Use anger as a deliberate management tool…
There is much talk of anger management nowadays. It is good that the negative import of anger is understood now and people have become ready to do something about it if they can. I suppose anger management courses at least make you aware of the elements at work when anger assails you and you know the elements that will help you control it. Yet the question remains if anger can be controlled consciously by simply wanting it.
Anger is a primeval and elemental reaction coming from deep within. It even has a constructive part to play in life. Change comes when one is unhappy and angry about something and one does something about it. But anger has a negative aspect too. Where there is vanity at play it stems from a feeling of insult and where there is intellectual arrogance at play it stems from a feeling of superiority. The reactions are very strong and spontaneous and even before you know it your mouth or hand will have made the first move. If you are alone you may take it out on an object but if you are with another member of the homo sapiens race the chances are that a heated argument will arise and as is normally the process, both sides will keep on getting angrier till some catastrophe ensues.
It is very easy to lose one’s temper, specially when one is in a position of authority or clearly where the subjugation is complete with the knowledge that the opposite side has no way to retaliate. In this situation there is a tendency to go overboard. It feels so good and letting off one’s steam of indignation is so potently medicinal to one’s ego.
It is another matter that sometimes situations are created that are so irritating that anger becomes awfully necessary. People who are stubborn or lazy will try to rationalize and argue but not do the job they are entrusted to do. If they do, it is done badly to suit their convenience, etc. This can be enraging. It is essentially a trial of strength and then when a show of strength has been challenged, it is a duel to death.
Anger should be understood as a management tool. Humans are still in a state of insincerity. They are very happy with their cleverness. The only time they get shaken up is when they realize that their little world might come tumbling down around them. Fear is the key. A show of anger from a person who has the power to make or mar someone’s career is a potent motivator. So, one must learn to use it wisely. Use your intelligence to lose your temper under control. Note the time and need. Then alone let go and that too in short bursts so that the damage is minimal. Show of controlled and disciplined anger is a useful tool if you don’t get carried away by it yourself. This is where the risk is: one may be carried away into frenzy.
Life is designed to test you. See how children will test the waters around them and make their parents see red. They are growing and need to know how far they can go in life. This attitude is everywhere.
A driver trying to cut you off or an employee coming late are basically the children in us trying to gauge how far they can let their own selfishness carry on. It is another matter that eventually when the repercussions of their acts come back to haunt them, they may crib and moan. This is life.
A mature, intellectually aware person rarely shows anger. He sees through the machinations and he never jumps to premature conclusions which are normally triggers for unbridled anger build-ups. When the world has been understood and the elemental forces at work have been recognized, it is easy to distance oneself from the imbroglios created by vanity and stupidity. This is the real cure. If one wants to control anger, one simply needs to rise intellectually and emotionally above the mundane. Like a modern airliner that simply flies over the storm clouds to avoid a storm. We can’t avoid the mud but we can save our feet from it by wearing a shoe.
We certainly need to reduce the irritants around us. We first need to ignore them as tantrums of children when there is no harm done. But if it goes beyond that, a little show of anger will help and that is good.
Pradeep Maheshwari is an author, teacher of French, personal development trainer and marketing consultant.
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“Use your intelligence to lose your temper under control. Note the time and need. Then alone let go and that too in short bursts so that the damage is minimal. Show of controlled and disciplined anger is a useful tool if you don’t get carried away by it yourself. This is where the risk is: one may be carried away into frenzy.”
Are you for real? What a lot of rubbish! Lose your temper under control? Really? I see you teach French, that’s just as well, because your grasp of English is tenuous at best!
OK, I apologise, your English is good, it’s your understanding of logic that is lacking. Either way, it is nonsense.
If a jumped up manager lost his or her temper with me, I’d make sure they would never forget it. Report them to the police for harassment, or go to an employment tribunal, see my union rep… A manager who needs to lose his or her temper should never be entrusted to be a manager. End of story.