get their salaries and perks. Just as laws are responsible for crimes, economists are responsible for the poverty in the world. Then these very economists are needed to alleviate the very same poverty that they created in the first instance.

Similarly, psychiatrists are the main cause of mental disorder among people. Parents who are keen to correct their children only end up passing their own anxiety to them. The children, in turn, display the same anxiety to correct things around them. Writers of self-help books, with their emphasis on methods, have robbed people of their natural instincts. Fairly intelligent people have read themselves stupid without benefiting from self-help literature.

In their zeal to correct people, moralists and self-help teachers are like the monkey who, wanting to save the fish from drowning, offers to carry it up the tree. The fish is perfectly happy being in the water but the monkey forces his own values on it! A moralist is indignant and intolerant and wants goodness to prevail at all costs, mostly at the cost of goodness itself.

But goodness can’t be enforced. When we teach goodness through moral imperatives, we are being harsh. Then we are not teaching goodness but harshness. Goodness after all is a direct outcome of love and compassion. A compassionate person is never indignant. He has no intention to set the world right. He lives his life based on compassion and has a way of touching others and transforming them without even their being aware of it.

It would seem that moralists are as much a threat as criminals. But years of evolution have given us just the right ratio of each type of person we need. It is in the nature of the things that there are just enough moralists and just enough criminals at a given time. So too there are just enough healers and just enough sick, just enough doers and just enough lazy people, just enough creative people and just enough idiots, and so on.

So do-gooders do have their place in society. Which means it’s ok to have laws. But then it’s ok if the criminal breaks them, if the policeman arrests him, if the judge gives him sentence and if the suffering criminal curses the society for its irrational laws.

With that kind of overview we are not likely to get upset at the seeming excesses of either the moralist or the criminally-inclined. The overview can do us a lot more good actually. We will have less of resentment, less of anger. We will not find fault with everything habitually. Why, we might as well develop love and compassion too which the moralist wants to enforce at all costs!

An unknown Taoist said a long time ago: It is true that this society is going to the dogs but the only way to stop it from doing so is not to stop it from doing so! Things always sort themselves out in ways that we can’t even begin to fathom.

Finally, it is ok if some of you do-gooders are indignant at the tone of this piece. It is ok too if I am indignant at your sense of indignation. Cheers!

In tackling the issue of how to compete with the Coke bottle, Sculley made
what is called a metadecision. He asked himself a few crucial questions. What is the crux of the issue? How should problems like this be
approached? He realized that the heart of the problem was not to compete
directly with Coke’s bottle (Pepsi’s focus in the past) but to nullify its
strengths. He decided to approach the problem by shifting the ground rules
to alter the whole playing field, pulling back and asking what the customer
really wanted.

Realizing that his people did not know enough about consumers to identify
what they really wanted in order to take marketing decisions correctly, he
launched a careful test to study how families actually consumed Pepsi and
other soft drinks in their homes. It became obvious that what the customers
wanted was packaging that made it easier for people to get more soft drinks
into their homes. Then Sculley moved into the first of the four stages in
decision making – framing the issue, which in this case was launching of
new larger and more varied packages. Pepsi began a new intelligence
gathering stage, and then, based on the findings, launched a new group of
larger packages and thereafter continued to refine the packaging. The results
were dramatic and Pepsi’s market share expanded substantially and almost
drove the Coke bottle out to extinction. Coke could not convert its famed
hour-glass silhouette bottle into larger containers.

What Sculley did is of immense significance to decision makers – take time
for an initial assessment, in which you ask yourself how this kind of decision
should be made. This activity of deciding how to decide is called
metadecision.

In the metadecision phase, ask yourself these questions:

1. What is the crux or primary difficulty in this stage? Which of the four
stages in the decision making process will be the most important?
2. In general how should decisions like this be made? Where do my own
strengths and weaknesses lie? Where do I need help?
3. Can I draw on feedback from related decisions and experiences that I
have faced in the past?

The four stages of decision making are:

•    Framing – it determines the viewpoint from which you look at the issue
and set the parameters as to which aspect of the subject  you will
consider important.
•    Gathering intelligence Рgathering knowable facts and options, and
evaluation of unknowables.
•    Coming to conclusions Рa systematic approach to taking a decision.
•    Learning from experience.

Metadecision Vs. ‘Plunging’

Meta decision should take place before you frame the issue. ‘Plunging’ into
the various stages of decision making can lead to disastrous consequences.
Not devoting sufficient time and effort to this phase may lead to you solving
the wrong problem thereby exacerbating the actual problem.

Take the case of a bank branch that was losing market share to its rivals. The
branch management decided that the only wayout was to aggressively
‘plunge’ into a marketing exercise. The officers were asked to jump headlong
into a ‘deposit mobilization’ exercise and virtually three quarters of the
branch staff were in the field all day. At the end of the two-month exercise,
the deposits actually fell further. When I was asked for advice I sat with the
branch officials and initiated a study involving customers who had closed
their accounts during the last year. The study revealed that they were
dissatisfied with the quality of customer service at the branch .The branch
thereafter decided to stop their outdoor marketing exercise and devote their
efforts to improving the level of customer service to existing customers. This
led to a significant growth in deposits.

In another instance a consumer durables maker approached me with his
problem – falling market share. His company was benchmarking against its
nearest competitor on all the major parameters and despite his quality and
other initiatives he could not improve his market share. I asked him to do a
metadecision exercise involving a survey of existing and potential buyers of
his product. This metadecision exercise turned out a new and profound
understanding of the market. The company implemented a plan of action to
solve the many hassles the buyers faced before and after buying the
product. The results were astounding. The company had as a consequence of
the insights from the metadecision, bypassed the competition.

A few insurance marketers approached me with a request to guide them on
how to market their insurance products in the face of growing competition
from the LIC and several other private sector players. They educated me on
the marketing strategy they had been taught and which they had been
following with limited success. It was apparent that they had followed a
strategy of ‘have product will sell’. They had been taught to ‘plunge’ into
action after gathering enough product knowledge, and follow the usual
marketing and selling tactics. I told them to take the metadecision approach.
They interviewed several existing and potential policy holders. This
metadecision stage revealed several insights as to what people expect from
an insurance policy—something that these advisors had not been told about.
The entire strategy had to be revamped and the majority of them have met
with commendable success.

The Union Human Resources minister Kapil Sibal — a man whom I respect and expect much from, announced that he is working on a 3-language formula as a ‘solution to the language problem.’ This formula involves students learning English, Hindi and a regional language implying one’s mother tongue. I am not sure if someone in say, UP will have to learn only 2 languages under this formula. Nehru had suggested that students in the north should learn any one southern language but he received no support. I wonder if Sibal has any such ideas.

However I have always maintained that it is the people in the natural course of daily life who can and have found a way out of this predicament. I have always admired the Indian spirit of adventure and enterprise that has resisted every attempt to repress them. Indians will do anything — migrate to any country on earth, take up any job under any conditions in order to survive and prosper. To an Indian, language is a tool to get going, exploit opportunities, stave off hunger and a leverage to prosperity.

For someone to talk of promoting a language as a tool of national integration — which is the argument for Hindi — is to assume that the average Indian has satisfied the ‘lower order’ needs in Maslow’s hierarchy. It also assumes that those who do not speak Hindi are not fully ‘integrated.’ I do not wish to get into details of the language debate here. Suffice it to say that not just the common man, but the highly educated elite will learn any language if it can help them climb the ladder to a better life. Don’t believe it ? Read the following extract from a news item:

Bridging the cultural gap, the IIM way
Rohit Bhan
Tuesday, October 06, 2009 (Ahmedabad)
China is now inspiring B-schools, as its dialects are centre stage in a new course at IIM Ahmedabad. It’s a 26-session course on Chinese business culture. Murlidhar, a student at IIM Ahmedabad, says, ”No matter where we go: the United States, Singapore, or Hong Kong, there are definitely going to be people from China. So to bridge the cultural gap in the near and short term, we are taking this course. Also, in the long term I see business opportunity could be explored there.”

It’s there for all to see — Indians will take to any language as long as it helps them to get ahead in life.

One more interesting aspect emerges from this news item. I have often been told that Tamil is a difficult language. It is another matter that a Tamilian may find Hindi equally difficult by the same logic. But I make a more important point….the people who say Tamil is ‘difficult’ will find that Chinese is far more difficult but will learn it any way because they know on which side their read is buttered. Ultimately many issues in India are bread and butter issues that surface in other garbs.

A final suggestion — how about some cross cultural training for us on understanding cultures of Indian states other than our own, the mannerisms and how to behave when we are in other Indian states? Anyone listening?

(1) I do not recall too many instances when a joint session of Parliament was called for listening to our Prime Minister make a policy statement and outline a strategy to tackle one of the many crises facing the nation. I am not content with the platitudinous speeches made by the Rashtrapathi or Pradhan mantri at the beginning of a Parliament session. These are lofty speeches that do not really address any crisis and in any case these are part of Parliamentary procedure and do not have the nation’s attention. When Obama spoke to the Houses, the entire nation was glued to the TV and I suspect many people elsewhere in the world also watched him tackling a much debated issue in the US, namely health reform.

(2) The very fact that the speech was devoted entirely to a single issue — health — is itself a telling point for us Indians. Let us take just health in India’s context. In the tenure of Anbumani Ramdas as Union Health Minister I do not recall any initiative to attend to the myriad problems in our health sector. Instead Ramdas was engaged in the single minded pursuit of Dr Venugopal. Eventually he managed to oust Dr Venugopal, a renowned surgeon, out of the AIIMS. Other than that, Ramdas tilted against windmills like asking Shah Rukh Khan not to smoke in movies. Surely there are far more critical issues to be attended to? The current Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad has been no different but this time there is a difference — the PM has pulled him up for non-performance.

(3) Considering the many areas where the situation is tragic:  education, power, infrastructure, Maoist violence, national security, etc, I would have thought that each minister at state and union levels would address the nation/state, and tell us what he or she intends to do and what results we can expect. Barring one or two, we have only silence as an answer. When did you hear our power minister for instance tell us what he is doing to solve our deepening crisis? How many can tell me who the power minister is?

(4) Now comes a crucial point. In the course of his speech Obama announced that illegal immigrants would not get medical cover. At this juncture Republican Joe Wilson shouted, ‘It is a lie!’  Many Americans were outraged but for a nation like ours this seems almost a term of endearment. I imagine that if Mayawati announces in the UP Assembly that the hundreds of crores she is spending for statues are for public welfare and the only response she gets from the opposition is a lone MLA shouting, ‘Ye sarasat jhoot hai,’ Mayawati will hug him in affection and assume that her idea has unanimous consent!

Over the years we have been seeing deterioration in the conduct of our law makers. Obscene acts like unfurling of dhotis happens more often than unfurling of our national flag. Chappals are hurled, microphones ripped apart, abuses exchanged, lawmakers rush menacingly to the Minister or Speaker…these are daily events that do not shock anyone any more.

If you think that these are the prerogative of rustic goondas who have made it to the legislatures, you may be wrong. To my knowledge all this was started by a scion of India’s royalty, the Gandhi family. It is Sanjay Gandhi and his band of rowdy MP’s who used to engage in shouting down those MP’s who had opposing views. The events of that era have been well discussed and need no elaboration here. Sanjay’s behaviour started a trend that has reached a new low these days.

But the fury of public anger at Wilson’s behaviour has now snowballed into a crisis for himself and his Republican Party. Mid-term elections are a year away and Wilson is in for a drubbing and his political career may well end. His party has asked him to apologize to the President on the floor of the House, which he has refused to do and is content to apologize to Obama directly. This incident — trivial by Indian standards, has made his party look like the BJP. The party looks adrift, leaderless, visionless, ungainly and lost in the woods. It has been said about South Carolina (where Rep Wilson hails from), is a state is that is too small to become a nation and too big to be a lunatic asylum. How would you describe some of our states? I invite readers to send me catchy lines for our states and our country.

Working in the software field, I face this situation many times. While working on complex codes, I always have the choice of either following the well-designed set way of programming or to be creative and challenge the accepted standards and myself. Needless to say, like most of the corporate zombies, most of the times I preferred to chicken out and stay hidden among the masses, hoping to somehow win the rat race unnoticed by anyone, and without answering any questions.

Then one day someone mentioned the story of Aristarchus, the Greek guy who had the brains to prove that Sun and not Earth, was the centre of the Solar System but not the ‘guts’ to say it out loud because the Church and its followers might not have liked it. It was on his deathbed that his genius came forward and his work was published. Unfortunately the usual set of tomatoes didn’t spare the head of the dying genius, but the point is, here I am writing about him even after a gillion years of his death! Anyhow, coming back to contemporary times, when someone mentioned this story to me, immediately the same thought materialized in my head as in any loser’s head….”Aww what a waste”… but…..yes there is big hairy “but” here….. I did something about it, unlike the other losers.

A fortnight later, I was given the task to prepare a quote for a client and was asked to use a set template, which was the standard since the CEO’s grandpa used to wet his diapers. I went about my merry way to fill out some silly little boxes in the Excel sheet and came up with a figure at the bottom. Quite pleased with my work, I was about to submit the report, when I had a Buddha enlightenment moment sitting under the glare of my computer screen. I thought of a way that might have been more useful than the current way, and in the heat of the moment, went ahead and prepared it, my way.

Sorry, to have an anti climax — instead of being appreciated for my effort (as expected obviously), I was ridiculed and was forced to do it the ‘great grandpa’ way by my manager. The funny part is, this apparent failure gave me a greater sense of accomplishment than ever before, and even after being yelled at for wasting precious time, I went home that day grinning and with a weird sense of pride. I may have failed that day but no failure is final and permanent. I went home with the overwhelming Clint Eastwood feeling of “I will be back as the final victor!”

My point is, next time you think you can challenge someone, and have the conviction in your work, go ahead. So what, if it isn’t the way world wants you to be? So what if it upsets the greasy old procedures which have been unchallenged? Set a trend, challenge them, and see how it feels.

If you feel that Einstein’s E=MC2 is not good enough, go ahead challenge the old weirdo, after all he flunked school while you completed it. Who knows, some time in the future, I will be written about for discovering that new template for quote, which modern people think is trash, and you might join my league for discovering a better formula for the mass energy equivalence.

Here are the two questions that had tormented me for years.
(1) Why do Indian politicians usually live long, often well past their sell by date?
(2) Why is idol worship — a Hindu practice — wrong?

Let me take up the first question — why do Indian politicians live past their utility value? I recall the papers reporting the sad and tragic demise of the Andhra Chief Minister, Y.S.R Reddy. I had a lukewarm attitude to the man but I was aware that he was very popular among the masses and among his otherwise squabbling party men. I was pained at the manner in which he met his end. Even as I was struggling with my emotions on his sad demise, I saw reports that in the 24 hours after the fatal accident, more than a hundred people either committed suicide or died of shock on hearing of the death of their beloved leader.

Now I believe that one can admire and even love a person dearly but does one have to commit suicide on the beloved person’s death? Why can’t one accept that life is ephemeral and no matter how great or powerful a man might be, he will have to die anyway. Death after all is the great leveller. But there is a streak of insanity in some of us that surfaces in moments of great turmoil that leads to self destructive behavior. I am afraid this phenomenon that was hitherto a Tamil Nadu speciality has now reared its head in Andhra Pradesh.

What was my Eureka moment? The events after Reddy‘s death gave me an answer to my burning question. Indian politicians have tremendous compassion for their supporters and are aware that their demise will trigger several suicides. Politicians obviously do not like others to take their own lives in such a manner. They prefer that this affection be transferred to their son or daughter who will be found standing next to the party chief at the funeral. But our clever leaders are certain that some die hard supporters will commit hara kiri. To postpone this inexorable event our netas live very long !

I had all along been cynical of such politicians but now that I saw them in a better light I can only say, ‘Ayushman bhava’ to people like Arjun Singh, Karunanidhi, Advani, Laloo Yadav, Shekawat, etc.

Now to that other matter about idol worship. I have addressed interfaith meetings in which Muslims and Christians have objected to idol worship. I have said that the Cross that adorns every Christian church, almost every Christian home and most Christian necks is an idol too. I have even talked of the human need to concretize the invisible, but in the Eureka moment I had received a fresh insight into this vexing question about idol worship.

What led to a new insight was a news item. Here’s an excerpt from the article:
LUCKNOW: Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Mayawati has now been painted in shades of divinity. A 25-year-old painter has projected Mayawati as a goddess in several paintings on display at Lalit Kala Akademi here. Mahesh Tripathi, who is pursuing post-graduation in fine arts, said: “I feel that she (Mayawati) in the last few years has done a lot for the poor and downtrodden, who in turn would enable her to acquire the status of a ‘devi’ (goddess) in near future.”

In one such painting titled ‘Dalit Devi’, Mayawati has been depicted as a goddess with a halo in her background, her hand held out as if she is blessing the viewer. “Like Guru Nanak and Jesus Christ, she has been devoted to the cause of downtrodden. Considering this fact, I depicted her as a Dalit goddess,” Tripathi, a resident of Siddharthnagar district, said.

Now I am not assessing the UP Chief Minister’s achievements. All I am saying is that once Hinduisim allowed idol worship here was no stopping the idolisation of anyone whom we could elevate into a deity. In the absence of a Pope or other spiritual authority, who can object to my friends erecting my statue as a god of Creativity, considering my status as a trainer, consultant and author in that subject? No one! I can become a god too.

I now have my strongest reason to object to idol worship, an argument that no Christian of Muslim had thought of before! Now before you call me Archimedes ka avatar let me hurry to my bathroom. Who knows what fresh insights I may come out with. But hereafter I shall be more careful when I rush out.

Man is born with an inherent capability to distinguish between good and bad. No law can match the reasoning of an evolved being. Each of us has a clear understanding of where we stand, what we do and what should be done. But we all differ in our capacity to accept it, so we keep ignoring it to a much or less extent. These few great men were the ones who had the total capacity and courage to accept and change themselves for the better. And then they dared to ask humanity to do the same!

Jesus, Gandhi and King, were authentic men, as Man was meant to be. They were a yardstick for human existence; a challenge to the baseness of mankind; an Everest to hills. But, they reminded fellow men of their pettiness and shadow energies that hide inside undetected and unprocessed. There is a very ancient saying that if you want to make one stick look small, place a bigger stick adjacent to it.

Executing those like Jesus, Gandhi and King was an effort to re-establish our self-granted “superiority” in some way. But when one brutally murders someone utterly innocent, the collective guilt remains and stains the landscape of humanity forever. It can never be washed away with platitudes and conscience-prompted deification. Calling them “god” or “godlike” is a subtle way to cover up the guilt of all wrongs that we did to them.

It is also an excuse for us to stay the way we are as “ordinary” human beings. Our excuse is that only gods can aspire to greatness. We want to remain at the lowest rung of existence because being base needs no effort. It is an easy path. All good men are made into “gods” and “mahatmas” and all the bad ones remain as mere humans. Adolf Hitler was a human, so was Joseph Stalin and Mao-Tse Tung and every other brutal dictator and murderer who ever walked this earth.

Disturbing little insight into the human psyche isn’t it?

Here is the gist of my talk:
Indian politicians have a habit that is much discussed in the US but is rarely practiced. Several studies by your institute have shown that many ailments are caused during the patient’s stay in a hospital in the US. Paradoxically doctors in this country, far from healing a patient actually cause diseases. If the habit I am referring to is acquired by hospital staff, the savings to the healthcare bill in the US will be at least $100 million a year and I am not counting the loss in terms of leave of absence, fall in productivity loss of morale etc.

At this point the audience got impatient and asked me to please enlighten them about this simple habit! I said that I was alluding to the habit of frequently washing hands! Indian politicians are known to wash their hands almost hourly. For example Laloo Yadav has washed his hands off the fodder scam and the daily allegations of misrule and corruption during his 15 year rule in Bihar. Six months from now Mayawati will wash her hands off the allegation that she had used tax taxpayers’ money for self aggrandizement by building statues of herself on every street corner in Uttar Pradesh. This is why India’s ruling class has remained unaffected by swine flu.

“What else can India teach the west?” I was asked. At this point I drew the audience’s attention to an Indian tradition that the west should aspire to emulate. In the west it is common for people to greet each other by kissing, rubbing cheeks and embracing. I suggested that they abandon such unhealthy practices and adopt the Indian namaste or the Muslim Adab arz hai.

The audience nodded appreciatively and wanted to learn more from India. I told them about the results of some informal research I had been doing in India and the US. In the Tamil Brahmin community it is customary to invite a priest to conduct ceremonies and pay him in cash and kind. The latter usually includes dhotis and towels. I was curious to know what the priest did with the over hundred dhotis and towels he receives every year. He replied that he sold them to a textile shop and received cash! I realized that I may well have bought the same dhotis and towels repeatedly. Recycling indeed!

In Mumbai one sees youngsters selling flowers at street corners. Readers may not know that these flowers are taken from graves where people leave garlands in memory of loved ones. Recycling again!

In the US, Indians customarily offer bottles of wine to the host of a party. These are inexpensive and are easy to pack and carry. I performed a small experiment. I made a small mark at the bottom of a bottle indicating my ownership and date of purchase. Then I found something revealing about Indians. The same bottle kept coming back to me every six weekends — it is on the weekends that parties are held. The interesting thing is that I got back my wine bottle from a totally different person! Indians here recycle the same gift over and over again. Talk of 6 degrees of separation.

How about shaking hands ? I suggested that American bureaucrats can learn several lessons from their Indian counterparts, known as babus. These babus are not as obese as Americans. Why? American bureaucrats consume enormous quantities of high sugar coke. Indian babus are content with chai paani. At the most he will accept bachhon ke liye mithai.

The babu does not like to shake hands since his palms have been greased as a protection — against the scorching Indian sun. This accounts for the absence of swine flu among bureaucrats in India.

Indians are ambitious and will seize any opportunity to go ahead in life. Right now millions of Indians have lined up outside the American Consulates in many cities in India. They refuse to listen to the consular officials shouting, “PLEASE DO NOT APPLY FOR H1N1 BECAUSE IT IS NOT A VISA.”

The funny part is that I have seen a few of these faces busily waiting for their baggage at the carousel and I use the words ‘busily waiting’ because of the impatience they telegraph through their actions and gestures. On one hand I am tempted to ask them which company they work for or own and invest in that organization. Because, all said and done, such intense effort would have rewards, right?

On the other hand I am also tempted to find out which organization they work for and try to decipher how much of this enforced urgency is actually productive and how it helps them, their team and the organization. Is this a function of our modern society where action is rewarded over inaction, even if the action might be counter productive? Or, is this a manifestation of insecurity and the projected ‘busyness’ is assumed to create an image of contribution, productivity and success to feel important and impress others?

My personal view is that this is more a reflection of a jumbled thought process and every new thought, memory jogged, stimuli received is enough to activate a fresh, new frenzy of action! Introspection and concentration are obvious casualties. Serenity is of course not to be considered at any point in time.

Lastly, such orientation is more reactive and feeds on itself to become repetitive, and deliberate, carefully measured responses no longer feature in the scheme of things. Every time, I am on a flight or elsewhere and I see these very busy people, I feel like holding up a huge sign in red saying “STOP, TAKE A DEEP BREATH!” Focus, concentrate and direct your thought, energy and action.

I am reminded of the advice Arjuna got in archery, when aiming at a bird’s eye. He was told that there is nothing else in the universe excepting the bird’s eye. Even the bird should cease to exist in the archer’s mind. Only then will the aim be true and the arrow hit the mark. A simple enough lesson followed more as an exception than as a rule. Most probably the modern day Arjuna might have a laptop with a telescope to aim at the target, while checking mail and also answering an important call through his blue tooth hands free. And most probably, he might be posting his status updates on Facebook and Twitter saying, “Aiming for the eye”. Most likely, the following status update would be, “Shucks, missed again”!

But there are exceptions. Ones which are better left untouched. At least till the time one finds one’s way around the system and its accompanying loopholes to enjoy happy, frequent and extended coffee-break moments 9 to 5. Of this hierarchy of horrors – the recasting of an old project that’s gathering dust is the most potent of plagues that has ever stunted the careers of many a bright and starry eyed broom-wielder. Don’t agree? Read on.

Long ago. One ashram. Four friends. Fast learners. Sharp brains. Guru’s pets. Complete education. Flying colors. Honor rolls. Campus placements – none then. Take blessings. Step out.

(A vast world! Make way. Roll carpet. Shower perks.)

Jungle ahead. Hack through. Path made. Deep inside. Bone seen. Intelligent all. Exchange glances. Opportunity beckons. Grab now. Showcase skills.

Bright Fellow (BF) – Number One: “Me topper. Redraw vision. This here. Is Lion.”
BF Two: “My specialty. Is Re-engineering. Skeleton built. Jungle King.”
BF Three: “Image builder. That’s me. Flesh, blood. Body, ready.
BF Four: “Turnaround specialist. Breathing life. Rise, Roar.”
Happy Lion!
Hungry Lion!
Learned men. Wise men. Bright men.
Know all – but one. How to climb trees to save ass.
They couldn’t.
End story.

Begin Moral.
Temptation is good; it spurs us to stoop to levels which we never knew existed; to soar to heights that any self-respecting executives can only dream of! But it should be gulped down with a pinch of caution. Especially when it comes to long dead projects that the previous management has dropped like a hot brick or potential fan-hitter in their occasional lapse into reasoning moments. For you know not why they were stowed aside or shoved under.

A viability report is the most you are allowed as a shining knight who is set for higher things. Not volunteering to execute the project, akin to breathing life into the beast.
Adamant still?
Reach now. Higher position.
Happy beginning.

CEO, #1, Captain, President, The Leader.
Who cares. It’s just business, moving parts, day to day. You can be replaced.

Mother. Father. Teacher.
Aside from single parents caring for little ones, you’re just not the only influence in your children’s lives. They may not even want to stick around when they grow up. You may never be thanked. They will find their way with or without you.

Lover. Partner. So-called Significant Other.
Replaceable. And God knows, as a partner, you can certainly be improved upon.

You’re one in a about six and half billion. A speck. A blink in the eye of God. A nano micro weeny zip in the eons of time and vastness of space. No one’s happiness really depends on you – no one’s. People can take care of themselves like they always have. It’s most likely that one hundred years from now, nobody will so much as mention your name.

You’re just passing through, and times flies.

Life will go on with or without you.

How does it feel to consider that?

Tune in tomorrow for Part Two.

On some occasions an NRI will come up with something specific and it is one of these that I shall discuss here with the purpose of highlighting an aspect of thinking skills that may go unlearnt.

My NRI friend emailed me a photograph of Mumbai that showed parts of the city in floods, reminiscent of the kind one usually associates with rural Bihar. I checked with my Mumbai friends and ascertained that the photo was an old one and every year it was recycled by NRI’s on the internet to paint a dismal picture of the city. However what is more important here is that the NRI argued that year after year the problem of flooding occurs and the administration acts as if it has been taken by total surprise — this I believe is largely true. He asked me why we could not solve this annual, predictable problem. On being asked what the solution could be, he said, “Why can’t they increase the size of the drainage system or even build a wall along the coast?” (The wall is supposed to keep high tide at bay).

Now it is here that I feel rigorous thinking may be lacking. Let’s look at the ‘increase the size of the drainpipes’ solution. Anyone who has been to Mumbai will tell you that considering the size of the roads, there is little scope to increase the radius of the drain pipes. Moreover the cost will be extraordinarily high — more than Rs 50000 crores for a marginal increase according to one estimate. In any case the critical issue is — can Mumbai or for that matter any city in the world keep on increasing the size of its drainage system to accommodate the needs of an ever increasing population?

The ‘wall along the coast’ solution is on the face of it too costly considering that Mumbai is an island. By far the bigger issue that often goes unrecognized is this — Mumbai has many problems of which the overflowing drains in the monsoons is just one. It is possible to argue that the flooding problem is annual but there are critical problems that affect people daily that need immediate attention.

Going further, Mumbai is just one part of the country and other parts are crying for more urgent attention for far more serious crises — children dying of starvation, farmers committing suicide, lack of basic medical facilities in rural areas, etc. When you look at the larger picture you will realise that our problems are myriad, immense, varied and have varying degrees of urgency and importance but our resources are limited .

I like to cite the parallel experience of a lower middle class father whose three kids make demands on his small salary. One kid wants a new skirt, another wants a drawing book and the third wants to go on a school picnic. Around this time his wife falls ill and needs medical attention that may cost Rs.1000. He himself is a diabetic and needs to buy insulin for himself that costs a small fortune. What can the man do?

That is exactly the situation that India finds itself in.

This may be difficult for an NRI to grasp because he lives in the US where resources are seemingly limitless. Look at the way the Obama administration coughed up close to a trillion dollars for bailing out banks and for a stimulus package and is now readying a healthcare reform package that can cause a dent of another trillion dollars when implemented. Meanwhile the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan swallow millions of dollars every hour, and the country may have no problem finding many more trillions to finance wars in Iran and North Korea etc should the need arise. Contrast this with our lower class man. What is the lesson to be learnt from here? That one has to put oneself into the shoes of the man who faces a problem and look at issues from his perspective. That solutions available to one person or country are not necessarily available to others.

In addition, it is incorrect to assume that India does not know how to solve its many problems.

I do agree that corruption, apathy, inefficiency, inverted priorities — some of these are by-products of poor resources — plague us but it cannot be denied that there is a serious need to appreciate the gravity of the situation and not resort to simplistic thinking. I hasten to add that I am optimistic that India will find solutions to the many problems she faces but this will take time and will call for innovative thinking on our part. Simplistic thinking or cynical criticism will not help.

Like many lower middle class fathers who have managed to get their kids educated enough to find a good job in an IT company that sent them to Silicon Valley, India too will grow. My cynical NRI friend is a son of one such family….

I think a foolish person (fool) is the one who knows, does and views things differently from wise men, as well as other fools. And that’s why neither the wise men nor the other fools comprehend, contemplate or communicate with him. And for the sake of convenience and respect the name given to this living being is “fool.” We always tend to relate foolishness to absence of common sense and knowledge. Fools are unwanted everywhere, because we feel they are just not worth our time and effort to be courteous and tolerant. But if you keep an open mind you may well realise that foolishness is not stupidity. It is thinking way beyond the logical, rational and unimaginative minds of wise people. I say this primarily for the following reasons.

Foolishness is not about a person, but a phase of life or a reaction to a situation.

You will agree that we all have been foolish in some instance, phase or stage of our lives. And we have seen the wisest of the wise men being foolish at times. For instance, scientists and researchers at NASA, had spent years and millions of dollars trying to find the right tool to be able to write in the space, since pens don’t work because of the lack of gravity. They then discovered that their counterpart in the then USSR (Russia), used pencils to solve the same problem. Now would you dare call NASA, foolish?

Even in our daily lives we make a mess sometimes due to our silly logic. But we call them ‘mistakes’, because these slip ups are not frequent or important enough to push us into calling ourselves ‘fools’. So the only matter of difference between the so-called ‘wise’ and ‘fools’ is of the frequency and magnitude of mistakes. Once you have crossed that line between predictable thinking and unpredictable thinking you are likely to be called a ‘fool’ by your contemporaries. To me it only means that you have gone beyond the thinking and imagination of your time and it’s time to move on.

To think fools are useless is foolish. All the real creativity that the world has ever seen came from those perceived as ‘fools’ or men thought to be ‘mad.’ It took some real madness to prove gravity with a falling apple. It took a real fool to assert than the earth was spherical when everyone else claimed it was flat. If Orkut or Facebook were to form a group of fools or mad people, it will surely have the following names registered: Copernicus, Isaac Newton, Archimedes, Aristotle, Galileo, Saint Kabeer, Mirza Ghalib etc. All of them, for most of their lives had been called ‘fools’ or ‘mad’ by contemporary society. It happened because they arrived in the world before their contemporaries were ready for them. So before we judge the ‘fools’ of our times, we need to wait for at least a century to confirm that they didn’t evolve into the geniuses of our era while we were stuck in the status quo wearing blinders.

I recently participated in a ‘heated’ dinner debate about which is the best season of them all. One person said “winter” for all the cosy comforts it provides. Another said “summer”, firstly because of school holidays and secondly for its importance in facilitating rains. But I stood firm on my favourite – the rainy season of course.

There’s something very unique and personal about everyone’s perception of rain. None of the other two seasons cause so many disruptions in our rigid, mundane routines. Even our surroundings seem to take on a new lease after the rains, sporting a new fresh and vibrant look. Getting to work late is actually acceptable because one has a good excuse. Umbrellas become the latest accessories and the raincoat, the in-fashion clothing.

This is the only season that affects all the five senses. Walk with me here:

Which is the best fragrance that a human nose can smell?
The smell of the soil after the first rains of the season.

Which is the most lovable sound to the ear?
The sound of rain droplets on a window pane, on a tin roof or in a lake.

And the best touch ever?
The feel of the rain trickling down on your hands from the spokes of the umbrella.

And which is the most wonderful sight?
The sight of a tall tree dancing to the tune of the drizzling rain and gusty wind.

What taste’s the best?
When it rains, just open your mouth and look up into the sky.

Do you know of any other season that could provide such joy and pleasure to all your senses? The summer and the winter are too harsh (especially our Nagpur version) to titillate the senses. And you cannot see, taste, hear or smell them. You can just feel them. And they can seem ‘good or bad’ subjectively.

There’s even a bit of spiritual potential to the rain. All spiritual science is predicated on controlling and focusing the senses. Rain teaches and enables the same. It demands so much out of you that you forget everything and just lose yourself in it. That’s a prime example of the bhakti rasa. The spirit of compassion, devotion and focused attention.

Rain overwhelms you. Can you imagine not talking of rain when it’s raining? Can you ignore the lightning and thunder that accompany it? How can you ignore it when it is drenching you without mercy? To me the unfettered impact of rain symbolises what means to be compassionate. Compassion is always all inclusive. And this is like the process of self-realisation. You focus all your senses on something, so much so that you are subsumed. And then when you have done this all that remains is your true “Self” and nothing else. No trappings, ego, niceties…nothing but the pure, essential You.

There is a counter voice that is worth considering seriously that has been voiced by people who are as concerned with social disparities as anyone  else. These voices suggest that  people who are said to be victims of an unjust caste system do not want the caste system to go away.

Think about this. Why would they say so even after being at the receiving end of a violent, iniquitous discriminatory system? Before we try to unravel the sources of such a counterintuitive line of thinking let’s look at a similar world view but in a different context.

A friend of mine who is a  top official in a multilateral institution in Washington DC,  went on a visit to his home town of Lucknow. Out of sheer nostalgia he visited his old school after a lapse of over 3 decades.
According to him,” ‚ÄòDuring my time and even till recently I had always considered my school as one of the best schools in India. This time I was shocked to find that my school had been transformed into a Hindi medium school. I met the principal ¬†and he explained, ‚ÄúAn English medium education is in our opinion elitist. Only the better off sections used to get the benefit of our education which has always been among the best in India. But we felt that we owe it to the underprivileged sections to be inclusive so as to give them a chance to move up the socio- economic ladder. Hence we converted ourselves into a Hindi medium school. Earlier children of I.A.S officers, top executives, doctors used to dominate our school. Now the cobbler‚Äôs son, the barber‚Äôs daughter, the domestic help‚Äôs kid study here.‚Äù

To be honest ¬†I was shocked at this¬† ‘inclusive method’. ‚Ä®Readers may rant me for being elitist — that to overthrow English language almost completely as this school had done — was to ensure¬† that the underprivileged remained underprivileged. ‚ÄúI am afraid,‚Äù I said,¬† ‚ÄòThat the school management had become victims of the Law Of Unintended Consequences. Their heart is in the right place but their minds are not.”

My contention is that in our desire to¬† ‘help‚Äô people we often sometimes end up doing the opposite. In this case an English language medium based education¬† would be the best guarantee of upward mobility for the kids.
“After all have you not prospered in your career due to your proficiency in English language?” I asked my¬† friend.

Sure enough I came across a few articles by Dalit writers in the English press in India that asserted that Hindi or regional language medium is another tactic by upper castes to deprive lower castes of the fruits of development. Take the caste  system  itself. Let us do some against- the- grain- thinking. Is it possible that many people whom we sympathize with for being  victims of an unjust system  actually do not want the caste system to be eradicated? Could it be that they dread the transformation of India into a casteless society?

Some writers contend that caste bonds, links and identity  are often the only source of identity and support that many people have. In an uncaring hostile world, with uncontrollable vagaries, many people find in their caste kin the only source of   emotional, financial, vocational, and identity- giving succour. Societies evolve their support systems for the distressed in the context of their own experiences. Thus my friend Atif who is an IT professor in the US found it ‘odd’ that many IT companies in India did not downsize their staff when there were no projects for them  to work on. He explained, “In the U.S these guys would have been sent home.”
I told him that the Indian practice of not sacking people the minute there was no project on the horizon was an enlightened policy in the light of conditions in India  where there is no social security net unlike in the US.

Thus in India where there is no social security net, where few people really reach out to others of a different caste — as a matter of¬† course many find in their caste brethren the only source of succour. Just ask yourself one question ‚Äì How often do we attend the funeral of our domestic help‚Äôs husband or child ? How often do we pay salaries to our maidservant for long absence due to illness? How does our attitude compare with our own demands of our employer for medical leave, reimbursement of ¬†medical expenses etc?

I have a suspicion that our politicians’ passion for overthrowing English language and insistence on Hindi or regional language instruction is motivated not by love of the language. There is something less edifying in operation here.

Karl Marx did some against the grain thinking when he wrote: ‘Give a man fish and he will expect  you to give  him fish everyday. Teach him how to fish  and you will lose a business opportunity.’

Is it any wonder that the CPM led government in West Bengal stubbornly kept English language away for  3 decades – a period that remarkably coincides with the decline of that state on almost any parameter?
Is it surprising that  so many politicians are after the jugular of  English language? Who can be more business minded than  our politicians? I do not deny that ultimately a child learns best in the mother tongue and that we must evolve  into a more equitable society. But that will call for more thinking against the grain.

The Art of Shirking

Mostly people are brought up to be up and doing; you do, you get. In this environment where everyone is up and about it requires a specific state of mind to flow against the river. I used to be one of those who would take a request personally. Later I often found all my efforts going down the drain because the other person had changed his mind or requirements. It is then I decided to act on anything only when asked three times.

People will ask you a service if you are available. So the first step towards freedom is to not make your-self available. There are a few ground rules for this.

If you have been tuned to act and be of service then you will have to retune yourself. Learn to keep at the back of your mind this thought: what will others say; what will they think of me; is it legal; is it really necessary? With all these considerations churning in your mind, you will rarely find time or the inclination to make the first move and by then hopefully the need to act will have passed or the situation would have taken care of itself. If you are unable to get the hang of my thinking here, spend time with a government functionary. You will see what I mean and learn a few lovely pointers.

We are surrounded by responsibilities as it is. And people around us want to take on many more. Given the nature of life we can’t always say no directly. The way out of this predicament is to put all one’s energy in planning how to get out of it. Search hard for excuses and reasons or excuses couched in the garb of reasons.

• Raise objections; don’t attempt to be logical.
• If the other guy is sensible he will see through the playacting and leave you alone. If the responsibility is forced down your gullet and things go wrong later, you can always crow about how you had warned about it.
• Convert everything into an argument. Let the other guy explain himself get himself all tied up in knots. Later on you can use the confusion to slip out of any commitment.
• If you are attacked just smile sweetly and look apologetic and create another long argumentative discussion.
• When confronted by reality and there is no way of running away from a face to face meeting with a person you cannot afford to displease, – smile, be accommodating, agree and make promises. Then as soon as good form permits say your good byes on a happy note and scram. As soon as you are out of earshot, forget the whole thing. No point in burdening your memory with non-essentials. The guy will never realize how insincere you are and will hope and wait for some time and perhaps even call you on your mobile to find out how things are shaping up, then as time is a great healer and helps to forget, things will pass into the past and life will go on.
• In these circumstances it is good to have a dependant like an old mother, or dog or child around to take care of. They make wonderful subjects for excuses which cannot be overridden.

Soon after we met, my man and I were getting ready for a party. “I’m not good at parties,” I warned him. “What?! You’re like the public-speaking power chicklet.” “Noooo. I’m the girl in the kitchen who talks to one person all night and leaves without saying goodbye.” Give me a stage and I will rock the house. Give me a house party and you’ll barely know I’m there.
Authenticity is not an either/or equation. Your soul is an all-inclusive package – frills, foibles, and contradictions. It’s your opposing parts that leverage your magnificence into full force.

My extroverted introversion used to cause me great grief. Am I a sincere fake? The Boo Radley freak who doesn’t talk to neighbours? Surely, if I were more genuine and loving I’d be more outgoing. Sigh. None of it’s true. All of it’s true. I’m an outgoing Lone Ranger, a white Canuck who feels like a Nubian Queen on the inside, a fiercely loyal opportunist.

How to spot your contradictions:

•    When has someone said, “That really surprises me about you,” “I can’t believe you did that”?
•    Where do you feel the pull to compromise vs. rebel?
•    Guilt can be a primo indicator for inner truth tugs. What are your guilty pleasures or indulgences?
•    What do you save for special occasions (from your dancin’ shoes to your verbal affection)?
•    What would going “wild” look like for you?
•    What do you deny yourself?

Love your assorted ways

Now, aren’t you a curious critter? The Buddhist who knows every Metallica song by heart. The stay-at-home mom who wants to be a pole dancer. The Pro-Choice devout Catholic.
Don’t resign yourself to your idiosyncrasies. “Accepting” yourself is a passively lame option for full-tilt self love. Exalt your contradictions, celebrate them, go so far as to use them to your divine advantage.

Congratulations! You are large. You contain multitudes.

–

Danielle LaPorte founded www.whitehottruth.com, is lead author of the bestseller, Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design, and co-founder of www.carrieanddanielle.com. A former think tank exec, she helps entrepreneurs rock their careers with her signature Fire Starter Sessions. You can reach her at d@daniellelaporte.com.

My hypothesis is as follows.

We tend to eat more of a food item – say dosas – when we eat at home and less when we eat the same item in a restaurant.

Thus I would be satisfied with one dosa in a restaurant but would not be satisfied with less than three at home!

I decided to test if this was peculiar to me and others I know or if this was more common.

I sent a team of young college students to visit many restaurants in Chennai other than 5 star hotels. The team talked to diners after they had finished a meal of dosas and asked them why they had eaten only one dosa. Most diners were sheepish and embarassed but opened up with some cajoling.

The conclusion reached by the students based on their survey was:

Almost all respondents surveyed agreed that they would have eaten more dosas – varying from two to four –at home.

They ate less at hotel because they found it unaffordable. They felt that it was less expensive to prepare a dosa at home.

They ate dosas – or any other item for that matter – in a restaurant for fun and a change or when hunger came up suddenly or to entertain someone.

When asked to what extent it would have cost less to make a dosa at home they could not give any figures but were sure it was so.

All this is fairly predictable but I have a psychological explanation. People usually react to change in a parameter rather than the parameter itself. Thus eating many dosas at home does not register as an incremental cost to the monthly budget (unless taken to extremes) but when the waiter at a restaurant presents a bill it registers as a clear increase in one’s monthly expenses. The prospect of the bill showing up tickles the centre of your brain that governs the food satisfaction cells. Thus your limited financial resources make your brain signal satisfaction to your stomach after maybe one dosa. ‘Enough is enough’ says your brain to your stomach and you feel satisfied after one dosa.

In other words you react to the INCREMENTAL CHANGE in your expenses budget that eating out entails. I dare to suggest that we eat more if someone else foots the bill. Just remember your last meal at a wedding! Diners at 5-star hotels are usually expense account people and the brain works differently in such situations!
Look at another insight.

A friend of mine, a US-based NRI, once visited me at my Chennai home. It was December and the city was experiencing an unusual fall in temperature to the extent that some slum dwellers died. My NRI friend was amused to see people die at a temperature that he said would be called a ‘heat wave’ in his part of the US. I told him that people react to change in temperature rather than absolute temperature. Thus Chennaites are used to hot weather throughout the year averaging at above 30º celsius. When the temperature fell to 19º the poor, unhealthy and unprotected by even a shirt could not handle this CHANGE in temperature.

My friend seemed unconvinced. As bad luck would have it a few months later he told me that several people in his US city died when the summer temperature rose to 35 º Celsius – something that may not be called a heat wave in Chennai but was called so in the US city. Once again the people who died in the US city were poor, aged or sick people who could not afford air-conditioning.

I recall how shocked I was when I was first diagnosed to have diabetes. The change in my health status alarmed me. I consulted my astrologer friend to find what I needed to do to stave off danger. He told me that diabetes would bother me for only two years.

“Do you mean to say that after two years I would be cured?”

But my doctor said, “It cannot be cured. I did not say that you would be cured. I was trying to tell you that after two tears you would get used to the ailment and it would not bother you any more!”

Let me reach for my rasgoolas for a CHANGE!

And I said, you’re probably right. There probably is someone out there who is perfect.

But what would they want to do with the imperfect you.
What makes you think that the person you think would be best for you would have any interest in you. Who the heck are you? You’re some bloody loser sitting at home crying about how you wish you had a soulmate.

Do you think your perfect person, the person you want most in the world is going to want some loser like that? No. No. He/she is with someone who doesn’t give a damn if they’ve got a soulmate or not.

That’s just the way it goes, welcome to earth.

I don’t know how many friends I have that say they’re just so in love with someone.

“I would cross a desert of broken glass on my hands and knees to be with her.”
But then a few months later: “Well that one, yeah I’m done with her.”

There is no love. Can’t you understand that?

Every time you meet two people and they’re convinced that they’re soul mates, they talk about like: “It’s our eternal undying beautiful love that will last for ever and ever until the end of eternity and not even God himself can sever their connection. It’s so powerful and so strong and so potent.”

They’re just lying to themselves. Half the time they don’t even want to be around one another.

And of course it’s all good in that first couple of months when everything is just so new and bright and shiny then you start to grate on each other’s nerves, when everything s/he says just annoys you.

I used to have this girl who I “loved” so very very much. I loved her with all my heart and we were destined to be together. Yeah.

She and I saw the signs everywhere. Fate has brought us together. (I didn’t even believe in fate, but I still believed we were destined to be together.) Fate didn’t exist except for between me and her. That was the only thing that was certain in the whole world.

6 months later I snapped at her because I couldn’t stand the fact that she couldn’t say quesedilla.

She would call it a KWE-SE-DILLIA.

I fumed, “It’s KAY-SE-DIYA you idiot. Everyone knows its quesedilla. The Q I can understand but why are you adding another vowel sound to the end of the word. That’s not even there. You’re pronouncing it so bloody wrong, I can’t believe that someone could be so stupid.”

That happens. It does.

That’s love, alright.

That’s the best you’re gonna get. Sorry.

“What an apt label for a bunch of file-pushers ‘The India Fossil Service’. I happened to visit the Indian consulate in the prime AAA category real estate in Singapore.

The moment I stepped inside, the shabby interiors made me realize I was dealing with a third world country. The consulate exists in a typical Indian colonial type building with lots of chips in plaster and torn carpets. The library was a clutter of books. Even the newspapers were six days old!”

A top corporate honcho once told me that when interviewing a candidate for a position in his company he made his initial judgment about the merits of the person by taking a close look at the state of polish of his or her shoes!

What these instances have in common is a much underutilized psychological and
management concept “the broken window”. This concept had its origin in the 1990’s when there was a decrease in violent crimes in the USA. There were a number of straightforward reasons for this decline—crackdown on cocaine trade, economic recovery, aging of the population, etc. However there was no consensus on the reasons for the decline of crime in New York. None of these favourable conditions were evident in that city at least not to the extent that the decline could be explained. It was then that criminologists James Wilson and George Kelling argued that crime is the inevitable result of disorder. If a window is broken and left unrepaired, people walking by will conclude that no one cares and no one is in charge. Soon more windows will be broken, and the sense of anarchy will spread from the building to the
street on which it faces, sending signals that ‘anything goes’. In a city, relatively minor problems like graffiti, public disorder and aggressive behaviour are all equivalent to the broken window—invitations to more serious crime. Thus, they say, if a neighbourhood cannot prevent a person from eve-teasing, the eve-teaser may reason that it is even less likely to call the police to identify him or to interfere if he decides to mug a passerby.

This is evident in towns and cities and offices all over our country. The Singapore
Consulate example is really a “showcase” of our offices and public places all over the
country. Anything goes, or the Hindi equivalent Chalta hai, is really the starting point of an epidemic. Who can deny that the rot is evident everywhere in our country? The conclusion is that a small act of neglect or casualness can start an epidemic and affect an entire country. The moment that we do not set right a broken window we are initiating a torrent of consequences. In the mid-nineties the New York transit authorities hired Kelling, the criminologist referred to above, and he in turn advised them to try out the ‘broken window’ theory in practice. They obliged and asked the subway director David Gunn to oversee the multibillion dollar rebuilding of the subway system. Gunn decided to first stamp out graffiti scrawled on the cars. Many commentators advised him to concentrate on the big issues—crime, safety, etc and not to worry about ‘small things’ like graffiti. Worrying about graffiti at a time when the entire system was about to collapse was, they said, like scrubbing the decks of the Titanic. But the broken window theory told Gunn otherwise. He felt that at the outset the battle against graffiti was to be fought. Without that all the management reforms and changes would not help. Gunn drew up a plan of action to clean up the system line by line and train by train. He told his colleagues—no car would go out into the system unless all graffiti was removed, come what may, Every time vandals messed up a car, the graffiti would be erased till the message went home— graffiti is out for ever! Over a period of time the subway became squeaky clean. Thereafter the theory was applied to other aspects of the subway with remarkable results.

In a management context we have lessons to learn from this theory. An epidemic in the sense of deterioration in the functioning of a company can be reversed by tinkering with the smallest details of the immediate environment. You do not have to rectify and immediately solve big problems. Start with small ones. A top executive told me that he made sure small grievances of his employees were attended to with speed. This he tells me has created the impression of a caring management which his company anyway is.

 

God is in details.

But the issue is that he is convinced it is in the small matters that his employees assess him. In my workshops on innovation I am asked how to sell one’s innovative ideas to top management. I cite the example of one of the participants of an earlier workshop who, fired by his lateral thinking skill, rushed to his MD and told him that the company ought to get out of their business since he saw no future in that line of activity. This, he said, was his ‘strategic’ creative input. Needless to say, he was asked to mind his business which was to arrange travel tickets for his bosses. I then advised him to start with small innovations where the risk element was negligible. He followed my advice. He is now the Manager Innovation for his company!

 

It used to be said about Margaret Thatcher that one leadership trait of hers that stood out was her ability and willingness to take fast decisive action on relatively small issues. As they say in a different context, ‘God is in the small details.’

My Singapore friend remarked that with capitalism having capitulated his executive friends are reading Karl Marx with great respect!

My Chennai friend who dreaded the looming possibility of her bank being denationalised said “Thanks to the US, nobody in India will talk of privatisation for at least 20 years.”

Sure enough I read an article by Sitaram Yechury having a good laugh at America’s (and the capitalist world’s) moment of crisis.

I am afraid these sentiments are premature. It is true that a combination of greed, poor regulations, excessive risk taking, unbridled financial innovation, and throwing elementary banking norms to the wind were responsible for this crisis. But to say that socialism is the way out is incorrect.

Let us look around the world to see that capitalism has led to the prosperity of many nations whereas socialism has kept down many nations. India itself is an example of a nation that in our lifetime has seen poverty under the socialist ideology and then relative prosperity after liberalization. I do not deny that vast masses of our people live in depravity but I believe that this is due to inadequate or faulty liberalization.

One has to see how West Bengal has done under a socialist dispensation of which Yechury has been a torchbearer.

Capitalism is like democracy. It is not perfect but is the best we know at this point in history.

No matter what system we have. Human greed, perverse ingenuity and mismanagement will combine to bring down the best of systems.

Karl Marx himself will scarcely recognize the kind of communism that prevails in say Russia which is now run by a corrupt mafia in league with an oligarchy.

Yechury himself is a chastened man after the Nano car fiasco, He now blames Mamta for obstructing industrialization. To my knowledge Mamta has done nothing more than give the CPM a taste of their own medicine. It is the public of West Bengal who are at the receiving end of such shenanigans.

I recall an anecdote about Den Xiao Ping the father of reforms in China being driven along a highway in China. When the car reached an intersection the driver asked Ping which turning he ought to take, “Sir, the left turn takes us to socialism and the right turn takes us to capitalism. Which should I take?” asked the driver.

Replied Ping, “Signal to the left but turn right!”

I rest my case.

In an article in The Hindustan Times, television star Barkha Dutt contrasts presidential debates in the US with poll campaigns in India.

I notice that, on most occasions, when Indians (including yours truly till I moved to the US) compare India to the US, they go misty eyed, gushing with total admiration for the US and serious regret if not condemnation for India. I can’t really blame them. After all they form their opinions based on what they have heard from the media, their friends and relatives, and of course from Hollywood.

Invariably, one forms an opinion that is at best partially correct. The opinion leaders may not have or give the correct picture. They may have their biases and prejudices with their own frames of reference. They may have limited knowledge and experience or may exaggerate. Barkha Dutt’s article needs to be read with a pinch of salt.

She gushes at the way the presidential debates in the US deal with ideas in contrast to India where election speeches are peppered with references to religion, caste and such other topics. Dutt asks if we will ever have candidates talking of serious matters like Kashmir, nuclear deal, etc.

Well let me tell you what I see, read and hear in the US media these days.

At the start of the campaign season, the issues that were debated by the candidates were the ones that are close to the American heart Рreligion, gay rights, Darwinism Vs. creationism, Christianity Vs. black liberation theology, Obama’s pastor friend, Obama’s early adulthood friend who went on to be a radical, an Obama friend who was later accused of being a shady guy, McCain being old and a liar and Obama being a part-time Muslim and so on. You get the idea.

It is only now, with the Wall Street crash that the candidates have started talking of the economy to a limited extent.

As the election day draws nearer, I can fairly confidently predict that the quality of debate will be no different from the tu tu, mai mai kind all too evident in India.

In fact, there are uncanny resemblances between the events in the two countries.

A report in the US media says that Obama’s list of donors contains names of non-existing, bogus or benami donors. Sounds familiar in India? Does it remind you of Mayawati?

It has been announced officially that the voters’ list in Ohio has many bogus voters РBihar style!

Sex, sleaze and other salacious stuff have tumbled out in election campaigns in earlier years. One can never know that we will not see an outbreak of such titillating stuff as the election day approaches.

Maybe Barkha Dutt might have something else to tell us then.