“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.” - Walt Whitman
Soon after we met, my man and I were getting ready for a party. “I’m not good at parties,” I warned him. “What?! You’re like the public-speaking power chicklet.” “Noooo. I’m the girl in the kitchen who talks to one person all night and leaves without saying goodbye.” Give me a stage and I will rock the house. Give me a house party and you’ll barely know I’m there.
Authenticity is not an either/or equation. Your soul is an all-inclusive package – frills, foibles, and contradictions. It’s your opposing parts that leverage your magnificence into full force.
My extroverted introversion used to cause me great grief. Am I a sincere fake? The Boo Radley freak who doesn’t talk to neighbours? Surely, if I were more genuine and loving I’d be more outgoing. Sigh. None of it’s true. All of it’s true. I’m an outgoing Lone Ranger, a white Canuck who feels like a Nubian Queen on the inside, a fiercely loyal opportunist.
How to spot your contradictions:
• When has someone said, “That really surprises me about you,” “I can’t believe you did that”?
• Where do you feel the pull to compromise vs. rebel?
• Guilt can be a primo indicator for inner truth tugs. What are your guilty pleasures or indulgences?
• What do you save for special occasions (from your dancin’ shoes to your verbal affection)?
• What would going “wild” look like for you?
• What do you deny yourself?
Love your assorted ways
Now, aren’t you a curious critter? The Buddhist who knows every Metallica song by heart. The stay-at-home mom who wants to be a pole dancer. The Pro-Choice devout Catholic.
Don’t resign yourself to your idiosyncrasies. “Accepting” yourself is a passively lame option for full-tilt self love. Exalt your contradictions, celebrate them, go so far as to use them to your divine advantage.
Congratulations! You are large. You contain multitudes.
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Danielle LaPorte founded www.whitehottruth.com, is lead author of the bestseller, Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design, and co-founder of www.carrieanddanielle.com. A former think tank exec, she helps entrepreneurs rock their careers with her signature Fire Starter Sessions. You can reach her at d@daniellelaporte.com.
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