Have you wondered why Oprah Winfrey’s talk show is still the most popular talk show in TV? Or why is Madonna still a very sought after pop singer after more than two decades? Well, the answers lie not only on the talents possessed by these individuals but something beyond that. These personalities have ‘branded’ themselves well and they make efforts to consciously do or refrain from doing things that affect their brand image.

We all know that business is becoming more and more competitive. There are numerous others who seem to be offering the same stuff that you do. Whether you are a senior executive, the president of your own company, or a worker at a small organization, you need to stand out from myriad others so that you can be in control of your business or career.

Personal branding is a powerful way of communicating and clarifying the unique promise of value that you have to offer your boss or your clients.  Management guru Tom Peters in book The Brand You 50 states: “Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding: we are the CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc.”

In this article, I will take you through 6 P’s in helping you to make your own personal brand alive:

1.    Personal

Like any other good marketing plan, you must begin by understanding your true self. Remember you are an original – there is no one else quite like you.  What do you stand for? What are your beliefs? Jot down a few phrases that describe your unique value, vision, purpose and passion. Take some time to discover your strengths, weaknesses and hidden talents. Ask yourself what impacts you the most and what drives you.

2.    Perception
It is imperative that you must be aware of how you are communicating yourself to those around you. In this area, you will need to know your attributes and how others perceive you as an individual. Develop a focus group comprising of close friends, colleagues and family members to ask, collate responses and consolidate their perceptions about you. For example, are you seen as reliable, trustworthy or adventurous with a natural instinct for business?

3.    Position

You must know your target audience, business or job competitors.  How can you stand out unless you know whom you are standing among? When people see your name or face consistently over a period of time they assume that you have something special and that you must be successful. Having your own brand keeps you visible within your marketplace as it sends out a clear message about you that makes you worth contacting.

4.    Performance

Establish yourself as an expert in your field because expertise can bring you increased recognition and therefore you can position yourself well in the hearts and minds of your target audience. Get good testimonials from your satisfied customers and for employees, create outstanding portfolios of your past accomplishments. Create a personal mission statement and tagline. Do seek out new and challenging assignments that will build your brand. Write articles to showcase your knowledge and get them published, or better, give speeches or presentations to share your expertise and your past achievements.

5.    Promoting

You can have an amazing brand, but if no one knows about it, you are not going ahead. Nothing in marketing is more powerful than a promotion tool called word of mouth. What your network of friends, colleagues, clients and customers say about your brand is what the market will ultimately gauge as the value of the brand. If you do not have a personal website, now is the time to buy a domain (such as myname.com) and the let the world know. Take your personal image seriously because your appearance is the packaging of your own brand. Remember, YOU are the product and your packaging will either attract or detract from your product.

6.    Planning

Make an appointment with yourself at least twice a year to re-evaluate your personal brand statement. Also, obtain honest and helpful feedback from your focus group on your brand performance, value and growth.

Have you ever walk into a business establishment where the host, salesperson or customer service provider makes you feel so special that you love going back, even though you could have gotten a better deal elsewhere? The difference is more than the product, services, quality, price, terms, availability or delivery dates. It is the charisma, personality, manner, charm & presentation of these people.

The chemistry & actions of people can either repel or attract you to do business with them. All of us have to do some form of selling in every area of our life, whether we are aware of it or not. The principle of charisma, charm & a positive personality is contagious, & it attracts people to you like a magnet at work & at home.

Self- confidence
When you feel self-confident, you naturally carry with you a level of charisma & charm to the forefront. To get self-confidence going for you every morning, start with dressing for the part you want. If you are leaving for work, dressing up professionally not only makes you look good & feel great, you are more apt to conduct & present yourself in a professional manner. Chances are when you feel good about yourself; you will do your best & hence be more confident.

Focus
Maintain your focus & refuse to allow yourself to be distracted by issues other than the task at hand. This is crucial especially when you want to actively listen to your partner, your prospects’ challenges, needs & objectives. For instance, when speaking to your clients over the telephone, do not read your emails at the same time. Active listening requires your full & uninterrupted attention. Remember you are not in a meeting to give a sales pitch, but to help your customers solve their problems or achieve their objective, & you cannot do so until you know what it is. So give them your undivided attention.

Interest & Attitude
So what makes people attracted to you? Psychologists have researched & explore many factors for years, including physical qualities, cooperativeness, intelligence & many others. One strong finding is that people are attracted to you when you share the same attitude about life, such as parenting, work ethics, values & philosophy, relationships, welfare, legislation, even movies, smoking & drinking. It affirms a person’s ability to be sensible, to interpret the world correctly, and to make good predictions about the future. Another reason is people naturally assume that those who share similar interest and attitude will like them, which in turn make them like you. So if you want to be favorably received, see if you can look deeper & find where you agree rather than disagree. Everyone prefers to hear that ‘you are right’ rather than ‘you are wrong’.

Sex appeal
Another interesting fundamental is sex appeal which adds flair to your personality. Even if you are a warm, interesting & approachable person, your interactions with others can be flat if you don’t show at least a little sex appeal. Sex appeal goes beyond sexuality. It’s different from the sheer physical attributes of showing skin or flaunting your body. It is a sign of openness to engage others by becoming interested in what they do & how they think & feel. It is a healthy & natural part of yourself that you display, in all settings; whether it’s business, social or romantic. The process is the way you show your appeal, through your appreciation & attraction to others with your sense of physical confidence.
Even supermodels can lack appeal if they lack interest in others & are unresponsive.

Responding to others
“People do not want to be sold a product or service. They want to deal with people who they think have their interest or who care about them.
- J. Oliver Crom, CEO, Dale Carnegie

Showing people, however subtly that you find them unique & interesting makes them feel good about themselves, and thus they feel good about you. Giving them your full attention is a good way of building rapport & creating a momentary exclusive world of ‘you & me’. Some easy ways to show attraction is through eye contact, a warm handshake and displaying special interest & appreciation in others.

Reaching out
Another way of showing attraction or interest is with touch. Subtle touches are good if you are careful & sensitive about the norms as to what is appropriate and comfortable to most people. People generally like to be touched likely even in nonromantic settings. A gentle, light & sincere touch somewhere between the shoulder and hand such as the elbow area can have a powerful positive impact on your feeling about that person even when he or she is a stranger. When meeting someone the first time, you can touch others casually as a gesture to get their attention, or to direct their attention somewhere else. The message usually is: I like you & I am a warm person. However, we need to exercise caution that going overboard may make others feel uncomfortable resulting in an adverse effect.

Be comfortable in your own skin
Your self-image & how you feel about yourself shows in how you carry yourself, your posture and your gait. The way you exhibit your body emotion is contagious much like a smile or a yawn. You can hear your own voice but you can’t see your own mannerisms and body the way others can. Hence you need to be conscious of your physical presence and the way you hold yourself. Even though you may not have control over your physical attributes, your physical presentation, your body movement & body language are noticed by other people which you may not be aware. Avoid displaced energy such as fidgeting and nervous movements. Being comfortable with who you are with confidence is how you want to be perceived. When you embrace your body & dress appropriately for the occasion, you will feel attractive and tend to present yourself positively. In turn others will feel good in your presence & thus find you more attractive.

Article contributed by Betty Kan, a Singapore based trainer and personal branding consultant.

Little did I realize then that I was hooked on to being different and yet being the same all the time.

Does that confuse you?

Let me explain. When I stuck my head inside me like an ostrich, whoa, I found a person – confused, desiring to be someone else, someone who was slim, svelte, spoke very well, oozing confidence, knew what to talk, spoke so knowledgeably that I silently gawped. So I plunged headlong and imitated, spoke like “Her’ adopted her values and attitudes. Headily I watched myself transforming into a miniature ‘She’.

I even had an invisible crown perched perkily on my head thinking here I was perfect and had arrived.

When suddenly I found I was all alone, isolated and bored.

What went wrong? Back into my vena cava I found my arteries pumping blood for nothing because it was not for Me.

So I took stock and found much to my surprise that I was not listening to Me!

There she was this young girl wanting, waiting, willing to talk and no one to listen.

I sat down, closed my eyes and shut my mouth and began to listen to Her.

Here is a replica of what I heard and listened to:

She told me how I was a beautiful person, until I started wearing a mask — especially for some else and some body else’s.

She told me that every one was different and special in their own ways, asking me to be gentle with myself and wanting me to focus on my good points. She urged me to reveal this face to the world. Be bold! She nudged.

She said go out listen to nature! Stay in contact with her and she will never cease to amaze you, she will reflect all your beauty which no one else can.

Do not believe all that you see or read in the newspaper! You are good enough!

If you can say ‘No’ to the aggressor without inflicting pain on the other, you are a woman my friend!

Don’t believe that every problem has only one solution – life is far too varied to stop at one.

Set your own value system, make the noblest thoughts you have, embody your life as you live it.

Cut out all the dross in your life and focus on what will survive even death.

Respect yourself and others will have no choice but to go along with you.

Show your human side to others else you can run the risk of seeming invulnerable  and end up making others inadequate, and making yourself seem so sufficient that they assume you would never need any help.

Send out good vibrations to all you meet, you will engender similar feelings. Imagine a circle of fabulous fragrance wherever you go.

Finally trust! Believe that what you are doing is right for you. Seek his Grace in all your actions.

Sure enough you will find yourself unleashed and raring to go.

Come open your eyes gently, smile at the world and embrace all who live in it for you are all that you have.

Knowing what does not work for you is a powerful tool for creating more of what does work for you. Measuring positive feelings against negative feelings is one of the constructive ways to use comparison, and it’s a great way to tune into our deeper truth.

Write down 10 things that creep you out, turn you off, or drive you nuts. Then ask yourself why it bugs you? Is it a past association, an unexamined story that you’ve been telling yourself, an indicator of your truest values?

(My list goes something like: people who walk in without knocking, lack of gratitude, airy fairy types, wood paneling, relentless sarcasm as a barrier to intimacy, red  and black as a clothing colour combo, when people call and say, “Can you call me back?” without leaving more of an explanation. Long winded explanations.

When I look at the first cut of my peeve list it has a lot to do with standards of respect and privacy. My values. And wood paneling reminds me of a childhood home that I swear was haunted.)

Is there anything on your list that’s taking up too much space in your life, or…could be re-assessed and maybe even embraced by you?

Contrast is an excellent teacher.

Whether you’re confused or highly particular, curiosity is a form of power. Use it.

What are you attracted to? Make a list.
Here’s mine. I’m attracted to, intrigued by, enamored with…

1. Pure rose oil, that’s so pure it’s peppery.
2. Kids.
3. People who are comfortable in silence.
4. Convents.
5. Old Egypt.
6. Word economy – saying a lot with a little.
7. Inquisitiveness!!!
8. People who are confrontational.
9. Old African men who smile with their eyes.
10. Scars.
11. Innovation.
12. Alleys.
13. Musicians who have never worked a day in their life.
14. Wealthy, self-made entrepreneurs who aren’t excessive.
15. Philanthropists.
16. The seering brilliance and heart of the TED talks.
17. Filthy at the end of the day construction workers.
18. Rothko paintings.
19. Elvis in 1969.
20. The greeny turquoise with brown flecks.
21. Cosmology.
22. Nests.
24. Gold. Can’t get too much gold.
25. Great teeth.
26. Text art.

What’s on your magnetism list? Now ask yourself what’s so interesting, or soothing, or sexy about the things that you gravitate towards. Go with the first thing that enters your mind, no matter how silly or grandiose it may seem.

I can see a pattern in my attractions: mystery, hard work, glamor, sacred devotion, currency, artistry. Sounds like the essential ingredients to the masterpiece I want to create, or my everyday my ideal life.

Being aware of not only what we are attracted to, but why we’re attracted to it, gives us access to the most tender and creative places within ourselves. If you put your finger on the magnetism, you can attract more of what you want into your life.

What usually happens is a few days after trying, we actually feel liberated from the confines of the old habit. But just before the smile turns to smugness, a little test is tossed on our path to see if we have truly learnt.

For me, these cosmic-generated tests are regular occurrences. Sometimes I pass them and sometimes I fail miserably.

I have learnt that simply because I make a fervent promise never to be impatient again does not mean my words have the power to dissolve the impulse to lose my temper. Tests will appear before me in the form of a chatty cashier and her mobile phone in the supermarket, oblivious to the long queue or my toddler who is mastering the fine art of selective listening or others who will slowly tweak my resolve till I am tempted to say or do something out of impatience.

These tests do not appear as some form of cosmic mockery but are a self-generated indicator that more inner work needs to be done for our rewards as souls in human forms. We have chosen the human form to learn lessons and certain experiences will be repeated until we learn at the deepest level of our consciousness.

Some lessons are rooted in karmic patterns inherited from previous lives. Some lessons are meant to extinguish ordinary personality traits like impatience or procrastination, but at the end of the day a lesson is a lesson. And even after making a resolve, we need to face a few challenging tests to see if we are willing to sweat for the reward. If you give up soon after promising to change, the tests will keep coming back. Persist and someday, someone may present you with a badge in the shape of a star.

Do you have any habit you’re struggling to break? Why not take a few minutes to ponder on what is causing you to break your resolve? Did you quit the diet? Did you return to smoking when the pressure got too much? Or gave up cleaning out your papers halfway through the exercise? I suggest taking things slowly and setting goals that are achievable. Try saying, “For the next one hour I will be patient,” and when you catch yourself getting impatient again, repeat the affirmation. Do this for several days until you begin to see some positive results.

However, if we are talking a majority of the time, there are practices we can do to shift the balance toward listening more. The first thing is to notice ourselves talking and not listening. With this awareness, a number of options become possible. First of all, we now have the choice to decide to stop talking. There are many ways to accomplish this. We can ask questions such as:

“What are your views?”

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m interested in your thoughts on the matter. Please say more.”

There are additional ways for passing conversations over to others as well. Smiling or nodding encourages others to talk. A simple statement like, “I have been doing most of the talking; I’ll stop now and listen.” Is a direct invitation for others to speak. The possibilities for gracefully shifting from speaking to listening are limitless. Make up any that you feel comfortable with and practice using them.

Become a skilful listener starts first with the intention to talk less and listen more. Learning to stop talking so much and to listen is a powerful step in loving ourselves and other people. In a world full of talkers, a skillful listener shines like the Hope Diamond.

Remember that we have two ears and only one mouth. So we are meant to listen twice as much as we talk!

Practice for the next few days. Identify someone with who you often do most of the talking. Now get really interested in them. Try to swing the balance toward them talking more.

Many times as we’re listening to another person, the things they say will emotionally activate us in some way. Their words may trigger excitement, sadness, fear or some other strong feelings in us. Such feelings can generate an uncontrollable impulse to speak, to override what the other person is saying in order to relieve our own internal pressure. This is an impulse that’s important to limit on the road to becoming a more skilful listener.

When we cut people off in mid-sentence or interrupt by finishing their thoughts out loud for them, we’re being disrespectful, and we could be harming our health! Dr. Paul Pearsall, the author of The Last Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need, wrote, “Stop expressing, representing, and asserting yourself. Shut up and listen. Research shows that people who interrupt are three times more likely to die of a heart attack than those who don’t, and that (relationships) usually fail because of too much communication, not too little.”

When we interrupt, the message we send to the speaker is, “What I have to say is more important that what you have to say. It’s so important that I can’t contain myself enough to let you finish.” By learning to hold our tongue in daily interactions with people, and becoming genuinely curious about what others are saying, we greatly improve our listening skills and possibly our health.

I’ve seen that not only do masterful listeners not interrupt, they are in no hurry to speak even after the other has finished speaking! This gives people time to reflect and sometimes they find the have more to say. They feel that the other is really listening and their words now come from a deeper part of themselves. This spaciousness in conversation shows respect and interest in the other’s story and is a great gift we can give each other.

Practice for the next few days. Pay attention to how frequently you and other people interrupt one another in everyday communication. Take steps to reduce your own pattern of interrupting others. Try counting to ten in your mind after the person has finished speaking before adding your own comments. You might be surprised at how restraining the impulse to interrupt and speak helps deepen the connection.

In our world today, it seems that one thing that is fully certain is change.  The speed of transformation that our business world is seeing – the rapid growth of technology, the ever changing needs of consumers, the needs of our families, the continued demands of our bosses and competitors, and the unending wish lists of our valued customers – does confirm that change is critical.

Many of us have the habit of resisting change. If at all possible we would rather avoid or pass on any change and maintain the status quo. There are some who are always looking for a change in the way their home or office is set up or in the way they conduct themselves. However, most people prefer being “settled” and feel uncomfortable at the thought of change.

In the days ahead, with the accelerated ecological imbalance that humanity has created in our environment, there is a definite pending change in the universe. One small example of such is that Delhi marked December 2008 as its warmest winter since 1953. The many reports of climate changes, the erosion of forests and lack of rainfall is a sad change that we are inviting upon ourselves.

Recently I met a senior level bank manager from Andhra Bank. The manager was explaining how difficult it is to get the staff members within the public sector in India to change and move on with the new demands of our time. The competition from the private sector is ruthless, but some public sector employees still remain relaxed and reluctant to make any positive progress or change at all.

Because change is inevitable, it is best to prepare for it. Change can be a painful process at times. It requires saying goodbye to old processes and adapting to the new, which at times may be strange. A principle and attitude to adopt in times like these: Let us change for the better. Be it in the way a job is done, be it in relating to family members, be it driving or communication, be it in one’s view of other, or whatever may be the case. Let us change for the better.

The major two categories in which change occurs or must occur are:

1)    Inner personal life

2)    Work / Home / Business life

A fine example of the change that occurs in our personal lives is given by nature in the emergence of butterfly from the cocoon.

Metamorphosis of the adult butterfly is a beautiful example. As we studied in our school days, there is a four-stage process that produces an adult butterfly.

A) Egg: Female butterflies lay their eggs on plants to enable the newborn caterpillar (later stage) to get food from plants’ leaves.

B) Larva: Also called caterpillar. It emerges from the egg after a few days. The caterpillar spends most of its time eating.

C) Pupa: The caterpillar forms a protection shield called a pupa when it has finished growing. Most of the transformation takes place inside the pupa.

D) Butterfly: When the pupa has finished transformation, the butterfly emerges from the pupa. The adult butterfly lays eggs on plants after its mating period, and the circle repeats.

In our personal lives we should look for change, a change for the better. Through the ‘egg, larva, pupa’ stages we must wait to become the beautiful butterfly in our character and in our being. Not only does this change become a showpiece to others, but becoming beautiful in our inner selves becomes a great benefit which only we will know.

Second, in professional life, statistics indicate the amount of stress a change brings in one’s life. For instance, a person’s stress increases by 35% during the move from one house to another. Stress increases 55% during a job change; 60% when a child is born. Although the percentage differs from person to person, the issue of change and its effect on every person is significant.

The best policy is to be ready for change. Welcome it when it comes. If we build a ‘least resistance policy’ to change, which in any case is inevitable, we will eradicate undue stress and increase our ability to cope as we adapt to any system or process tactically.

–

Sam Paul is the Chief Information Officer of OM India (a reputed NGO) and a human Rights activist for the past two decades. He is currently a research student of Acharya Nagarjuna Ranga University in Andhra Pradesh.