Top 10 Tips for Being UNcreative
1. Always hold meetings at the same time and same place, with the same people and with the same fixed agenda. You believe that it shows you are in control and that everyone likes structure.
2. Always listen to the same music, eat the same food and read the same books. You believe that this shows you know what you like.
3. Say ‘it will not work’ instead of ‘I wonder what will happen’. This avoids embarrassment and you can always blame luck if it really does work.
4. Try to avoid failure at all costs. People never get to the top by making mistakes. Do they?
5. Always take the easy way out or use the first idea that springs into your mind.
6. Never start anything unless you know how it will turn out. This is also a sign of control and avoiding mistakes and always makes sure that wacky ideas are never given the light of day.
7. Never ask ‘why’ or ‘how’ because you may discover something unpleasant or the answer may contravene tip number
8. Always discard ideas or plans that have flaws in them. They are useless and can never be made to work.
9. Never share ideas with others, yours are too valuable and they have nothing to contribute.
10. Always believe that you are creative and that others are idiots.
(If you recognise any of these in yourself then you might like to alter your behaviour unless of course you control nuclear reactors for a living. If you recognise any of these in your boss or colleagues then start job hunting.)
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