What happiness means to Me!
Waiting tired and drained at 9:15 in the night near Nungambakkam signals, I listlessly watch people clustered around a tea stall eating hot bread and eggs. The smell wafts and my tummy growls in response. I see some talking endlessly on their mobiles as they cross the crowded junction. Horns blare as the other lane sweeps into action and I cool my heels. Suddenly a Kawasaki bike snugly fits between me and another car. I overhear him talk above the din. He is yelling, appealing, almost imploring “I’ll do anything to keep you happy Raji. Believe me! Raji listen!” And then after a few moments I see him tuck his cell phone into his pocket.
The green light flashes as I ponder about him and his relationship. How often have we been taught this myth? This myth that we can make others happy and we ought to keep our loved ones happy?
As kids we needed to keep our parents and siblings happy. Then the focus shifted to our teachers, friends, dates, spouse, in-laws, children and their in-laws not to mention our customers, suppliers and bosses.
Phew! Who else?
The question that strikes me is: do we really make these people happy and is it really possible to do so?
Of course, we do our bit by first giving little gifts, then stuff which we think would please someone, then material goods, and more and more on these lines.
But does stuff make anyone happy? Did stuff make Lady Diana happy?
Let us look at happiness closely. We often imagine it to be a state of being that we need to achieve some day – it’s a kind of destination which we will arrive one day.
Bad luck! Such a thing does not exist – I meant the destination.
Happiness does exist. Truly our very being is happy. When I say “I am happy!” it’s a mood, a feeling which I can savor or experience for a span of time, then when I move I am something else.
However the major difference would crop up if I did not give the keys to my happiness to anyone else to make me happy. Instead if I were the source of my happiness then I would say “I am happiness.”
I would glide, witness this and other emotions with dispassion and the stillness would anchor me.
My fuel for this inextinguishable happiness would emerge when I believe that this universe is a safe place to be in. The love I share can multiply and come home to roost.
My happiness gets multiplied as I share and it doubles when others share theirs as well.
As I learn to ‘let go’ pain, grudges, darts and hurt, loss and grief, I am restored to my original self. I slowly learn to accept them not as wounds and scars but as life’s signatures which I need to learn and having learnt them move on.
Remember that the Sun shines regardless of whether I keep my windows open or closed.
Shyleswari is a Chennai-based corporate trainer.
You will like these as well!
|
Featured Tickles  Here Is Your D-I-Y Kit For A Leading Edge LifeManagement gurus and their disciples, thinkers, strategists and business process re-engineers have been busy propelling the modern world into not only coping with, but also keeping in step with the rapid changes of an ever shrinking, increasingly competitive and exhaustingly demanding global market. I Wish I Were A GoldfishI am told that a goldfish cannot remember anything beyond a 3 minute time frame. One of my favorite pastimes is to sit and watch our goldfish swim around lazily and rising up only to gobble at the food before going back to their contented existence. Their swimming around actually reminds me of chil The Fine Art of Persuasive Communication!There are many areas to look at in communication: a message is communicated through visual, vocal and verbal means. From that, comes the importance of body language, how we present ourselves, and so on. The visual and vocal elements are indeed very important to effective communication, but we will Teaching the teacherThe arbiter of knowledge and skills, the teacher, is a revered figure around the world. In India, the teacher is known as the guru, the wise one who can be trusted to lead the knowledge-blind and shine the light of competence and skills in the darkness of ignorance and incompetence. Over time it ha My 5 rules for life1. There are no rules. Structures, how-to's, dogma, principles...all disciplines and theories should be used to support your freedom and independent thinking. Curiosity is exponentially more powerful than playing by the rules. 2. Say thank you. Gratitude is one of the most creative and noble forc How To Nurture A Successful RelationshipHave you ever wondered how certain couples were able to stay together for many years? What are they doing right? What are the factors that contribute to the success of healthy, long term relationships? There are a few fundamental components that will improve your chances of having a successful relat Waves Of InspirationI stay in the coastal city of Chennai and one of my favorite pastimes is to explore the coastline that borders one side of the city. Starting from the crowded marina and Eliot’s Beach to the less crowded and secluded ones that dot the East Coast Road (or ECR as it is called), I have always found How To Be Depressed"Depression was, indeed, the hand of a friend trying to press me down to the ground on which it was safe to stand--the ground of my own truth, my own nature with its complex mix of limits and gifts, liabilities and assets, darkness and light." Parker Palmer I've never been through pregnancy depress Make an ass of yourself but do not let the world know...Many a time we are swept by that overwhelming feeling to bare all. Not to be mistaken with confession which is done after ensuring that there is nothing further to lose on account of reputation. I am referring to pure tear jerker stuff. Born out of righteous indignation. Or plain stupidity. The form Time management with the monksOne mile south of Georgia O'Keefe's beloved Ghost Ranch in New Mexico, thirteen miles down a cliff-hugging dirt road in the heart of Chama Canyon, you will find Christ In The Desert. The Benedictine Monastery is cloister to about twenty monks. I'd fantasized about retreating to the remote monastery |
Loading ...
Twitter 
Facebook
Subscribe