One day his horse ran away. All his neighbours exclaimed how terrible this was, but the farmer simply said “Maybe.”

A few days later the horse returned and brought two wild horses with it. The neighbors all rejoiced at his good fortune, but the farmer just said “Maybe.”

The next day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse threw him and the son broke his leg. The neighbours all offered their sympathy for his misfortune, but the farmer again said “Maybe.”

The next week conscription officers came to the village to take young men for the army. They rejectedthe farmer’s son because of his broken leg. When the neighbours told him how lucky he was, the farmer replied “Maybe.”

The same incident was being seen in a different light by the same people. The farmer’s friends were reframing the situation.

What seems to be lucky in one context turns out to be unlucky in another context and the other way round.

Here is another example. A college student breaks his leg during summer vacation. He is crestfallen because he can no longer play tennis and football with his family and friends.

A few days later, he realizes that he now has the quiet, alone time to learn how to play the guitar, something he had always wanted to do but had been too busy to attempt.

He discovers he has a great aptitude for music and becomes a decent guitar player by summer’s end. One year later, he changes his major to music. After graduation he embarks on a successful music career.

Years later, his friends recall how unfortunate his leg fracture was that summer, and he says, “Breaking my leg was the best thing that ever happened to me!”

From then on, whenever he is disabled by injury or illness, he recalls the lesson and is far less despondent over his temporary disability than he otherwise would have been, as he takes the opportunity to do something novel.

The same incident was being seen in a different light by the same person. The musician was reframing the situation.

Proactive Reframing as a Creativity Skill

Reframes are a different way of looking at things. Being able to reframe experiences and situations is a very powerful skill which can help to generate ideas from a different perspective.

In the first example given above, the reframe was triggered by an additional bit of information that was introduced in the story.

In the second example, reframing was done without any additional information. It was a case of more or less proactive reframing.

Such proactive reframing can enhance our creativity manifold. Here are some examples of proactive and deliberate reframing.

v During the 1984 campaign, there was considerable concern about Ronald Reagan’s age. Speaking during the

“There is no use trying,” said Alice. “One can’t believe impossible things.” “I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” - Lewis Carroll

Many people believe that creativity is inborn and only a chosen few are creative. While it is true that creativity is inborn, it is not true that only a chosen few are creative.

Everyone is born creative. In the process of growing up, educating yourself and adapting yourself to your environment, you slowly add blocks to your creativity and forget that you had it in the first place.

The difference between a creative person and a person who is not so creative is not in the creativity that they were born with but in the creativity that they have lost.

How can you enhance your creative ability? One possible way is to observe the habits of creative people, identify the ones that you feel will work for you and then make a plan to cultivate them.

Here are 16 habits of creative people. If you cultivate some of them, you will feel an increase in your level of creativity. In the process, you will also feel tickled by life!

1. Creative people are full of curiosity.

Creative people are wonderstruck. They are tickled by the newness of every moment. They have lots of questions. They keep asking what, why, when, where and how.

A questioning mind is an open mind. It is not a knowing mind. Only an open mind can be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative.

A questioning stance sensitizes the mind in a very special way and it is able to sense what would have been missed otherwise.

2. Creative people are problem-friendly.

When there is a problem, some people can be seen wringing up their hands. Their first reaction is to look for someone to blame. Being faced with a problem becomes a problem. Such people can be called problem-averse.

Creative people, on the other hand, are problem-friendly. They just roll up their sleeves when faced with a problem. They see problems as opportunities to improve the quality of life. Being faced with a problem is never a problem.

You get dirty and take a bath every day. You get tired and relax every day. Similarly, you have problems that need to be solved every day. Life is a fascinating rhythm of problems and solutions.

To be problem-averse is to be life-averse. To be problem-friendly is to be life-friendly. Problems come into your life to convey some message. If you run away from them, you miss the message.

3. Creative people value their ideas.

Creative people realize the value of an idea. They do not take any chance with something so important. They carry a small notepad to note down ideas whenever they occur.

Many times, just because they have a notepad and are looking for ideas to jot down, they can spot ideas which they would have otherwise missed.

4. Creative people embrace challenges.

Creative people thrive on challenges. They have a gleam in their eyes as soon as they sniff one. Challenges bring the best out of them – reason enough to welcome them.

5. Creative people are full of enthusiasm.

Creative people are enthusiastic about their goals. This enthusiasm works as fuel for their journey, propelling them to their goals.

6. Creative people are persistent.

Creative people know it well that people may initially respond to their new ideas like the immune system responds to a virus. They’ll try to reject the idea in a number of ways.

Creative people are not surprised or frustrated because of this. Nor do they take it personally. They understand it takes time for a new idea to be accepted. In fact, the more creative the idea, the longer it takes for it to be appreciated.

7. Creative people are perennially dissatisfied.

Creative people are acutely aware of their dissatisfactions and unfulfilled desires. However, this awareness does not frustrate them. As a matter of fact, they use this awareness as a stimulus to realize their dreams.

8. Creative people are optimists.

Creative people generally have a deeply held belief that most, if not all, problems can be solved. No challenge is too big to be overcome.

This doesn’t mean they are always happy and never depressed. They do have their bad moments but they don’t generally get stumped by a challenge.

9. Creative people make positive Judgment.

A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn. It can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a right man’s brow – a businessman Charles Brower

The ability to hold off on judging or critiquing an idea is important in the process of creativity. Often great ideas start as crazy ones – if critique is applied too early the idea will be killed and never developed into something useful and useable.

This doesn’t mean there is no room for critique or judgment in the creative process but there is a time and place for it and creative people recognize that.

10. Creative people go for the big kill.

Creative people realize that the first idea is just the starting point. It is in the process of fleshing it out that some magical cross-connections happen and the original ‘normal’ idea turns into a killer idea.

11. Creative people are prepared to stick it out.

Creative people who actually see their ideas come to fruition have the ability to stick with their ideas and see them through – even when the going gets tough. This is what sets them apart from others. Stick-ability is the key.

12. Creative people do not fall in love with an idea.

Creative people recognize how dangerous it is to fall in love with an idea. Falling in love with an idea means stopping more ideas from coming to their mind. They love the process of coming up with ideas, not necessarily the idea.

13. Creative people recognize the environment in which they are most creative.

Creative people do most of their thinking in an environment which is most conducive to their creativity. If they are unable to influence their physical environment, they recreate their ‘favourite’ creative environment in their minds.

14. Creative people are good at reframing any situation.

Reframes are a different way of looking at things. Being able to reframe experiences and situations is a very powerful skill.

Reframing allows you to look at a situation from a different angle. It is like another camera angle in a football match. And a different view has the power to change your entire perception of the situation.

Reframing can breathe new life into dead situations. It can motivate demoralized teams. It helps you to spot opportunities that you would have otherwise missed.

15. Creative people are friends with the unexpected.

Creative people have the knack of expecting the unexpected and finding connections between unrelated things. It is this special quality of mind that evokes serendipitous events in their lives.

Having honed the art of making happy discoveries, they are able to evoke serendipity more often than others.

16. Creative people are not afraid of failures.

Creative people realize that the energy that creates great ideas also creates errors. They know that failure is not really the opposite of success.

In fact, both failure and success are on the same side of the spectrum because both are the result of an attempt made. Creative people look at failure as a stopover on way to success, just a step away from it.

]]> http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/16-habits-of-highly-creative-people/feed/ 48 http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/how-to-purposefully-increase-our-natural-creativity/ http://tickledbylife.com/index.php/how-to-purposefully-increase-our-natural-creativity/#comments Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:59:40 +0000 Shalu Wasu http://tickledbylife.com/site/?p=357

There are three different kinds of creative responses.

Back-to-the-wall creativity

There are times when you are stuck in a difficult situation. Your back is to the wall. Your survival instinct comes into play very strongly. There is no option but to find your way out.

Suddenly your mind becomes very creative. It is as if you had a huge reserve of creative energy which is now available to you in one powerful burst. You do your best to come out of the predicament you have got into. And you do.

You can call this sort of creativity back-to-the-wall creativity. You are compelled to be creative because your survival is at stake. You find a solution because you can’t afford not to.

Manna-from-heaven creativity

You are driving on a highway. The weather is great. The landscape is beautiful. There is something in the air that connects you to some childhood memory. Soon your mind starts flitting from one memory to another. You feel very good.

Suddenly, something wells up in you and you are struck by a perfect solution to an unresolved issue. Or it can be a blockbuster of an idea capable of changing the course of your life. How it happens is a mystery.

You can call this sort of creativity manna-from-heaven creativity. It happens unexpectedly. It is a godsend. Some connections are made and magically an idea knocks at your door.

Conscious-and-purposeful creativity

You want to design a new product or launch a new service. Or maybe you are just looking for ways to enhance productivity. You consciously look for a creative solution. You collect all the information.

You get other people’s views.

You look at the problem from several angles and examine it clinically. You spend sleepless nights racking your brains. Then after several days of hard work, you hit upon the perfect solution. You are happy that your efforts have borne fruit.

You can call this sort of creativity conscious-and-purposeful creativity. This is the result of effort, hard work and discipline. It is a cool-headed, deliberate attempt to arrive at a creative solution.

It is all well-earned!

All three kinds of creativity have their due place in life. While the third kind is the result of your own sweat, the first two kinds are seemingly dependent on outside circumstances.

Interestingly, when you use the third kind of creativity more often, it sharpens your creative responses and builds some kind of a ‘reserve’ of creativity in you. It has the effect of enhancing your overall creativity including the first and second kinds.

While the third kind of creativity is obviously ‘well-earned’, the first two kinds are no less so because eventually they too are more or less dependent on the ‘reserve’ built by the third kind!

I realized I was “different” through occasional reminders such as this:  when walking to school in New York many years ago, someone yelled, “Ni Hao Ma?” (i.e. How Are You?) from a block away.  I looked back and a fellow college student I didn’t recognize started waving frantically and flashing his electric smile and blazing white teeth at me.  I wondered what I’ve done to deserve such warmth and friendliness from someone I didn’t know.  Was it simply the color of my skin?

I learned in a flash that you could turn your “weaknesses” into your strengths.  In PR terms, you could brand yourself through your USP, your Unique Selling Proposition.  Instead of denying my background and experiences, I decided to embrace them.

I would carve a career and eventually launch my own PR firm leveraging my understanding of Asia and Asian companies to support them in penetrating the American mainstream.

I would pitch to reporters in my natural accent influenced by all the places I have lived.  And because it was slightly different from a pure American accent, the reporters seemed to remember my voice and my pitches, and soon became my friends and willing contemplators of story ideas.

Can you think of people you know who have turned their weaknesses into strengths?

Our current president Barack Obama did not have the pedigree of a Kennedy, but he leveraged his bi-racial background and his humble international upbringing to win hundreds of millions of supporters around the world.  Take a moment to contemplate your “weaknesses.”   Perhaps they are really your strengths and can be turned into your USP (Unique Selling Proposition) with a little creativity and panache?

When still a baby, the elephant is tethered by a very thick rope to a stake firmly hammered into the ground.

The elephant tries several times to get free, but it lacks the strength to do so. After some time, the animal gives up trying, believing that it cannot be free.

At this point, the trainer changes the thick rope to a thin one but the elephant makes no attempt to run away. Even when the elephant reaches adulthood, it continues to be tethered by a thin rope, reconciled to its captivity.

As you grow up and gain experience, you absorb assumptions which then drive your life and limit your choices. They are similar to the elephant’s thin rope tied to a post. You can break away from them with a simple tug if you want to but you don’t.

As you acquire more and more experience, your repertoire of blind assumptions grows too, correspondingly limiting your choices. Your experience becomes a hindrance in your being creative.

Here is a list of 15 elephant tethers that possibly hold you back from being creative. Look at them and do identify the ones that apply to you. Are you willing to do something about them and break free?

Tether 1. What will people think?

Your selfconsciousness is one big hurdle in your being creative. You don’t even try to do so many things in life because you are afraid of making a fool of yourself. You waste a lot of your energy in protecting yourself and presenting a ‘good’ image.

You had no such inhibitions as a child and therefore you were naturally creative. It is perhaps the fear of the unknown and what might happen that makes you selfconscious. It holds you back and hinders your creativity.

When you walk into something in spite of the fear, it simply vanishes because by then the unknown turns into the known. The trick is not to think in terms of conquering fear but being with it.

When you let go of your selfconsciousness, you turn more creative.

Tether 2. But I’ve never had any great ideas!

Most people don’t have enough opportunities to bring out their creativity. So their creative abilities remain untapped. It seems to make no difference because not being creative is not too inconvenient.

Being creative is actually a search for a better way and in today’s world most solutions come ready-made. Most of the things that you do have been researched and the ‘best’ ways to do them have been arrived at.

Most people follow the standard ‘best’ ways without questioning Рhow to clean teeth, how to reach office, etc. They do a great number of tasks automatically.

Trying a ‘different way’ may in fact be inconvenient in most situations Рdriving speed, the route to office, how to tie your shoe knots, standing in the queues, etc.

Most of these automatic ways are perhaps good. By sticking with them, you are able to accomplish many tasks without thinking. They save time but you end up with the habit of not thinking afresh.

Over time, you develop attitudes and assumptions which prevent you from thinking creatively, locking you into the existing ways of thinking and doing things. You become a prisoner of familiarity. You never have great ideas.

As a result, even when the need arises for you to think differently and generate new ideas, you are unable to do so.

Tether 3. What is the right answer?

One of the worst aspects of formal education is the focus on the correct answer to a question or problem. When somebody asks a question, you generally give an acceptable answer instead of an original one fearing it might be wrong.

While this approach helps you to function smoothly in society, it hurts creative thinking. Real-life issues are ambiguous. There is no one single answer to any problem. There can be several answers if only you think about them. They may all be contradictory and yet correct.

Tether 4. I don’t want to fail.

The fear of failure is something that you learn in school…and it never just goes away. All through school, you perhaps take hundreds of tests, exams, assignments, etc. You are in one big trouble if you fail even once. You are scared of failure.

By the time you finish school, the fear of failure has seeped into your system and you avoid situations which could result in failure. You are extra-careful about whatever you take up. You play safe.

The fear of failure does not let you try new things, crippling your creativity.

Tether 5. That’s not my area.

Creativity requires finding connections between unrelated things. The diversity of your interests and experiences enhances your ability to find connections.

When you explore completely unrelated areas, you are pleasantly surprised by the interrelatedness of almost everything. You start seeing new possibilities when you discover new connections.

In an era of hyper-specialization, the scope of work is getting narrower and narrower. Loss of creativity is the immediate casualty.

When you just stick to your area, you hinder your creativity.

Tether 6. I don’t like uncertainty.

If you are not confused, you are not thinking clearly – Tom Peters

When people are confused, they feel compelled to resolve the situation quickly, making it systematic and orderly again. They are likely to miss the key issues in their haste to do so.

There is something in the culture or perhaps in the education system, which makes people want to be ‘knowers’ rather than ‘find-outers’.

This attachment to ‘knowing’ makes you feel jittery and inept when you ‘don’t know’. This tendency is so engrained that even small kids begin to lose their curiosity in order to become ‘knowers’.

However, when it comes to creative thinking, not knowing is a good thing and ambiguity is a great thing. Certainty is the enemy of creativity.

If you are certain about something, you don’t have much leeway to generate new ideas to solve problems.

Tether 7. That’s the way it is done!

The need for standard ways of doing things is perfectly legitimate. But then it gives rise to an ever increasing number of rules that govern people’s lives.

While some of the rules are legitimate, some are totally unfounded. They are not very different from the thin rope that tethers the elephant.

Tether 8. Everyone says so.

When all think alike, then no one is thinking. — Walter Lippman

The desire to belong is a powerful one and at times it leads to ‘groupthink’. This herd approach is probably a relic from the cave age. It is important to have a mind of your own in order to be creative.

Tether 9. How can a boss lose face ever?

Bosses are generally hung up on being always right. It is unimaginable for them to be proved wrong. They just can’t afford to lose face. Such over-protection of their ego hinders their creativity.

Employees almost always tend to go along with bosses. While harmless minor disagreements are okay, they are careful not to have a difference of opinion when it comes to larger issues.

No boss can be creative if he is surrounded by people who can’t dare to contradict him. He will be provoked into thinking creatively only when his views are challenged by someone.

Tether 10. My work is so boring.

One of the perils of over specialization is repetitive and uninteresting work. It makes you resentful, robbing you of your creative urges.

Tether 11. Smart people respond quickly.

When quick response is valued, you avoid deep thinking missing out on the finer points of an issue. You start giving out readymade answers. In trying to be smart, you sacrifice creative possibilities.

Tether 12. I feel safe when I am like everyone else.

People start off as unique beings. They are very different from each other as children and young adults with their very own likes and dislikes.

Yet, as if by magic, they get into a common mould after they reach their thirties. Their likes, dislikes, wants, needs and goals somehow begin to converge. They seem to become more and more like one another.

As a result, their creative abilities suffer.

Tether 13. I have strong views and firm opinions.

There are people who pride themselves for having firm stands and being inflexible. They have strong views and unshakable opinions. They are too judgmental.

Being judgmental means blocking or ignoring other points of views. It means reducing your options and leaving your mind with much less to work with. It is then reflected in your ability to generate ideas and solutions.

When you are nonjudgmental, you have an open mind. You have more choices. Being nonjudgmental reduces the surface functioning of your mind, stimulating its deeper functioning.

Then you allow your unconscious mind to throw up more ideas into your conscious mind. You are more creative.

Tether 14. Why keep thinking unnecessarily when I have found the answer?

Such is the hurry to find a solution that people are satisfied with the first one that comes to their mind. They stop thinking further.

However, if you don’t share your ‘first’ idea and keep thinking more and more, the subsequent ones are sure to be better.

The more you think, the more the chances to find better solutions. You never know when you will hit the jackpot.

Tether 15. Self-fulfilling prophecy

Two similarly qualified groups of engineers in a company were exhibiting different levels of creativity.

The two groups were alike in all respects. In the research subsequently conducted by the company, there was only one finding.

The difference between the two groups was that engineers on one group believed that ‘I am creative’ and engineers from the other group believed otherwise.

I will of course keep updating my progress. So can you.

1. Exercise

Everyone knows regular exercise can do wonders for your body and mind! Start small, keep it simple and keep going!

2. Learn to reframe any situation

A reframe is a different way of looking at things. Being able to reframe experiences and situations is a very powerful skill which can help to generate ideas from a different perspective. Read this article – Reframing a situation for creative ideas.

3. Figure out what time to get up

People fret so much about what is the best time to get up in the morning. Getting up early seems to work for a lot of people, but it is not for everyone. The only way to find out the hours when you are most productive is to experiment. So try getting up early for a few days and try moving to a different pattern every few days. Stick to the one that feels most natural and productive. For me, getting up early has never worked, so I work late and get up late.

4. Remove blame from your relationships

Stopping the blame game will remove negative energy and pay rich dividends. Check out these articles – On living life and building relationships without blame, Mars and Venus as each other’s teachers.

5. Patience is bliss

I admire people who do not lose their patience. I am what a lot of people would call a very patient guy, but I see a lot of benefits in developing this habit even more. The good thing is that patience is a skill that can be cultivated. “It’s in my genes” is not a good excuse.

6. Empathize

There is a very old American Indian saying that we should not judge a man till we have walked for a mile in his shoes.

When we look at any situation from our point of view, we are looking for options, ideas and solutions from one point of view. However if we try and look at any situation from another person’s point of view, the options, solutions and ideas that we will get will change and most of the time for the better! If we can make it a habit to look at each situation from multiple points of view, the options, ideas and solutions available to us will also multiply. This is particularly so in situations related to personal relationships. When we have a sense of empathy, there are greater chances that our solutions will be WIN-WIN rather than WIN-LOSE.

7. Passion rocks

Everything seems to fall in place if YOU have figured out what drives you. If you have lost your passion (or never had any) for your work or relationships, figure out a way to get it back. (Changing jobs is 112 times easier than doing the same to your relationships though!) Check out this article – Passion is your real wealth!

8. Eat healthy

Again, a no brainer but so important. Your body (including your brain) is made up of the food you eat. What do you want it to be made up of?

9. Cut down one recurring task every week

It could be putting your bills on auto pilot, some money automatically getting deposited into your savings account, creating rules for your email to get deposited into different folders, electronic payments instead of depositing cheques, delegating responsibility and authority, or outsourcing.

10. Make friends with failure

Failure has such negative connotations, and yet failure is what brings us closer to success every time. Many times failure is essential for us to move on to the next level. Find more in this article – I love to fail.

11. Get comfortable with ambiguous situations

Generally we are uncomfortable with uncertainty. When we are in this state, we feel irritable. We try and resolve the uncertainty in order to be comfortable again quickly. We feel compelled to appear more certain, confident and decisive than we really are at that time. So we would rather leap to a conclusion and then focus our energies in defending it. This, most of the time is the sub optimal solution.

12. Be curious

A curious mind enables you to see what most people generally miss. By keeping your curiosity and a sense of wonder alive, you spur your mind to create new channels of thought. You find new connections and become more creative. Check out this article – Is curiosity a cousin of creativity?

13. Live with a purpose

Have a ‘big goal’ in life. Life without a big goal is dull, meaningless and boring. After you have determined your ‘big goal’, make sure that every day takes you closer to the big goal.

14. Have fun on the way

It is important to work towards big goals and even more important to have fun on the way. The goals are a means to have fun on the way!

15. Have a soulmate

To live is to relate. When you have a relationship of deep affinity, empathy and mutual trust with someone, you have a sense of completion and life suddenly starts feeling rich and bright.

16. Take on debt

Yes, you read that right! Very few people have grown very rich without leveraging. So, be cautious but take on healthy debt. Just make sure your returns are more than the cost of money though!

17. Enjoy the simple pleasures

The simple pleasures are more satisfying, longer lasting and often free! So try sleeping in late, lie down in the grass, stomp in a puddle, call in sick and go for a movie, help someone anonymously. A good idea is to make a list of 25 of these and make sure you do tick off a few every day!

18. Learn to say No

Being able to say NO is perhaps the most useful productivity tool out there. Check out this article for more on this subject – Say NO and feel great!

19. Peace-of-mind fund

Again, something basic but very useful if you have not already worked on it. Having an emergency cash fund that will last you 6 months will give you an extra punch in your next discussion with your boss!

20. Cut down on the news

Watching or reading most news is useless and depressing. A lot of it is an attempt to influence your mind anyway. Give yourself a break. Stop watching or reading news. If something is worth knowing, you will get to know!

21. Create family time

Just do it. You know in your guts that it is the most important thing. Go with your gut feel. Do not allow your conscious mind to win on this one.

22. Be yourself

Don’t waste your energy in wearing masks. Paradoxically, no transformation is possible without self-acceptance.

23. Learn to lose!

Losing an argument (and not feeling bad) is absolutely wonderful for relationships. You’ve got to try it and see for yourself. But remember, the key is losing an argument and not carrying any negative feelings forward.

24. Get out

A lot of us have forgotten the great outdoors! When we are not in our cubicle, we are probably watching TV or surfing the net. The same is true for kids. Spending time in a park or near a lake is therapeutic!

25. Delegate

It’s better for both of you! Find out more here – Dare to delegate.

26. Boost your self-worth

You are what you think. Stop comparing. You are one in six billion with unique strengths. Take some time to appreciate yourself for all your wonderful qualities. It may be worth it to check out what qualities all your friends see in you! Also, keep it in mind that you are never too small to make an impact!

27. Do not fear rejection

The fear of rejection is worse than the rejection itself! Check out Dealing with rejection in your job, you are approved! Certified, signed and stamped by YOU! and Fear of rejection

28. Use email efficiently

It is not uncommon to save many hours a week by being more efficient with your emails. Check out - I save 1 hour every day by using simple email tricks!

29. Hang around young people once in a while

Apart from making you feel energetic, this will trigger off a lot of ideas and probably open up your mind to what is the next big thing.

30. Learn how to present better

Presentation skills are very important. The good thing is that most of us have lousy presentation skills and so it is easy to stand out! Take a look at my first attempts at standing out – Avoiding death by Power Point.

31. If you smoke, quit!

I do not need to read any more. Read this if you are not convinced. – Kick the butt. Get a Life!

32. Brand yourself

In the world that we live in, it is important to treat yourself as a brand. Read this article – Success through Personal Branding!

33. Learn mind mapping

Mind maps are helpful in generating tons of ideas quickly. Read – My journey with Mind Maps.

34. Be more creative

“The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything.” – George Lois.

Creativity can solve almost any problem. Read these popular articles. Why be creative?, 16 habits of highly creative people and 15 elephant tethers that stop you from being creative!

35. Be good at saying sorry

When you say sorry something magical happens and the world conspires to make you win! Look people in the eye when you say sorry.

36. Be fantastic at saying thank you

Repeat.

37. Keep learning something

Never stop challenging yourself. You could learn a new language, build a website, start a blog, or write a book.

38. Imagine

Some people call it day dreaming! It just works wonders as relaxant and of course it helps in boosting your creativity. Imagination is visualizing something that is not there. It is seeing something with your mind’s eye. It is the bridge between ‘what is’ and ‘what can be’! Check out – Is imagination another cousin of creativity?

39. Stay Positive in negative situations

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

40. Be aware that you are procrastinating

Procrastination itself may not be bad. It may simply be your mind telling you to go slow or maybe your subconscious mind does not agree with a rational decision that the conscious mind has made. Just be aware so that it may not become a bad habit. This might help – Understanding and Overcoming Procrastination

41. Review your day

A very useful habit that helps to keep the focus and helps to plan the next day. Just 2 minutes before going off to sleep may be enough.

42. Do not bust other people’s ideas

Even the ability to come up with ideas of your own does not give you the right to bust other people’s ideas. Read this useful article. – Idea Busters at the work place!

43. Keeping in touch with old friends

This is something that I am very bad at. My plan is to make one phone call to a forgotten friend every week.

44. Don’t keep doing ‘something’

Being busy sometimes becomes a habit. We feel uncomfortable when we are doing ‘nothing’. Don’t let that happen to you. It is simply wonderful not to be doing anything (sometimes!).

45. Smile

Something so basic and yet so powerful!

46. Assume the other person genuinely likes you

You will be surprised at the remarkable change in your relationship.

47. Break your regular patterns

Don’t let your brain get too comfortable! Shake it up every now and then. Take a different route home, cook something no one has ever cooked before, go for a movie during lunch time.

48. Get to the root

Every problem usually has 2 solutions. A temporary fix and a permanent solution. A permanent solution may require more time and effort initially but it is in almost all situations, the better choice.

49. Learn to unlearn

Sometimes it seems that the whole world is trying to teach us something. It is overwhelming and can get you into a rut. It is important to do a regular clean up exercise. Check this out – The power of unlearning

See you in Shangri La!

That is how the phenomenon of serendipity is generally defined.

But I am not quite at ease with this definition because it implies that serendipity is passive and we cannot do anything about it apart from just sitting back, doing our work and waiting for a eureka moment to pop up!

I look at the phenomenon differently. The key point here is who makes the discovery and how. It is a certain state of mind which registers a discovery when it is ‘primed’ to do so. Else the discovery would go unnoticed.

So there are really two elements – the discovery and the discoverer. They are not mutually exclusive. They do not happen in isolation. They arise together. That also explains why everyone is not ‘lucky’ enough to make happy discoveries.

Let us first see what stops us from making happy discoveries. We have been conditioned to see what we expect. Our preconceptions creep into whatever we come across. We don’t see things as they are but as we expect them to be.

Secondly, we force our preconceptions into whatever we do and want a task to go along predetermined lines. Too obsessed with how things should be, we don’t recognize lucky turns of events and new possibilities.

As a result, we block the unexpected, turn a blind eye to the unfamiliar and miss out on serendipitous happenings.

All the wonderful people who made wonderful discoveries were able to find a connection between the outcome of an experiment and something which was bubbling in their brains because they had an open mind.

If we have an open and receptive mind, we will start seeing what we generally don’t see. Then we will let a task proceed the way it wants to by its own momentum instead of forcing our preconceptions into it.

Then the possibility inherent in the situation will come to surface. Noticing that possibility is what serendipity is about. What we get in this way can be much more than what we were looking for.

What it boils down to is this. The happy discovery does not happen by itself. It is brought into being by a mind that is able to notice it. It co-arises with an open mind.

In other words, an open mind evokes serendipity. Serendipity is therefore not really a passive phenomenon. It is not an accident but an art that can be cultivated. That is how I look at serendipity.

1. You are doing everyone a favour by saying no.

Whenever you are saying NO to someone, remember that it is for their benefit! By saying no, you are

• Giving the person an opportunity to look for someone who can do the job better.

• Avoiding negative feelings about the person.

2. Visualize the alternative (to saying no) in vivid detail.

• You will feel bad and will curse yourself for accepting the task.

• You will do a bad job.

• You will hate the person for putting this on to you.

• The person will hate you for doing a bad job.

• You should not have said yes, if you were not going to do a good job, the person will tell you later.

3. Remember what happened the last time you said yes!

4. Use the situation as an opportunity to build a better relationship.

If you like the person and don’t want to burn your bridges then having to say no can actually be a great opportunity to improve your relationship with this person. This is very much possible, provided you take the extra effort to honestly explain to the person why you cannot do this and why you value the relationship and that you really believe that by doing a half-baked job you will be hurting the relationship.

5. Enjoy!

Sometimes, saying no is just pure joy! The joy gets magnified if you do not provide any reasons at all!

6. Go overboard explaining why you cannot.

The explaining might make the person feel better than if you had said yes!

7. Use the big–picture test.

Focus on the big picture. What are your ultimate goals and objectives? Is this task in sync with your goals? If not, just say no and rest assured that you have made the correct decision.

8. Use a bit of cunning if you need to (in this order).

a. Negotiate. If you can take this off my plate, then I can do that. Or if I can get resources for this, then I can do that.

b. Postpone. Let me think about it and get back to you on email.

c. Deflect. I cannot do this BUT I can help you with that.

d. Bluff. Carry around your dummy calendar (choc a bloc of course) and show it to the person!

e. Throw the ball back. Ask for help in deciding how you should fit in the new task on the list of priorities (especially if it is your boss).

f. Lower expectations. Point out that you might be able to do everything, but not to the usual high standards that are expected.

g. Googly or curve ball. Say yes, then call back or SMS in the next 10 minutes to say why you cannot do it. Why 10 minutes? Well because that is the average time required for homo sapiens to come up with a good excuse.

h. Scare them off if nothing works! It’s just that I have this crazy flu and I don’t want you to get it

9. If they get really pushy, switch gears and think of it as a game.

There is no way you can say yes NOW! Smile and tell them so.

10. And before we end, here are a few statements for you to practice!

• I have another commitment.
• I have no experience with that.
• I know you will do a wonderful job yourself.
• I am in the middle of several projects.
• I am not comfortable with that.
• I need to leave some free time for myself.
• I would rather decline than do a mediocre job.
• I am not taking on any new responsibilities.
• I would rather help out with another task.
• Let me hook you up with someone who can do it.
• I am not the most qualified person for the job.
• I do not enjoy that kind of work.
• I do not have any more room in my calendar.
• I hate to split my attention among projects.
• I need to focus more on my personal life.
• I need to focus on my career right now.
• Some things have come up that need my attention.
• This really is not my strong point.

–

Shalu Wasu is a creativity consultant and trainer based in Singapore apart from being guest faculty at select institutes. To attend his one-day open programme on creativity on 15th January, 2009 at NUS, Singapore, please visit www.lifeahoy.sg or contact shalu@lifeahoy.sg.

I must admit I am a bit tired of it all. Why should I get up early in the first place? What have I got to prove?
So here are 10 points about why you should stay up late and still not feel bad when you come across another article by the self-help gurus who preach getting up early in the morning!

Why you should stay up LATE!

1.    There is nothing ‘natural’ about getting up early in the morning. It perhaps made sense a few hundred years ago when sunlight was the only source of light and you could only get your work done when the sun was shining – so getting up early was required to maximize working time. This argument does not hold anymore – at least in places that have electricity. (If you are reading this, your house/office has electricity).
2.    It is a myth that you ‘save time’ by getting up early. Well, each day has 24 hours and if you sleep for 6 hours, you have 18 hours to do everything else, irrespective of when you sleep and when you get up.
3.    If you get up early, you’ll need to sleep early. If you sleep early, you miss out on all the exciting stuff that happens late at night! Most people start winding down around 8pm and are off to bed soon after. Most people have 1-2 hours of leisure time in the evening before they sleep. But this amount of time is not really enough to plan anything meaningful. On the other hand if you know that after finishing dinner at 9pm, you still have another 3-4 hours, it just opens up so many possibilities. You can read a book, watch a movie, work or simply talk.
4.    Toiling away late into the night while the rest of the world sleeps is such a beautiful feeling! It is so still and quiet.
5.    To just look out of your window or balcony at 3 am is such a moving sight. The whole city is bathed in a warm yellow glow, everyone is peacefully asleep, even your noisy neighbour. I would not miss the feeling for anything.
6.    Some of the meals that I have enjoyed the most have been the late night snacks that I had while I was studying at IIMA. We used to get very hungry when we studied till late and either we used to cook up something around 3 in the morning or walk down to the NR (night retreat – a late night in-campus restaurant). If you haven’t had a meal at 3 am, you’ve been missing something.
7.    There are few things as surreal as a late night jog through an otherwise crowded place (during the day). It is a wonderful feeling to go for a jog around 1 am and just notice the stillness around you. It is amazingly peaceful and you get great ideas as well!
8.    I am at my productive best when I work late. There are no distractions, no noise, no school bus to miss, no newspaper headlines to read. Knowing that there is nothing else between now and sleep time except what I am working on right now is a nice feeling.
9.    When you sleep late, you will usually get up late and that can be so effective because you will do the boring/usual/essential stuff very quickly indeed. It is so much fun to get ready in a hurry. You find out just how quickly and efficiently you can shave among other things.
10.    It is an amazing end to the day if you have been working late and have been able to do some good work. The feeling of satisfaction and contentment that you get as you lie down and close your eyes is not matched by anything else.

So, stop fretting about what time to get up in the morning. Getting up early seems to work for a lot of people, but it is not for everyone. The only way to find out the hours when you are most productive is to experiment. So try getting up early for a few days and try moving to a different pattern every few days. Stick to the one that feels most natural and productive.

Read another point of view here - Addicted to the snooze button?

The challenge is in uncovering the hidden self of a person by ways and means other than the obvious. One of the newer trends is in Mess Analysis. The human mind is very simple. It zeros in on the obvious. The guy whose drawer is in a mess is seen as having a disorganized pattern of thinking too. This is as crude as it can get. The human psychological make-up is rather complex and a given tendency may not reflect presumed truth. Take for instance the people who like cleanliness and order as predicted by astrology for Virgo people. My experience is that they are so concerned with cleanliness and order that they become a pain in the neck for everybody; there is very little left in their lifestyle to accommodate others.

A spic and span attitude shows them as intelligent, capable and of course better than others; so they really expect appreciation. Even the slightest hint that their decisions and methods may not be the best usually puts them in a defensive mode and they will then argue to justify themselves till they browbeat you into silence. Now if this were true, of what use is the orderliness? Perfection for perfection’s sake is difficult to digest in this imperfect world. I have lived with such people and found them to be intractable and difficult to make friends with. They are very intelligent but use their intelligence to find fault with everything and everybody around them. Order and cleanliness are wonderful things and we should live by the highest standards but they make one so predictable and boring.

On the other extreme of the spectrum is the unruly creative person who has so many possibilities jostling in his head and has many projects at any given time. Then it is not always easy or practical to complete every project in one go so it presupposes that he would have incomplete projects lying around that seem a mess to the uninitiated. If the visitor jumps to the conclusion that this man would not amount to anything then he would be totally wrong because he would have failed to see the genius behind it all. I am personally very comfortable with this kind of a person. I have this nephew who is rather a remarkably intelligent person. He is into quality control which means he is always learning new trends, techniques, technologies and processes. That keeps his mind sharp. Add to this his ability to converse well and get his point across. The flip side of all this is that he has many things on his plate at any given time and the chances are that whatever can be made to wait keeps going down on the list of to-do’s. So out necessity and somewhat by temperament he has become a ‘procrastinator’. He is kind-hearted to a fault and has not learnt to say ‘no’. So people make demands on him because they know that he would do the job well. The poor fellow has little time as he travels and is out of town quite often; then there are pressing needs of his own family when he does happen to be home.

I must admit that if I wanted my letter to be posted, I would certainly not trust him. But if I were seriously sick, he is the first person I would want around me.

Ask any homicide detective: the obvious is almost a worthless indicator of anything. Until we learn to go behind the veil that all of us create about us, the façade will mislead us every time. Predictable facades are the most misleading.

Blame is pinpointing to someone else, criticizing or holding someone or something other than self as responsible or indulge in a finger pointing exercise or harass with constant criticism.

I speak from a personal experience. I grew up as a child blaming and being blamed in equal measure. As a teenager, I was steeped in being blamed. As a young adult I decided in my subconscious that I was not going to take it any more and would retaliate strongly whenever I was blamed. So I played my part passing on blame whenever possible to whoever was willing to take it. I assumed it to be a logical way of living, blissfully ignorant of the pain I was causing to myself indirectly and to the others directly. I had absolved myself of any wrong doing and I thought that I had a right to be angry and aggressive.

At another level we had it reinforced in us in subtle ways that we had to be ashamed and repent or at least feel remorseful of all the wrong doings or we were most welcome to go on a guilt trip if you please.

So we excavated each little error, each little mistake and grew more and more self-righteous. Since we had confessed our sins now it was your turn. And if you did not, you were slotted as arrogant and headstrong. So the spiral escalated.

As I reach my middle age, I realize and look back with amusement and amazement at the sad designs we drew for ourselves and those we professed to love.

Why do we blame another?

It makes us feel good. It makes us feel that we are right and helps us place the responsibility on another person. It gives us licence to be aggressive on the one hand and feel like a victim on the other hand.

Our human mind works in myriad ways, seeking, coping, releasing or protecting this simple fragile self. As a result we behave in a manner in tune with this inner need.

What happens to the other person when we blame?

He probably gets a little disoriented if he is not in the wrong. He can withdraw, blame back or just cut off. Communication gets choked. To overcome this, one could have dialogue in a mature fashion. It calls for a humungous inner strength to speak the truth with candour and courage. One of the major fears of this action is the consequence that can happen.

Another perspective

As a non-violent communication (NVC) supporter, I see and experience that it is possible to communicate without negative feelings.

Imagine that all humans regardless of caste, colour or creed are here in this world for a purpose even if they are not aware of it. No life is complete when a person dies, merely a level is done and he has to move onto another level. He was here because he had to learn how to cope with issues that he created for himself, choosing lessons that he needed to learn. He could either sail through or make it worse or play it the way he chose at the beginning. That’s free will for you.

For instance let’s say that I need to learn lessons on how to cope with abandonment. I lost my dad when I was 8. Though I could not articulate the pain or loss, the fear and anxiety remain. Years later I subconsciously play it out with over-dependence on my close ones. This could irritate my daughter who needs to learn to cope with self-reliance. Surely there’s going to be blame, and fault-finding and the whole works.

If I could remember that she’s not here because of me or for me, she’s here to learn her lessons, and I can at best be there for her like the way I did when she was in her school, it would give me the distance and acceptance that there is nothing to blame anybody for. Everyone is who they are.

It has even given me an insight into the Gestalt Prayer.

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.
(Fritz Perls, 1969)

More than anything else it gives me the perspective and freedom. It liberates me and makes me responsible for myself. And it gives new insights into detachment, opening myself, independent of reasoning ability, to meet others’ blame with skill, grace and ease.

So how can I live in harmony?

I need to let go of worn-out limited beliefs. I simply have to accept that everybody is in their rightful orbit. There are more possibilities than what I can comprehend. There is a guiding hand in everyone’s life.

And this too will pass.

Shyleswari Rao runs a training organization Ved Vyas Inner Space and conducts workshops on Personal Mastery which are highly interactive, experiential and insightful for organizations, NGOs and educational institutions. Please visit www.vedvyasinnerspace.com or contact her at shylahrd@gmail.com.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

The operative word here is BELITTLE and SMALL PEOPLE. Following my trend of thought, I went to the next question – why do we feel the need to belittle anyone at all? This style of belittling others is a quaint little habit. You will notice it is a regular habit in some people. Their persona is wrapped around it. It is impossible to make a statement or ask these people anything and it becomes an opening for them to show their wit rather than answer the question in a down-to-earth way or give a plain unadorned answer. Every time they open their mouth some pearls of wisdom slip out which to me seem to be just witty sarcasm couched in the pronouncements of the-wiser-than thou.

The answer always carries 4 elements: 1) The actual answer, 2) the hidden emphasis on the stupidity of the question or statement, 3) the indication that the one making the answer/comment is from a higher realm of existence and 4) the invisible creation of a wall that you are never allowed to pierce. The beauty of the whole is that sometimes the comments and remarks come from total strangers who are not even privy to the exchange. In familiar gatherings, interrupting the conversations of others with witticisms of one own is often seen, but from strangers…? I find this a bit too much; especially when you are in public environment like the post office or a railway compartment. These people, who sometimes even go on to monopolize the conversation until they are forced to stop.

I have known some people for half my life time or more. They are part of the family or professional circle and cannot be totally ignored. Once in a while there is no avoiding them in a social way. Yet in all these years I have been unable to have a focused conversation of five lines with them. They never reply to the question directly. Even an innocuous question like “How is your health?” got me an answer like “Why, what is wrong with my health?” And this is the milder side of the coin. Quite often in the guise of a joke, they come down to downright ridicule; Ha, Ha, Ha. Why? What are they trying to prove? Or are they protecting themselves from exposure knowing fully well their own lack of depth and understanding?  They make it clear that we can be part of their entourage but never their equal.

All these write-ups that I pen, I wanted to put them into a collection and get them published in a book form for whatever they are worth. So I, requested a close friend of many years in the publishing line to see if he could find me an appropriate publisher. For two years I was given the royal lip service. Then one day I asked him point-blank if he would help or not. His answer came as advice that I should at least first read some other established writers and acquaint myself of how things should be written. Thereby clearly telling me what he thought of me. So I asked him if he had at least read any of my write-ups. The answer was NO. Well, I could not resist telling him off after that. He has been sulking all along since. So be it.

To me all this sounds very much like the childish behaviour of the immature snob who is inherently intelligent and successful in his field. It gets awfully bad when by some quirk of fate they have come into money. One has to then admit that in one’s own interest, not to spoil relations one allows them to get away with it. But the question is – what relations? They will never allow you to come that close anyway?

I for one have now decided enough is enough. I tick them off and enjoy seeing them sulk. If they can do without me so can I without them. Life is too short to worry of the consequences of falling into their bad books.

PK is a teacher of languages/communication, counsellor and a businessman active in 6 countries. He combines his knowledge of life with his education in management, applied psychology and occult psychology from his time in The Ashram in Pondicherry and assists aspiring managers to reach their next level. Please visit http://sites.google.com/site/pkcentreforchange/Home

Very recently I received a power point presentation called the peacock in the land of penguins. In the final paragraphs it clarifies how in life and in organizations, creative people are recruited because fresh talent and creativity is required to rejuvenate the organization but then once “in”, the new recruits are put under pressure to conform to the older and staid rules of thinking and behaviour. Alas; this is life! The Ford Motor Co is a fine example of this malaise. In an organization, at least, the recruit has an option to leave and look elsewhere and many do. The misfortune of life is that all the cards are stacked in favour of those at the top in any hierarchy, be it commercial or social. A candidate who changes his organization or activity too often will not be seen as a multi-tasker and talented, rather this would almost certainly be seen as a sign of inconsistent behaviour and even failure.

Most people think, work and live their life generally with the prejudices that they tend to pick up in their short lives. A good professional education gives them the wherewithal to make something of their lives. Most are really capable and in their chosen field do rise to the top but soon get stuck in their own success. It is happening with clockwork regularity with all of us. Look around and you will see people with promise and acumen who were success stories in their prime now are stuck in their typical groove; nothing wrong in this except the fact that they are now in a position of authority and so involved with themselves that their eyes and minds are closed to all inputs differing from their own standpoints. It can be difficult for their juniors because they are not only in a position to stifle their juniors they do so with gusto. Their influence extends even to people in their surroundings; you can only be an extension to their selves.

Once in a position of influence every individual regales in it. Bosses browbeat their juniors, teachers ask for silence, DMs (District Magistrates) order lathi charges, husbands batter their wives into submission and wives teach husbands a lesson or two through passive aggression. The question is why? I have seen this happen over and over again. Why do we first create a relationship and then go all out to break it?

It seems so silly to desire to be surrounded by fresh ideas, voices and talents but not give them any rope. Instead of making use of their creative abilities and being their mentors, elders become their tormentors more out to prove themselves in their elegant superiority. We are looking for a quiet audience; not partners or associates. In personal relationships, this scenario is played out in every marriage. It has always puzzled me no end why people who profess to need each other and love each other to the end of time soon start berating each other, see only their faults and the favourite phrase between them is often “shut up” and “leave me alone”.

Have you heard the wisecrack “Be reasonable, do it my way”? This seems to be the main theme of life. If only we could get away with it. In the last few months I have had the good luck to read about Pablo Picasso and see him in a movie too. From what I can gather, this man of prodigious talent, found material success in a big way and could cater to every whims of his. Yet like the last Nizam of Hyderabad, he was living in glorious loneliness. He was really a man of great capabilities and sadly nothing of it ever passed on; what a tragedy. There was no sharing. He spoke and you listened. He did his bidding. He entered into relationships with no intention to maintain any. Many women came in his life and out they went. As the women recount, he would suck the life out of them and give nothing in return. If only he had shared some of his spirit and let it live after him!

I have known closely another brilliant man. The first in his family to become a graduate in the 1940s, he was a capable artist, musician and very good with his hands and well-read too. He rose to an eminent position in the business world and was highly respected as a brilliant and creative manager. He was genuinely interested in life and learning was in his blood. This was when he was in his thirties and forties. He was so well ensconced in his life that he forgot to upgrade himself with time and forgot the art of listening. He never shared his experiences and wisdom. By the fifties his aura was diminishing and by the time it was time to retire he was a highly respected man in the organization but the upper management would keep him a little isolated by making him a master of project in which interaction was limited with the rest of the organization. His family was in awe of him for the most part of his life and afraid for the rest. Slowly he was being left alone as he would not let anyone speak in front of him. The only person who talked back at him was his wife and she never had much good to say. More often than not, when they were not bickering they were not on talking terms at all. He died a depressed man.

“Why quarrel?” was and is my question. Why not make the best of the relationship and enjoy the togetherness by listening and giving? But this seems to be the most difficult part of the bargain. Instead we throw out our ire on the closest and nearest and make our own lives miserable to boot.

Rejection is a given – no matter how fabulous you are, you will at some point be rejected. What’s not a given (and where your power lies) is how you react to rejection. Here are some tips to keep rejection in its place:

1.) Realize it’s not about you. Let’s face it, we all think we’re the center of the universe. If someone turns us down for lunch, it must be because they don’t want to be with us. We will disregard the other 43 possible explanations (they already had plans, a last minute meeting was called, they are broke and can’t afford lunch, etc. etc. etc.). We are hardest on ourselves. Try again – maybe the timing simply wasn’t right. Don’t give up!

2.) Maybe your “prospect” doesn’t have enough information. They don’t know all your charms yet (because if they knew you, they’d love you!) or they don’t have enough information about your company. Or your approach was wrong for them. Don’t give up – on average it takes seven contacts to make a sale – I think this is true for building a relationship of any sort. It takes multiple contacts.

3.) If you have tried and tried again, maybe your rejecter was actually doing you a favor. Some clients are more trouble than they’re worth. Some relationships bring more pain than joy. If someone doesn’t value you after repeated exposures – move on to the next person. There are LOTS of prospects out there.

4.) Are you rejecting yourself? If you go into a sales call thinking “I know they won’t be interested” or if you approach a potential date thinking “There’s no way she’ll go out with me,” you’ve already rejected yourself and sealed your fate. Do you think your product is terrific or that anyone would be lucky to get to have lunch with you? If not, get to work! You have to feel great about you before anyone else will!

5.) You can’t please all of the people all of the time. You can never be all things to all people. The trick in this life is to be yourself (not an easy task, most of us are trying to be what we think other people want). When you are completely yourself, you’ll attract people who like you for you and you’ll be much, much happier. Once you really know who you are (or what your product is) you’ll understand who would be best suited for you. You can reduce rejection by dealing with people who are most likely to value what you have to offer. (Why waste your time trying to sell ice to Eskimos? Pick a better market!) I’ll use myself as an example. I’m a high-energy, out-of-the-box, extrovert. I’m blunt (my friends say brutally honest) and I’m easily excited. This is WAY too much for some people. But if I try to be more demure, more calm and passive, I’ll lose what makes me unique and what draws the right clients and friends to me.

If you can master being truly who you are, rejection is always a favor. It saves you from more pain down the road and frees you up to pursue better prospects. Just don’t give up too soon and realize how incredible you are!

————————

Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers.  She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com
Her website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com

Research has found a connection between the power of the mind and what happens in our life and the results are speaking for themselves. The process to create what we want in our lives is called “manifesting” – the bringing of ideas and desires into physical form.¬† Manifesting becomes a self empowerment tool when it is applied to realizing our desires. This is done through the law of attraction.

Celebrities like Anthony Robbins, Harv Ecker, Oprah, Eckhart Tolle, Darren Jacklin and Tanja Diamond are using manifesting daily in their professional and personal lives to achieve outrageous results. This ability to manifest our dreams is not limited to the gifted; anyone can posses this ability, all it requires is an understanding of how to put it all together.

There are many different tools to use in manifesting. Some people use vision boards and cut out pictures of what they want, others use more exotic formats such as using sexual energy for the carrier of conscious energy.

Tantra is a spiritual philosophy, and one of the tools available in it’s studies, is the use of ritual and sexual energy to raise vibrational levels for manifesting your desires outside the bedroom.

To make a difference right now these steps can use in your life today.

Let’s start with some basics.

The law of attraction is a universal law which states that, “what is within, is without.”

It means that what is first created inside the mind will eventually become an outward reality. Our negative self talk and old programming can be powerful manifesting tools as well. If these are the things you are focused on you can well understand why you might be in the position you are today.

Ask yourself right now…

What do I believe about my life and circumstances?

What do I believe about myself?

Make a list of thoughts that run through your head about your life, relationship, money, your sex life, and other facets that are not where you would truly desire them to be.

Making an assessment is a really imperative start.

Once you can honestly look at what you are creating now in your life, you can start to use these next principles to change it all around.

To start manifesting follow this process:

Ask, Believe, Release and Receive.

Asking…In order to manifest your desires you must ask for what you want. Some people get stuck here and it is good to know that there are ways to get through the fog. Asking is not enough. You must be so crystal clear in your vision you can actually see, hear, feel, taste, touch and utilize all your senses when visualizing your desire.

Believing… It cannot be if you do not believe that it can be. The universe works in accordance with your thoughts, so if you really do not believe that you can do something then you cannot. Our internal dialogue can keep you from believing you are worthy, or that you can have what you desire. You are the only thing holding you back.

Releasing…This is a process of trusting the laws of attraction and your clarity and intent. Once you have achieved clarity and precise asking and believing of what you are manifesting you need to let go. Do not go looking for it, do not try to speed it up, do not spend time wondering where it is going to come from. The universe is more than capable of doing what you ask without your interference.

Receiving… You must be ready, willing and able to receive your manifestations, in your mind and in your spirit you must know that you deserve and that you are capable of bring your desires from the unseen to the seen. This can be tough for some people. Practice living what you desire. Own the car, or boat, have the boyfriend or girlfriend.¬† The process works, only doubt or lack of worth can hold you back.

Some tips from the pros.

Rule #1: Align the Desire With Making Progress In Your Spiritual Evolution.

Rule #2: Align the Desire For the Greater Good of All.

Rule #3: First Deserve, Then Desire.

To summarize, desires that are strong, spiritually oriented, and beneficial to others and which you have worked hard to realize are the one’s that the Universe is most likely to help with.

Living in gratitude each day of what you have right now and thanking your divinity is an excellent way to stay positive and in the moment while on your journey of manifesting your desires.

Remember that your breath in the world is impactful and that remaining aware and conscious of everything around you will allow you to see the opportunities that are constantly there. There are different types of formulas to follow out there in the world of manifesting. Some people enjoy ritual and trappings, some people enjoy the process of writing vision boards, journals or painting.

But no matter what format you use to start your process, we encourage you to do it today, right now.

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Tanja Diamond, The Tantra Teacher.
Sign up for a free ebook called Secrets from the Tantra Teacher.

http://www.learningtantra.com

Understanding the Concept of Time

It might be a cliché but time is indeed gold. Once it is lost, you can never regain it. Therefore, as much as possible, you want to make the most of your time by aiming towards increased productivity.

How many times have you experienced having to scramble with your tasks just to complete them in time? When you evaluate your activities, you’d realize that you spend one afternoon watching TV or playing video games. Then, the next day you are bombarded with tasks that you must finish. However, the limited time you have left just seems not enough.

Until that happens, you never really realize the full value of time. Hence, it is important that you look for ways to maximize your time to make room for all your work and recreational activities.

Organization For Better Time Management

One way to maximize your time is by learning how to organize your activities according to how much time you need to work on them. Listed below are some methods that you can apply into your schedule:

1.Make a To-do list: This is the basis of all time management systems. Whether it be an electronic device or the traditional post-it notes, this is where you refer on what activities you need to get done on a certain period of time.

2.Prioritizing your list: Aside from making a list, you also need to list them according to the most important or urgent tasks. Hence, you finish those that needs to get done first on time before moving on to the next task.

3.Have goals, specific ones: Whatever your goal is, it helps provide direction to whatever it is you need to do for a certain period of time. Hence, specify your goals according to activities you need to do for the day, week, or within the month.

4.Use organizational tools: By being disorganized, you could lose precious time attending to unimportant tasks instead of utilizing them for more important activities. Hence, keep your things organized and orderly for easy access when needed.

5.Do not procrastinate: Whatever you can do for today, do it now. Never put off something because you’ll never know when you’d have the time to work on them.

Evaluate Daily Activities

To setup an effective time management system, you need to look into every detail of your daily activities. Hence, you can identify which activities are important and which ones are not, as well as how much time is consumed.

Create a daily schedule that you need to follow strictly. Then, you can check that at each start of the day. When you have a schedule, you can divide up your activities evenly to avoid being overwhelmed with activities at a certain time of day.

Aside from organizing your activities within the day, you can use your daily schedule of activities for evaluation on your level of productivity. As you examine the activities, take note of each one and the time spent. Do these activities contribute to the accomplishment of your goals? Are you focusing your efforts and time on necessary things? If not, then you are not maximizing your time well.

These are just basic time management procedures you can follow so you can achieve more in less time.

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Larry Rivera is a Internet Network Marketer who teaches people how to use the internet to start a home based business. Success University is the #1 Personal Development website on the internet. It gives you a place to earn while you learn. Having problems with relationship building, Learn the skills they never taught you in school.

http://www.profitonknowledge.com

Most people accept anger as a part of life. We all feel justified when we get angry and we can point to all the people and reasons for it. Certainly no one in their right mind could disagree. We all shake our heads as we hear of yet another “idiot driver who almost killed me”, the boss “who set me up to take the fall”, the spouse “who knows just the right buttons to push to send me over the edge”. We also know there are times when it is right to get angry at injustice and abuse but we must use that emotion to change the situations not just to vent. But in this article I’m referring to something very different.

I want to talk about that anger that sits like a lava pool just below the surface building and building until the most obscure incident makes it explode. I’ve been there and I know how damaging it can be. But most people feel like they have every right to be angry‚Äîtheir laptop just crashed, the copier will not print, their child just spilled milk after they told them to be careful, they “think” their spouse or co-worker just gave them a look…

So the eruption occurs. It’s like the old marriage counselors comment “It’s never about the burnt toast!”

But the anger is there and when it comes out it is usually damaging, so what do you do?

We immediately want to justify it, who wouldn’t get angry at this or that? But justifying it doesn’t help you resolve it, so unless you live in a perfect universe with no one else around, it needs to be resolved.

Now obviously this is a very deep subject with millions of variables, but I am going to give you some simple tools here to help you get started.

The first step is being aware. By this I mean instead of just letting the anger flow when it is tapped, stop and be aware of how you are feeling. Being introspective like this will put the focus back on you and off of others—that in and of itself can solve a lot of problems.

Step two is to ask yourself why this event made you angry. Did it hurt you‚Äîif so, how and why? What does it say about you? Did it threaten you; make you feel unsure, insecure, dumb or embarrassed? If you are a man, did it challenge your manhood or integrity? We have to accept that it’s not natural to just have immediate rage, as so many do, over everyday events, so we need to discover why the pot is simmering.

Now I’m a guy and at first this “stop and think about what you are thinking about” and “how did that make you feel” went against everything my football, weight-lifting, martial arts mindset could imagine. But I finally got sick of allowing anger to rule my life, ruin relationships and limit my success. So if you really want to be manly about it‚Äîstep up!

The final step, once you have identified some of the root causes, is NOT to lie down on a couch and talk about it for the next five years. Just let it go. Shine the light on it, expose it and let it go. Put it off and put on whatever it is you need to heal and replace that area of your life. Obviously this is not a one time process, it’s a habit that you learn and develop, but these three simple steps can literally save your life‚Äîso try them.

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Duke Clarke is a writer/coach/speaker who for the past 35 years has been teaching individual how to excel and be successful according to God’s principles and a biblical point of view. To find out more information go to http://www.GodWantsYoutoProsperFamily.com or http://www.DukeClarke.com

Past life regression therapy attempts to put this search for a perfect therapy to a logical end. It attempts to strike at the root of an issue, at the level of the soul. That is why this therapy is also known as the ‘soul therapy’. It works on the premise that we are eternal beings. We have lived before and we will live again. As eternal beings, we carry all our thoughts, impressions, emotions, and feelings from time immemorial into our present being. Hence, most of our so-called ills have their roots in some of these thoughts, impressions, feelings, and emotions. To understand our problems, we need to first understand their root cause.

We have all heard of the law of cause and effect. It can be beautifully summed up in the phrase ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’. The cause is always in the past, the effect is in the present. Science says that every action produces an equal and opposite reaction. This scientific law is in complete sync with the law of cause and effect. When we see an undesired effect in our present life, we somehow want to get rid of it. But the laws of the universe are infallible. Try as hard as we can, we cannot seem to get rid of these ‘effects’. The solution lies in ‘understanding’ the ‘cause’, then and only then can we break free from this cycle.

This is where past life regression therapy comes to our rescue. Under a scientifically proven and safe procedure the therapist takes you on an un-chartered journey of self-discovery. You re-live memories of past lives where the root cause of your present day problem lies. Your soul draws the parallels between your past life experience and your current life patterns. Things become clear in your mind and new understanding dawns. You realize that you yourself are responsible for all your so-called problems. Armed with this new understanding, you also realize that the solution to your problem lies within yourself as well. In fact it becomes crystal clear to you. You start looking at life, situations, circumstances, and people with new eyes. You undergo a metamorphosis. The purpose of your life becomes clear to you and you embark upon the rest of your present life journey with confidence and élan.

Can any other therapy on earth make such tall claims? Past life regression therapy is the therapy of the 21st century. It not only helps cure diseases, resolve relationship issues, and brings in clarity; but also helps us grow spiritually. We get answers to eternal questions like, ‘Who am I?’, ‘Am I just a physical body, or is there something more to me?’, ‘What is the purpose of my life?’, ‘What is death?’, ‘How can I fulfill my destiny?’ etc. In fact this therapy is a short route to enlightenment. Since this therapy makes you ‘experience’ your TRUTH, you can not be easily dissuaded from that.

Fortunately leading scientists of the world are taking this branch of science seriously and giving it all the time, energy, and deliberation that it deserves. Dr. Brian Weiss, MD of the USA, and Dr. Newton, MD of India are the pioneers in this field. Besides them thousands of therapists are working in this path-breaking field. At this present time on earth, this therapy is the need of the hour.

Benefits of past life regression

•    Past life regression helps to heal chronic diseases. It helps the individuals to understand the karmic patterns involved in illness, and the resultant energy blockages. The understanding that flows during a session clears the energy blockages; thereby healing the dis-ease. Take for example a person who had a past life in which s/he was not allowed to express his/her views or had to pay a heavy price for expressing them; such a person may have a disease of the throat. After re-living the concerned past life and releasing the trauma, the healing occurs.
•    Past life regression helps overcome fears and phobias, by bringing about an understanding of the specific root cause. For example, a person had claustrophobia (fear of closed spaces). He re-lived a past life in which he was buried alive in an earthquake. Once he released that trauma, he was able to overcome his fear.
•    Past life regression improves one’s inter-personal relationships by making the person understand the impact of past life relationships with those individuals. The person is able to see the larger perspective and therefore the relationships are ‘healed’.
•    Past life regression frees us from fear of death once and for all. Through exploring our past lives we realize that we are eternal beings. We have been here before and we will come back again. This understanding completely eliminates the fear of death.

Common misconceptions about past life regression therapy

•    Only the present life is relevant, past lives have no effect on the present life.

In reality, we are the products of ‘all our experiences’ carried within us from all our past lives in addition to the experiences of the present life. The past life therapy helps get rid of the negative patterns of the past which continue to affect our present life.

•    Past is past and better left alone.

Scientific research indicates that all our memories, including those of the past lives, are stored in the mind field. We carry these memories and their effects in our energy field in the present moment, and unconsciously act out of these stored beliefs and experiences. Releasing the past is an important step, and can only be undertaken once we understand it.

• The past life memories during regression are experienced due to the suggestion of the therapist.

Past life regression therapists do not give suggestions during regression. They only direct the client to seek the root cause of an issue. The client’s sub-conscious reveals the memories.

•    Past life regression therapy can be done by anyone.

It is important to be treated by someone who is trained and experienced in the field. Only an experienced practitioner whose belief system is compatible with the spiritual science of past lives should conduct regression work.

•    If we really had past lives, we would remember them.

In reality there are occasions when we do remember our past lives. This happens when:

•    We meet a person for the first time but feel that we know this person well.
•    We visit a place for the first time but feel that we have been here before.
•    We sit in deep mediation and have a past life recall.
•    Child prodigies exhibit talents and abilities that can not be explained by the circumstances or experiences of their current lives.

Finally, keep an open mind towards this therapy and try it out. You have nothing to lose; it is all about gain without pain!!!!!

Chitra Jha is a trainer of a refreshing genre. She conducts tailor-made workshop on Enlightened Living, Enlightened Healing, Enlightened Parenting, Enlightened Eating, Enlightened Death, Past Life Regression and Spiritual Science. She does one-on-one sessions and small group therapy sessions as well. Contact chitrajhaa@gmail.com.

All of us have been posed this question some time or the other. And we usually shrug off the question with flippant dismissal. Very few of us are ecstatic or gush about how swell life is. Many of us reply with weary sighs while some of us grimace with ill-concealed pain. What we are talking about here of course is not life in the sense of being alive and breathing, but the quality of life we live.

I often wonder about the quality of life we seek, and can’t help comparing it to food to see whether we have the recipe to make life tick.

Childhood to maturity

For most of us, childhood is when life is most enjoyable. Bereft of responsibility, we are taken care of, sheltered, fed, clothed, educated and kept in good health. All we have to do is savour every wonderful moment to the fullest. Whenever we take ill, all we have to do is lie back and recover. Nothing clutters the brain beyond the events of the day. It is often said that a child is happiest because he or she lives in the present with both mind and body as one unit.

When we are young adults, life begins to bloom as the mind and body are nourished with knowledge and metabolism, peaking to produce perhaps the finest co-ordination between the mental and physical states. Life is one great colourful flourish on the canvass of time. But what happens thereafter?

Youth moves on to maturity and we begin to gain “focus” on our lives and what direction we wish our lives to take. Ambitions and achievements take over from the spirit of adventure. Dedication and devotion to purpose replace daredevilry. Deliberate thought process prevails over impulsive intuition. Career quests overshadow the carefree spirit.

Coping with stress, chaos, work-life imbalances, pressures of the daily grind, people relationships, demanding targets, conflicting goals, aspirations and professional paradigms of an ever-changing world are daunting tasks that sap us mentally and physically! Burnout, suicide and divorce are some of the outcomes of such a life.

Life on a platter

There is no solution unless life resembles a balanced meal. And how is that so? Well, sometimes we assume life to be only that part which takes up most of our time. For the career chasers it is their vertical growth rate in the organisation or in their own business and for the homemaker, it is housework. All this reflects quantity and not quality. But not so with food!

Almost anybody I know has dined out at a restaurant. When choosing where to eat, we invariably look for not just good cuisine, but also the location of the restaurant, the parking service, the air-conditioning, the music, the décor, the ambience, the nature of its current clientele and so on. While all we really do is eat there. But the packaging and the surrounding benefits are so necessary and all so important to us. Then why do we judge life by just the food, or sometimes by just the main course?

Why not package life in a way that even the most miserable meal or career glows in the ambience of hobbies or career offshoots? Whenever I’ve sat down to order a meal, I invariably look for the accompaniments, and often enough it is these that decide the success of the meal. I cannot get into my steak, no matter how delicious it looks, without my baked potatoes, spinach and boiled veggies and that pat of golden butter oozing goodness. I know of a fellow who went berserk when he did not receive his pickles with the food. It simply shows that not always is the quality of food or for that matter, life, defined by just the main serving, but often enough, it is the tiny add-ons that really decide the lip smacking goodness of life.

Packaging the zing!

What are these add-ons that put the zing into life? This is for each one of us to find out individually. It can often be an absorbing hobby or sport or music or any parallel line of activity that brings in tangible fulfilment. Sometimes physical evidence of effort ploughed in, does not reflect as much as we desire, in our basic square meal in life. So we choose to bring in activities of our own, which meet this need.

I often offset my reverses or lack of results at work by creating my own successes, unto myself, if not to anybody else, through penning my thoughts and experiences into tangible form, either in prose or poetry. Energizing yourself becomes necessary to sustain the quality of living in the main life zones, usually career and family life. Somehow, if we were as fussy about the add-ons to our lives as we are in choosing the toppings for our pizza, life could become one big delight.

Not all of us are fortunate enough to choose a line of work or career that dovetails comfortably with our skills or education or interest. But aren’t we often told at the restaurant that the very item we wish to savour is not on the menu of the day? Do we leave the restaurant and seek another one where we find what we want, even if it takes all night? The chances are, we don’t and instead settle for the next best or whatever else is available.

We can make the best of the situation by either being open to the new experience of what gets served in our plate, or disguising what we have with a whole lot of sauces and condiments, hoping to reconstruct something totally new. Isn’t life often frighteningly like that?

If we could only pause to listen to the winds of fresh thought whispering through our minds, we would certainly have cause for celebrating the true quality of life!

Don’t make the mistake of assuming your employees are good communicators.¬† Just because you trained them on what to say doesn’t mean they know how to say it.¬† There’s a mighty fine line between efficient and rude.¬† Caring is what people want.

What kind of things do your people need to know about communication?  They need to really understand body language, especially making eye contact (with the other person, not their Blackberry).  Apparently people think they can just sneak a peek at their electronic device and no one will notice.  Are they insane?  Everyone notices—we have these crazy things called eyeballs that are drawn to furtive movements (and blatant rudeness).

They need to know how crucial facial expression is and how quickly other people can interpret theirs.  Do you want to lose customers because one of your new employees rolls her eyes and sighs whenever she has to operate the cash register?

Something many companies need to examine (or maybe need to develop) are their e-mail policies. What is considered an appropriate response time?¬† You might find that administrative people think it’s an hour while outside sales people think it’s a day.¬† How should the subject line (the most important part of an e-mail) be used?¬† And enough with the reply to all already!

Do your employees need presentation skills?¬† Don’t assume they have them.¬† Texting your friends all day does little to develop that skill set.¬† Your employees represent your company, if their communication and interpersonal skills are weak, how can they possibly do a good job?

And here’s an important question to ask yourself‚Äîdo you reward good communication skills?¬†¬† Let’s face it, if I don’t talk on my cell phone at work and I am treated the same as a co-worker who does nothing but talk on her cell phone all day, why shouldn’t I start calling my friends?¬† If, unlike my co-workers, I pay attention and don’t spend all my time texting during the meeting, but no one cares, why bother?¬†¬† Here’s the bottom line‚Äîdon’t assume anything.¬† Decide what communication skills your people need, get them the corresponding training, reward good performance and coach poor performance.¬† And make sure you maintain eye contact when you do it.

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Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers.  She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com
Her website, loaded with more great articles, is http://www.firestarspeaking.com

Do it well, and you’ll shine. Do it badly and you could muddy your reputation and find yourself being passed over for advancement.

To help you make the right impression, here are four simple rules to remember, which will move you in the right direction.

1. Find out what the expectations are – and exceed them. Sounds obvious and simple – yet in my experience it’s neither! Try to answer the following questions:

Do you actually know what your manager’s top priorities are?

How clear are you about the order of priority your manager has for each area of your performance? How clear do you think your manager is about his/her expectations of you?

Sometimes expectations are written – but more often than not, they are unwritten expectations, which your boss may never have really clearly articulated to themselves, let alone you!

Put it this way -¬† if you don’t know for sure what will score you top points with this individual, you may find yourself chasing down the wrong rabbit hole.

And this is NOT about currying favour, or ingratiating yourself. This is about having a clear understanding on both sides about what is important, so you both know and agree where you should focus most of your time and attention. It actually makes your job easier.

So – if you don’t know the answers to the questions above – make a date in your diary to discuss this with your boss! (And before you actually have that meeting, make sure you read technique 4!)

2. Anticipate and address a boss’ concerns The trick here is a technique from what we call Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and is about being able to see the different “perceptual positions” around an issue. Put simply this means seeing something through someone else’s eyes, so you understand their thoughts, feelings, worries and perspectives.

An obvious way is to ask them! And we’d definitely encourage you to fnd the right opportunities to do just that. However, sometimes there’s neither time, nor is it appropriate. So what do you do then? You put yourself in their shoes. And when we say in their shoes – we mean wearing their shoes and looking through their eyes! This is not how you would feel in their shoes. You’re not them!

So, this is easier said than done. But here’s a few killer questions to ask yourself:

What will my  boss be anxious about?

What do his bosses expect of him?

How does what I do to help him/her look good?

If I/we do “x”, what might he/she be concerned about?

By answering these questions you’ll be much clearer about what you need to do to both pre-empt and address their concerns. It also significantly increases their perception you really understand where they are coming from, which in turn significantly¬† strengthens the trust and relationship between you.

3. Consistently look for ways to add value. This is a really simple rule. Bosses are more likely to listen if you speak in “can-do” language, and you are organised, and sound enthusiastic and eager to deliver results.

Look ahead when discussing a project, rather than dwelling on what’s already occurred. Follow through on promises. And adopt a “no-excuses” policy. Failing to produce results almost guarantees a boss will doubt your abilities. So, if you haven’t quite achieved what you set out to do – rather than saying what you’ve not been able to do, start with what you have achieved; be specific about what barriers there were, and summarise your plans to get back on track.

Your boss has pressures of his own. Don’t add to them.

4. Know your style – and know their style; and adapt your behaviour to suit their preferences. A great analogy from relationship expert Shay McConnon is that of the “hot chilli trap”. What is this? It’s when someone assumes that, because they love hot chilli, everyone else does too! Patently, some people do not like hot chilli!

If you’re in a foreign country you at least attempt to learn “please” and “thank you” in their language and show respect for their customs. It’s just courtesy. You adapt your own behaviour to show respect for the differences of perception.

To assume, because we speak the same language, we see things in the same way¬† – is quite clearly erroneous, yet we still persist in believing the mantra “treat others as you’d like to be treated.”

Absolutely not! Treat others as they would like to be treated.

So what does this mean for you in your relationship with your boss? It means the more you get to understand their style and preferences, and tweak your style to match, the more likely they are to warm towards you. If you lean towards an eye for detail and precision, but your boss just wants the big picture – give it that way. What is their biggest strength? Capitalise on it. What is their central goal? How can you assist? If they are extroverts who like to talk through ideas, provide that opportunity. If they are introverts who like to be able to read through something, and ponder it first, present your proposals in a way which will help them assimilate the information and ask questions.

Respect how they like to be treated.

And what if they don’t show the same trespect for you? Well, that’s a subject for another article!

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Shona Garner is an experienced Executive and Business Coach, specialising in helping managers build top performing teams, and increase their own standing in the organisation.
For a straight talking, practical guide to the top four secrets of every outstanding manager, visit http://www.increasingmanagerialsuccess.com/freereport.php

How many of us are really prepared to go that extra mile to achieve this so-called goal, which ideally everyone is expected to be pursuing? As I see it, the goal is more in the desire form than in practice. Every goal has ladders and every ladder has steps. Every step necessitates a struggle or overcoming a shortcoming. One has to gauge correctly what is it that will make us go forward towards our goal. A sincere and impersonal guide and mentor are needed and they are extremely difficult to find or even recognize. Once the elements requiring correction en route are understood, a great effort is needed to retrain ourselves with new thought patterns and habits. Subconscious patterns, inculcated since the day we are born are deeply embedded in us and we have to literally fight against their hold on our everyday lives.

My personal perception is that most prefer to find a minimum sustenance program in life and stay within their comfort zones doing little to even accept the fact that it’s their own shortcomings that are keeping them back. Even when life gives us a knock or two and is kind enough to show us the way and the error of our ways, we find enough logic to rationalize and let the lesson slip into the comfortable slot of unpleasant occurring.

Take a struggling lawyer. He has passed out recently and raring to go. What can he do to advance surely and speedily? Perhaps become a junior with an already established lawyer and under his umbrella make a mark for himself? To arrive even at this juncture would need a certain modicum of language ability and study of legal texts and some luck. If he has it and he is taken in, the beginning is made. Would he be content with this? His job would be to take orders and work his heart out, quite often giving him tired muscles and a bruised ego. A junior is but a junior. Will he bear with it because of the learning process he is going through and grow or will his vanity refuse to take this position so low in the pecking order and quit and move into a situation closer to his comfort zone? And what could this be? An independent status, struggling to exist but at least his own boss!

Scurrying back into one’s comfort zone is a natural and primary tendency.  This is at all levels; mental, emotional and physical. Laziness influenced by arguments from our ego wins over effort most often. Change means learning and changing habits and this requires a concerted and very conscious effort. Is this sustainable in real life? Why disturb the status quo?

Take for instance the status of most marriages. Is it a made-for-each-other existence or a compromise where we learn to coexist for the comforts of a home? There are wives being battered but they continue to stay put. There are husbands being nagged to death but they continue to stay put. There are millions of people stuck in jobs and situations they hate but doing very little to take the next step that will take them to better their existence. How does one explain this? Simple: It is so much simpler to live and continue within one’s existing known comfort zones.

Let’s look around us. How many people are bothered to improve their communication ability yet never failing to complain that nobody understan

There’s an old German saying that goes, “You have to take life as it happens, but you should try to make it happen the way you want to take it.” Are you planning to just let life “happen” to you or do you plan to play an active part in designing the life you want?

Some of you may say, yes, I would like to do that, but trouble is, I don’t know how to get started. So you just go with the crowd, or take the path that’s most hassle-free. Unfortunately, more often than not, the crowd may not know where it is going, and if so, then everyone ends up like everyone else, wondering what has happened to their life many years down the road!

A lot of people tend to take life for granted. They think that by the time they are in their 40s or 50s everything will fall into place by itself.

Are you willing to take that chance? Remember, you only have one life, and you can’t turn back the clock. Life is not a full dress rehearsal; it’s only going to happen once. You can’t say, “Cut, let’s start it all over again.”

The truth is, for most people, after 20 or 30 years of working, they only discover what they do not want, without a clue as to what they really want in life.

We all know we want something. Words like financial freedom, wealth, lifestyle, are catch words everyone is using. But do they know what it actually means? Do they know what it takes to achieve that? Do they know how or where to get it?

So my advice is: take the time right now to work out a design for your life. If life was a movie, and you are the producer and actor, what role would you want to play and how would the plot unfold? Designing your life is like making a movie. You have to be able to see the end at the beginning. It may start off a little hazy, but as you continue working on it, it would become clearer and clearer. You’ve got to write the script, put in the characters. Use your imagination, let your creative juices flow.

Does it mean that what you have designed is going to be set in concrete? Certainly not. You are the producer of your life. You can change, delete, or add in anything you want in your project. But at least by doing this exercise of designing your life, you are in control of your circumstances, rather than become a victim of them.

Here are some simple steps to help you get started!

1.    Find a nice quiet spot where you will be undisturbed for at least 20 minutes.
2.    Equip yourself with a pencil and a new note pad that will become your “Life Book”.
3.    Draw a time line across a page, from now to say five years on.
4.    At the left end of the time line, write “Present State”; at the right end, write “Desired State”.
5.    On the left end, describe as accurately as you can your Present State. Ask questions like:
a. What am I doing now?
b. What is my income, if any?
c. Do I like what I do?
6.    On the right side, under Desired State, describe as clearly as you can what you would like to see five years from now. Ask yourself, if I can’t fail…
a. What do I really want to be?
b. What do I want to have?
c. What will my life be like?
7. Between the Present State and Desired State mark on the time line
a. What must I do to get what I want?
b. Who can help me?
c. What skills do I need?
d. What resources do I need?

The first time you may not get all the answers you want. If you do this exercise daily for some time, I can guarantee you that you will end up with a pretty good design for your life. You will know where to get what you want, what to do, who can help you and so on.

You don’t stop working on your project to design your life. I recommend you keep going back to the “Life Book” you have created; it’s a “project in progress”.

Take charge of your life now. If not now, when?

Patrick Lim is a Certified Professional Trainer, and Certified Professional Coach (IPMA UK) and COO of Institute of Business Coaches, specializing in coaching for business and life coaches.

You can be stressed to the max on a bad day, yet, as long as life seems manageable, you don’t usually look for new strategies to get through it.¬†¬† The tendency is to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, grit your teeth and keep on going.¬† During prolonged or sudden tough times, though, normal defense mechanisms are not enough to keep you from feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed.

It’s when events are overwhelmingly beyond your control, that you either find new ways to cope or are pulled down by the undertow.¬† Your usual defenses are inadequate to protect from overwhelming long-term stress.¬† Stress can build gradually beyond tolerance level, or a surprising turn of events like those recently reported in the news can create the kind of vulnerability that demands openness to change.

The soft inner core of your being feels exposed.  This exposure opens a crack in the old armor through which an opportunity for renewed life can shine.

Here are six tips that can help you thrive in tough times?  .

Nourish Yourself – Let go of the bootstraps for a few moments, acknowledge your stress and be kind to yourself.¬† What nourishes you – inspirational reading, music, a cup of tea …?¬† Are there people or places, a favorite chair or spot in nature that provide sustenance?¬† Make nurturing yourself every day a priority.

Stay Present – Don’t project ahead. Take life one day, one moment at a time.¬† Tough times are more manageable when you pay attention to making decisions and taking action on only the next step.¬† Fearful preoccupation or worries about dire imagined future possibilities can leave you open to illness, accidents and errors in judgment that compound your problems.¬† Scale down, simplify your activities and concentrate your precious energy supply on only what is critically important right now.

Accept Support – This can be difficult for people who prize self-sufficiency.¬† Remember it is as virtuous to receive, as it is to give.¬† Without the receiver, the giver has no way to share their abundant gifts.¬† Don’t deprive your friends and family of the pleasure to help you when you need it.¬† Shared burdens provide opportunities for enhanced closeness and appreciation for one another.

Trust Your Resilience РChances are you have been through tough times before.  What natural strengths did you rely upon in those situations?  How did you make it through adolescence, Childbirth, Marriage, Divorce, School, First job?  What are your natural inner resources?  Trust that you have what you need to see this tough time through.    Visualize Success РSee yourself moving into a new chapter of life.  How do you want to write that chapter?  Creation begins in the imagination.  If you can think it, you can create it.  In order to be free to dream and hope for something new, you must let go of old visions, descriptions and limitations of the person you think you are or can become.

Forgive Past Errors РForgive past hurts, and people who may have inflicted them, knowingly or unknowingly.  This is not out of kindness to them, rather out of kindness to you.  After all, you are the one carrying the burden of these hurts.   Forgive yourself for mistakes or paths not taken.  Release the burden of the past so you can travel lighter in the present.

In times of crisis and radical change, remember that living means growing.  I have never seen anything in nature grow backward.  So, as bad as you feel, and as much as you doubt it, if you are alive you are growing.

Growth is creative.  So, take advantage of the opportunity in these tough times to re-create your life by nourishing yourself, staying present, accepting support, trusting your resilience, visioning possibilities and letting go of the past and perceived limitations.

Even though tough times are hard, they can also be the best times to explore ways to live more harmoniously with yourself and others.

Aila Accad

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Aila Accad, RN, MSN ‘The De-Stress Expert’ is a Speaker, Author and Transformation Coach. Learn more and contact her for speaking, and transformational coaching at: http://www.ailaspeaks.com . Sign up to receive her complimentary De-Stress Tips Newsletter and get “Ten Instant Stress Busters” e-book as a gift.

1. ASSUME THAT EVERYTHING IS FOR YOUR HIGHEST GOOD

At this point in my life, I automatically assume that the world is kind. I assume that someone far smarter than I has choreographed my challenges, worries, triumphs, joys, sorrows, and all the rest. To me, life is far too magically complex to simply be random movement of atoms and energy. Through all the good and all the bad in my life, I’ve learned the most amazing things – things I wouldn’t trade for the world. Now, even in the midst of challenging situations, I know that life’s got my back.

2. EXPECT SUPPORT FROM THE UNIVERSE

“Ask and It Is Given” is an amazing book, and an even more amazing statement in itself. So often we’ve forgotten to expect support. Usually we’re wanting support, but rarely, rarely are we expecting it. When we expect something to be done, it’s as if it already is. Someone who expects good things in life often gets it. And have you notice that those who expect the worst usually get that too? Donald Trump expects to be rich. He doesn’t hope for it, he demands it of the Universe. No matter if he loses billions of dollars, he gains it right back. Life is solely an outer manifestation of our internal expectations.

3. BE OPEN TO THE SIGNS

When the world hands you a coincidence, stop and say “thank you!” I see coincidences as winks from the Universe, helping confirm that we’re on the right track. When opportunities line up perfectly, when situations mystically converge, when opportunities fall in your lap, or when you simply find a penny on the ground, embrace them without hesitation.

4. DON’T WANT FOR ANYTHING

Most people, no matter how many manifesting books they read, are still longing for things. The “want” for money, abundance, love, health or happiness is merely that… a want. And voil√°, that’s what we get: the opportunity to long for something and not get it. When we think about what we want, or talk about what we want, the world hears “Please let me want for X-Y-Z”. The most challenging aspect of manifesting is to be in the state of already having what you want. Evoking the emotions you would feel once your desired goal is attained is the real key to generating your desires.

5. BE GRATEFUL

The state of gratitude is like having your arms wide open to receive all of life’s bounty. When we’re not in the state of gratitude, it’s like walking through life with your fists clenched and your body contracted. Check in to your emotional and physical positions throughout the day. Are you feeling open to everything around you, or are you guarded, grumpy, cynical or sad? If you are frustrated by your current situation or surroundings, make a choice to see only the good, even if just for 2 minutes each morning. Jotting down things in your life that you’re grateful for, no matter how small, helps you to open to life’s abundance. As we all know, what we think about most, we bring about!

6. CLEAN UP YOUR INTERNAL ACT

Why don’t we all have what we want in life? It’s usually because we have beliefs in the way that are generating more of what we’re not wanting, and less of what we are. No matter how much manifesting work we do, if those beliefs are still in place, they will subconsciously be running your life’s ship without you ever being the wiser. Cleaning up these mystery beliefs can be challenging for most.

As you travel further down the path of cleaning up your home, body and thinking, the work of Byron Katie can be the most amazing gift (www.thework.com). This process is the way I continue working on my own limiting beliefs. The less that stands in our way of believing we deserve a wonderful life, the more we can allow in.

7. FOLLOW YOUR HEART

When you choose to spend time with things that bring you great passion and interest, your emotional body resonates on a very different level. Those who follow their bliss, choose careers that bring joy, spend time with people who delight them, watch movies that lift their spirits, and read books that inspired excitement often draw in more abundant situations. If you make choices out of fear or to “play it safe”, life will give those types of situations or frustrations right back to you. And if you instead take risks to open your heart, mind and spirit, you will, worst-case, get a life of fulfillment, surprise and joy. Look inside to all your underlying motivations and shine a light on them so that you might make a different decision tomorrow. Awareness is the key.

8. TAKE ACTION

When we realize what we desire, and begin to align ourselves with these goals, the next step is action. And often times this is the step that trips us all up. When I had manifested my T.V. show “Fun Shui” and had met my producer, I got scared. REALLY scared. And I began sabotaging the opportunity out of fear. But luckily I came to my senses in the nick of time, stood up bravely, and took action. I moved into some of my deepest life fears, I pushed through limiting beliefs, and I did things I’d never done before…

We can’t stop with just meditation, gratitude, and cleaning up our thinking. We also must take action, and step up to the plate when life hands us miraculous situations or circumstances. Don’t let a great thing pass YOU by!

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Stephanie McWilliams is the host of HGTV’s hit show, “Fun Shui”. She is a gifted feng shui designer, coach, holistic health counselor and intuitive – combining all her talents into a powerful Mind/Body/Space approach to healing and personal transformation.¬† Visit her website http://www.EvolvingArts.com to get lots of free goodies, as well as her inspirational weekly newsletter, “My Cup of Chi”.

And an awful lot of people will do that, and be the poorer for it. They will stop trying to swim upstream, and instead let the current carry them where it may, and they will feel out of control and blame it on things outside themselves. They are victims of events. And victims want every one else to be a victim too – it proves they’re right about their own behavior. They will have chosen to be a victim – even though most would deny it.

Others choose to be victors. Faced with the same events and circumstances and consequences and outcomes as victims, they will continue to swim upstream – possibly more slowly and with more effort, but still working their way toward their goals. They know it may take longer, it may be tougher, but they choose to stand and fight, rather than let themselves be overcome by events. They take action – sometimes actions that seem so small – but they know that only action leads to results. And in doing that they often find opportunities that they couldn’t have dreamed of, but exist because of the very circumstances that turn others into victims. As Steve Schiffmann says in his book Make It Happen Before Lunch, “dwell in possibility, there is always a door somewhere waiting to be opened.”

Victors are optimists, opportunists, takers of action.

I was talking to the editor of a recently launched real estate investment magazine and she admitted the market is tough right now, and many people are holding off, sitting on cash, and taking a wait and see attitude. But others are looking for alternative forms of financing, taking advantage of what they see as bargains in the market, and continuing to work their goals. Even in what is described by the media as one of the most downtrodden of markets – real estate – littered with the failures of so many – others are working and prospering. They’re victors – and they will be stronger and more successful for their efforts.

Remember the aftermath of Katrina? How some people pitched right in, started clearing brush and helping others, and doing what they could to start the process of rebuilding their lives and the lives of others. Under the most difficult of circumstances – these were people who had lost everything – they put their heads down and started with action – doing something, anything, to move forward. They’re victors. I have no scientific proof, but I suspect those that showed that behavior ended up getting back on track faster, and moved forward on their life’s path much more quickly than those victims who waited for help – and complained when it wasn’t forthcoming as fast as they expected.

The media did a disservice in the aftermath of Katrina by focusing on the bad things – the late response, the lack of organization – and made it easier for people to be victims. After all, Anderson Cooper on CNN, among others, showed how screwed up the rescue efforts were. And how could an individual, a victim of Mother Nature and FEMA, be expected to make a difference? Many didn’t feel they could make a difference, and I suspect those people may be still waiting for and expecting more help. Victims rarely win – they just serve as examples of how “they” – the system, the government, the neighbors – didn’t take care of them. And a major word in the vocabulary of victims is ” fair” – as if there was some obligation in life for things to be “fair” – whatever that means.

To be a victor requires courage, goals that keep victors pointed toward where they want to go, and an understanding that they may not be able to control all the things that happen to them, but they sure can choose how they deal with them. Victors keep control of their responses. They have their bad days – weeks – months – but they persist. And in doing so they win in the game of life.¬† Regardless where you are right now, choose to grab ahold of whatever it is that you really want, set your plan to get it, and act. You’ll be better for it – I guarantee it.

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Andy Cox helps his clients select and develop teams and talent. He focuses on helping leaders and emerging leaders define and develop their skills and talents using goals. He can be reached at http://www.coxconsultgroup.com , or at acox@coxconsultgroup.com

Sometimes when I try to explain my dream to my family and friends, I get blank stares. My enthusiasm does not find an eager audience. Most of the times, I try and avoid this situation by just keeping quiet about my dreams, but there are times when I can’t contain my excitement. I do understand that everyone operates from their belief system, just as I do. But how come the belief systems are different in the very same family in which we grow up? What exactly determines our belief systems? Is it the cumulative experience and influence of one lifetime or infinite life times?

Since I am a past life regression therapist, I know that our past lives do affect our present belief systems, but for most people this fact is difficult to digest. Most of us believe that our beliefs come primarily from our childhood conditioning. If we are told as children that telepathy does not exist, we will grow up believing it to be our truth. However, it is only a belief and not a fact. Most of what we believe is not based on facts in any case. Now suppose that as a grown-up you come across someone who can demonstrate to you that telepathy does exist. What will you do now? Will you accept this new truth?

Generally even when a fact is offered with proof, skeptic minds would try and block it. They try and skip to another reality zone, just to avoid changing their beliefs. It is a sort of automatic defense mechanism of the ego. Sometimes, when you are trying your best to explain something new to someone, they get a glazed look in their eyes. Their attention drifts off. They stop paying attention to you. This is their mind’s way of blocking out information that does not tally with its belief system. Only an open mind can absorb new information and evaluate it on its own terms.

So, now I have decided to share my dreams only with those people who believe in me. I am not here to change anyone’s belief systems, I am here to have faith in my belief system and evaluate it from time to time. I am here to discard beliefs that do not work for me any more and form experiential beliefs that always work. I do not believe that successful people are just lucky. I know that one becomes successful by believing in one’s dreams.

My motivation comes from setting big goals. Big goals to me mean goals that seem fantastic, out of reach, slightly scary, and not commiserating with the current appearances of reality. Say, for example, I had set a goal of becoming a life skills coach, when I was just a homemaker. It took me two years and various small steps of being a communication skills teacher, verbal ability instructor for management entrance exams, a columnist, a healer, and finally a life skills coach. Wow! It seems like a dream run. Throughout this period I stayed motivated by writing my goal in great detail, letting go of it in care of the universe, and taking small inspired actions when needed.

Such miracles happen in my life all the time. Invariably I am led to the right people, right opportunities and right know-how to achieve my goals. After one goal is achieved, I set another big goal. Right now my big goal is to be conducting my empowering workshops throughout the world. It does seem impossible to some, but to me it is my reality, whether I can see it in my present environment or not.

I stay motivated by my complete faith in the universe and its infallible laws. My motivation also comes from imagining a bigger, brighter, and more colourful life than I currently lead. I put my emotions into this picture and live it in my mind. Eventually I am led to take decisive action. This action is always inspired, and I do it to the best of my ability with gay abundance.

I have written my new life story keeping all areas of my life, viz, career, money, health, friends, family, personal development, recreation, and personal environment in right perspective. I run this story through my mind at least twice a day. Each run builds up a new momentum, and I feel excited about taking actions to reach my goals. I know people who live the kind of life that I live, and I also know people whose lives are full of boredom, discontent, and mediocrity. I feel grateful to the universe because my eyes and mind are open. I have discovered my potential. I have chosen my life of purpose and passion. I feel ecstatic. Life sure is beautiful!

Chitra Jha conducts empowering workshops throughout the world.

Have you wondered why Oprah Winfrey’s talk show is still the most popular talk show in TV? Or why is Madonna still a very sought after pop singer after more than two decades? Well, the answers lie not only on the talents possessed by these individuals but something beyond that. These personalities have ‘branded’ themselves well and they make efforts to consciously do or refrain from doing things that affect their brand image.

We all know that business is becoming more and more competitive. There are numerous others who seem to be offering the same stuff that you do. Whether you are a senior executive, the president of your own company, or a worker at a small organization, you need to stand out from myriad others so that you can be in control of your business or career.

Personal branding is a powerful way of communicating and clarifying the unique promise of value that you have to offer your boss or your clients.  Management guru Tom Peters in book The Brand You 50 states: “Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding: we are the CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc.”

In this article, I will take you through 6 P’s in helping you to make your own personal brand alive:

1.    Personal

Like any other good marketing plan, you must begin by understanding your true self. Remember you are an original – there is no one else quite like you.  What do you stand for? What are your beliefs? Jot down a few phrases that describe your unique value, vision, purpose and passion. Take some time to discover your strengths, weaknesses and hidden talents. Ask yourself what impacts you the most and what drives you.

2.    Perception
It is imperative that you must be aware of how you are communicating yourself to those around you. In this area, you will need to know your attributes and how others perceive you as an individual. Develop a focus group comprising of close friends, colleagues and family members to ask, collate responses and consolidate their perceptions about you. For example, are you seen as reliable, trustworthy or adventurous with a natural instinct for business?

3.    Position

You must know your target audience, business or job competitors.  How can you stand out unless you know whom you are standing among? When people see your name or face consistently over a period of time they assume that you have something special and that you must be successful. Having your own brand keeps you visible within your marketplace as it sends out a clear message about you that makes you worth contacting.

4.    Performance

Establish yourself as an expert in your field because expertise can bring you increased recognition and therefore you can position yourself well in the hearts and minds of your target audience. Get good testimonials from your satisfied customers and for employees, create outstanding portfolios of your past accomplishments. Create a personal mission statement and tagline. Do seek out new and challenging assignments that will build your brand. Write articles to showcase your knowledge and get them published, or better, give speeches or presentations to share your expertise and your past achievements.

5.    Promoting

You can have an amazing brand, but if no one knows about it, you are not going ahead. Nothing in marketing is more powerful than a promotion tool called word of mouth. What your network of friends, colleagues, clients and customers say about your brand is what the market will ultimately gauge as the value of the brand. If you do not have a personal website, now is the time to buy a domain (such as myname.com) and the let the world know. Take your personal image seriously because your appearance is the packaging of your own brand. Remember, YOU are the product and your packaging will either attract or detract from your product.

6.    Planning

Make an appointment with yourself at least twice a year to re-evaluate your personal brand statement. Also, obtain honest and helpful feedback from your focus group on your brand performance, value and growth.

As simply as I could put it, I shared with him my personal belief…

Essentially…

That One is All and All is One. That one Intelligent Substance manifests itself as what appears to be many elements of the material world.

Simply put…

We’re all made from the same Stuff, a Thinking Stuff.

After I finished my simplified explanation of this concept, he sat there quietly for a moment or two, staring out the car window, then he looked at me and said…

“Daddy, that makes sense!”

And…

With “ah-ha” written all over his face…

He added…

“So that’s why you’re always telling me to love my neighbor as myself and to treat other people the way I want to be treated, because we’re all one, right Daddy?”

At age five…

He got it!

Not long after our “God talk”, as he likes to refer to it, impressed by his insight and “feeling my oats”, I guess, I decided to tackle a very simplified version of the concept of gratitude to the Formless (the one Intelligent Substance from which all things are made), the importance of expressing gratitude to the Formless, and the various ways in which we might express our gratitude to the Formless, with him.

As I was enthusiastically waning on and on (I guess I got a little carried away ) about how to express gratitude to the Formless, he sat there with a puzzled look on his face (okay, actually it was his “you idiot” look ).

Finally…

Obviously unable to take it anymore…

He piped up and said…

“Daddy…”

“Since we’re all made from the same stuff, isn’t saying thank you to someone else the same thing as saying thank you to the stuff?”

Hmmmmmm…

Hmmm…

Hmmm…

Hmmm…

Out of the mouths of babes.

You know what?

He was absolutely right!

I frequently see folks going to great lengths in their effort to develop and incorporate an “attitude of gratitude” into their lives, lugging around special gratitude crystals, rocks, or stones, keeping special gratitude journals, and/or resorting to all sorts of other “props and crutches” as I like to refer to them, when *all* that’s *really* required is developing the simple habit of saying “thank you”.

I believe it was Meister Eckhart, the influential fourteenth century German theologian, philosopher, and mystic, who once wrote:

“If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”

No doubt about it!

And…

As I learned from my five-year-old…

We can continuously express that prayer of gratitude to the Supreme, for *all* we have and enjoy, by simply developing the habit of consistently saying “thank you” to one another.

Once again…

Thank you son!

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Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D. Wattles and the creator of an amazing website that’ll take you by the hand and guide you step-by-step down Wallace D. Wattles’ proven path to wealth, health, success, happiness, love, and more… http://www.tonymasesinnercircle.com

Maybe their suits or dresses were flashier.

Or they were slimmer.

Or their hair was less gray. (Or for you male readers, they had more hair than you!)

Or perhaps these people left their expensive, new Mercedes, BMWs and sports cars with the valet attendant while you “self parked” your tired, old automobile w-a-a-a-a-y in the back of the car park so that no one would notice it.

Does this mean they are any better or more successful than you are?

Of course not!

It all comes down to what I call – THE ATTITUDE OF YOUR MIND. The attitude of your mind affects many things including the expressions of your face, determines the actions you make, impacts your physical health and regulates your life.

At this point many of you, especially those who are “set” in your ways, may ask: “How can I change the attitude of my mind? How can I, after months and years of discouragement and of going through the motions, suddenly conceive and carry out a plan for doing something that will change my current situation and make my life more rewarding?‚Äù

The answer is that it can be done, and others just like you have done it.

Even if you consider yourself of AVERAGE ability, you can be successful, independent, free of worry, and be your own master, from this point forward, if you can commit to do these four things. Of course, it will take diligent and persistent practice for you to make these permanent and long-lasting positive habits. However, the rewards will be manifold!

1) Commit to remain forever dissatisfied with what you are doing and your situation today. Do not be like those who play the victim and blame others, the world and the universe for all of their woes. Take action toward what you want and spell out in detail when you want it.

2) When you have identified what you want to achieve, whether it be more love, better relationships and communication with others in your personal or professional life, a successful career, more wealth, better health or a full, rich life – always, always, always dream big and shoot for the moon. Remember, it is better to shoot for the moon and only reach the top of a mountain, than to shoot for the mountain top and wind up where you started.

3) Next, develop in your mind a belief that the word IMPOSSIBLE was not intended for you. A “can do” attitude will determine your altitude, every time.

4) Your final commitment is to build up in your mind the confidence that enables the mind to use its power. When you have confidence and the courage to step out of your comfort zone, you will always accomplish more in you life.

Author and poet, Bette Reese once said, “If you think you are too small to make an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room”.

So in conclusion, here’s the moral of my story to you…

“You are never too small. It is up to you, to make an impact.”

Okay, a show of hands, please!

Hey, that’s quite a lot of you.

Now, close your eyes and remember what it felt like to ride a bicycle for the first time. Maybe yours had training wheels that helped to balance the bike as you gained confidence riding on the sidewalk in front of your house. As your confidence expanded and also from observing the older children in the neighbourhood riding without any assistance, you then graduated to your first test without training wheels.

It was scary!

At the beginning came the wobbling of the tires and excited, hurried pedalling as you struggled to break free of your parent’s or older sibling’s guiding hand for balance. And, perhaps there were one or two falls with skinned knees and elbows along the way! However, through your determination, will power, desire and continued practice you soon sped forward on your own.

As you grew in size and age, you moved up to bigger and more complex bicycles and mastered them all. Some of you even learned to ride without holding on to the handlebars or perhaps did “daredevil” tricks jumping over ramps.

And, I’ll bet now that even if you haven’t ridden a bicycle in years, you could still do it.

Now, let’s take a look at success. For many people, success or being successful is just as scary as the first time they rode a bicycle. Naturally, many people want to be successful. However, there are few that truly have the motivation to put forward the needed effort and action, and make the necessary sacrifices to get what they want.

Here are four of my success strategies. Make them part of your “quest for success”.

1) Just as you did when you learned to ride a bicycle there is only one way to accomplish anything today ‚Äî set your mind to concentrate on doing it and let nothing interfere with your progress. Obstacles, whether they be training wheels on a bike or lack of resources (money, time, lack of skill, etc.) are quickly overcome by the person that sets out to accomplish their heart’s desire. Those who have the desire, ‚Äúthe fire in the belly‚Äù so to speak will outdistance and outperform those who do not.

2) No matter what anyone says, size does matter. When you first learned to ride a bike, you were a child. As you grew to adulthood, of course you were faced with greater and more challenging situations. On your road to success, remember this quote from my book The Power Of Concentration – How To Take Control Of Your Life:

“The ‚Äòbigger‚Äô you are, the smaller the obstacle appears. The ‚Äòsmaller‚Äô you are the greater the obstacle appears.‚Äù

Always look at the advantage you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed “size” and courage for the conquest – now and in the future.

3) Do not expect that you will always have a smooth road, free of potholes, speed bumps and detours. Parts of your journey are likely to be rough. The way you navigate the bad roads shows exactly what you are made of. Keep on with your journey and view with delight the smooth roads that are in front of you.

4) Do not let a setback stop you. Just like when you skinned your knees and elbows learning to ride, think of it as a mere incident that has to be overcome before you can reach your goal. Learn from it and use the lesson to move ahead.

Success is like riding a bicycle. Learn my strategies of success outlined above, and you will always be up to the challenge – regardless of the size.

Curious, I asked him about the killer tsunami that struck Chennai in December 2004. He vividly described how a huge wall of waves enveloped the beach and the land beyond, submerging his small fishing hamlet together with men, women and children. Later on, I contemplated one point that struck me most during our beach chat.The fisherman had mentioned that several hours before the tsunami, the sea had receded far from the land and the waves were very subdued – this was a phenomenon he had never seen in his lifetime. In hindsight, he concluded that this was nature’s way of warning about the upcoming disaster.

In work and life, we fail many a times, to notice the small but visible and obvious changes. We do not observe them and if we do, we prefer to ignore them. By the time we notice, they take on an ominous presence and acquire the momentum of a tsunami – and all we can then do is to run for cover.

Thankfully, not all small changes lead to life-changing, cataclysmic events. While it is good not to be paranoid, it is better to have a Plan B, so that when the inevitable life tsunamis are on the far horizon, we are well prepared.

Now is a perfect time to reflect upon what your declaration would say. It is interesting that in our culture, the New Year does not begin in the springtime, the season of rebirth and planting new crops, but rather in the winter, the season for withdrawing and reflecting. Keeping this in mind, when preparing your Living Willfully Declaration, you first need to spend some quality, quiet time, contemplating the bigger picture. Here are some questions you may want to ponder and perhaps write about in a new journal: Who is the person I want to become before I die? What values do I want my life to reflect? Who do I want to share my life with? What supports do I need to put in place to help me on this path? What do I still need to learn? How can I realize my utmost potential?

What other questions might you want to ask? Asking the right questions can be more powerful than seeking the right answers. The answers to such cosmic questions are often beyond the scope of rational thinking or one’s present level of wisdom. By asking good probing question, you are setting an intention and creating the opening for unexpected answers.

It may be bit overwhelming to create a definitive Living Willfully Document. As with every great expectation, it is best to begin one step at a time. So you may want to start with setting an Intention or Living Theme for 2010. The word ‘intention’ comes from the Latin root intendere, meaning to stretch toward something. It is not a goal that has a specific outcome. An intention is an aim that guides your actions; it is something realized not achieved. Simply stating an intention invites your intuition, creativity, and the universes’ natural goodwill to play apart in the answer’s unfolding.

This is very different from a New Year’s resolution. Unlike a resolution, an intention is not based on something you want to fix about yourself, but rather how you can elvove into the person¬† you want to be.¬† An intention is receptive and keeps you in the present moment, focused on the process; whereas a resolution is driven and keeps you in the future, focused on finishing.

Again by crafting a Living Theme as a question, you are inviting a certain outcome without forcing a particular agenda or result. It also keeps it off your to-do list and away from self defeating should’s.¬† Some examples of Yearly Intentions are: “How can I live more lightly upon the earth?” “How can I invite greater integrity into my life?” “What do I need to do to express more joy in my life?” “Can I allow myself to be more loving?”

Have fun with this. Try out a few variations until you find one that truly resonates with you and then let it organically unfold. Wishing you a wonderful, willful New Year!

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Karin Marcus, Certified Life Coach / Retreat Leader
“Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do” Rumi
Karin@Steppingoutcoaching.com 610-667-5247

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Do you know anyone who fits this description? Their opinions are final even if their arguments are full of holes. No one can dare oppose them or even try to put in a word edgewise.

They feel justified that the control of every moment of our lives should not only be in their hands but that their say must prevail in every matter. The result is we have Control Freaks. Look at life from any angle; they are everywhere. Give them a position of authority and they immediately take on a monstrous image. As parents, superiors and drivers the worst in them appears easily.

The rage levels in our midst are rising every day. This mindset of being so obviously superior and better, stuffed with self-importance is behind this rising phenomenon. New words like flight rage and shopper’s rage are making their entry into our lexicon because these are newly emerging tendencies for which our language was not equipped earlier. This goes to prove that these tendencies are all around us now. The other day I went into a shop looking for a new mobile phone. The owner is known to me but that day his son happened to be at the counter. The moment he saw me coming in he became busy with a drawer of his. Nevertheless I did mange to get to him by asking if he had new phones. He never looked up and simply replied “No” and continued to rummage in his drawer. I left without seeing his face. I suppose I am too old, out of date, economy minded and not really his kind of client. A wave of anger did rise but I controlled it.

The unfortunate part of this is that it is becoming part of the personae of capable and well-meaning people too. They judge themselves on the basis of some activity in which they are really better than many but they start assuming they are the best on all counts. So their self assessment is terribly slanted; they see themselves as superiors standing out from the lesser beings around them. Unfortunately, these people become awfully arrogant and intolerant and fly into rages just about everything and anything. They demand respect as a right. I saw this advertisement for a car in which the catch phrase is “demand respect”. So I must be right; even the publicity managers have caught on to this weakness in us.

These grand guys see others as totally incapable nincompoops and in their anger there is an element of disgust at the incompetent lowly oafs they have to live with. They are as far as I can see always at boiling point and when they interact, this view that they have of others is fully evident in their responses and reactions. They never correct, explain, advise or ask questions but berate and criticize. Their comments are scathing and designed to hurt like they would crush an insect under their feet for defiling their space. Every expression of theirs indicates their frustrations and saintly forbearance for their loutish brethrens and their own strength in comparison in tolerating it all.

Well they are what they are and what we need to bother about is how to deal with them. Arguing with them or trying to make them see our point of view will only enrage them more and it is well nigh impossible, not unlike trying to pass through a stone wall. They would see this act as insubordination or at least a case of pure and simple arguing back for argument’s sake. But then we can’t keep totally silent either. So a little manipulation is called for and for this we need to learn a bit of applied psychology. The first thing is to stay calm and not react. This takes out the wind from their sails. The second thing of importance is to go along but with an aim to divert them. This is not so easy but it can be done; it is done by primarily avoiding frontal tactics. For instance a boss I know gives very difficult-to-put-into-action orders far removed from ground realities and he refuses to listen to the field staff. His employees say “Yes, Sir” and go out to do it. This is their break of sorts and when they come back they put alternative suggestions logically and well-meaningly and this works.

Control freaks are always in a hurry and in their hurry end up destroying quite a lot of things around them that they themselves have built up. The trick is to let them rant but keep the control of the final action and pacing in one’s own hands. As long as these freaks are not contradicted, all is fine. It might even be a good idea to let them apparently interfere. Ask them for something. This will keep their egos quiet. Don’t get intimidated – just go about as if nothing troublesome is happening.

We have to be kind to them. They need to be humoured but if abuse creeps in, the only solution is separation. Sometimes it is not worth wasting ourselves out on these freaks as they may drain us out. No relationship is worth that!

Pradeep is an author, personal growth trainer and marketing consultant.

Let us not allow another year to pass us by, with our hopes and dreams still far away in the never never-land. Let us today, right now, make the decision that 2010 will indeed be the best year of our lives. Let the coming year be the time that we discover our true passions, the time when we set out to live those passions. No more excuses, no more justifications. Let’s make it a “life and death” priority for indeed it is life and death. For who among you wants to be part of a community of what I call the “walking dead”? People who would wake up each day, go to work at a job they are indifferent to, go to lunch with people they are not excited to be with, go home for dinner with people they love but have lost the passion for, watch TV programs that fail to excite or thrill, and then it’s off to bed and another same old, same old day. People who are just “occupying space”. Sad, but true for so many, if you care to admit it.

So before you heave a big sigh and wish you had not started to read this “depressing” article, let me assure you – there is hope yet! All of us can live our dream lives. It is within our grasp and within our control, and not meant to be left to ‘fate’ or the whims and fancies of some Higher Power out there!

All it takes is the courage to say to yourself, “Yes, I have one life to live and I want to live it the best way I possibly can. 2010 will be the best year of my life!” Shout it out loud, with real conviction, and I promise you, the moment you have put this desire in your heart, doors will open up that you have never seen before. People who can help you will magically come into your path. It will be as if the whole universe has heard your voice and is moving to help you achieve your dreams.

Not convinced? Well, ask yourself, what do you have to lose to believe and to act on your belief?

You can start by learning how to seize each magical moment in 2010. And to do that, you need to put on new “glasses” that are specially designed to help you recognize special moments in your life. It can be good things and blessings that you enjoy currently but have taken for granted. And of course as you start looking for the magic in each event in your life, you learn to create magic moments. And viola, you have the best year of your life!

As the integrative coach and best selling author Debbie Ford says, “When we are committed to claiming the moment, we look upon, create and invent our ordinary experiences as something extraordinary. We become a magnet for the unique and special. The lens through which we view life shifts, and we become seekers of the divine in every moment. To see with new eyes, to become aware of the blessings we hold, to create new intimate moments each day – these constitute a spiritual quest. This is the art of making the ordinary moments of your life extraordinary.”

Jessica See is a life coach and trainer with the Institute of Business Coaches. To find out more about being a coach or if you want to engage a coach, write in to ibc@masteryasia.com.

I have been actively making new-year resolutions for the last 3 years with very little success. It is usually regular stuff like fitness, skills, jobs, money, etc. It usually lasts for a few weeks. The longest was last year when I started jogging regularly and kept at it for a few months.

While analyzing why my resolutions have not been working I realized that most of these were ad hoc nice thoughts and did not really fit into any bigger plan. As a result, after the initial enthusiasm wore off, I was not motivated enough to keep following them.

It is that time of the year again and I am determined not to fail this year. So I have decided to take a different approach! I have not yet made my resolutions for 2010 but I have worked upon my strategy. Take a look at my six-step strategy for this year and see if it will work for you.

STEP 1: Reflect on 2009

1. What did I learn last year? If you have trouble answering this question, it’s time to change whatever you were doing. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you can and you should learn something new every year.

2. What was my greatest achievement over the past year? Reflecting on your accomplishments is an effective way to track your progress and also to raise self-confidence and contentment.

3. Which moments from the last year were the most memorable and why? It may bring up some below-the-surface passions and goals, or some pastimes worth exploring.

4. What have I struggled with in the last year? The objective here is to learn from your struggles and better equip yourself for future encounters.

5. What should I have NOT DONE in the last year? Steer clear of this in the future.  Set up barriers against this if you have to.

6. Am I carrying any baggage from the previous year that can be dropped? Emotional or physical. Eliminate anything that might pull you down.

7. Is there anyone I should have called? Regular communication can solve problems before they fester. Finish this task before you start planning your next year.

8. Is there anyone who deserves a ‘Thank You’ note? Take time each year to thank the people who have helped you.  People always, always, always remember ‘Thank You’ notes.

STEP 2

After reflecting on each of the questions above for a few minutes, answer the following questions about your biggest goals in each of these areas (not restricted to the next year but life’s goals for all these areas). Do not restrict or restrain your answers. Let the answers flow.

1. Goals related to family and friends: Is it more time that you want to spend with some people? Do some relationships need mending? Think about the people most important to you. Where do you want to take your relationship with each one of them?

2. Financial goals: How much do you want to earn by what stage?

3. Career goals: What level do you want to reach in your career?

4. Health goals: Are there any fitness related goals you want to achieve, or do you simply want to follow your doctor’s advice, or become a vegetarian?

5. Personal goals: Dig deep inside. What is it that you want to do – only for yourself?

6. Self-development goals: Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to achieve other goals? Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Does any of your behaviour upset you? If so, set a goal to improve your behaviour or find a solution to the problem.

7. Self-indulgence goals: How do you want to enjoy yourself? Make sure that some of your life is for you too!

8. Giving-back goals: Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?

STEP 3

Once you have answers for these goals, choose ONE (yes, ONE ONLY) key goal from each of these categories. Also, run them through the following checklist:

• The goals are positively stated.
• The goal are precise.
• The goals are written down.
• The goals are realistic.
• There is at least ONE unrealistic goal.

STEP 4

Break down each goal into:

1. Your life’s objective

2. 5-year objective

3. 2009 objective

4. Monthly/quarterly objective

Step 5

Make an action plan for each of the 8 goals. Also decide on a date every month when you will check your progress. Mark the dates in your calendar/outlook/whatever device you use. Give yourself the flexibility to revise the objective during  monthly sessions.

Step 6

Email the summary to your family and best friends. This is the most important step! Or better still, make your resolution(s) public! Tell the whole world about what you are going to do. Let the power of their collective expectations help you!

Write about your resolutions in the comments section below! Won’t it be fun to come back here and check how you and everyone else has done?

Shalu Wasu is a creativity consultant and trainer based in Singapore apart from being guest faculty at select institutes.

Are you ready for 2010? The editor recommends the following articles.

For fear of not being accepted, we tailor our personality, mince our words, and carve our opinions to fit in. It takes courage to be real – and it takes stamina because if you want the best out of life, it will demand the best of you time and time again.

When you choose to be real, there will likely be tough choices and 11th hour changes. There will be misunderstandings, uncomfortable silences, and sometimes, there will be isolation.

When do you feel like giving up? What discourages you, or tempts you to doubt that sweetness is on the way? Now, write down three remedies for discouragement….lunch with your best friend; a visit to church; dusting off your diplomas, re-reading a love letter, swimming twenty laps; warm soup eaten in silence.

My three most regularly practiced remedies for discouragement:

1. Call Candis. She will say something so country-wise and lovely that I’ll either laugh or cry, and either is great.
2. Rose hip clay face masks, preferably Eminence. Sometimes exfoliating your face also takes the slough off your spirit.
3. Review my body of work (go back to grade school stories if I have to) and remember that I have an agent who’s waiting for me to deliver.
4. Bonus remedy: I read some Abraham Hicks. It’s the ultimate woo woo that is usually bang on my cosmic sensibilities. The basic message: you are exactly where you are supposed to be and all is well. Have fun.

Now practice just one of your remedies this week to keep your stamina strong. A little preventive soul love is mighty strong.

Weight loss isn’t always that quick though and it is important to understand that although there are many promotions on TV and the Internet that promise otherwise, they don’t always ring true. One thing to remember is that when you hear hype in the media, chances are it is just that. People are trying to sell a product to the unsuspecting person who wants the fastest way to lose weight so they make sure that you listen to them.

Your might even have friends who have blogs that tell you a variety of things that will help you lose belly fat but you have tried them and they just don’t work. There are several common things that people believe when they want to understand how to lose weight and most of them are false.

Here are a few myths that we have found not to be true:

Myth #1: The Best Way To Lose Weight Is By Doing Cardio
There are a lot of cardio myths out there that have everyone working their behinds off because they think this is the key to the fastest way to lose weight. Some say you have to do this before breakfast, others say you have to do it for 20 – 45 minutes and still others say it has to be intense cardio.

The reality is that although cardio works you have to do it over a period of time if you want to have a rapid fat loss. You also have to be willing to change your lifestyle towards eating more whole foods, vegetables, fruits and nuts.

Myth #2: If You Want To Lose Belly Fat This Supplement Will Work
For any supplement out there you will find thousands of websites saying they will help you lose belly fat or by adding the supplement to your regular diet it will help you burn fat. The challenge is that there have been not studies or scientific evidence that say that supplements help in every situation.

For some people the vitamins, minerals or other supplements are actually helping them get better nutrition. With better nutrition this will automatically help you lose weight over time and this eating better can be the best way to lose weight.

Myth #3:  You can lose weight without doing exercise
There are several websites that tell you this because they have some sort of fat burner or metabolism raiser that says it is for people who hate to exercise. The bottom line is that if you really want to know how to lose weight exercise is a part of it. You can tell this is true if you spend most of your time in front of the TV instead of going out and walking around.

A little exercise may make you see that this is true because if you are eating right and getting some exercise it will help you burn your belly fat. This could be the fastest way to lose weight.

Myth #4: Losing weight is easy
We don’t know who came up with this one! The best way to lose weight is to eat better and exercise. However, it depends on how much you want to lose whether it is easy or not. Those people who work on ways to loose belly fat can tell you it isn’t all that easy.

————————

Matt Lisk is a fat loss expert who has used his knowledge to lose over 80 pounds of body fat, reduce his body fat percentage to under 10% and to resolve a variety of health issues he was experiencing. He is the author of Lean State University’s Fat Loss 101 Newsletter at http://leanstate.com

(Thanks to Subroto Bagchi, for bringing “The Professional” to the world, and to my loving son Janardhan for getting me lay hands on “The Professional” last evening)

Mahadeva came to cosmopolitan Bangalore, as his dear mother walked out of her native village and her own family in a huff. Mother and the child Mahadeva took to the streets of Bangalore for a living, and the mother does chores to grow child Mahadeva. Until a day she became unwell, and had to get herself with son to the Government Victoria Hospital in Bangalore. As she is treated for a terminal illness, Mahadeva makes the outside of the hospital his playground, gets a new world, full of acquaintances, and a sense of kinship in this world.

Then one day, someone came and told the little Mahadeva that his mother was dead (Dead, What? – little Mahadeva) and the mother was buried as the hospital could not wait for the little son to come back after his play.

The boy has nowhere to go, and also refuses to go back to his native village even as a few people in the hospital ward raise money for that purpose. He made the hospital his home, and as he grew, started running errands there, like the person who did the same when his mother was brought in to be treated at the Government Victoria hospital.

The hospital was Mahadeva’s Universe; and he had grown up; one day, the cops asked Mahadeva to bury an unclaimed body and gave him Rs.200/- for the job. That accident turned to be Mahadeva’s profession, and he eventually became ‘the’ guy to go to for Bangalore’s unclaimed bodies. He carried out the task religiously, and every time there was an unclaimed body, the man summoned was Mahadeva.  His rigor was like : Pull the stiff body from the morgue, hire a horse drawn carriage, take the body to the burial ground, dig the soil and bury the corpse – all by himself for just Rs.200/-. After every such burial Mahadeva would be back, hanging around the hospital waiting for the next assignment! As years passed, Mahadeva bettered his job – even paying due respect with flowers at the time of burial – a practice he got when he once buried someone close to his heart.

With the kind of passion, dedication and commitment to work, Mahadeva was much in demand – he had his own horse drawn carriage and later, thanks to some nice human beings, he got an auto-rickshaw.

His business has grown now, and the horse which was his carriage and died later is now his logo in his business card. Now his son has joined him too.

Till date, Mahadeva has buried more than 42000 corpses, and has won accolades and phenomenal recognition for his selfless service to the community! The Chief Minister of Karnataka has felicitated Mahadeva for his selfless service to the city of Bangalore. Even the petrol pumps he goes to fill in fuel for his hearse-auto do not charge him!

Mahadeva is proud and happy of his work, and contended.

Mahadeva, the high-performer; and a true professional.

Lessons for us : A professional is not someone who is just professionally qualified, or carries the designation on his business card. A professional has the ability to work unsupervised, and has the ability to certify the completion of his work.

Like Mahadeva, who needed no supervision; who attended to his call of duty, come day or night, hell or highwater! He certified the completion of his work! He has no employer – for the Victoria Hospital, he is just an outsourcing agency for disposal of unclaimed bodies. He does not have a boss who writes his appraisal, gives him feedback….!

In most work environments, people who produce anything of economic value need no supervision. A person who needs supervision is NO professional. He is an amateur, even an apprentice!

So, are all of us true professionals?!

(Inspired by “The Professional” by Subroto Bagchi, Penguin Books India 2009)

Be it in our professional or personal lives, we do find ourselves at our wits’ end, not knowing where to go, what to do. At times like that a kind soul comes along and through kind words, meaningful gestures or any kind of help that seems appropriate at that moment, aids us in sailing through that tough challenge. It is only when we anchor in safe harbors again that we reach out to that kind soul and say Thank You.

These two small words….Thank You….can carry a lot of weight. They express feelings of gratitude to somebody who has been generous with their words, affection, money or any other gesture. We use these words so often, but how many times do we really feel it in our hearts or do we just fall into the trap of saying it mechanically? Let us ask ourselves honestly how often have we really, sincerely thanked someone from the bottom of our heart and felt really grateful for that person’s presence in our life.

Those closest to us and who do so much for us without really being asked to are taken for granted. Never for a moment do we stop to think that by saying, Thank You in some way we are not only acknowledging their presence in our lives but also make them feel worthy of being who they are.

Thank You…. sometimes said very softly yet it contains a whole lot of heartfelt emotions, sometimes said with tearful eyes and sometimes said between sobs, but at all times these two precious words should carry a lot of weight for both the person expressing appreciation and the one receiving it.

Let’s look at the person saying Thank You. Now here is a person expressing gratitude to the other because the other’s actions have had an impact on his/her life. It does take a lot to say a heartfelt, meaningful, Thank You. Not only that, it also means the person acknowledging the kind gesture has the capacity to recognize qualities of kindness, giving, generosity and a loving nature in the person from whom he/she has received so much. Thus just that one expression of Thank You can have an enormous effect for both – the receiver and the giver.

In fact there is so much to be thankful for, from the Creator to our natural surroundings; from family and friends to our working colleagues. Every moment should be a moment of gratitude. But how often do we, in our fast-paced lives express or live the attitude of gratitude? Saying Thank You makes you feel lighter and better and in some way it is also an enriching experience for the person receiving the sentiments. Go ahead, think of all who have in some way or the other made a difference to your life…. reach out and say Thank You.

One of my best friends and I have a sick tradition. We get excited about each others’ hardship. One of us will be sniffling through an out-pour of angst about how wrenching a particular life lesson is, and isn’t it crazy how when it rains it pours with shitty news, and turmoil, and big life do-overs. You know, those excruciating disappointments and Tough Spots – the kind that require a friend to help you navigate.

Sniffle. Silence.

And then the listener on the other end of the line replies, “Holy suck factor. But, you know … I’m kinda excited for you.” And then the other one of us blows her nose and says, “Yeah, I know, it’s great.” And we’re not joking. But we laugh at that absurdity and our sheer effing moxy, and then the other person goes back to whining and processing while the listener resumes her role as the receptacle of angst out-pour.

And we believe it. We believe in the divinity of the suck factor. It’s an implicit, and lived, and affirmed understanding: that the universe trades up. That as Camus and kd lang said, “In the depth of winter I found in me there was an invincible summer.” Or as Nietzsche and Bruce Willis put it, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Or at least more expanded. And that’s very exciting. And excitement about getting to the other side is just what you need to get there.

One such effort with a very mind boggling title came my way, thanks to my daughter who bought this book, read it as well, and goaded me to do the same, a few months ago. I could not do so then, because my mind was preoccupied with more pressing matters.

On this week end, however, it not only rained, it poured, and that too at a time when I was all set to drive to the golf course for an eagerly awaited tee off. But thanks to the weather, I was stopped in my tracks. I was restless and impatient, and did not know what to do. As I sat pondering, I happen to glance at this book on my side table. I picked it up at around 3 pm on that bleak Sunday afternoon. I did not put it down till well past midnight. Such is the power of expression in this effort by Subroto Bagchi — a successful self made man and a first generation entrepreneur who has lived a rewarding corporate life culminating in the founding of one of the most admired business corporations of India — Mindtree.

The book uniquely titled as, Go Kiss The World is:
A story of endless endurance.
An unending stride for excellence.
A saga of patience and perseverance.
An example of painful but rewarding diligence.

That title itself is so catchy and commanding. A command that the author’s mother lovingly gives him when he is at her bedside, just before she is about to take her last breath. What a wonderful command…reminds me of Napoleon and his famous words: Give me Good Mothers and I shall Give you a Good Nation!.

The book has been written in a very simple and effective narrative style. It is full of real time experiences shared with readers through a unique elan. The author describes and reflects about choices made, stances taken, learning, unlearning and relearning all the time. He speaks about never retiring as long as one lives and gives the reasons why through living, breathing examples.

It essentially meanders through four decades of the life of a unique professional who ‘values values’ most, beginning in a nascent corporate India of the fifties and sixties and successfully culminating in the blooming first decade of India in the 21st century. Through examples of corporate life lived through a smattering of well-chosen anecdotes, the author has magnanimously made it possible for the budding entrepreneurs of India, to learn from others’ experiences and mistakes. How thoughtful of him.

With the love and support of a humble father and devoted mother, the author commences his journey by first excelling as an NCC cadet in his early twenties, and then later in his late forties, as a priced team member and think tank core team member, of the famous entrepreneur; Azeem Premji of WIPRO repute. He excelled and went from strength to strength.

Then when he has it all — wealth, power, and influence, he finds he is more restless and ill at ease than ever before.

After money what?…is a question several leaders who ‘value values’ have asked themselves. The author aptly cites the example of Warren Buffet here and goes on to advocate his theory that money beyond $10,000 does not lead to happiness, as sought!

In that very spirit, the author, at the pinnacle of his career, with two daughters well settled in universities in USA, this co-founder of Mindtree, requests that he be allowed to step down and work as “a gardener”…gardening was something he learnt, loved, cherished and enjoyed doing as a child along with his mother in the simple rural settings of Orissa where he grew up.

In the end, the author has very benignly summed up the very true and meaningful lessons to be imbibed by anyone who is seeking a deeper meaning to existence beyond the call of material success. A delightfully written and essentially a must- read book for everyone, but especially young leaders in the making. As I too have now decided to Go And Kiss The World!

How much do we do in a day with our nose to the grindstone? Myopic, focused, making a list and checking it twice. Done. Done. And done. But what have we done? Really? What’s the “big real” of what you are doing? There’s a Big Real behind everything we do. Sometimes it’s a negative Big Real. Sometimes it’s a positive Big Real.

I’m not posting to my blog. I’m evoking the truth.

I’m not working on my book proposal to have it to my agent by Sept 15. I’m writing a book that could spark people into true action, and it’s burning inside me, and people want it and they want it bad.

I’m not cleaning my house, I’m making it a Zen temple in which I can hear myself think and we can cozy up. (Okay, I’m just jokin’ with that one. Vacuuming is vacuuming and it sucks hard. Pun. I know, I just caught it.) But you get my point.

What’s became rote or banal for you that is really part of a great dream or vision or bad plot that you really don’t want to be participating in?

Working overtime? How about: making sure you’re getting to Miami for your next holiday to flame your mojo?

Hauling your ass out of bed for a run? How about: connecting with the power of your body and tapping into your creative thinking?

Cutting people’s hair? How about: your salon is a place where people heal and are heard and have their beauty nurtured.

Waiting on tables: How about: you’re learning and teaching loving kindness.

Filing papers for your boss? Maybe the Big Real there is that you’re helping a do-no-good company make no-good money while your own genius wilts on the vine?

Look up. Zoom back from the tasks and see the holy weaving of your time and love and action. Make it matter. Because it does.

No one is exempt from life’s polarities.

Sometime ago I read a Jewish folk tale about the wise king, Soloman. The king had asked his ministers to find a magical ring which could make a sad man instantly happy and a happy man instantly sad. One of his intelligent ministers gave him a simple ring with the following words engraved – This too shall pass. He then asked the King to look at this ring at moments when he is either happy or sad.

In our life, we encounter happy or sad moments daily. When it happens we get swept away by the moment, feeling elated, angry, sad or overwhelmed and we lose our sense of balance or inner equilibrium.

The right approach at this transient time would be to maintain our balance, accept and learn from the moment, take it in our stride while remaining detached. Become an observer instead of being a victim of circumstances – remember this moment too shall pass.

“Use your manners, would ya?” said the the group leader. “Turn around and come back in quietly.”

And in mid-rage, huffing and puffing, buddy just stopped. Calmly. “Oh. Okay then.” And he left the room, re-opened the door, walked in and sat down in the nearest empty seat. Quietly.

Standards work wonders.

When we routinely justify people’s poor behavior, we block the chances for change to occur. Excuses repress clarity. I worked with someone for too long who was bipolar manic depressive and we always chalked up her behavior to their illness. We let her off the hook for all sorts of crappy behavior. But nasty is nasty, and mean is mean, and my standards are higher than that.

So next time your mother is a bit well, you know how she gets. Or your typically grouchy neighbor is a grouch. Or your always-under-a-lot-of-stress boss loses her cool because she’s so understandably stressed… Call it at face value, all afflictions, dispositions and psych 101 labels aside. There is no excuse for bad manners.

Common sense is a mighty powerful thing.

From the beginning of time, as the world and life itself evolved, mankind has constantly striven to push the pace of progress, leaving the weak to die, and the strong to live and thrive. We called it the process of ‘natural selection’. And so it is today too, with even greater ferocity and ruthlessness.

Anybody within reach of reality, must always recognize the compelling need – of discomfort, of constant change, of threat to survival, of creating and fostering change, of continually learning, of challenging the established norm.

Only when you can catalyze change continuously, can you truly consider yourself to be leading on the edge.

The arithmetic is very simple. The size of the pie being constant, to eat more of it, somebody else has to go hungry. That is, unless somebody has the wisdom and the ability to make another pie and another. Business and Life strategies are increasingly pointed in this direction. How to make another pie!

Here is a Do It Yourself Kit that each individual would find useful in the marathon race for survival and growth especially in these times of uncertainty.

1. Believe in Yourself – You Count!
1.1 List your Strengths.
1.2 List successful Moments of Truth in your life.
1.3 List Positive Feedback you have received.
1.4 Write an Appreciative Letter to yourself.
1.5 Write One Thing you do well that others don’t or cannot do.
2. Put Your Entire Energy into What You Do- It’s Your Signature!
2.1 Make every moment special.
2.2 Check what you have done for excellence.
2.3 Set standards for yourself.
2.4 Sell your work to yourself.
2.5 Make a Masterpiece of any work you do.
3. Value and Respect Others, No Matter Who They Are or What They Do – You Can Learn From Anyone!
3.1 List Your Everyday Advisors and their Key Advice.
3.2 Write a positive note on How to Use each Key Advice.
3.3 Make it important to Try each Key Advice and Record the Result.
3.4 Write down Who You Discount or Discredit as Capable of Sound Advice and Why.
3.5 Write down at least 2 Good Points about those you have put in the “Discredit List”.
4. Experiment and Experience Life – Move Out of Your Shell!
4.1 Describe a Typical Day in your Life.
4.2 Write what New Things you have done each day for the past Ten days.
4.3 Write down Things that you want to do in Life but do not dare to.
4.4 Write down Positive Outcomes and Negative outcomes for each.
4.5 Write down How you will Handle each Negative Outcome successfully.

5. Learn to Forgive Yourself and Others – But Do Not Encourage Incompetence!
5.1 Make a list of all the mistakes you can recall you have made in the past one year.
5.2 Put down reasons for each mistake and classify them into 3 categories – PERSONAL ( identify whether Lack of Knowledge or Lack of Personal Competence / Skill / Ability ), CIRCUMSTANTIAL ( Due to Situations out of Your Control ), or PROVOKED ( because of Other People’s interference/ incorrect advice / involvement).
5.3 Write down consequences of each mistake.
5.4 Decide how you will handle each consequence to produce a Positive Outcome.
5.5 Examine each PERSONAL error and write down what you have to do to strengthen yourself in the areas of Knowledge, Skills and Capabilities to improve your overall Competence.
6. Keep an Open Mind, Learn to Coexist with Differences – In People and their Opinions and Views.
6.1 Make a list of people you do not like – people known to you personally or professionally.
6.2 Write what you find wrong with each one of them.
6.3 Put down honestly, at least one clear bias or prejudice you hold against each one.
6.4 Examine the link between your bias or prejudice and your judgment about these people.
6.5 Write down honestly any small agreement you may have with each view or opinion you have rejected or discarded.
7. Take Charge of Your Life – Be Alert at the Wheel, Learn to Accelerate, Chart Your Course, Follow the Signs, Decide Your Breaks, Fill Your Tank and Turn On the Music too!
7.1 Write down One Dozen things you are trying to accomplish at the moment.
7.2 Write down your progress against each one – use a scale of 0 to 10 where 10 is the maximum accomplishment score.
7.3 Put down what is blocking you against each of these one dozen items.
7.4 As a consultant, recommend to yourself, what you should do to overcome these obstacles.
7.5 Write down how you will celebrate each success in overturning each obstacle, and make sure you do it.

8. Make Sure You Have Passengers in Your Car too – Carry Others along with you, Create Wealth for Others too!
8.1 Make a list of the closest people you live with and those you work with.
8.2 Write down for each one what you think are their needs and concerns.
8.3 Write down what you do well and what capabilities you possess to do those things well.
8.4 Put down against each thing you do well, how you can help each one of the people you have listed earlier.
8.5 Make a silent promise to each one you have listed that you will help them in someway, no matter how small.
9. Be Humble Not Arrogant, but Market Yourself Vigourously and Honestly!
9.1 Write down a complete list of all your possible strengths and capabilities.
9.2 Create affinity clusters of these and write down the results they can help produce or deliver, regardless whether you currently have the opportunity or not.
9.3 Write down who needs to know about each of these strengths and capabilities.
9.4 Make an appointment with at least 3 key people from your list.
9.5 Discuss your strengths and capabilities with these 3 key people and ask them how and when they can use your talents.

10. Keep revisiting Your Goals ( roadmap ) and Keep a Clear Eye on the Road too – Stay Focused on the Present while Working out the Future!
10.1 Write a list of everything you could possibly want in life.
10.2 Qualify each one as Short Term, Medium Term and Long Term, using your own definition of the time frame for each.
10.3 Put deadlines for all Short Term goals and list at least 10 immediate activities or tasks you need to perform to achieve them.
10.4 Draw flexible time-lines for each Medium Term and Long Term goal and list at least 10 short term activities / tasks you must perform to achieve each one.
10.5 Raise red flag check points on all time framed activities and tasks.

‘Knowledge is power’ – a quote often heard and one I had the benefit of hearing from my father over many years when growing up as a teenager.  Again, I didn’t really understand what this statement meant, or more essentially, what this meant to me.  As a young adult the concept of power related to simple and obvious examples; political leadership, strength of force and perhaps even the ability to impose one’s will on another.  Today I now know that power is much more to do with the self.  Thankfully it appears that cliché we used to hear so much ‘empowerment’ has been replaced with others, so perhaps we can now free to revisit the theme and really aim to understand what it means to each of us on a fundamental level.

Personal development is the path to growth.  This brings a multitude of benefits.  It is probably fair to say that for a lot of people the idea of personal development is a catch-all phrase that encompasses a study of the self and ways to improve in different areas.  Some people focus heavily on self development from the perspective of becoming more effective in their chosen career.

Many smart people realise that simply improving your technical skills and knowledge is not enough.  If you want to excel in your chosen career, and life generally, you need to equip yourself with a range of tools; including skills and knowledge but also the ‘softer’ skills of good communication and ability to influence, as well as strong sense of purpose and iron-clad self-belief.  This focus on the emotional and for some even spiritual development is a task taken up with relish.  After all, the development of the self is the highest achievement we should all seek – to be more valuable and beneficial to others in life we need to be the best we can be.  This is not a new philosophy but one that humans have pursued for thousands of years and is the common theme found across so many religions and philosophies.  So perhaps I can pose you one simple question to you; what is it that you think stops so many people from either embarking on this worthy quest, or give up so readily when the going gets tough?

‘Try’ is an interesting word.  We all use it, some more than others.  We teach our children that to ‘try our best’ is good enough.  Another jewel I was handed by my former mentor was the real meaning behind the word try.  I challenge you to ‘try’ this on for size and see how you feel, at a gut level with this argument; try is the word we use to describe the following – “I will do this until I find it too hard or difficult and then I will give up”.  Some people react badly to this lesson; I’ve had howls of protestation when quoting this statement.  Who would ever like the label of being a person who simply gives up when the going gets tough?!  But giving up is not the issue here.  Sometimes giving up is entirely the right thing to do.  Every good entrepreneur knows the real skill is in knowing when to get out of a venture or project and find a new direction.

In my own personal experience I spent many years battling with a traumatic situation in my personal life and remained in that situation despite the fact it was literally killing me, simply because I believed that I could not (or should not) give up and accept the reality that was in front of me.  My values told me that to give up was to let others and above all myself down.  Ironically when I did eventually ‘give up’ and let go the dynamics of the situation changed dramatically and a new road to recovery opened up, my life began to change for the better and so did the lives of others around me.  No, the actual kernel of this lesson is simple; anything worthy of achievement will often contain an element that we simply find unpalatable, uncomfortable and, as so many people will think and describe, the source of stress and anxiety.  That emotional pain that some of us push ourselves towards is actually a sign, a signal of something very important and, I put it to you, an essential element of personal growth. 

If you feel uncomfortable and anxious, good, know that this means you’re growing.  Don’t fear it or allow it to control you, know it is in your life for a reason.

The lesson my former mentor gave me was this; at a deep and fundamental level much of what we pursue in the quest for our personal development will result in us feeling pain and frustration.  The degree may be slight; we may simply experience the feelings of anxiety and stress, or just feeling uncomfortable and generally agitated with our current situation.  In the more extreme cases we may even encounter real fear; the fear of complete failure.  Certainly, some people in this situation describe the sense of a complete loss of personal belief and conviction.  Thankfully this may rare and temporary but the emotions it can bring are still powerful and dramatic.

This may be a stark admission but I also still occasionally experience periods of complete loss of self belief.  This overwhelming feeling comes, often unexpectedly, like a tsunami and takes me.  A downward spiral of emotions that follows almost always ends at the same place; that eternal question – is this really all worth it?  Thankfully because of the teachings of The Winning Edge, and constant support of my new mentor, Richard Jackson, I am able to prepare for these moments and can hold on to the knowledge that just like that tsunami I will eventually be washed back up on to the beach.  Perhaps a little dazed and gasping for breath but still very much alive and welcome of that fact.

Feeling uncomfortable and dissatisfied, or even frustrated, stress and anxious are all signs; signs that you are probably operating in a way that is beyond your setting for ‘normal’.  It’s certainly worth remembering that these feelings are only the physiological reaction to how your brain is interpreting incoming data.  As trite as that could sound this is a vital point to remember and will help to shield you the next time you encounter them.

All stress and anxiety is self-induced, this is a provable fact, albeit a very uncomfortable one for some people to fully accept.  If you are operating at a level that brings you the feelings of stress and anxiety it demonstrates that you are probably operating in a way that you are simply not used to – you are literally outside your comfort zone.  This can be daunting but also massively liberating; it should be accepted as a marker to remind you that you are somewhere new in life and probably experiencing something your neurology just isn’t familiar with.  The trick is to be aware of it and above all accept it.  Respected personal development proponent Jamie Smart offers this wonderful phrase; “acceptance is the WD40 of personal growth”.  How perfect; wouldn’t we all want to oil the wheels of our own growth occasionally?!

Of course it could be that you really are operating beyond your limits and if you have genuine doubt about your ability to cope, or ever worse fear the real consequences that could befall you, then you should reevaluate the situation and, if need be, extract yourself from it appropriately.  Taking risks without calculating the odds and being aware of the potential outcomes is foolhardy and not the sign of real entrepreneurship, nor is it an attitude to be recommended to those wanting to experience the journey of personal growth and development.

My challenge is a simple one.  Ask yourself these questions at every opportunity; am I actively pushing myself beyond my comfort zone? What actions am I deliberately taking, in a calculated way, to raise my game and what will I do today to place myself in a position where I probably will feel unsettled, anxious and ever ‘stressed’?  This is the key to personal growth. Growth is often painful and uncomfortable but soon this new level of being becomes our new ‘normal’ and we can then aim to step up to the next level, and so on, reaching for that elusive goal of being the best we can be.

One thing is for sure, stretching yourself will bring stresses and discomfort but also the immense sense of satisfaction and feeling of massive achievement.  In July of 2008 I joined a small band of similar lunatics and decided to participate in the world-famous Bull Run in Pamplona, Northern Spain.  Originally a great idea in the pub a year before turned into a macho challenge that meant few would pull out without fear of ridicule.

A year later, standing in the crowd, early in the cool morning air, listening to the silence of many hundred ‘bull runners’ all experiencing the same emotions of fear and considerable anxiety, I really asked myself ‘why?’.  My mind raced with a mixture of possibilities; just walk away and join the spectators, run with the bulls and suffer the horror of being on the evening news as the latest tourist to be gored to death, or simply hold on, feel the fear and run as fast as my feet could carry me.

What on earth could have possessed me to join in a ritual that was as much a display of collective madness as much as a test of manhood and carried the very real risk of being flown home in a black plastic bag?  Completing the run and arriving, in gladiatorial style, to the immense wave of noise and emotion in famous bull ring of Pamplona was without a doubt one of the most intense experiences of my life.  My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would burst from my chest at any moment; I was on adrenaline overload.  At that moment, I was more ‘alive’ than ever before and living more in the moment than I had thought was humanly possible.  With the pain of personal growth comes the sweetest of rewards; living our life completely consciously, being there, being complete and yet being aware that we can all be so much more.
So be more!

Nial Adams – now leads a team of dedicated Associates who promote the acclaimed Winning Edge personal development programme from Mancroft International.  A father of two, Nial enjoys the crossover of boundaries between his personal and professional life, both of which are dominated for his desire for personal growth and understanding, as well as his desire to help others experience this amazing journey.  As a long-term practitioner of classical martial arts and ranked Master Instructor he has spent over 30 years searching inside for the answers.

Contacts:
Mancroft International, Drayton Old Lodge
Norwich, Norfolk, NR 8 6AN, United Kingdom
Tel. 0844 884 2940
W. www.mancroftinternational.com
E. nial.adams@mancroftassociatesltd.com

2. Solicit opinions from a diverse audience. Nothing like asking a twenty year old and a seventy year old what they think about your stuff.

3. Solicit opinions from experts. Ask a gifted writer what they really think of your material. Take your CEO to lunch for a preemptive performance review and some tips on how to sail up the ladder. Hire a stylist to eyeball your fashion fabulousness. It may sting, it may be a major gust of wind beneath your wings, but either way, an expert opinion will motivate you to get on top of your game.

4. Stand naked in front of the mirror and don’t leave until you can say three deeply loving things about: your physique, the miracle of your health, and your qualities as good human being.

5. Fire your most annoying client, team member, or nasty friend. You’ll wished you’d done it a long time ago.

6. As the Dalai Lama says, “Love until it hurts.” For me that would mean volunteering at an old age home. I can hardly bear the wastage and scarcity of dignity that makes for most nursing homes. It slays me. I always leave a total wreck.

7. Choose silence. Turn off the TV. Commute without the car radio on or your i-Pod earphones in. The silence may unsettle you. With our addiction to noise and distraction held at bay, our anxiety, painful beauty and genius has room to surface.

8. Underachieve. This is especially for all the A Types and workaholics. Slack. Don’t finish the book. For one week, do not do a to-do list. (I know, your palms are sweating at the very thought.) Be late just because you wanted an extra five minutes in the hot shower.

9. Take an improv class. It could teach you more about innovation, relationships, success, and sexuality than any therapist or self help book.

10. Say no. Only offer the simple explanation that “it just doesn’t feel right.”

11. Say yes. Just for the hell of it. Whimsy is a direct route enlightenment…or peril. Either way, you’ll come out stronger.

Focus is a fabulous force. Tho’ sometimes, it’s good to blur the lines and depart from your expertise, your skill set and what you think you know so well. Many a great discovery has come from accidental encounters and seemingly unrelated interests.

Choose three subjects that you have no interest in whatsoever, or that you’re actually slightly adverse to. Do it right now. Google ‘em. Let yourself meander for a bit, not too long – just until you learn something you didn’t know before.

My topic picks: knitting – I respect it dearly, but it’s never going to happen for me; National Rifle Association – a mentality that baffles my sensibilities and values; high-jumping – not in this life time.

Here’s what I learned in under fifteen minutes:
1. From Craftnicity and The Knit A Square Project: It is estimated that there are 11.6 million orphans in sub-saharan Africa. 1.4 million live in South Africa.
2. According to the Washington Post, “visitors to some national parks would be able to start packing heat along with their tents and picnic baskets under a proposal being considered by the Interior Department that would ease restrictions on loaded firearms in the parks.” Just what I want…to go camping in the same vicinity as some yahoos with a Winchester in their cooler.
3. Blanka Vlašić is considered the Best Female Athlete in the World. Her legs go up to my chin. Wowza.

The point of this exercise isn’t to waste time or fill your bean with trivia. It’s to remember what it’s like to actively learn. Feel your brain pulse, your eyes lift, your heart open. Freshness. Power. Perspective – is everything.

Given the way that civilization has progressed in the last 100 years or so, this was indeed, the need of the hour. But our demanding professions have become our definitions – our identities, and with the recent job cuts that have come along with the recession, we see more and more cases of depression when one loses that identity, it is as if they have lost themselves. When we meet someone new the first question that comes to our minds about the other person is “What does he/she do?”

While this system has created great technological advances, wonderful products, high standards of living, has it, in the process killed our individualism and reduced our identities to that of mere employees?

Recently we see more and more companies giving more importance to the ability of a person to perform or deliver rather than their degree. To give you a real life example, a graduate in Japanese honors is a manager in training at one of the world’s leading banks. And what does she train people on? No, not just communication skills or soft skills, but she trains CA’s and MBA’s in financial products! She designs training modules and training calendars for the year. The fact that this bank is doing better than the others in this time of recession says, they can’t be doing wrong.

This brings me back to the question: is our system of education limiting us from what we can truly achieve? If I have trained to be a doctor, or an accountant, can I ever be afforded the luxury of retraining to become an astronaut or a carpenter without falling into debt and losing my credit rating? What if our education system, only taught us to be great students instead of teaching us to become just a particular professional? What if it taught us to become great thinkers or innovators? What if subjects like, “Effects Of Religious Biases On Society” or “Advantages of Organic Farming” or “Important Alternative Green Fuel Sources” or “People Skills” or “How Global Poverty Affects Us” or “How To Manage Personal Finances and Its Advantages” or “Having An Open Mind” were introduced into our curriculum at an early stage?

While they might be slightly touched upon these days, are they getting the importance they truly deserve? If terrorists can ‘brainwash’ youths into their way of destructive thinking that drives them to live extreme lives, face extreme hardships, and even give up their lives, can we do the same for a better cause? If the whole world is educated along these lines and actually prospers, how long will it take for the terrorists to find out that this is a better , more human-friendly way of life? We know it is possible to create such mass awareness – for example awareness about aids, vaccinations against polio, awareness about family planning have been a huge hit for a population the size of our country.

At what age or level of exposure do we decide that “This is the subject or specialization, that I choose — and for the next 50 years I am going to do this and nothing else”? As a teenager! By then do we know enough about ourselves to make that decision? Studies reveal a majority of adults hate their jobs and were it not for the money, they’d prefer not to go to their jobs. So the majority of us are spending time doing something we do not want to do, but are forced to through lack of choice.

A choice we made as teenagers has closed their doors to everything else and the education system has taught us that we cannot switch over any more.

What if our education system were more flexible and able to empower people to explore the changing aspects of themselves? What if education gave them the courage to align themselves to something they truly enjoy — what would happen to our society? Can you imagine the revolution and positive consequences for humanity?

Maybe it really is time to upgrade our education system.