Victor Or Victim – Your Choice
Right now it’s tough to not feel like a victim. So many events seem to be beyond our control, and so many consequences of the decisions of others appear to have cost so many so much. It’s an easy time to choose to blame others and let events just carry us along- the perfect example of a victim.
And an awful lot of people will do that, and be the poorer for it. They will stop trying to swim upstream, and instead let the current carry them where it may, and they will feel out of control and blame it on things outside themselves. They are victims of events. And victims want every one else to be a victim too – it proves they’re right about their own behavior. They will have chosen to be a victim – even though most would deny it.
Others choose to be victors. Faced with the same events and circumstances and consequences and outcomes as victims, they will continue to swim upstream – possibly more slowly and with more effort, but still working their way toward their goals. They know it may take longer, it may be tougher, but they choose to stand and fight, rather than let themselves be overcome by events. They take action – sometimes actions that seem so small – but they know that only action leads to results. And in doing that they often find opportunities that they couldn’t have dreamed of, but exist because of the very circumstances that turn others into victims. As Steve Schiffmann says in his book Make It Happen Before Lunch, “dwell in possibility, there is always a door somewhere waiting to be opened.”
Victors are optimists, opportunists, takers of action.
I was talking to the editor of a recently launched real estate investment magazine and she admitted the market is tough right now, and many people are holding off, sitting on cash, and taking a wait and see attitude. But others are looking for alternative forms of financing, taking advantage of what they see as bargains in the market, and continuing to work their goals. Even in what is described by the media as one of the most downtrodden of markets – real estate – littered with the failures of so many – others are working and prospering. They’re victors – and they will be stronger and more successful for their efforts.
Remember the aftermath of Katrina? How some people pitched right in, started clearing brush and helping others, and doing what they could to start the process of rebuilding their lives and the lives of others. Under the most difficult of circumstances – these were people who had lost everything – they put their heads down and started with action – doing something, anything, to move forward. They’re victors. I have no scientific proof, but I suspect those that showed that behavior ended up getting back on track faster, and moved forward on their life’s path much more quickly than those victims who waited for help – and complained when it wasn’t forthcoming as fast as they expected.
The media did a disservice in the aftermath of Katrina by focusing on the bad things – the late response, the lack of organization – and made it easier for people to be victims. After all, Anderson Cooper on CNN, among others, showed how screwed up the rescue efforts were. And how could an individual, a victim of Mother Nature and FEMA, be expected to make a difference? Many didn’t feel they could make a difference, and I suspect those people may be still waiting for and expecting more help. Victims rarely win – they just serve as examples of how “they” – the system, the government, the neighbors – didn’t take care of them. And a major word in the vocabulary of victims is ” fair” – as if there was some obligation in life for things to be “fair” – whatever that means.
To be a victor requires courage, goals that keep victors pointed toward where they want to go, and an understanding that they may not be able to control all the things that happen to them, but they sure can choose how they deal with them. Victors keep control of their responses. They have their bad days – weeks – months – but they persist. And in doing so they win in the game of life. Regardless where you are right now, choose to grab ahold of whatever it is that you really want, set your plan to get it, and act. You’ll be better for it – I guarantee it.
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Andy Cox helps his clients select and develop teams and talent. He focuses on helping leaders and emerging leaders define and develop their skills and talents using goals. He can be reached at http://www.coxconsultgroup.com , or at acox@coxconsultgroup.com
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This is very much in tune with the article I have just posted on my own blog – Attitude – A Glass Half Full. http://smartpoppies.wordpress.com
It’s the attitude we bring to our business that really determines whether we end up floating away downstream like a bit of old rubbish or if we get to ford the sandbars to achieve our goals.
It’s a wonderful piece of motivational article. Really like Katrina, the on-going economic downturn is again being used by media in making quick money. And with more channels and print options the competition to picturise the gloom has reached a frenzy. The obvious effect is fear-psychosis among the mass leading to a snow-ball effect in the disturbed economic phase.
India is comparitively better placed with lesser share of Export business compared to other growing economies of the time. Still people are driven mad by headlines screaming – doomsday.
Its time not to be desparate and distort the economy further, but to grab the lifetime opprotunity to let the inner strength come out and take the bulls by horns. Human history has passed through much much difficult times and it is in compared to those simply nothing. It’s a cycle and we should be glad that we are in the ebb with “going-up” the only option left.
Let’s spread the message to negate all negative vibes and get fater vaccination from prophecies of gloom.