Victor Or Victim – Your Choice
Right now it’s tough to not feel like a victim. So many events seem to be beyond our control, and so many consequences of the decisions of others appear to have cost so many so much. It’s an easy time to choose to blame others and let events just carry us along- the perfect example of a victim.
And an awful lot of people will do that, and be the poorer for it. They will stop trying to swim upstream, and instead let the current carry them where it may, and they will feel out of control and blame it on things outside themselves. They are victims of events. And victims want every one else to be a victim too – it proves they’re right about their own behavior. They will have chosen to be a victim – even though most would deny it.
Others choose to be victors. Faced with the same events and circumstances and consequences and outcomes as victims, they will continue to swim upstream – possibly more slowly and with more effort, but still working their way toward their goals. They know it may take longer, it may be tougher, but they choose to stand and fight, rather than let themselves be overcome by events. They take action – sometimes actions that seem so small – but they know that only action leads to results. And in doing that they often find opportunities that they couldn’t have dreamed of, but exist because of the very circumstances that turn others into victims. As Steve Schiffmann says in his book Make It Happen Before Lunch, “dwell in possibility, there is always a door somewhere waiting to be opened.”
Victors are optimists, opportunists, takers of action.
I was talking to the editor of a recently launched real estate investment magazine and she admitted the market is tough right now, and many people are holding off, sitting on cash, and taking a wait and see attitude. But others are looking for alternative forms of financing, taking advantage of what they see as bargains in the market, and continuing to work their goals. Even in what is described by the media as one of the most downtrodden of markets – real estate – littered with the failures of so many – others are working and prospering. They’re victors – and they will be stronger and more successful for their efforts.
Remember the aftermath of Katrina? How some people pitched right in, started clearing brush and helping others, and doing what they could to start the process of rebuilding their lives and the lives of others. Under the most difficult of circumstances – these were people who had lost everything – they put their heads down and started with action – doing something, anything, to move forward. They’re victors. I have no scientific proof, but I suspect those that showed that behavior ended up getting back on track faster, and moved forward on their life’s path much more quickly than those victims who waited for help – and complained when it wasn’t forthcoming as fast as they expected.
The media did a disservice in the aftermath of Katrina by focusing on the bad things – the late response, the lack of organization – and made it easier for people to be victims. After all, Anderson Cooper on CNN, among others, showed how screwed up the rescue efforts were. And how could an individual, a victim of Mother Nature and FEMA, be expected to make a difference? Many didn’t feel they could make a difference, and I suspect those people may be still waiting for and expecting more help. Victims rarely win – they just serve as examples of how “they” – the system, the government, the neighbors – didn’t take care of them. And a major word in the vocabulary of victims is ” fair” – as if there was some obligation in life for things to be “fair” – whatever that means.
To be a victor requires courage, goals that keep victors pointed toward where they want to go, and an understanding that they may not be able to control all the things that happen to them, but they sure can choose how they deal with them. Victors keep control of their responses. They have their bad days – weeks – months – but they persist. And in doing so they win in the game of life. Regardless where you are right now, choose to grab ahold of whatever it is that you really want, set your plan to get it, and act. You’ll be better for it – I guarantee it.
————————
Andy Cox helps his clients select and develop teams and talent. He focuses on helping leaders and emerging leaders define and develop their skills and talents using goals. He can be reached at http://www.coxconsultgroup.com , or at acox@coxconsultgroup.com
You will like these as well!
|
Featured Tickles  Here Is Your D-I-Y Kit For A Leading Edge LifeManagement gurus and their disciples, thinkers, strategists and business process re-engineers have been busy propelling the modern world into not only coping with, but also keeping in step with the rapid changes of an ever shrinking, increasingly competitive and exhaustingly demanding global market. I Wish I Were A GoldfishI am told that a goldfish cannot remember anything beyond a 3 minute time frame. One of my favorite pastimes is to sit and watch our goldfish swim around lazily and rising up only to gobble at the food before going back to their contented existence. Their swimming around actually reminds me of chil The Fine Art of Persuasive Communication!There are many areas to look at in communication: a message is communicated through visual, vocal and verbal means. From that, comes the importance of body language, how we present ourselves, and so on. The visual and vocal elements are indeed very important to effective communication, but we will Teaching the teacherThe arbiter of knowledge and skills, the teacher, is a revered figure around the world. In India, the teacher is known as the guru, the wise one who can be trusted to lead the knowledge-blind and shine the light of competence and skills in the darkness of ignorance and incompetence. Over time it ha My 5 rules for life1. There are no rules. Structures, how-to's, dogma, principles...all disciplines and theories should be used to support your freedom and independent thinking. Curiosity is exponentially more powerful than playing by the rules. 2. Say thank you. Gratitude is one of the most creative and noble forc How To Nurture A Successful RelationshipHave you ever wondered how certain couples were able to stay together for many years? What are they doing right? What are the factors that contribute to the success of healthy, long term relationships? There are a few fundamental components that will improve your chances of having a successful relat Waves Of InspirationI stay in the coastal city of Chennai and one of my favorite pastimes is to explore the coastline that borders one side of the city. Starting from the crowded marina and Eliot’s Beach to the less crowded and secluded ones that dot the East Coast Road (or ECR as it is called), I have always found How To Be Depressed"Depression was, indeed, the hand of a friend trying to press me down to the ground on which it was safe to stand--the ground of my own truth, my own nature with its complex mix of limits and gifts, liabilities and assets, darkness and light." Parker Palmer I've never been through pregnancy depress Make an ass of yourself but do not let the world know...Many a time we are swept by that overwhelming feeling to bare all. Not to be mistaken with confession which is done after ensuring that there is nothing further to lose on account of reputation. I am referring to pure tear jerker stuff. Born out of righteous indignation. Or plain stupidity. The form Time management with the monksOne mile south of Georgia O'Keefe's beloved Ghost Ranch in New Mexico, thirteen miles down a cliff-hugging dirt road in the heart of Chama Canyon, you will find Christ In The Desert. The Benedictine Monastery is cloister to about twenty monks. I'd fantasized about retreating to the remote monastery |
Loading ...
Twitter 
Facebook
Subscribe
This is very much in tune with the article I have just posted on my own blog – Attitude – A Glass Half Full. http://smartpoppies.wordpress.com
It’s the attitude we bring to our business that really determines whether we end up floating away downstream like a bit of old rubbish or if we get to ford the sandbars to achieve our goals.
It’s a wonderful piece of motivational article. Really like Katrina, the on-going economic downturn is again being used by media in making quick money. And with more channels and print options the competition to picturise the gloom has reached a frenzy. The obvious effect is fear-psychosis among the mass leading to a snow-ball effect in the disturbed economic phase.
India is comparitively better placed with lesser share of Export business compared to other growing economies of the time. Still people are driven mad by headlines screaming – doomsday.
Its time not to be desparate and distort the economy further, but to grab the lifetime opprotunity to let the inner strength come out and take the bulls by horns. Human history has passed through much much difficult times and it is in compared to those simply nothing. It’s a cycle and we should be glad that we are in the ebb with “going-up” the only option left.
Let’s spread the message to negate all negative vibes and get fater vaccination from prophecies of gloom.