But this year I have made a resolution. I have decided to wipe out all traces of the ‘split personality’ in myself!

I was the kind of person who never believed in researches and comments made on split personality, but yes, now some real life experiences have made me re-think the issue.

I say that most of the people suffer from split personality. Haven’t you observed that we are different when we are happy and calm and at peace, and we become very different when we are upset and angry and annoyed! Isn’t this a case of split personality?

I will say a big YES; though there are chances that researchers will plan to slay me after reviewing my write-up.

I have observed that even those who like to stay in peace end up fighting when at times things don’t turn up to their expectations. To explain more, let’s take an example.

Suppose you have a small happy family and you don’t like your child asking permission for late night parties. What would you do? The first few times, you will handle the situation calmly, but what after that what? Won’t you slap your child saying what most parents say under these circumstances, “how many times have I told you not to ask and go for such parties?”

It was a very small example but I am sure it would have rightly portrayed split personality.

This New Year I wish to have one whole personality rather than the split one. Healing the split is my resolution.

I have discovered some tips for this as well:

1.    Always remember who are you.
2.    Always remember what impact will your second personality could have in future.
3.    Don’t make decisions when you are not feeling like ‘original’ you.
4.    Start behaving exactly opposite when you feel that the ‘second’ person wants to come out, like if the ‘second’ person wants you to shout at someone, go and give a hug to the same person and so on.
5.    The most important, always remember this is your NEW YEAR RESOLUTION!

–

Priyanka Thakur is currently part of the HR team at Delphi Automotives Pvt Ltd, Greater Noida, responsible for recruitment, training, employee engagement activities and HR interventions. She writes regularly for HRD Newsletter. Contact mailpriyankain@gmail.com

I do not believe in making new year resolutions because I want to live my life naturally without any harness. And a new year resolution is nothing but a harness. We live once only. I don’t want to spoil it all by allowing new year resolutions to have the better of my life.

Every year many of my friends ask me about my new year resolution. My reply to their query is always the same – to break all resolutions that I am not going to make. I enjoy the shocked looks I receive from them.

Pushing myself to do something I am not naturally inclined to do is not my cup of tea. There is no point in being at war with myself. I do not believe in being harsh to myself.

The purpose of making new year resolutions is to make life more beautiful. If forcing new year resolutions upon you is going to make you unhappy, the whole purpose gets defeated. Then why make resolutions in the first place?

Making fun of those who perpetually work at disciplining themselves makes me happy. So I just do that. And yet I do make resolutions. But they are no grand things at the beginning of new year. I make them every day depending on what needs to be done and what is important to me.

So relax if you have already started breaking your resolutions. Follow my example and make daily resolutions – tiny bite-sized tasks that will bring you happiness. And if at all you break these resolutions, you won’t feel miserable. On my part, I do follow my daily resolutions without forcing myself to do so. It is not tough at all and it makes me feel good.

Life is short and every day is a new day. Live it fully without putting yourself in harness.

Now is a perfect time to reflect upon what your declaration would say. It is interesting that in our culture, the New Year does not begin in the springtime, the season of rebirth and planting new crops, but rather in the winter, the season for withdrawing and reflecting. Keeping this in mind, when preparing your Living Willfully Declaration, you first need to spend some quality, quiet time, contemplating the bigger picture. Here are some questions you may want to ponder and perhaps write about in a new journal: Who is the person I want to become before I die? What values do I want my life to reflect? Who do I want to share my life with? What supports do I need to put in place to help me on this path? What do I still need to learn? How can I realize my utmost potential?

What other questions might you want to ask? Asking the right questions can be more powerful than seeking the right answers. The answers to such cosmic questions are often beyond the scope of rational thinking or one’s present level of wisdom. By asking good probing question, you are setting an intention and creating the opening for unexpected answers.

It may be bit overwhelming to create a definitive Living Willfully Document. As with every great expectation, it is best to begin one step at a time. So you may want to start with setting an Intention or Living Theme for 2010. The word ‘intention’ comes from the Latin root intendere, meaning to stretch toward something. It is not a goal that has a specific outcome. An intention is an aim that guides your actions; it is something realized not achieved. Simply stating an intention invites your intuition, creativity, and the universes’ natural goodwill to play apart in the answer’s unfolding.

This is very different from a New Year’s resolution. Unlike a resolution, an intention is not based on something you want to fix about yourself, but rather how you can elvove into the person¬† you want to be.¬† An intention is receptive and keeps you in the present moment, focused on the process; whereas a resolution is driven and keeps you in the future, focused on finishing.

Again by crafting a Living Theme as a question, you are inviting a certain outcome without forcing a particular agenda or result. It also keeps it off your to-do list and away from self defeating should’s.¬† Some examples of Yearly Intentions are: “How can I live more lightly upon the earth?” “How can I invite greater integrity into my life?” “What do I need to do to express more joy in my life?” “Can I allow myself to be more loving?”

Have fun with this. Try out a few variations until you find one that truly resonates with you and then let it organically unfold. Wishing you a wonderful, willful New Year!

————————

Karin Marcus, Certified Life Coach / Retreat Leader
“Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do” Rumi
Karin@Steppingoutcoaching.com 610-667-5247

http://www.SteppingOutCoaching.com

Download your complimentary “Walking with Intention: A Self-Guided Mini Retreat”

http://www.SteppingOutCoaching.com/newsletter.html

This is in continuation of my earlier post ‘Stay happy’… I continue to think of how the beginning of the day is so important to set the pace and mood for all that follows; till the day ends… But, most of us are in an awful mood in the precious morning hours. Lets break that jinx, here and now.

Here are 10 simple and great ways to begin your day in a nice way..

1. Begin the day with some great music you love; let it be of any genre. just that it has to pep you up, and fill your mind. And wear a smile on hearing that. Most morning mood issues are just because we are blank in the mind, and the void attracts negativity. And by doing things listed here, we are just attempting to get positive energy flow into us.
2. Ensure in the first few minutes after you wake up and get done with your usual morning chores, you get going with some brisk activity… can be a jog, some cycling, laughing with your wife and children, reading little of  a good book.. Anything that does not keep you idle… Morning idleness is the biggest sinner.. Be extremely active…
3. When you get up from the bed, get up and move around with deliberate gratitude. Count your steps as you do your morning chores, and for each step, say thanks to anyone/everyone you chose – can be your spouse, some friend you touched you, your loving kids… could be just anyone whom you can express gratitude. And there are so many of them, who we come across by the hour, everyday. Just that in our purposeless activities, we fail to see them.
4. Visualize a great day in your mind…. with all details, color and candor of what your perfect day should look like.. that sale close, that great meeting, your best pitch, shopping with your spouse etc.. In most times, what is visualized becomes real later in the day.
5. Start the day with a to-do list creation as the 1^st task… Let it contain not only professional tasks, but even personal and social task.. Including something mundane and as light as watering the tree, or cleaning up the desk… and off-course having fun with your family and friends. End of day, tick off what you have done… it gives you a feeling of achievement, and when you make this list, you will do most of what is important.
6. Take a piece of paper, and quickly jot down 5 things you did right the previous day, and also 5 things that you messed.. include all trivia, like not smiling at the receptionist of your workplace, abusing someone in the traffic snarl… This is one of the best ways to introspect.. and get to being a better person.
7. Make one or two small resolutions for the day… not necessarily big and life changing, but simple ones that will make you a better person than the previous day… like ‘I will smile at every human encounter’ or ‘I will say thanks to all during the day’…..
8. Help in the household chores… Pick up some simple household chore and help your spouse quicken the morning chores.. again anything simple would do.. Most of all, it keeps you active, and also saves time in the family for more things to be done.
9. Close the doors and sing a song, dance a few steps, laugh at yourself looking at the mirror, admire you from head to toe, look at how confident and nice you are as a person…
10. As your kid wakes up, lie down next to him or her, and just catch up with what they think… could be about their friends, school, a fight in yesterday’s gully cricket, some conflict in them… Just start of and run a conversation for just 5 minutes… You will see a different world, and get a perspective of what things are…

By no means are these are not the only ways you can start of… There could be many and you can design a positive start to the day, with any of these as cues….

Have this as a daily mantra… the first hour after you wake up is the golden hour, that sets the ball rolling rest of the day… By making this active  and positive, your day can be worth its weight in gold… in joy, happiness, and fulfil ment.

( and you can also do all these at anytime during the day to make a great life!!)

Understandably, when a new year arrives, we all start to look for new resolutions. But to me, the resolutions need not always be new. And it need not be only a resolution but can also be a reflection. Preferably more of a reflection rather than resolution. Also, it can be a continuation of the previous year’s resolution(s) except that you may want to re-adjust and re-align it to suit your ambitions or plans in the new year.

So, what I will do first is to reflect and then have a resolution if I need any new one. If not, I will stick to the present and/or previous resolutions and continue with them. The way I look at it is like this: as long as I have not achieved the old resolution (if I have one), I won’t start on a new one even though it is a new year. I figure that we don’t have to have new resolutions just because everyone else is having one.

I would want to reflect on my relationships with my siblings and parents, especially with those whom I have taken for granted and¬† hardly know who they are as individuals even as we grow older and apart. It may sound surprising¬† but many of us don’t really know our sisters, brothers and parents.

Then, I will want to look at my other relationships with people outside my family circle. Do I need to continue or discontinue with them or network for new ones? I look for reciprocity in any relationships. It’s not just that I like your face and I want to be your friend kind of thing.

Not forgetting my career, where am I going with my career? Do I want to continue working ‘makan gaji’ or do I want to do something else on my own for a change. Also, what about my contributions to the society? That, too, needs to be looked at in order to share the knowledge that is in me so that it won’t lie wasted.

Last but not least is the need to look at self-management i.e. my daily life, my debts, my time, my place, etc. What went well? What can be done better? What did I learn?

Welcoming new year sounds looks like a tall order. But the need to go through all that is vital if you need to renew yourself. So, just having a resolution is not enough but one needs to first reflect, reflect and reflect before coming up with any resolution.

God willing, may 1430 Hijriah, New Year 2009 and Lunar Year of the Ox bring us much success, happiness and prosperity!

I’m in advertising Рwhich by default is a volatile business. Especially because the pace is hectic and the demands on your time, always on stretch mode. It’s a playing ground where tempers fray, decibel levels go up and you just might say or do something that you’re going to regret.

Something like that happened last year with a client, who is known to shoot four-letter exclamatories all the time. Harmless really, but can be disturbing when you’re wearing thin on patience. Over the years, his own employees had learnt to ignore his profanities – all of it just “bounced off their walls” as far as they were concerned.

So, on a particular job when he went ballistic without reason, I probably reacted with a little bit of aggression. It was just a teeny-weeny snap back, but the client lost face on his own turf.

And since the event was unprecedented in terms of an agency response, it didn’t go
down too well. The meeting was hurriedly terminated and within a fortnight Рyou’ve got to believe this – the account was moved to another agency.

It was not a large account, so the arithmetic in terms of a loss didn’t weigh us down; but I had lost a friend. Here was someone who took my advice on anything from dreams to diapers; someone who loaned me some of the best books I have ever read. A client turned friend, who planned meetings around one in the afternoon, so we could stay back for lunch.

It wasn’t just the shifting of the account Рthe face-off seemed to have long term withdrawal symptoms. If we met at movie theatres, one of us made sure we were not in the same air space. If we walked into the same lane at parking lots, one of us side-stepped to do a long and meaningless detour. (When you bump into someone at a blind corner, even a stranger comes up with a smile.)

As write this, I look at my desktop calendar and notice that it is the 27th of December, 2009. And I wince momentarily when I realize that we didn’t send each other cards for Christmas. We had even deleted each other’s names from our address books.

As reality dawns and wisdom makes a sneak appearance, I wonder if I should add an important task to my list of new year resolutions. I wonder if I should just call my friend and make peace – to rekindle a relationship that did mean something to both of us.

I know that it just takes one person to make that move Рand the other will invariably greet you with open arms and a warm smile. Quite simply, it was a question of one step forward, one move, one gesture… one person picking up the phone and saying “Happy New Year…now let’s just put this behind us in 2010.”

And that was the first thing on my list of resolutions.

As the clock struck 12 on New Year’s, I think I was one of the first to call my friend. He told me he was so happy, that he actually had tears in his eyes. We met the next day for lunch and opened a whole new chapter for 2010 and beyond.

Importantly, we decided to keep business out of it.

–

Sharath Bhat is a freelance copywriter in from Bangalore, India. Interested in Creativity & Innovation, Content Management & Blogging,  Technology & Computers. Fascinated by the limitless expanse of the internet, where you can share ideas across time zones – in a world without boundaries. He blogs at www.indianink.in.

No year is without challenges. And no year is a cakewalk. All of us can remember some years in our life which were life changing. And some which just passed by. 2010 is a powerful year in many ways for a lot of us. It may provide us with grim moments and yet at the other hand may usher in such joy and peace into our lives. Let’s take a look at what the Tarot cards have to say for all 12  Zodiac signs on the challenges and joys of the year ahead.

Aries

The card of self honesty reminds us, that as long as we remain true to ourselves and know what we believe to be right, we can spare ourselves a lot of stress in 2010. This does not mean being ruthless or critical about ourselves, it means we learn to accept our shortcomings and work towards making ourselves better as human beings. You may be in for a very pleasant surprise when you realize something you lost made you find something or someone even more wonderful than ever before.

Healing Scent : Lemongrass

Taurus

Whatever you fear is not going to happen. This message reminds us that fear is nothing but false expectations about reality. 99.99% of our fears do not come true. Analyse it for yourself with examples in your life. Use logic, reason and your innate sense of practicality to help you emerge stronger and wiser in 2010. One of your most happiest moments could come during a relaxing holiday in the months ahead.

Healing Scent : Lavender

Gemini

Speak out and stand up for yourself is the message for Geminis in 2010. Nobody wants battle cries, but if you express your perspective or your individuality you’ll see new respect in their eyes. Do not allow anyone’s demands to drain you. Say no and  define your limitations, how much you can do and cannot do for others. Your most positive moments could arise when you discover unexpected opportunities arriving from the unlikeliest of sources. Pleasant surprises in short.

Healing Scent – Jasmine

Cancer

Your toughest moments to overcome could be regarding another person who’s behaviour or attitude may insult or anger you. Choose your words carefully while communicating with this soul. Aim for peace. Your happiest moments could come when you discover that you have achieved one of your cherished dreams or have gained success in some project or endeavour.

Healing Scent : Lemon

Leo

Worrying is not the solution to your money matters. And you know it. You could find yourself getting more stressed out than necessary. Instead of worrying the cards ask you to take immediate action and execute all the promises you’ve made to yourself. Happiness will come your way when you find yourself listening to your heart and doing something you love.

Healing Scent: Rose

Virgo

Choices choices, making them is hard. But sometimes we all have to. A tough choice may be presented to you, or you may find yourself at a crossroad. Don’t get daunted, get brave. Take a deep breath and take the leap. Peace is yours for the asking after you realise a disappointment or let down was actually a blessing in disguise in the long run.

Healing Scent : Neroli

Libra

Politics is everywhere, and you may have to face your fair share of gossip and hypocrisy be it in the workplace or in the family. Drop down to their level and you may feel drained, close yourself off completely and you may miss a warning sign or two. The key to managing the months ahead is with a sense of balance and moderation. Know when to listen and speak, and know when to back off. A young child will be a source of soul stirring joy for you in 2010.

Healing Scent – Pine

Scorpio

At the end of the day we are all responsible for the choices we have taken and the road ahead of us. Even if we make mistakes, maturity requires we learn from our errors and see where we can change and grow. One of the challenges ahead of Scorpios lies in the card of blame and responsibility, and learning the difference between the two. Peace and relief will come to you in 2010 when you discover a nagging complaint is over and done with.

Healing Scent – Peppermint

Saggitarius

Anger is good if it’s channeled in a peaceful manner. Keeping the anger within may lead to some uncomfortable explosions in 2010 for you and your loved ones. Repression is one of your biggest challenges ahead and the more you suppress your feelings the more they will revolt and surprise you. Before the explosions begin learn to let go of the anger nonviolently. Start meditation or exercise and discover a greater sense of wellbeing. Pleasant surprises are in store for you in the financial sphere.

Healing Scent – Cinammon

Capricon

Do you doubt your abilities at times? If you continue to compare and not learn to accept and appreciate yourself 2010 may bring quite a few lessons in your way, nudging you in to learning to trust yourself at all time. Be your own best friend in the worst of moments. And the best of moments in 2010 has to do with soul connections of a deep, endearing kind. Singles may meet their soulmates and married Capricornians may meet a kindred spirit.

Healing Scent – Geranium

Aquarius

Expect a busy year which is good if you remember to listen to the signals your body is giving you. Avoid overdoing things especially if you know it’s not good for you. Overwork or overeating may rub off on your health so make sure you get plenty of rest and recreation between your busy periods. Joy comes to you in the form of a celebration, engagement, marriage, promotion, you name it.

Healing Scent – Lavender

Pisces

You may be forced to let something go in 2010. It could be a job, a relationship or an attitude that’s served no purpose. Goodbyes can be painful but sometimes it may be for our own highest good. Peace comes to Pisceans when they discover one of their gut feelings came true. Trust your instincts.

Healing Scent – Lemongrass