Once in a restaurant when the waiter was obviously ignoring this rude customer whose hissing calls were beginning to get on everyone’s nerves, I turned to the hissing man and asked him what was he trying to accomplish? Could he not use words and gestures instead of making that awful noise? Was he aware that he was being very rude to the waiter and the patrons who were eating there? Imagine my shock when he calmly said his behaviour was perfectly acceptable. He pointed out that there was no other way to catch the waiter’s attention because he did not know his name. I pointed out to him that the waiters had name badges and or otherwise he could use the generic term of “waiter” or be polite and say “excuse me.” Obviously I was wasting of my breath because nothing I said was heeded.

But why do humans behave choose to behave in this offensive way?

One obvious thing is that it seems to be a perfectly acceptable type of behavior amongst certain groups of people and they are actually surprised when anyone points out that “tsk-tsk” is not a respectable way to address any human beings and even some animals might snap at one’s finger is this were done to them.

The larger issue is the true lack of respect towards another human being, especially those who are rendering a service.

I completely agree with the film Munnabhai MBBS wherein the hero advises a young girl regarding a prospective groom, over a radio talk show. Reacting to a query on how one’s character could be judged in a few minutes meeting, the hero says, “Observe how he calls out to the waiter. If he says, ‘excuse me’ or something like that it’s fine. On the other hand if he snaps his finger and says, ‘tsk-tsk’, don’t waste your time and walk out.”

How I wish that that we legally throw out people who “tsk-tsk” in a hotel, restaurant or for the matter anywhere!

This incident reminded us of the callous manner in which sports is administered. It also brought our attention to the almost total lack of professionalism in all walks of life that is our bane. Moreover it called to attention the country’s lack of readiness to host The Commonwealth Games just around the corner.

But I wish to make a larger and far more critical point after I point out the following comment from a news item:

“What the IPL has succeeded in doing is create a new generation of half-baked players with faulty techniques who strut around like superstars based on their dubious performances in the IPL. This year in South Africa, Manish Pandey became the first Indian player to score a century in the IPL. He is nowhere in the ‘national’ reckoning. But in a recent interview he glibly explained how he has attained celebrity status due to that century — and proudly stated how he now wears tight shirts with buttons open, low-waist jeans, and spikes his hair.”

The contrast between the way we treat our cricketers and the manner in which we treat stars from other sports is glaring enough. But the point I make is this: We cannot but think along caste lines on any subject.

When we think about any person, institution, event, activity, profession, game, dress, style — anything at all — we think along caste lines often without consciously being aware about it. The Usha incident when contrasted with the Manish Pandey attitude demonstrates how cricket is the ‘upper caste’ sport and how athletics is identified as ‘lower caste’ in origins. It is impossible for Pandey to be treated like Usha even though Pandey has yet to establish his credentials at any high level. If the talented Usha had been fair skinned and considered ‘good looking’ along accepted lines, she would have received more respectful treatment! We classify good looking people as ’upper caste.’ In our ethos it is absolutely necessary to be endowed with white or light skin in order to be considered good looking.

Look at the way the much touted India International Film Awards (IIFA) which are held in exotic cities all over the world. If you notice closely, shorn of the glamour, you will find something outrageous — the awards are given only to Bollywood personalities. Why is that so? Here is a guess — Southern stars — to take just one region of India — are too dark skinned to be seen on stage with the ‘good looking’ Bollywood stars irrespective of the talent of ‘Madrassi’ stars.

I was shocked at the response Amitabh Bachhan gave when he was asked to name the 100 best movies made in India since Indian cinema began. He did not name a single southern film! I believe there is more than ignorance at play here. I also cannot believe that he sincerely but erroneously believes that southern films are not good enough. It is no coincidence that he is the Brand Ambassador for IIFA.

Many readers may be executives who read business magazines. I ask this provocative question: Why is it that the front covers of such industry magazines over the decades have been adorned by assorted CEO’s, CTO’s and CFO’s but not project managers, materials or production managers? There is a caste system here too!

Do we treat the Middle East NRI with the same awe and respect as the US or Canada based NRI? Think about this carefully. It is true that people everywhere tend to resort to classification but for the sheer contempt with which we treat those who rank as ‘low’ Indians take the cake.

I have more to say on this topic but I suggest you wait for my new book: CAN INDANS THINK?

(1) I do not recall too many instances when a joint session of Parliament was called for listening to our Prime Minister make a policy statement and outline a strategy to tackle one of the many crises facing the nation. I am not content with the platitudinous speeches made by the Rashtrapathi or Pradhan mantri at the beginning of a Parliament session. These are lofty speeches that do not really address any crisis and in any case these are part of Parliamentary procedure and do not have the nation’s attention. When Obama spoke to the Houses, the entire nation was glued to the TV and I suspect many people elsewhere in the world also watched him tackling a much debated issue in the US, namely health reform.

(2) The very fact that the speech was devoted entirely to a single issue — health — is itself a telling point for us Indians. Let us take just health in India’s context. In the tenure of Anbumani Ramdas as Union Health Minister I do not recall any initiative to attend to the myriad problems in our health sector. Instead Ramdas was engaged in the single minded pursuit of Dr Venugopal. Eventually he managed to oust Dr Venugopal, a renowned surgeon, out of the AIIMS. Other than that, Ramdas tilted against windmills like asking Shah Rukh Khan not to smoke in movies. Surely there are far more critical issues to be attended to? The current Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad has been no different but this time there is a difference — the PM has pulled him up for non-performance.

(3) Considering the many areas where the situation is tragic:  education, power, infrastructure, Maoist violence, national security, etc, I would have thought that each minister at state and union levels would address the nation/state, and tell us what he or she intends to do and what results we can expect. Barring one or two, we have only silence as an answer. When did you hear our power minister for instance tell us what he is doing to solve our deepening crisis? How many can tell me who the power minister is?

(4) Now comes a crucial point. In the course of his speech Obama announced that illegal immigrants would not get medical cover. At this juncture Republican Joe Wilson shouted, ‘It is a lie!’  Many Americans were outraged but for a nation like ours this seems almost a term of endearment. I imagine that if Mayawati announces in the UP Assembly that the hundreds of crores she is spending for statues are for public welfare and the only response she gets from the opposition is a lone MLA shouting, ‘Ye sarasat jhoot hai,’ Mayawati will hug him in affection and assume that her idea has unanimous consent!

Over the years we have been seeing deterioration in the conduct of our law makers. Obscene acts like unfurling of dhotis happens more often than unfurling of our national flag. Chappals are hurled, microphones ripped apart, abuses exchanged, lawmakers rush menacingly to the Minister or Speaker…these are daily events that do not shock anyone any more.

If you think that these are the prerogative of rustic goondas who have made it to the legislatures, you may be wrong. To my knowledge all this was started by a scion of India’s royalty, the Gandhi family. It is Sanjay Gandhi and his band of rowdy MP’s who used to engage in shouting down those MP’s who had opposing views. The events of that era have been well discussed and need no elaboration here. Sanjay’s behaviour started a trend that has reached a new low these days.

But the fury of public anger at Wilson’s behaviour has now snowballed into a crisis for himself and his Republican Party. Mid-term elections are a year away and Wilson is in for a drubbing and his political career may well end. His party has asked him to apologize to the President on the floor of the House, which he has refused to do and is content to apologize to Obama directly. This incident — trivial by Indian standards, has made his party look like the BJP. The party looks adrift, leaderless, visionless, ungainly and lost in the woods. It has been said about South Carolina (where Rep Wilson hails from), is a state is that is too small to become a nation and too big to be a lunatic asylum. How would you describe some of our states? I invite readers to send me catchy lines for our states and our country.

Let me explain.

The character of a people can be gleaned in many ways. Thus when people from other countries visit India they form opinions on the basis of what they see and encounter from the moment they visit the Indian embassy in their countries for a visa. Then follows the tourist’s experience on our streets. The results are well known to you.

I can see another way in which we can be judged. I suspect that when educated people meet at a seminar for example they may unconsciously use this yard stick to assess the character of a people. When Indians plan to attend a seminar in a foreign country they are judged from the moment they land up at that country’s embassy in India for a visa. As tourists, Indians are not regarded highly in many countries if surveys are to be believed.

I shall attempt to drive home my point by a recent concrete example which I have experienced. I may add here that I too am guilty of such reactions and I see such reactions in the US as well.

I wrote an article titled: “Why I Am Ashamed To Be An Indian.” I wrote it after reading a moving piece in a renowned journal in the US. I was not aware till I read this article by a celebrated writer of the extent of slavery in the India of the 21 st century. I was shocked to read that:
[1] There are more slaves in the world today than at any other time in history.
[2] India has more slaves than the rest of the world.
[3] In India many young underage girl slaves are being exploited for sex.

I wrote this piece hoping that someone higher up — like Rahul Gandhi for example — might take notice and take action to save these unfortunate Indians even as we gloat about our rise to superpower status. I was somewhat taken aback by the reaction from some readers. There were no doubt positive responses. But the barrage of verbal lashings I got was informative of the psychological forces I had unleashed. I list some of the more shrill ones without suggesting that they represented the national ethos.
[1] ‘Rubbish!’
[2]‘There is no slavery in India.’
[3] ‘Slavery is justified.’
[4] ‘You refuse to see India’s development.’
[5] ‘Why are people so negative?’
[6] ‘Did not Dr Kalam tell us to see the positive side of India?’
[7] ‘Ravi should not be allowed to write such things — he is getting cheap publicity.’
[8] ‘The sources of Ravi’s article are dubious.’

I have this theory that applies to individuals and nations. Initially a nation is touchy about criticism. I call this the stage of insecurity or the 3 Monkey Stage. In this stage we feel that any criticism against us is ‘motivated’ and never well meaning and people ought to concentrate on what we think are our achievements. We shut our ears. On our part we refuse to see the many tragedies happening around us — we shut our eyes. We are so fixated on our achievements that we shut our mouths to any self criticism. .

In the second stage which I call the stage of confidence, people are so confident of themselves that they accept that when they see themselves in the mirror, they see many warts. They are prepared to face criticism square on. The US was till recently in this stage. In a lighter vein I feel the Sikh community is in this stage; most ‘sardarji’ jokes show them in poor light and are originated by Sardars.

I can see the US slipping just that little bit as their country falters seriously on every front: economy, foreign policy, crime, corruption, educational standards etc. If things do not improve they may well regress to stage one and join India. Incidentally Indians settled in the US betray this mentality in that they often refuse to accept that their adopted country has serious flaws. The American may well accept these flaws but not our NRI!

In stage three which I call the stage of overconfidence, a nation cares not damn what others think about it and does whatever it deems fit even if it shocks the whole world. China fits the bill. Some may say that the US too is dangerously close to this stage even now.

To return to the reactions to my article on slavery my readers could well have googled for ‘Slavery In India.’ One of the first entries there is: http://www.hrw.org/legacy/reports/1996/India3.htm

On some occasions an NRI will come up with something specific and it is one of these that I shall discuss here with the purpose of highlighting an aspect of thinking skills that may go unlearnt.

My NRI friend emailed me a photograph of Mumbai that showed parts of the city in floods, reminiscent of the kind one usually associates with rural Bihar. I checked with my Mumbai friends and ascertained that the photo was an old one and every year it was recycled by NRI’s on the internet to paint a dismal picture of the city. However what is more important here is that the NRI argued that year after year the problem of flooding occurs and the administration acts as if it has been taken by total surprise — this I believe is largely true. He asked me why we could not solve this annual, predictable problem. On being asked what the solution could be, he said, “Why can’t they increase the size of the drainage system or even build a wall along the coast?” (The wall is supposed to keep high tide at bay).

Now it is here that I feel rigorous thinking may be lacking. Let’s look at the ‘increase the size of the drainpipes’ solution. Anyone who has been to Mumbai will tell you that considering the size of the roads, there is little scope to increase the radius of the drain pipes. Moreover the cost will be extraordinarily high — more than Rs 50000 crores for a marginal increase according to one estimate. In any case the critical issue is — can Mumbai or for that matter any city in the world keep on increasing the size of its drainage system to accommodate the needs of an ever increasing population?

The ‘wall along the coast’ solution is on the face of it too costly considering that Mumbai is an island. By far the bigger issue that often goes unrecognized is this — Mumbai has many problems of which the overflowing drains in the monsoons is just one. It is possible to argue that the flooding problem is annual but there are critical problems that affect people daily that need immediate attention.

Going further, Mumbai is just one part of the country and other parts are crying for more urgent attention for far more serious crises — children dying of starvation, farmers committing suicide, lack of basic medical facilities in rural areas, etc. When you look at the larger picture you will realise that our problems are myriad, immense, varied and have varying degrees of urgency and importance but our resources are limited .

I like to cite the parallel experience of a lower middle class father whose three kids make demands on his small salary. One kid wants a new skirt, another wants a drawing book and the third wants to go on a school picnic. Around this time his wife falls ill and needs medical attention that may cost Rs.1000. He himself is a diabetic and needs to buy insulin for himself that costs a small fortune. What can the man do?

That is exactly the situation that India finds itself in.

This may be difficult for an NRI to grasp because he lives in the US where resources are seemingly limitless. Look at the way the Obama administration coughed up close to a trillion dollars for bailing out banks and for a stimulus package and is now readying a healthcare reform package that can cause a dent of another trillion dollars when implemented. Meanwhile the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan swallow millions of dollars every hour, and the country may have no problem finding many more trillions to finance wars in Iran and North Korea etc should the need arise. Contrast this with our lower class man. What is the lesson to be learnt from here? That one has to put oneself into the shoes of the man who faces a problem and look at issues from his perspective. That solutions available to one person or country are not necessarily available to others.

In addition, it is incorrect to assume that India does not know how to solve its many problems.

I do agree that corruption, apathy, inefficiency, inverted priorities — some of these are by-products of poor resources — plague us but it cannot be denied that there is a serious need to appreciate the gravity of the situation and not resort to simplistic thinking. I hasten to add that I am optimistic that India will find solutions to the many problems she faces but this will take time and will call for innovative thinking on our part. Simplistic thinking or cynical criticism will not help.

Like many lower middle class fathers who have managed to get their kids educated enough to find a good job in an IT company that sent them to Silicon Valley, India too will grow. My cynical NRI friend is a son of one such family….

The singer, who had many melodious songs to his credit, then announced, with some regret I thought, that many youngsters did not like old songs. The difference, he argued, was one of rhythm and speed. He also offered to sing songs like Kaun Aya Mare Man Ke Dwaare. At this point there were loud moans of disapproval. He realized and so did I, that your truly was in a minority and the bulk of the audience was not interested in melody, preferring the kind of music that has made Himesh Reshammaya a rage.

The singer sang adhunik songs for the rest of the evening even as I reached for ear plugs and swallowed a headache tablet. I could not leave since I was among the ‘honoured’ guests.

I recall receiving a few rejoinders to my blogs telling me that the youngsters of today are not interested in politics or writings on social issues and to please restrict myself to fun stuff. I replied that if it is true that youngsters are not interested in political or socio-economic issues then the happiest people in the India and everywhere else in the world will be politicians. I can imagine the look of delight on the faces of the likes of Mayawati, Laloo Yadav Karunanidhi etc.

The top 5 religions in Facebook are Christianity, Islam, Atheism, Agnosticism, and Hinduism. It is too early to reach any conclusions but it is interesting to note that a preliminary analysis of the major networking sites reveals that youngsters are not keen to fill up the box item Religion in their profiles. A researcher says that youngsters do not want to be ‘judged’ and would prefer the vague term Spiritual rather than specifically state their religion in the box item.

Talking about my writings I started expressing my views in print in the form of letters to editors of papers and magazines. When I found the space inadequate, I wrote articles in some newspapers. When I found even that inadequate I wrote blogs. When even that did not suffice I started writing books—so far 4 have been published.

Now my young friends tell me that ‘we are the Twitter generation and Ravi will you please restrict yourself to fun stuff and that too in 130 characters?” Ten years from now some  cheeky youngster will tell me to say it in ’5 or fewer’ words. I will then have to do what a young journalist did when his editor advised him to be very brief in his telegrams — those were the days when journalists sent telegrams to their head office. The youngster was on the crime beat and had to report a rape incident involving an insane man who fled from the scene. His brief telegram read: NUT SCREWS AND BOLTS. Will I have to write in this style in the next decade?

Talk to an Indian politician and depending on his party ideology he will eulogize Mahatma Gandhi, or Patel, or Indira Gandhi or Anadurai or Kamaraj or Karl Marx or Chairman Mao or someone else, all the way back to Lord Ram. When I ask my scientist friends who wax eloquent about our ‘great scientific achievements’ of the past, about what is our contribution to the world these days they have little to say.

I ask scientists this question: If you say that India had an advanced scientific culture in the past and many modern inventions like aircraft first existed in our land, can you now predict at least one life altering invention or discovery that the west will come out with in the future and which is already known to India?

Even computer experts in India shock me by telling me that Sanskrit is best suited for programming. I stun them in return by asking if any computer program has been written with this ‘fact’ in mind. I also ask them – will or can you write a programme using Sanskrit in a meaningful way?

When I see how we break rules and laws in daily life casually and with impunity, I ask myself why are we as a nation so indifferent to law and order? Is there something in our DNA that makes us disobedient? During our freedom struggle we were taught by our leaders to disobey rules with a view to making it difficult for the British to govern us — this was called ‘civil disobedience’. But 62 years after Independence we continue to be disobedient. The past holds us in thrall and our old habits die hard.

The World Health Organisation has announced that Indian roads are the most dangerous in the world with 13 fatalities every hour! Why do we disobey traffic rules?

I suspect that we are not only prisoners of the civil disobedience mindset but also of another phenomenon. I refer to our past village life. Many aspects of our daily lives are a vestige of our past rural lives. To be sure a majority of our population still lives in villages. Our town and city dwellers continue to behave like villagers. Thus in a village there is little fear of being run over by a bullock cart. Today the lack of fear of an accident on the part of jaywalkers may be a vestige of this behaviour. As for rash driving this may also be due to the rural attitude of the powerful considering themselves exempt form any law — this is evident to this day. Thus a truck or car driver has a power that can be exactly measured in terms of the horse power of his engine multiplied by his speed multiplied by his connections! How can you expect him to respect a mere pedestrian?

The way Ganeshotsav is celebrated in say Mumbai is proof that ‘India lives in the villages’. Nowhere else in an advanced nation will a ‘celebration’ be permitted to hamper traffic across a city and throw normal life out of gear for almost two weeks. To give one more example, the way some of us celebrate Holi is an instance of pastoral life transplanted into city life. Readers may not know this sensational stuff. There was a case where a Hindu family in a major city in the US celebrated the wedding of their son with 3 ELEPHANTS striding slowly down a road accompanied by band baaja! No doubt the band baaja belted out Bollywood hits accompanied by dancing, inebriated revelers.

You might have also noticed that politicians perceived to have an urban orientation find it difficult to win an election.

To put all this in modern psychological terms Indians are victims of the Stockholm Syndrome. We have begun to enjoy being prisoners or hostages of our past.

This leads us to another phenomenon that I shall discuss in another article. I call this phenomenon the Great Indian Gridlock.

Whatever for? There is nothing wrong in owning a phone and having it alongside for emergencies but to have one alive and in use when one goes to school or college; isn’t it rather self defeating? I mean, you are at school to study and learn new things. How can you do that when you head is busy SMSing or listening to music of today which is just RAP anyway? Do you need to have a doctorate in psychology to understand that if you your mind is not focusing on the lectures or subjects being taught you will retain nothing? Then why go to school at all?

The school authorities have woken up to this stupidity only now and their knee jerk reaction is to ban the mobile. This is another extreme decision. All they need to do is ask the children to shut the unit off when in school premises. The kids may need or want to use it later when they go out of school. It is a tool of communication and emergencies do not come announced.

My personal opinion on mobiles is that it has just given yakking a new dimension. Nobody feels any need to organize their lives or memorize anything or think anything out. They just push the buttons and disturb anybody at any time as and when they feel it is convenient to them.

The other instance is that of Mayawati who brazenly announced that several hundreds of crores of rupees that could help alleviate the many crises  that her state faces will go to install hundreds of statues of  the Dr. Ambedkar, Sri Kanshi Ram and Mayawati herself!

Let me begin by examining Mayawati’s action. In a larger sense what she is practicing  what sociologist MN Srinivas termed ‘sanskritisation’  in which  people of the ‘lower castes’ attempt to imitate the ‘upper castes’ whenever they move up the socio-economic-political  ladder. Thus Mayawati is doing what is essentially  Brahminical — idolization, in this case  herself.

After all a unique feature of Hinduism is the idolization of God or anyone perceived to have  ‘attained’ God or exhibited exemplary qualities associated with divinity. Thus there are any number of idols to what are essentially human beings in almost any Hindu temple.

My observation about idolatrous thinking is as follows: This line of thinking can and almost always does lead to cult formation, hero worship, personality cult,  to people surrendering their own ability and right to think for themselves. Just look at India’s political parties. In most parties the leader is idolized to such an extent that there is no second line of leadership outside  the ruling family, there is no inner party democracy, no fresh ideas emerge over decades.  The difference between most of these leaders and the ‘Dear Leader’ of North Korea is marginal.

This goes to extreme  lengths when roads, bridges, stations, airports, are named after these cult leaders. I find it difficult to name a single city where there are ONLY three structures named after say Rajeev Gandhi.

In a recent  discussion in a US paper about the prospects of India emerging as a superpower, an analyst pointed out that the hierarchical nature of Indian society and institutions  prevents creativity and no country that merely copies what others have discovered or invented can ever  become a superpower. Our idolatrous thinking in relation to those perceived as ‘higher’ than us  prevents free thinking and therefore stifles creativity.

Those ‘higher’ than us includes parents, teachers, ministers; those ‘higher’ than us in the office hierarchy; those  ‘higher’ in the caste system; those richer than us; those who dress better than us; those who are better looking than us and those whose skin is ‘fairer’ than ours.

In one survey conducted by a Mumbai tabloid it was revealed that people living in the tony localities of south Mumbai  considered people living in modest suburbs to be ‘genetically inferior’! The list of ‘ higher’ people who need to be therefore idolized ensures that most of us end up with an inferiority complex.

I may add that the US also exhibits some form of idolatrous thinking in the tendency to make larger than life heroes of its achievers.  Many readers may know that Thomas Alva Edison is rated the greatest inventor of all time — he has the largest number of patents to  his  credit. But few may know that Edison was more a leader, a motivator than an inventor.  The credit for his inventions ought to go to the many scientists who toiled in his laboratory at New Jersey. That has not happened and in typical Hollywood fashion, it is Edison who emerges as a ‘sole’ hero.

This is also the case with the many corporate heroes one reads about in business books. The CEO gets almost all the credit though it is always  team work that lifts a company to great heights — this is something that American business books will admit in their more sober moments.

The excessive television coverage of US presidents can be disconcerting. Television stations will tell  you which restaurant Obama went to, which dress Michelle Obama  wore, and  even what the White House dog had for breakfast! Not unlike the bad old days in India when Doordarshan, the only TV channel at that time, seemed to have its cameras attached to ministers’ behinds  trailing them everywhere bar the bar and the washroom.

A paradox in all this is that in India  atheists indulge in more of idolization than the devout Hindu. Thus the DMK that officially is a party which upholds atheism and ‘rational’ thinking is among the most idolatrous and irrational of political parties in India. They have set up more statues in Tamilnadu than even the RSS or VHP  would have done if they had come into power! The manner in which their top leadership, the ruling family, is treated with obeisance with people falling at their feet, is more reminiscent of the much reviled (by the DMK)  Brahmin touching the feet of ‘saints’. Jayalalitha carries this idolization to great horizontal lengths  when even her cabinet colleagues (when she was the Chief Minister) were mandated to prostrate at her feet at the start of every cabinet meeting.

It  is no surprise that  in the Tamil film world, we see the worst kind of idolization — after all politics and films are closely intertwined in that state. Bollywood has its own watered down version of idolization. Just Ask Amitabh !

Outside of politics one can see idolatrous  thinking and behaviour in religion and business. I have seen at a Mumbai meeting many people idolizing and literally worshipping Dhirubhai Ambani. The  man would ‘bless’  prostrate people sometimes without  even looking at them. He would talk to someone else perhaps striking a  lucrative deal,  even as he waved his ‘divine’ hands  over the supplicant! I imagined the possibility that that deal may have been at the expense of the man pitifully lying at Dhirubhai’s ‘lotus feet’.

In religion, essentially  in Hinduism, one sees the power wielded by gurujis and matajis. I have seen respected scientists suspending their scientific thinking  when talking about their favourite guruji. One  ‘scientist’ told me that she had seen one of India’s most popular babas make the sun rise in the west! The many miracles attributed to these gurujis and  blindly believed by masses of idolatrous people attest to the dangers that befall us when we allow idolatrous thinking to jettison even common sense. What does Indian society need urgently?
ICONOCLASTS!

There were the usual nods of recognition around the table then our friend indicated the woman sitting on her own at the head of the table. It was obvious that this was an office party and the woman sitting on her own was the manager, even before our friend introduced her. Our friend said that she was the office manager, and the rest of the girls were the team who worked with her. The way they had arranged themselves around the table spoke volumes for their work relationships.

The manager sat at the head of the table, obviously because she was under the impression that she was the most important person there and therefore should have the most important seat, even at a social gathering. Our friend was the supervisor, second in command in the office, and therefore had to sit near her boss to show support, but even then she placed her husband between her and the boss so that she was not sitting too close but, as the supervisor, she was still the closest. All the rest of the girls were huddled together at the other end of the table, not a great distance away but far enough to make an obvious gap between them and us.

The manager, appraised of the content of the book turned her hubris up to maximum, demanding to know what right did I have to write books about management when clearly, as a practising manager, she was the expert. The easy answer would have been to explain how dysfunctional her social gathering really was, how that dysfunction was probably a direct result of the way that she managed her team and the relationships that she created at work. Fortunately before that thought had even begun to speculate about the possibility of crossing my mind she gathered her self up and delivered her management philosophy: They think I am a bitch, but that is my job!

I was absolutely gobsmacked.

Here was a manager who, I think not unusually, believed that the job of a manager was to be a bitch to the workforce. It was clear that there was going to be no conversation about how well she thought she was doing as a manager or any expression of desire to become more effective. She was proud to be acknowledged as a bitch and clearly thought that she was doing pretty well at it.

Looking at the cowed fearful expressions of the people she managed I could only agree that she probably was. This was a completely prehistoric management monster who was fully aware of what she was but had built her defences so high that there was no possibility that what she was doing as a manager, or why she was doing it, could be questioned.
She had set herself up as the bitch in the office and saw that as a valid management strategy, to behave like a bitch to frighten her staff into working.

She had not the faintest desire or curiosity to try to figure out if there was a way that she could allow her team to be more effective and therefore impress her own boss with how effective she was as a manager. Worst of all it was probably not even her fault. The ordinary person who spends a large part of their working life on the end of oppressive management practice, when eventually elevated to the position of manager, has no other model of management to copy other than the one that she experienced as a member of the workforce.

Her behaviour as a manager mimics that of the managers that she hated while she was being “Managed” and it is this same behaviour that she will then pass on to the people who will replace her, because they too will have no other behavioural model to work from when they become managers. We seem to be doomed, by our own example, to show each new generation of the workforce the same model of how not to manage people.

To break this destructive cycle of learned oppressive management behaviour we have to find another model. A good place to start might be to Google “Theory Y”.

This other model does exist and has been around for an awfully long time.

It is difficult to be a child of the 21st century -  to be a part of the most educated generation of the human race. I’m afraid the people around me are all masters of their own field – educated, more educated, most educated. Everyone knows everything. Alas! They don’t leave room for me to discover anything new.

Their ocean of knowledge is so deep that a new drop of creativity is a strictly forbidden in their already established knowledge of ocean. I still can’t forget my physics teacher’s words when describing Albert Einstein, “You know Einstein left school at a very young age and still he was the greatest scientist of all times. You know why? Because he was passionate.  But this new generation is only passionate about  wasting time”. Yes sir I thought, we are wasting our time studying something for 8 hours in the school every day (which has to be mugged up at the end of the session). Then  we return home from school where we need at least 2-3 hrs to complete our homework. Then we have to assist Mom with chores and then go to sleep to be prepared for another day at school.  Huh! Where’s the time for passion?

I bet if Einstein had wasted so much time everyday he wouldn’t have been so renowned today. Today we all are so caught up in the cobwebs of so called ‘educated’ era that getting out of it seems impossible. Schools are a good example of the irony of this situation. They promise to nurture the special gift of every child  while recognising his/her unique aptitude. They are supposed  to be the temples of learning but  we get caught up in a maze of stale thinking and rigid attitudes. For example, if a particular child is recognised for his/her outstanding academic skills then this wonder child is unofficially appointed as a lifetime examplar. This adulation creates a barrier for other children who want to recognized in the same field but are overlooked because of the teachers’ attitudes and the precedent set by the high achieving student.

But why does his happen?  Probably because a school is made up of  a highly educated faculty  with an entrenched attitude of accomplishment and they are very conservative  about welcoming new talents. I remember how my parents advised me to take a one year break from football. Their reasoning was  that people would be far more interested in my academic accomplishments than in my  prowess on the football field.

Do you see how education has stopped us from being children?  The demands of education  make it almost impossible  to play and enjoy life at a physical level.

Our parents and teachers are forgetting that inspiration to create in the science, business, technology and the arts often come during recreational moments when we are not overloading our brains with force-fed academics and old knowledge.

I think this era of education is back firing us today. The more education we acquire, the less inner  space we leave  for new ideas to germinate. Everything has become too competitive and life is too regimented.  Where is that spontaneous joy of just being human? I think we need a few more people like Galileo to upset the status quo with some radical ideas from out left field.  If by chance another Galileo-type radical  came along  to question today’s value systems, he won’t be hanged to death, but he would certainly have to go through the biggest test of his life. Why? It is because today people are so ‘educated’ they delude themselves into thinking they know it all!  No one is allowed to challenge them.  The moral of the story if formal education is making our human minds so closed up and inflexible, then personally I would prefer to be uneducated.

But after his untimely passing, while I contemplated the statements made by his associates, family members, and the  news channels, I found myself feeling absolutely sad. His father, sidestepping allegations of child abuse claimed, “we shared a very cordial relationship”. If they had such a good relationship, why wasn’t  he there when MJ needed him as a lost, drug abusing son? Was Joe Jackson there for Michael during his darkest days? What about Michael’s ex-wife Debbie Rowe, his brothers and sisters some of whom he supported financially?

After his passing many people suddenly emerged from the woodwork claiming that they were  close friends of MJ.  Where were they when he needed them? Why was nobody around him except for a highly-paid, drug prescribing personal physician? Did any of them make a serious and sustained effort to wean him off his drug dependency?  Did Michael deliberately shut out those who were closest to him?  What could be the reason behind it?

Was he afraid that they cared more for his money and fame as the “Prince of Pop” than for Michael himself – the insecure, frightened man who  was still a child in many ways. Why did Michael substitute money for true love in his life? Why is life like this? What lessons have Michael taught us with his tragic life?

I wish I could meet MJ and ask all my questions. I wonder what would he say?

What would you say if you found such a breaking news item in NDTV ?
I sent this headline to fifty of my friends in India and the US and a few in the Middle East—all Indians mind you. Here are some responses I received:
– India has no hope.
– This is why India is and will remain a third world country.
– Let us stop dreaming of becoming a superpower.
– This cannot happen in the USA.
– It is such idiotic things that made me migrate to the US.
– I am glad I left India to live in a civilized country like the US.
And so on.

But wait a minute, I told them all.

I then sent another email to all these guys pointing out that this headline is related to the US and appeared in the May 25th, 2009, edition of The Washington Post.

I wish all my buddies had installed webcams and let me see their faces when they read my clarification email.

As I come to the end of my three year stay in the US and will be returning to India soon, I can say that the US is not as great as we might believe and India is not that bad as we may believe. The situation is more nuanced than one might realize. This is not to say that India is as good as the US. On the contrary, we have much to learn from the US and much that we need not learn from them.

There is a simple ‘trick’ we need to take note of and learn from the US. Some of the things about India that we fret about do not exist in the US simply because the US has legalized them. What we call influence peddling and money power in India, the kind of power broking that we say is ruining India, has been legalized in the US. It is called lobbying.

My NRI friends protest that lobbying is not the same as corruption since it is open to anyone. But then considering the kind of money that one needs to influence policy is humungous, only the very rich can afford to influence policy. Thus Microsoft spent $5 billion dollars to influence tax laws that benefitted the company $55 billion in tax savings over a 5 year period. Had an Indian company done anything remotely resembling this, a thousand Indians might have migrated to the US and sent me an email about the corrupt Indian system.

Now comes another example of how things that are considered objectionable in India are perfectly acceptable as legal or constitutional in the US. The US constitution allows the President to appoint to the Supreme Court, a judge who is ideologically aligned with the President. Obama like his predecessors, has done exactly that by appointing Ms Sotomayor as a judge. The right wing media is up in arms against this appointment for many reasons.

I recall the furore that shook India when Ms Indira Gandhi appointed to India’s Supreme Court, judges with a leftist ideology in tune with her leanings. She was castigated for ‘packing’ the court. In the US ‘packing’ is constitutional!

I understand that in the recent general elections, much money was spent by candidates that was illegal by Election Commission norms. Experts say that these norms are unrealistic and need serious updating in tune with current times. By not doing so, we are unnecessarily creating ‘corrupt practices.’ There ought to be a law against outdated laws!

A general observation: wherever there are serious demand/supply imbalances, there will be corrupt practices. If this imbalance is combined with poverty, widespread corruption is inevitable. There is nothing ‘Indian’ or ‘third world’ or ‘uncivilized’ about this. It is only human. Laws can only marginally mitigate this situation.
Don’t let Americans or NRI’s tell you otherwise.

The US too went through this phase for over a century after declaring its independence. These days there is not much scarcity in most goods and services of general interest. But there is another reason for corruption — greed. This persists everywhere, including in the USA. This also is part of human nature. America has abundant examples of greed-motivated frauds, corruption, murder and so on. This sometimes inspires even mortal fear among law enforcers. Don’t believe me? Ask American judges and prosecutors .

Why did God leave it to us? To create? To hate? Is there a grand plan of His, that is yet to unfold? For us to learn and grow beyond religion?

These thoughts have made me arrive at one conclusion: God created feelings but He never created religion. Yes, He created feelings and allowed them to instill love, joy, hate, anger, passion and compassion within us. With time however, feeling-driven humans clung together and formed what we love and cherish today – religion. Feelings gave birth to religions.

But why?

There I was, pondering again why would God plan it out like this? Back to square one. That thought lead me to my own feelings. I am, what my feelings make me, and what others close to me and around me, make me as well. So much is thrown at us, that feelings are birthed as responses. They seep, sap, and once in a while, zap too. As a result, we get to experience love, hate and hurt.

Hence, feelings led to religion, is my quick-shot, conclusion.

Our feelings not only affect us, they they affect people around us, too. Our feelings make us active, reactive, pro-active, inactive, selective, protective and destructive, too. Feelings make or mar us. We are affected as individuals and as groups every day. Afflicted and inflicted, feelings get compounded very quickly. They are shared very quickly, ensnaring us before we realise what is happening. None is spared here when feelings are shared and begin to spread like a wild fire, fanned primarily by greed and ignorance.

On the other hand what about positive feelings, of love and joy? Once they happen they ‘get to happen’ they are short lived. They are shared too, but very sparingly.

They are not as popular as the negative ones. Not as vehemently as the negative ones. Not as attractive as the destructive ones that invariably break into the open with a mighty blast called ‘hate.’
These man-created negative feelings grow exponentially to amass under a shelter called – religion – in the name of God.

Was this is how religion emerged? From negative, exponentially-compounded feelings, seeking shelter from hunger, natural calamities and lurking dangers in the ‘dark ages’, when man was illiterate and ignorant?
If so, then why does it still bind the minds of modern mankind? Why are we still blind today when the world is supposed to have matured and come of age as a global village?

We can probably lay the blame for this situation at the feet of the learned mullahs, priests, pastors and spiritual con men who continue to imprison us in religious cages.

Why can’t they get together and spread love and joy in the name of God?

Isn’t it ironic that we are now in the darkest age ever experienced by mankind thanks to the religious mindsets that bind unfortunate and illiterate minds without the buffer of feelings or a conscience?

But again, where did religion emerge from? God never created it because He always knew, the outcome would not be love and joy. God however, seems to have created everything from love. It is the act of love that gave birth to mankind. But through religion humans have learned to hate their brothers and sisters and shed blood in the name of God.

How sad God must be! The Creator who set us free on this lovely earth, with only one feeling – Love!

That feeling of love however, has mutated into dividing and deriding religions that also created physical borders and named them countries. Today, those very borders are like cages, locking religious zealots within by insularity and narrow beliefs.

Today men believe they are gods, passing judgment on all across villages, towns, cities and nations. Armed with guns they arrogantly claim to know the “only true God” while they kill in the name of religion.

Maybe we should re-spell the word Religions as Reli-guns, meaning the new found religion.
A sum total of Relish+Legions+Guns = “Religuns”

Man was never made to make feelings. God made feelings. Man was made to use them wisely. When humans got to creating they unfortunately made Religion alias Religun.

Now what we see is blood on their hands, on the ground, on the earth, and on the ceilings. Isn’t it time for all of this to end? Time for us to destroy all arms in arms? Enough is enough.

Under man-made religion we bled and will continue to bleed until we get rid of that seed that was never sown by God in the garden of Eden…. Religun alias Religion.

Recent trends in the US and Australia have brought home a fundamental aspect of human nature. In times of trouble the atavistic tendencies that are inherent in us come to the surface. The veneer of civilization vanishes once we see a threat that is perceived as existential.

Let me explain.

I need hardly remind readers of the many incidents of violence against Indians in the US. Now as if to remind us all of what human beings can be, we hear of reports of brutal attacks against Indian students—one such student is at this very moment fighting for his life in Australia. There have been reports of several such attacks in the last fortnight. Indians at home have reacted with understandable rage calling them “racist.”

The evidence of racism, a charge that the Australians predictably deny, is that at least on one occasion the assailants shouted at the victim, “Don’t touch me!” Racist people consider the ‘others’ to be unclean. It is interesting to note that the dalit leaders in India have also demanded that the United Nations declare our caste system as ‘racist’ since forward caste people often dislike being touched by dalits.

The point I seek to make here is this: in times of existential threat like the recession in the US, Australia and elsewhere, human nature regresses to its pre-civilized state and all norms of humanity and pretensions of tolerance are jettisoned in favour of the rule of the jungle.

Ordinarily calm people turn violent.

This may at least partly explain the assault on Indians in Australia where the ongoing recession has naturally led to the locals to perceive Indians as foreigners who are taking away their livelihood.

That brings me to the next point: If during times of distress, Americans and Australians can behave in a violent manner, is it any surprise that there is violence and the Shiv Sena type of chauvinism in India? I may even go as far as saying that considering the extent of deprivation, Indians are admirably non-violent.

Believe it or not, the number of Americans in prison for every thousand of population is more than the proportionate number in Indians in jail .

And India has been on permanent recession.

I have today picked up some gems from a journal where the writer is trying to help his readers to enhance their potential. Every word he says is right but useless too.

See what a brainy young man, who has just joined the workforce, has to say in response to the advice/suggestion/feedback/exhortaion:

Suggestion: COMMUNICATE WELL.

Response: Well what makes you say I do not communicate well to begin with? In school and college I used to even be appreciated for my language and clarity of communication. I was winning debates. I am very confident that my language is good and my grammar correct. Everyone I know in my family and friends said so. What more is needed?  Then you say “Be persuasive”. What do you mean? Am I not good at getting things done? Very few people refuse me what I want. I have a string of happy clients to prove it. You say; try and adopt effective communication skills. Whatever are they and have I not explained my point already?

Suggestion: THINK THREE STEPS AHEAD.

Response: Do you think I am a seer? How do I see ahead? Everything in life is a team effort and most people just don’t put in their 100%. If things are not turning out well, am I solely to blame? OK I know that I must take this into calculations but that I already do. That is as much as I know about the game. Then, where is the problem? And if you feel I do not calculate the exigencies well then let me ask you, have you taught us what is what in this game?

Suggestion: KEEP IT SIMPLE AND SHORT.

Response: Have you tried the technique yourself? What interest do I have in talking on and on to explain my point? We are all at work, doing our jobs. The others are supposed to know what they are doing and they are equally responsible. The problem is that they never do. They know that after all it is my baby and the axe will not fall on their heads. Tell me of one person who would know how to get an ounce of seriousness into these guys. Even after crossing the Ts for them, they go and do the very thing they were told to guard against. I assume you have never tried to sell anything with a sales target quota dangling on your head?

Suggestion: STAY IN HIGH SPIRITS

Response: Frankly I miss the point entirely. With all these untrained lumber loaders around my neck putting spoke in my wheels at every stage of life it is easy to say. There is a saying: The advisors don’t have to pay for it. First I am needed to delegate, then supervise and finally end up redoing it all by myself again. At work it is a madhouse and home is no place to relax and you ask me to stay in high spirits. Have you ever worked in a team which was not of your choosing; where you have all the responsibility but no authority?

Suggestion: ADOPT A FRESH APPROACH.

Response: Shall I fire the team and get a new one? Change my job? Or do you mean I am incompetent? If I were not certain of my methods would I be following them? Why would anyone think this is purposeful advice? Where were these teachers when we were at school and they were appointed for shaping us for life? These people who now want us to change are the ones who taught us earlier or of the same ilk. Then they would not hear a word we had to say. Discussions were discouraged and insistence was taken as argument and opposition. Now when we have been certified as ready for managing our lives and the affairs of men, we are told to forget our old self and recreate into another image. For them it is mere words but have they tried to improve themselves?

Suggestion: BUILD A TEAM.

Response: I knew you would be coming to this eventually. How much choice do I have in life? Did I choose my parents, family, friends, schools, teachers then what makes you think I have any choice about the boss or the team I have? It is so easy to string a few words that mean nothing. It only shows that you have read a few books and become a trainer but with little experience of life. Get your nose to the grinding wheel and let’s meet again in a few years.

And so on and so forth.

I have yet to meet a person who would listen and admit that he has room for improvement. Just to impress the boss and the entourage they may often make a show of humility by saying yes they have faults with a lot of room for improvement. But it is all a sham. They know what they are. They are quite impressed by their selves. The world likes to find fault and criticize. That is the way of the world and best forgotten or ignored for the good of their mental health.

What sounds good and virtuous is left best alone as wonderful words on paper that will go nowhere and take nobody anywhere.

In those days of hardships, fewer educational and employment opportunities, one had to migrate to other larger towns, just to get ourselves better schools.  Having to stay with your uncle or some distant relative, whom we did not know, was a common feature. Often, higher education and job prospects were not available in the same town where your family lived.  In those days it was common to receive and extend such assistance for others’ betterment.

Core values of being respectful to others, sharing with others, learning from elders were imbibed in early childhood.  I was born in Bankikodla, a village  near Gokarn in North Karnataka, where there was no electricity, no gas, no running water in taps – but we never seemed to want anything. One was taught early about the virtues of being satisfied with whatever one had or received in life, without being too greedy for more.  Satisfaction, hard work and honesty were the basic tenets of the teachings that were given prime importance. As a result, one often found many families living within their means, happily and still sharing whatever little they had with others in the extended family and neighbourhood.

I feel greatly disappointed that these three words – satisfaction, hard work and honesty, that I mentioned, are hard to find in the world today.  There are more gadgets, more conveniences, more sophisticated appliances, but we seem to want more – we are never satisfied with what we have.  While the present generation has seen upward mobility of late, I wonder whether they have learnt what excessive greed for money can lead us to?  Greed seems to have no limit! Something that we all were taught early in life was to avoid greed and lust, in those good old days when we had nothing that you see around in abundance. 

What is even more worrying is the amount of money that is handed over to young children without even asking what the money was being spent on! No wonder, such trends can only lead youngsters to take to vices and lead them astray and increase the crime rate involving youngsters.  Pocket money should not be given to children until they learn the value of the money that has been earned by the working members of the family.  Children should be taught how to spend it and asked to account for the money if they have to be given in any case.  Teachers and parents should imbibe the value systems that have stood the test of time so that the future generation will be good, honest and hardworking citizens.

“Never talk rudely”, we were told.  “Always think before you say something and don’t hurt others’ feelings.” We would always be warned that a word could not be taken back, once uttered.  We always obeyed our elders.

TV serials and movies portray rude behaviour, cunning and scheming family members trying to grab property and cheating each other of their money even within their own family!  I wonder how such serials that our electronic media broadcast would be affecting the teenagers and the young children watching such programs? I remember the serials of the yesteryear, especially those directed by Sai Paranjape and some others, which taught the youngsters about the value systems of our society.    Such simple stories with good moral teachings are a rarity these days.

Even the news channels beam the shockingly violent behaviour of our elected representatives, who throw objects at each other, besides horrifying accounts of police personnel beating up petty criminals mercilessly.  One also learns of rapes and murders of minors – even infants, of late!   One really wonders what drives our young individuals to commit such heinous crimes blatantly.  Such incidents were not heard of in those days!  Should the electronic media not introspect about the manner in which they cover such incidents both in reality and in fiction? 

We, citizens of India should feel from our heart that we should never damage any trains or buses or throw stones at our own fellow-citizens, as we are destroying our own property and hurting the trust and faith of our own people by these actions.  Instead of causing riots and planting hatred in the minds of our young people, our leaders should show youngsters the way to be helpful to each other and stay united as good Indians, in both good and bad times.

Only then will our country really prosper.

True said. I feel we have been destroying a lot of things. We are not aware of this fact. Our existence is shortening – like that of a machine. A clear sign is people referring to each other only by the first names and surnames are being dropped. Nor is there any sanctity of prefixes like uncle and aunty. Our language is being replaced by the SMS. All our greetings are very business like, handled by professionals. Everyone getting the same message once you subscribe to a particular download. Reply-to-all button sends it to all. People do not like receiving phone calls or writing expressive emails. The only excuse for this is lack of time to write and read.  We are heading towards isolation. Joint families are being replaced by unit families. There is a rat race to further the career. Friendship is business friendship that is indicated by business communication that is business SMS – sweet mercenary meaningful service.  In my childhood in school and home I had learnt the lesson of kindness and affection towards all fellow beings. The children now learn the lesson of isolation and selfishness. We have started seeing its repercussions.  How can a few people come and misbehave with girls in a pub. There must have been a number of other people around. Shiv Khera said it rightly – the inactivity of good people leads to criminal activity in society. Why do we need moral brigade for common people when even police is inactive?  We have role models for GEN Y like Saif and Kareena Kapoor kissing in public and wearing minimum clothes. We have fashion shows like Gladrags where a swimsuit round is very close to a porno round. Dirty, offensive programs like Roadies where boys are hit on their sex organs.  There is nobody to raise a voice, nor is there any moral brigade. If in the truest sense these people were bent on improving or preserving culture they would object to such things. I fail to understand why there is diversity in the expected behaviour of role models and the standard of behaviour expected from commoners? We are heading towards a change for the worse. We are creating a wasteland.

Creativity is being developed in the means of communicating but none in communicating in the real sense. The change has come. We are heading towards a wasteland existence and would soon resound Eliot.

I sat upon a shore
Fishing, with the arid plain behind me
Shall I at least set my lands in order?
London Bridge is falling down, falling down falling down
_Poi s’ascose nel foco che li affina
Quando fiam ut chelidon_ – O swallow swallow
_Le Prince d’aquitaine à la tour abolie_
These statements I have shored against my ruins
Why then Ile fit you. Hieronymo’s mad againe.
Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata.
Shantih shantih shantih

In the ruins of today, we’ll be forced to build tomorrow.

–

Dr. Neelam Tikkha is a soft skills and motivational trainer, trainer and agent for IELTS for British Council and IDP Australia . Contact her at confidencefoundation@yahoo.com.