Past life regression therapy attempts to put this search for a perfect therapy to a logical end. It attempts to strike at the root of an issue, at the level of the soul. That is why this therapy is also known as the ‘soul therapy’. It works on the premise that we are eternal beings. We have lived before and we will live again. As eternal beings, we carry all our thoughts, impressions, emotions, and feelings from time immemorial into our present being. Hence, most of our so-called ills have their roots in some of these thoughts, impressions, feelings, and emotions. To understand our problems, we need to first understand their root cause.

We have all heard of the law of cause and effect. It can be beautifully summed up in the phrase ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’. The cause is always in the past, the effect is in the present. Science says that every action produces an equal and opposite reaction. This scientific law is in complete sync with the law of cause and effect. When we see an undesired effect in our present life, we somehow want to get rid of it. But the laws of the universe are infallible. Try as hard as we can, we cannot seem to get rid of these ‘effects’. The solution lies in ‘understanding’ the ‘cause’, then and only then can we break free from this cycle.

This is where past life regression therapy comes to our rescue. Under a scientifically proven and safe procedure the therapist takes you on an un-chartered journey of self-discovery. You re-live memories of past lives where the root cause of your present day problem lies. Your soul draws the parallels between your past life experience and your current life patterns. Things become clear in your mind and new understanding dawns. You realize that you yourself are responsible for all your so-called problems. Armed with this new understanding, you also realize that the solution to your problem lies within yourself as well. In fact it becomes crystal clear to you. You start looking at life, situations, circumstances, and people with new eyes. You undergo a metamorphosis. The purpose of your life becomes clear to you and you embark upon the rest of your present life journey with confidence and élan.

Can any other therapy on earth make such tall claims? Past life regression therapy is the therapy of the 21st century. It not only helps cure diseases, resolve relationship issues, and brings in clarity; but also helps us grow spiritually. We get answers to eternal questions like, ‘Who am I?’, ‘Am I just a physical body, or is there something more to me?’, ‘What is the purpose of my life?’, ‘What is death?’, ‘How can I fulfill my destiny?’ etc. In fact this therapy is a short route to enlightenment. Since this therapy makes you ‘experience’ your TRUTH, you can not be easily dissuaded from that.

Fortunately leading scientists of the world are taking this branch of science seriously and giving it all the time, energy, and deliberation that it deserves. Dr. Brian Weiss, MD of the USA, and Dr. Newton, MD of India are the pioneers in this field. Besides them thousands of therapists are working in this path-breaking field. At this present time on earth, this therapy is the need of the hour.

Benefits of past life regression

•    Past life regression helps to heal chronic diseases. It helps the individuals to understand the karmic patterns involved in illness, and the resultant energy blockages. The understanding that flows during a session clears the energy blockages; thereby healing the dis-ease. Take for example a person who had a past life in which s/he was not allowed to express his/her views or had to pay a heavy price for expressing them; such a person may have a disease of the throat. After re-living the concerned past life and releasing the trauma, the healing occurs.
•    Past life regression helps overcome fears and phobias, by bringing about an understanding of the specific root cause. For example, a person had claustrophobia (fear of closed spaces). He re-lived a past life in which he was buried alive in an earthquake. Once he released that trauma, he was able to overcome his fear.
•    Past life regression improves one’s inter-personal relationships by making the person understand the impact of past life relationships with those individuals. The person is able to see the larger perspective and therefore the relationships are ‘healed’.
•    Past life regression frees us from fear of death once and for all. Through exploring our past lives we realize that we are eternal beings. We have been here before and we will come back again. This understanding completely eliminates the fear of death.

Common misconceptions about past life regression therapy

•    Only the present life is relevant, past lives have no effect on the present life.

In reality, we are the products of ‘all our experiences’ carried within us from all our past lives in addition to the experiences of the present life. The past life therapy helps get rid of the negative patterns of the past which continue to affect our present life.

•    Past is past and better left alone.

Scientific research indicates that all our memories, including those of the past lives, are stored in the mind field. We carry these memories and their effects in our energy field in the present moment, and unconsciously act out of these stored beliefs and experiences. Releasing the past is an important step, and can only be undertaken once we understand it.

• The past life memories during regression are experienced due to the suggestion of the therapist.

Past life regression therapists do not give suggestions during regression. They only direct the client to seek the root cause of an issue. The client’s sub-conscious reveals the memories.

•    Past life regression therapy can be done by anyone.

It is important to be treated by someone who is trained and experienced in the field. Only an experienced practitioner whose belief system is compatible with the spiritual science of past lives should conduct regression work.

•    If we really had past lives, we would remember them.

In reality there are occasions when we do remember our past lives. This happens when:

•    We meet a person for the first time but feel that we know this person well.
•    We visit a place for the first time but feel that we have been here before.
•    We sit in deep mediation and have a past life recall.
•    Child prodigies exhibit talents and abilities that can not be explained by the circumstances or experiences of their current lives.

Finally, keep an open mind towards this therapy and try it out. You have nothing to lose; it is all about gain without pain!!!!!

Chitra Jha is a trainer of a refreshing genre. She conducts tailor-made workshop on Enlightened Living, Enlightened Healing, Enlightened Parenting, Enlightened Eating, Enlightened Death, Past Life Regression and Spiritual Science. She does one-on-one sessions and small group therapy sessions as well. Contact chitrajhaa@gmail.com.

For fear of not being accepted, we tailor our personality, mince our words, and carve our opinions to fit in. It takes courage to be real – and it takes stamina because if you want the best out of life, it will demand the best of you time and time again.

When you choose to be real, there will likely be tough choices and 11th hour changes. There will be misunderstandings, uncomfortable silences, and sometimes, there will be isolation.

When do you feel like giving up? What discourages you, or tempts you to doubt that sweetness is on the way? Now, write down three remedies for discouragement….lunch with your best friend; a visit to church; dusting off your diplomas, re-reading a love letter, swimming twenty laps; warm soup eaten in silence.

My three most regularly practiced remedies for discouragement:

1. Call Candis. She will say something so country-wise and lovely that I’ll either laugh or cry, and either is great.
2. Rose hip clay face masks, preferably Eminence. Sometimes exfoliating your face also takes the slough off your spirit.
3. Review my body of work (go back to grade school stories if I have to) and remember that I have an agent who’s waiting for me to deliver.
4. Bonus remedy: I read some Abraham Hicks. It’s the ultimate woo woo that is usually bang on my cosmic sensibilities. The basic message: you are exactly where you are supposed to be and all is well. Have fun.

Now practice just one of your remedies this week to keep your stamina strong. A little preventive soul love is mighty strong.

Knowing what does not work for you is a powerful tool for creating more of what does work for you. Measuring positive feelings against negative feelings is one of the constructive ways to use comparison, and it’s a great way to tune into our deeper truth.

Write down 10 things that creep you out, turn you off, or drive you nuts. Then ask yourself why it bugs you? Is it a past association, an unexamined story that you’ve been telling yourself, an indicator of your truest values?

(My list goes something like: people who walk in without knocking, lack of gratitude, airy fairy types, wood paneling, relentless sarcasm as a barrier to intimacy, red  and black as a clothing colour combo, when people call and say, “Can you call me back?” without leaving more of an explanation. Long winded explanations.

When I look at the first cut of my peeve list it has a lot to do with standards of respect and privacy. My values. And wood paneling reminds me of a childhood home that I swear was haunted.)

Is there anything on your list that’s taking up too much space in your life, or…could be re-assessed and maybe even embraced by you?

Contrast is an excellent teacher.

One of my best friends and I have a sick tradition. We get excited about each others’ hardship. One of us will be sniffling through an out-pour of angst about how wrenching a particular life lesson is, and isn’t it crazy how when it rains it pours with shitty news, and turmoil, and big life do-overs. You know, those excruciating disappointments and Tough Spots – the kind that require a friend to help you navigate.

Sniffle. Silence.

And then the listener on the other end of the line replies, “Holy suck factor. But, you know … I’m kinda excited for you.” And then the other one of us blows her nose and says, “Yeah, I know, it’s great.” And we’re not joking. But we laugh at that absurdity and our sheer effing moxy, and then the other person goes back to whining and processing while the listener resumes her role as the receptacle of angst out-pour.

And we believe it. We believe in the divinity of the suck factor. It’s an implicit, and lived, and affirmed understanding: that the universe trades up. That as Camus and kd lang said, “In the depth of winter I found in me there was an invincible summer.” Or as Nietzsche and Bruce Willis put it, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Or at least more expanded. And that’s very exciting. And excitement about getting to the other side is just what you need to get there.

I think a lot of us have a big story around needing sleep. I know what science says about sleep and overall wellness (“eight hours is a must”). But then, science doesn’t have quite as much to say about the chemical effects of joy or enthusiasm. Many eastern teachers believe that we are a culture that sleeps too much. Some practicing monks get by on five hours a night. Apparently Einstein slept in four hour increments to just “rest his brain.”
Rest is the Great Healer. In fact it’s the only time that the body is concentratedly repairing itself. But it’s worth considering that, under normal circumstances, perhaps we don’t need as much sleep as we’ve been lead to believe.

Happiness over matter.

One thing I know for sure about myself, is that if I’m enthusiastic, I feel fully rested on less sleep. If I’m complaining or stressed, I need more sleep, I crave it. I feel the same way now about sleeping as I did when I was five years old: I’d rather stay up because I just don’t want to miss anything. I figure there will be a lot of time to sleep when I die.
How about you?

If you are lucky, a realization springs on you somewhere along the way that there must be more to life. So you start on your quest for the meaning of life, not knowing if and when you will find it. If you are luckier still, you are given a second life to live, and boy do you make it count!

I’m one of those lucky few.

In my first life, I donned my pauper rags and blindly followed the crowd, arms stretched out, begging for handouts, watching as life passed me by. I think that for many, being diagnosed with cancer would seem a death sentence. For me, I was already dead on the inside, thus the notice was welcome. But I discovered, while getting closely acquainted with my own mortality, that an indomitable human spirit lived within me. And the essence of my being shouted out at me, “I want to live!” So I discarded my rags in favour of silk robes and thus was given a new life.

Here is the first lesson my inner spirit taught me

Cancer can be an inhibitor or a catalyst to living your greatest life. Cancer was how I have become closely acquainted with my inner spirit, it was the catalyst that taught me my life lessons. Lessons that while I stumble, fumble and stutter along this path, I will take along. Too often, we cling to our old rags, behaving like paupers, when the opulence of silk robes are but a hair’s-breadth away.

It’s about the Attitude

Learn to develop an attitude of gratitude. I took what I had for granted. I mistook privileges for entitlements and opportunities for rights. I’ve learnt to keep a Gratitude Journal in which I list even the smallest thing for which I am grateful to have in my life. Start out small, by listing the little things you take for granted and often overlook. You will be amazed at how much we actually have and take for granted every day. You might be left in awe of all that you do have and it becomes harder and harder to don those rags again.

Laugh more and for longer

Can you remember the last time you truly laughed? Was it as a child, giggling at a funny face your dad had made? Laughter has a way of naturally bubbling up to the surface. Too often, we’ve been conditioned to think that laughing is silly when, to succeed, we need to be serious. Thus, you suppress the natural spring of laughter until pretty soon, the spring runs dry as you forget how to laugh altogether.
Take time to look at the world through the eyes of a child, let there be wonderment and laughter. Personally, I’ve learnt that laughter is the elixir to a happy life.

Celebrate

Be part of the joy of life. Celebrate your successes and achievements. Learn to recognize those moments when you feel as if you were floating on a cloud and celebrate them. Believe that every day in every way you do something extraordinary. And don’t take that fact for granted. I never felt that I was worthy of applause, thus I never celebrated any success or achievement. After all, there was always a higher goal to aim for. I was my own inhibitor to joy.
I’ve learnt that celebration is a lovely affirmation of who you are, your unique contribution and achievements. Celebrating pays homage to the fact that you are special and that you have the right to celebrate and applaud your achievements.

One moment

Seen in its entirety, life can seem very long. Yet, when I suddenly realized that my long life expectancy might be considerably shortened, I jumped into action. I ran hither and thither, trying to live my dreams, face my fears and fulfill my responsibilities. This left me feeling exhausted and I was no closer to living my greatest life.
I’ve learnt about focus since then. We have only one moment, we experience only one moment at a time, so why not live in that moment. Set your goals, and then follow the course you have mapped out for yourself, one moment at a time.Through focus I have the feeling of finally experiencing life instead of standing along the sidelines watching it zoom by.

Be kind to yourself

I had observed that my mind was a runaway train of negative chatter, chug, chug, chugging along, churning even more noise. And I decided to apply the brakes. A feat easier said than done, so I decided instead, to start by being kind to myself. And in this way, turn the volume of the deafening noise down to a low hum. Eventually, I know that I will succeed at silencing that accusing, blaming, self-reproaching voice.
I know now that the key to positive self-talk lies in being kind to me. If I want to make the turnaround, I need to be kinder to myself. I forgive myself easily now. I remember that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. It is not expected that I be perfect nor is it expected that I live a perfect life. How would I gain the knowledge of how to live my greatest life, if not through the experience of living life itself?

These are the lessons my inner being has taught me. Use it or toss it. Today, at this very moment, I stumble, fumble and stutter my way through life, donned in the finest silk robes, rich beyond my wildest imaginings, living my human experience.

In today’s fast paced life we all seek peace and happiness. We set material goals and work toward achieving them. But, in doing so, we often neglect the call of our soul and as a result we are lonely, even among our friends or family. Why then, does everyone talks about this ME time? If we are so lonely, then why do we need “Me time”?

To me, “Me time” is time for self, when we are not lonely but are in solitude. As some wise man once said, “Loneliness kills but solitude vivifies.” Quiet time alone renews us and helps restore our life balance. Finding a little solitude in everyday life can improve energy levels and self confidence and helps to generate a happy and positive attitude toward life.

The difference between solitude and loneliness is very simple….when you are comfortable with yourself, with your silences and your fears and are ready to face them, then you cross the line from loneliness and enter solitude. Now you are ready to have an honest conversation with yourself. You cannot build up a character in a solitude; you need a defined character to appreciate solitude.

We live this life connected to the outside world and very often, we are disconnected from our own inner world. Too much time is spent chasing material things. We pursue dreams, money and passion in the hope that they will bring us peace. We are so determined to feed our bodies with possessions that we forget to nourish our souls and slowly the emptiness within starts to show on the outside. Feelings of depression and sadness begin to wash over us. When we forget to address our inner needs, emotional cracks begin to show.

We should pamper our souls the same way we pamper our bodies.

In solitude we begin an honest conversation with ourselves. We start to befriend ourselves and look into the mirror to confront and embrace our true selves. When we start accepting ourselves for what we are at that point in time, and are ready to grow, then we are able to make that transition from loneliness to solitude. We fall in love with ourselves. Yes we do and when we look back and admit to all our faults and pat ourselves for our achievements, we see our true character. We can then start a new relationship with ourselves and those close to us.

The courage to go within comes from life and living life to its full potential. It comes from exploring every opportunity life gives you and learning from your failures and victories. Your true personality is formed when you go through pain and difficulties and the way in which you handle them. Solitude is like shady trees planted on path of life, where you take refuge when your soul is tired. Ever so often you should stop a while and rest. In the words of Pearl S Buck, “Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that’s where I renew my springs that never dry up.”

Recently I met a woman whose fiancé decided to break off the engagement after 2 years of courtship. Shocked by his decision and deeply angered about another woman who had taken her place, she was determined to find her answers with the help of a tarot reading.

Her first question to me was, “How can I heal from heartbreak?” I winced a little more as over the years I had realized that some forms of grief must be experienced and there was no magic pill that would take away her pain. Healing would take time and she would need to be patient.

Her cards revealed a time for absolute self honesty. For a start, it would help to admit feelings of hurt to herself. Hiding behind feelings of anger or calling him repeatedly and demanding explanations was simply aggravating the situation. What would help would be time out for herself, to cry and process the grief.

Further cards indicated a time of confusion, blame and resentment but it would pass. She wanted to know how much time would be needed to go through the period of uncertainty and intense hurt she had bottled up inside. My response was, “As long as it needs.”

Different people respond to heartbreak differently. Some move on after a few weeks, others hold on to the pain for weeks, months and years. Clearly what was required was a willingness to go through this painful process, one day at a time with the knowledge that one day she would wake up and realize that the hurt no longer exists. Patience reveals her lessons in different ways and she would need to accept whatever happened and allow the heartbreak to run its course.

She began to cry again and we sat together in silence. (Her tears would flow repeatedly over the following weeks but somewhere she was learning that heartbreak is a part of growing up).

Her final question was to find out if she would meet someone else. As I laid out the spread, the cards revealed a fresh start with another young man who would shower her with love and affection. The cards also showed she would be enjoying a great deal of success in her job. Her tears didn’t stop at that point but there was a glimmer of a smile. Hopefully I prayed silently, she has found a reason to allow herself to heal and move on.

Her story is not a rare one. All of us have faced heartbreak at some point in time in our lives and though there is no perfect way to heal the pain, here are a few suggestions which might help:

1) Ultimately we all have to move on from the ending of a painful relationship. And it’s different for all of us. Some of us heal faster and some take time. Be patient with yourself if you’ve just broken up, and if a friend of yours is recovering, be patient with him or her.

2) Don’t start thinking about about being friends with your ex lover immediately. Your first relationship has to be one with yourself. Be your own best friend, pick up the pieces and slowly build back your sense of self.

3) Express your pain and anger. Bottling it up only makes it worse; talk to loved ones or a counsellor and simply let it out. Crying helps with this release.

4) Learn to trust again. All relationships involve risks and the expression of free will. Don’t let one bad experience make you believe all men/women will hurt you again.

5) Work on building back your self esteem. Surround yourself by people who love and appreciate you.

6) Rose quartz, rose incense and Himalayan salt lamps are excellent soothers and can aid in the process of healing.

I’ve never been through pregnancy depression like Christina, I don’t think I’ve ever been “clinically” depressed.  Well, maybe I have, but it certainly didn’t feel clinical. It felt morbid, cosmic, and unavoidably essential. When I was thirteen, my parents split for the umpteenth and final time and a few months later, my dad brought it to my attention that I’d been wearing the same hockey jersey for weeks and that I needed to start doing the dishes again. I was definitely depressed.

And there was the dark night after Magic Man flew back to London and the apartment felt like a keyless heartbreak hotel with barred windows. But my last extended dark night was about ten years ago. It was a new depth of crushing aloneness. Another break up, this time with Hot-but-Needy Actor Man in LA (I was equally needy) which triggered an exorcism of self doubt and psychic bile that, being thirty-something and ambitious, I just needed to get out of my system. (Note that it’s often not the actual loss that causes the depression – it’s all the crap that’s tied up in it that you needed to deal with anyway).

In that spell of depression I wore the same pair of butt-ripped Levi’s for weeks. I would lie in my backyard at two in the morning in nowhere New Mexico, smoking Marlboro’s, looking up at the stars, wondering about the fatality of scorpion bites, and praying for aliens to abduct me. (Not joking in any way). I cried every single day, sometimes twice a day, for weeks. I felt profoundly unheard….empty. As I’d fall asleep I felt as though chunks of my being were decomposing into the bed. It was a brutal ordeal of the psyche, but I knew I was being reborn. I did have faith that whatever new face was emerging, she would eventually smile back at me.

I learned a thousand subtle and mighty things about Life from those existential passages, but what I learned about depression itself is that, the more you resist it, the longer it lasts.

When depressed, I find it’s best to just be…depressed.

Happiness returns more quickly when you give yourself permission to be blue or any shade of black you need to be.

I understand that for some people, depression can be so severe as to be life threatening. It can grip a soul for decades. The kind of depression I’m addressing here falls somewhere within the category of disparaging life passages to profound melancholy, which is to say, likely manageable without drugs and positively surmountable. But I will go on record to say that, while I think medication for depression can be a viable option to break a cycle and regain one’s footing, I think we’re a culture overly prone to numbing out. And in doing so, we not only deny our own power, we carry our demons with us far longer than we have to.

How To Be Depressed So That Happiness Has a Better Chance of Returning — Sooner Rather Than Later

1. Give yourself full permission to be pathetic for a short period of time. In fact, relish the pathetic-ness. Enthusiastically wallow in self pity. If people let themselves have downer days more often, there might be fewer heart attacks and road rage. Being a total loser for a morning or a weekend isn’t the slippery slope to despair. It’s a direct route to what your emotions are trying to tell you: feel, heal, know thyself. And move on, more empowered than before.

2. Watch or read something depressing. Rent a some heart wrenching documentaries like, God Grew Tired of Us or War Dance and ball your eyes out. Chances are that your life will be looking pretty damn good in comparison.

3. Be incredibly, sublimely gentle with yourself, like you might be with a child or dear friend whom you deeply adore.

4. If someone who loves you asks how you are, admit to being blue. When a girl friend calls, let her know that it’s a dog day afternoon and that you’re happily in despair.

5. When the novelty of being depressed is starting to wear off, shake your arms above your head like you’re being saved by the Almighty Holy Spirit itself, turn on some loud opera music, and shout, “I’m depressed! I’m sooo depressed!” It is almost guaranteed that you will start laughing smirky giggles to deep belly laughs and you will decide to listen to the rhythm of your blues and keep on walking – more empowered than before.

6. Break your happiness fast with a treat. Write a kind note to yourself about how brave you are for being still in the dark, for standing down a monster or two. Dress up even if you work from home. Bring a plant to work and water it. Freshen up. And give yourself full permission to just be …. deeply happy.

As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken.

A “heart to heart hug” is when you put your left arm over someone’s shoulder and your right arm around their waist.

As they do the same to you, your hearts become aligned with one another and loving, comforting energy flows between the two of you to flood your being with feelings of love, caring, and compassion.

A hug is a pleasurable way to share your feelings with someone who is important to you.

Depending on your relationship with the other person and the kind of message you wish to send to them, a hug can communicate love, friendship, romance, congratulations, support, greeting, and any other sentiment you wish to convey.

A hug communicates to others that you are there for them in a positive way.

In an instant, a hug can reestablish a bond between long lost friends and comfort those in pain.

The next time you hug someone, focus all of your energy into the embrace.

You will create a profound connection that infuses your feelings and sentiments into a single beautiful gesture of pure love.

Peace and hugs to you.

Recognize any/all of those symptoms?
There you are…you are having a bad day on hand.

That’s how, some times, days that are not so good, happen and things get to happen in rapid succession too in the so-called “domino effect” way.
At the end of the day one feels stressed and burst out.
Wondering why did it all happen?
There is a loss of appetite too at times.
Then insomnia follows.

That is indeed a bad day.
Happens once in a while to the best of us.

Now, how does one get over it, quickly, by putting it behind as past and move on!

I have been through such days myself several times.
For no fault of mine things go wrong one after the other.

With experience behind me now, I know how to recognize one immediately, after the onset of the domino effect.
As soon as I notice the onset, here is what I resort to.

1) I alert myself and recognize that it is indeed on hand, a possible bad day!
2) I make up my mind that I won’t be snappy at all, come what may.
3) I am extra polite and courteous on that day, and smile consciously too as many times as I can.
4) I put off as much of written work as is possible.
4) I take frequent breaks to take some deep breaths.
5) I make it a point to call/meet some good old friends during the course of the day to detract my mind.
6) I call off meetings as far as possible.
7) I walk back home.

Once I am back at home the stress factor definitely sets in.
I know for sure I have been through a bad day.
The next challenge is how to get over it.
Quickly and effectively.

Here are some activities that help lessen the stress and invite sleep early, too.

Choose the one(s) that fit your schedule and time on hand, matching your energy levels as well, once you are at the fag end of your day.
Plan the rest of the evening accordingly, doing one or more of these activities.
1.  Switch off your mobile set as soon as you can.
2.  Spend quality time with your best friend and share the happenings, if you can, with him/her.
3.  Spend time with children.
4.  Listen to music that you love.
5.  Meditate for at least 30 minutes in solitude.
6.  Go for a work out.
7.  Play an outdoor team game.
8.  Do some creative activity like playing your favourite instrument, cook, paint, pursue a hobby, etc.
9.  Get a massage done.
10.  Go for a swim/take a cold/hot water bath just before turning in.
11.  Eat a light dinner either at home, or at your favourite restaurant with family/friend(s).
12.  Write a hand written letter to somebody you know/love.
13.  Help your spouse in the kitchen chores if you can.
14.  Help yourself to your favourite drink/chocolate in moderate quantities.
15.  Pray in solitude with your favourite incense sticks lit up and thank God with a sense of gratitude, for the good days that preceded this bad one.
16.  Hit the sack early.
17. Read a light book so as to invite sleep and avoid insomnia.
If you are able to accomplish some of these activities before you turn in, I am sure you would not only sleep sound, but also wake up with the lark, fresh and rejuvenated.

Naturally, we want to get as far away from anxiety as possible – which usually just results in us being anxious about being anxious. You resist and so it persists. But what if rather than pushing it away, we actually welcomed anxiety when it showed up? What if, rather than dreading the discomfort it brings, we looked at anxiety as a delivery service of inner truth and other such soul goodies? Because every time anxiety shows up, it’s our psyche’s way of saying, “Knock knock, I’ve got something to show you about yourself that you really should see.”

Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard explained anxiety is a natural condition. (How liberating!) He believed that anxiety is “a cognitive emotion that reveals truths that we would prefer to hide but that we need for our greater health.” And that it’s a valuable for shaping our ideal lives. Think of it this way, beneath the butterflies in your stomach, behind the clouds in your mind – is your greater truth,  and it’s trying to break through.

TURNING ANXIETY INTO POWER

STEP 1: Face reality. “I’m anxious.”

Simply notice your anxiety. Firstly, you need to be aware of your actual indicators of anxiety – they can be different for everyone. A lot of the times anxiety is trying to talk to us and we’re just not picking up on the physical or mental cues. For me, anxiety manifests in what I call, priority confusion. If I wander from room to room in the house, unsure if I should tidy, check my email, walk the dog, or write a novel, then I know something is up. I’m typically very laid back and laser-like decisive so if I can’t figure out what’s first on the to-do list, I know that anxiety has come callin’.
When you see the signs of it, all you need to do is simply state it. “I’m feeling anxious.” There. You said it. You probably feel better already. Getting real is always the best first step.

STEP 2: Inquiry. “So, why am I anxious?”

This is the step that requires real work. It’s the kind of inquiry that calls for both concentration and compassion – a tricky combo. Having an “inquiry image” might be helpful. I often see dilemmas as layers of soft, earthy sediment within myself, and each question is a drilling down through the silt. “So why am I anxious?” I ask myself. “Because I don’t want to be late.” Not quite, that doesn’t feel true. “So why am I anxious?” I repeat. “Because I’ve got so much to do.” Nope, that’s not it either, it’s not making sense to my heart. “So why am I anxious?” I drill down. “Because I’m afraid that when I show up I’ll be rejected.” Bingo.

When you get to the true reason for your anxiousness, and there may be more than one explanation, then there’s usually a softening that occurs when you come across it.

So you called it like you see it. That’s powerful. And you’ve identified the reason – even more powerful. Now you’re ready to rise above it.

STEP 3: Take responsibility.

This is where your real power comes in. This is the fun bit, where you get to be a creative grown up, the master of your own domain. Once you’ve discovered why you’re feeling anxious – whether it’s fear of failure, or a memory of past hurt or humiliation, then you need to counter the fear and negativity with courage and optimism. It’s that simple – and that challenging.

Whatever you want to call it, positive thinking, re-framing, self-encouragement, ra-ra-rah, this is where you need to step up to the plate, look at your fear head on and confront it with your truth. The truth being, that you manage to get through every day whether with grace or grit; that fear will not kill you; that your God, or your friends, or your grandma in heaven will have your back; that you have risen above before, and that you will rise above again; that, it’s only life after all.

Anxiety doesn’t come bearing the solution. It’s just there to direct your attention to the problem. It’s like a headache that signals to you that you’re hungry. The headache reminds you that your body needs nourishment, and then it’s up to you to feed yourself. Self-care is a divine responsibility. To befriend anxiety is to choose your deepest strength. It’s turning brain fuzz into brilliance, and the jitters into vital fuel to help you shine brighter than ever.

The receiver always connects and listens to you.
The two way transmission is always “strength 5″.
The receiver is never off the hook.
The receiver never drops the call.
You need to disconnect when you feel you are done.

You don’t need a service provider.
You don’t need to pay any rental.
The number is never, ever, engaged.

The number can be accessed individually as well as collectively.
The more the merrier.
The number is accessible from any part of the globe.
There is no conference facility, it’s a one to one connection.
There is no background noise, static, etc. that will disturb you, when you are connected.

The connection as well as the service come for free, for life, and is accessible 24*7.
When you dial you don’t here a ring.
You needn’t say “Hello” to connect.

You are never in a “Queue” and are always attended to.
Promptly.

The service provider listens/registers your thoughts and logs them as well.
You are not given any acknowledgment.
You are never forgotten.

While you dial and connect, all you need to ensure is that:
• You remain thankful.
• You transmit love.
• You seek help for your needs, and not your desires.
• You do so regularly, both in good times as well as bad times.
Those who do so…they reach out and stay connected to the almighty.
For perpetual bliss and happiness.

In the English language, He is called God.

G=7, 0=15, d=4.

–

Arun alias Axee is an ex-combat pilot turned executive life coach. He is actively involved with Brian Tracy in a novel learning initiative, iLearningGlobal.biz/axee. Contact him at emarshalarun@gmail.com.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father, who retired from Indian Government service, had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make his experience wonderful. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways.

The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a schoolboy, he was preparing himself on that day. We all went to the airport together, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great, but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.

When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.

As a child, how many dreams did our parents have that came true? Without understanding the financial situation, we, as children, asked for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way today, when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best: theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they must have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders.

Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say I’m sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does not mean that they have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

–

Venky is a delivery manager at MindTree Limited, having interests in team building, event management, employee engagement and training. An avid blogger too. “Riding the wave” best describes his approach towards life. Visit his website www.venkyb.com.

We all have sensitive moments, times when we take life to heart. Sometimes, when sensitivity dominates, we feel and sense our way through the day, aiming for the miraculous place just before feeling fully spills over into feeling too much.

Cue the circus music.

What do I do when this balancing act, for whatever reason, can’t be sustained and I spill into the net, landing with my arms folded across my chest and a scowl on my face, peeved, frustrated, or sad?

The best and most immediate restorer of balance I know is a jolt of joy, delivered in the form of a list of things that make me happy. I go to my room, close the door, pull out my bliss reminders list and start reading. The list is pages and pages long – long enough to suck me into its vortex. No matter what the circumstance, reading the list never fails to shift my mood toward the positive. I feel my body lighten, and my mood along with it. The bliss list has the power of a catapult, and I’m airborne again in no time.

The blue dress and matching coat I had as a kid. Maps. Musée Fesch in Ajaccio. Campfires. Practicing whistling in the tent during the sleet storm. Monkey puzzle trees. The look my nephew gave me. Pistachios. Illustrated journals.

Try it for yourself. Use a format you’re drawn to. Write the list into a blank book, for example, or keep the list on a computer and print it out. As you list joys, make them as personal as possible. Mine your past. Catalogue the joys of all your senses. Get specific. Keep adding to the list. Come back to it often for a lift.

–

Grace Kerina founded www.HighlySensitivePower.com to provide tools and encouragement to empower sensitivity, including the Healthy Boundaries Handbook and the Creativity Prompts Compendium. You can reach her at grace@highlysensitivepower.com.

To heck with it.

I’ve got a first-class ticket to the back of the line, and that’s where you’ll find me. I’ll be the one hanging out on that little porch at the back of the caboose, dangling my bare feet over the edge, propping my chin on the low railing, taking in the wide, glorious receding view.

Will you join me? Here, I’ve spread out a little picnic. Help yourself. We’ve got everything from carrot sticks and hummus to strawberry scones with butter. Take an embroidered cloth napkin and a chunky pottery plate. Lay down your burdens, pull up an all-cotton handmade cushion for your tush, sit here next to me, and let’s relax.

Now that we’re so far off the radar no one’s even looking for us, what do we do? Frankly, nothing much for a few hours. We watch the sky and the mesmerizing pattern of the railroad ties as they unfurl from beneath the back of the train. We take in the beauty and the fresh air (it’s a very long train), and the light at play across the land. We take turns sighing with relief.

Then we look at each other and giggle. Suddenly, everything’s funny. When we’ve laughed so much our bellies ache, we stop and watch the horizon recede. After a while longer, we talk. Our conversation winds, but we follow. We talk without a goal, except to discover each other and ourselves. We talk with our mouths and our eyes and our silences.

Then the train rises up a hill and trees meet overhead, making a tunnel that takes our breath away and makes speaking superfluous.
Hanging out at the back of the caboose is about navigating by the compass inside rather than the push for speed. It’s about getting happy, being whole, discovering the best me I can be, living my own dreams, connecting deeply.
The last edge of the sun slips away as the train banks around a long curve. In the fading light I reach for your hand.
–

Grace Kerina founded www.HighlySensitivePower.com to provide tools and encouragement to empower sensitivity, including the Healthy Boundaries Handbook and the Creativity Prompts Compendium. You can reach her at grace@highlysensitivepower.com.

How did I get an Inner Critic?

When you were born you were in awe and amazement about everything in your environment.  You wanted to be nurtured and cared for.  You were fun loving and happy. Everything you saw, including your parents, was there for your enjoyment and survival.  Every thought and action was based on intuition and inspiration. And you began to explore your new world.

In doing so, you saw, heard and felt your experiences.  Some experiences were wonderful, some not so great.  As you learned how to navigate your environment you started to create a little “Rule Book” to help you avoid the not so great experiences.  This book of rules became your Inner Critic – constantly reminding you what you can and cannot do to stay safe and away from unwanted experiences.

The problem is, as a young little child, you were not able to distinguish between truth and belief.  You processed your experiences literally. You misinterpreted much of what you think you saw and heard. A parental statement such as “Bad boy” about breaking a toy, for example, became “I’m a bad person” to you.  And you wrote in your Rule Book “I’m a bad person. I don’t deserve.” A teacher correcting a mistake of yours became “I’m not smart enough”. A classmate in the schoolyard who makes fun of you becomes “People will always laugh at me”.  Your Dad coming home from a stressful day at work says “My rich boss just steps on the little people” becomes “Rich people just step on little people”. You probably had other unavoidable scars from childhood. This is where the inner critical voice gets started.

You still live your life by this voice, these rules!  In any area of your life that you aren’t being, doing and having what you want know that your Inner Critic is leading your choices by following the ‘rules’.

If you have a rule that “Rich people just step on little people” your Inner Critic will not allow you to become rich because, deep inside, you do not want to step on little people. You won’t even realize that the choices you make will be toward making sure that you don’t become rich.  You will unconsciously self-sabotage to prevent the accomplishment of the success and abundance you yearn for.  If you have a rule that says “I’m not smart enough” you will hold yourself back from achieving, or even wanting, bigger career goals.

The Inner Critic loves to be right.  It is constantly looking for evidence to justify the rules – constantly seeking examples of ‘rich people stepping on little people’ and ‘mistakes you made to prove you’re not smart enough’. The Inner Critic will ignore any evidence to the contrary – won’t even see it.  And when it can’t find any evidence that supports the rule it will create some drama in your life that will become the evidence it seeks.

“We are what we think about all day long.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

How do I get rid of my Inner Critic?

Your Inner Critic is part of you. His job is to keep you safe and happy.  He means well although he is woefully misguided.  The Inner Critic thinks that what will keep you safe and happy is to keep you right where you are – in your current comfort zone.  You may not like where you are right now but it’s what you know.  Your Inner Critic works hard to keep you right there.  “Oh, no” your Inner Critic says, “We’re not going to grow and stretch or move forward.  To scary!”  And he holds you back.  And you don’t feel good.  If you’re not feeling good that’s a clear sign that your Inner Critic is in charge. When your inner voice becomes and stays critical, it drags you down. You will not be able to hold enough love or esteem for yourself to fulfill your potential.

What you want to do is take away the power your Inner Critic holds over you.  Let him know that he’s no longer in charge.  Just tell him “You’re not the boss of me!”

Before you can disarm him, though, you have to get be able to recognize his presence. He hides in your subconscious and often you’re not even aware that he’s there diligently working in the background. The good news is you can get really good at hearing and recognizing his voice.  When you hear that self-talk that often starts with “Who am I kidding I can’t…”, or “I’m not – fill in the blank – enough to be, do or have that” know that this is just your Inner Critic at work. When you are envious or jealous that is another message from your Inner Critic reminding you that your aren’t good enough to get what you want.  Being able to notice when your Inner Critic chimes in is a big step in taking away his power. You can’t afford to allow him to direct your life. It’s costing you too much.

To strip away the Inner Critic’s power, deliberately look for evidence that violates the rule.  As in the above examples, look for rich people who help those who are less fortunate.  There are plenty of them. Acknowledge the moments in your life when you were smart enough or good enough.  There are plenty of them.  You have lots of moments like these every day.  Until now, your Inner Critic has blinded you to them.  Heck, you had to do a lot of things good and right just to get into a position where you could read this article today.

————————

Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic (self-doubt and fear), empower your Inner Wizard (intuition and inspiration) to turn your dreams into reality. Your Inner Wizard is your best Coach, Guru and Teacher. Everything you need to be, do and have what you want in life is already within you. Tap into this life changing power today! Get free eBook at http://www.InnerWizard.com

It is not wrong to celebrate success, but if you are still partying a week after you land the big order, what has happened meanwhile?

If you respond to a fantastic result with hysterical glee, will you plunge into the depths of despair when you lose a sale?

To win in the long term your emotional keel must be steady and without the yawing highs and lows. You may find the key to this skill rather surprising.

Do you know someone who sulks? Some people can sulk for years. At first this may not seem particularly valuable, however, consider this – the prolonged sulker has developed a strategy of sustaining one emotional state for a very long time.

What if they could do this with a different emotion? Well they can if they mimic how they manage to sulk for so long and transfer the skill to something more productive, such as confidence or motivation.

The secret strategies behind every behaviour are a party compendium pack of the following components

*visual by creating and seeing pictures in your imagination
*auditory
*feelings
*listening to self talk
*smells and tastes

To elicit your strategy for a particular behaviour, such as buying, sleeping, or insomnia, just run through your process and plot through each step.

Imagine Steve who has an excellent sulking strategy which goes like this�

Three years ago Steve�s brother Bob went to a works party instead of Steve�s birthday bash. Each morning since then Steve…

*has made a picture in his head of Bob enjoying himself at the works party

*says to himself �How could Bob do that to me, he obviously prefers his work mates to his own brother.�

*then gets a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach and his throat gets tight as all the familiar feelings flood back

Steve runs this strategy every morning and can keep the sulk going all day, regardless of anything else which could brighten his mood.

But Steve could also use this strategy to conjure up a winning state of mind as a salesman by:

*making a picture of himself sat in his office as a signed contract for a 100 fleet cars slides across the desk towards him

*saying to himself – �WOW I NAILED it, I�m brilliant at sales. What a FANTASTIC deal!”

*feeling the exciting rush of adrenalin as all the familiar feelings flood back

If he ran this strategy every morning, Steve could spend his days electrified with anticipation as he chalks up the triumphs.

What would it mean to you to spend every day like Steve?

————————

Sian Murphy is a copywriter with the internationally acclaimed copywriter and marketer Alan Forrest Smith and his Orangebeetle team. She also runs sianmurphycopywriter.com and loves to know what you think about the articles.  To comment, suggest new topics and discover Top Ten Copywriting Style Pitfalls You Can Avoid then visit

http://www.sianmurphycopywriter.com/10-style-pitfalls-to-avoid-in-your-sales-copy

Are we being true to ourselves and the universe which is organizing our lives around us? There is so much expectation from the universe but to receive we have to be in the club of givers without premeditated calculations of why & what.

When we give our youth, time and energy to family, relationships, work we do so with an intent which is very self-oriented at the core. No conditionals!

The joining of the club of givers requires, spontaneity, the opposite of the tendency to hoard, live with less and as far as possible with the minimum one can. At the same time sharing of goods, effort and time because somebody is genuinely in more need than you and could obviously put whatever you are parting with to better use. Finally the belief that the universe is there and will give what you need anyway.

Did you choose your name, parents, brothers, sisters, friends, teachers or even the place & date of birth? You accepted all these without preamble so what is bothering you now?

The best givers are intensely alive and very involved in life. When you drop the critical, calculating and the judgmental attitude, there is an aura of compassion which builds up around you. Then you can only give. I know many millionaires and I have been blessed by the help they gave me in cash, kind and personal time.
As an exercise study your life and see how many things are lying around you that are never used and list them out. Second step if you feel there are others who can use them and NEED them, would you be ready to pass them on?

This is living in the present. Things come and go. We are only caretakers or users for a while. Like a coin which changes hands hundreds and thousands of time in its life time. Yet the humans have been able to delude themselves into believing that things belong to them. These people close their doors so effectively that nothing goes out from them nor anything comes into them. What a waste of a lifetime – it is so sad; these people are doomed to repeat their lifecycles over and over.

So how does one open out to the universe; How to be a witness? How to grow out of the petty self? It is simple really. See the world with benevolent eyes. Don’t judge – observe as a third party, witness. And above all: don’t try to change the world. Identify yourself with beautiful things and surround yourself with them.

Learn about all the things that are negative in character, like noise, obnoxious materials, obnoxious emotions etc – anything that leaves a bad after-taste, shocks or frightens or as the environmentalists would say – polluting. Try to distance yourself from these. And then join the club of givers.

You’ll see things will start falling in place.

–

PK is a teacher of languages/communication, counsellor and a businessman active in 6 countries. He combines his knowledge of life with his education in management, applied psychology and occult psychology from his time in The Ashram in Pondicherry and assists aspiring managers to reach their next level. Please visit http://sites.google.com/site/pkcentreforchange/Home

Think about this. This employer, whenever they decided to offer you the current position, clearly did that on the basis of your personal and professional credentials. In most cases, it could be even probable that you were offered the coveted position only a few months back. And when the employer did so, it was clearly on the basis of merit and merit alone. So, the pink slip was an occurrence owing to the global happenings that have had a cascading effect that has had a bearing on your organization too.

And whole bunches of your own colleagues and peers, and those in the professional fraternity have been affected. All of them are competent and capable in some way or the other. So are YOU. You were a clear choice for a said role and responsibility. You have been doing a good or even a fabulous job. You have contributed so much to the top-line and bottom-line, directly or indirectly. In the rush to manage changes in such times, most organizations seldom even communicate in this way… guess you need to take it in your stride and move on.

So, even remotely connecting the event – pink slip – to your capabilities will be doing gross injustice to you as a person. Never ever do that. (Just in case you are reading this as a fortunate not-pink-lipped, now you know what is to be told to your mind and heart.)

When you have not been responsible for the event, you only have to ACT now on what can be done to make things better. And steering clear of any negative thoughts and self pity gives you so much of positive energy and mind space to focus on what needs to be done now.

The future holds so much more than the present. You have all the knowledge and power to do whatever you choose personally and professionally. And for that just make sure that there are no energy leaks – from your mind and body.

You are even more capable now, with more time to do and plan your future. Choose that mindset and it will do all the good to you.

Look only for the positive. Shun the bad vibes, and all the negativity.

Thanks to the nature of our lives and work today, most of us are hooked to the internet, 24/7. This makes us sort of vulnerable to the news. The news spreads fasts. And bad news spreads even faster. And thanks to the fierce competition for viewer eyeballs and readership, television and the print media have a liking to cover news about jobs lost and pink slips.

If you are connected now, just Google for the words pink slip or job loss, and there you get all gloom and negativity right at your table; but what I suggest is precisely the opposite – resist the temptation to hunt for the bad news.

What the media does is to spread a sense of gloom all over. You can’t help much, as they are doing their job. But here is what you can do.

Don’t pay attention to any information that will feed to your sense of uncertainty.  You are capable, and all the more sure of what you want -  a great opportunity, a better way of living, all the positive energy possible, and a great mental make up to keep you happy when things seemingly are not at their best.

So, make it a point to read only information about growth plans, good things that are happening, which industries will do well, what areas you can re-skill yourself in, where inspirational, good speeches and well-being seminars are happening etc. That will make you feel good. And in turn you will be an ambassador of good news.

The unfortunate thing that happens in such times is that wherever you are – your desk at the office, cafeteria, or in the public transport – a vast majority of the discussions are only around what is going wrong. Seldom do most of us realize that all this talk of recession and slowdown spreads negativity all over. It is just not possible for you to focus on the good things of life, when what all you hear and see is not so good.

And that is the precise reason you need to discipline yourself only to be inclined to hear and see good news. Spread cheer. Talk more with your spouse and kids. Play with them. Teach you kid and ask him what happened at school today. See if your spouse needs any support at her work or in home-making. Abhor watching television – by doing that, in all probability you are catching what you avoid outside right at your drawing room!

You could connect more with your hobbies for which you seldom had time. Read books you like. Write to your friends and well-wishers, and those in your professional network. Attempt to connect with old friends and relatives. Connect with an NGO where you can be of some help.

Go ahead and do something that will make you feel good or make you a better person. As most personality gurus would say, like attracts like. Good attracts good. So, make it a point that you will attract only the good. Or one step ahead, ONLY THE BEST.

–

Muralidharan is an HR practitioner and a recruitment professional. A strong believer in spreading cheer and positivity, Murali currently works out of Chennai and is a voracious reader and a prolific writer.

The professor – whom I called Sir – was a lively person and so was I, full of life and vigour. We had a wonderful time together. I never remembered we had any heavy discussion on any ‘heavy’ topic. Anything philosophically significant if I remember was always in the form of a one-line question, formed carefully by me and a one-line answer, given spontaneously by him. He was always surprised by the depth of my question and I was always overwhelmed by the exactness of his answers, hitting the bull’s eye. Many times I and my Sir used to take lunch together and read ‘Mayalok’ or listen to ghazals or some classical music before he retired for his afternoon nap. Sometimes I used to go in evenings instead of morning and have a cup of tea with him. I used to fetch sweets prepared by my mother and he used to return a call of thank to my mother. Many times I used to bring dal makhni and malai kofta from a nearby restaurant for him or paan (betel leaf) as he used to love it. Sometimes I used to drive him to some park for evening walk. He would happily settle down on the back seat of my scooter. Some times, when we could not meet for many days, I used to sneak into his house (his door was always open when he was awake) and cover his eyes from behind and let him guess who was it and he used to express his joy with his warm welcoming hug. But why am I sharing these memories with you?

Because, for me, there is something special about his memories.

I met many professors, teachers, relatives, friends, persons in my life and many of them impressed me, taught me something or the other. But even today, when it is more than a year since he passed away, whenever I see his lively photo or ‘feel’ his presence I get wet eyes. One might say I am very emotional but I feel there is something more about his thoughts than an emotional attachment. Emotions are very unreliable facts and fluctuating realities though there might be a depth in the experience itself. But, in my relationship with Sir, there is a ‘life’ which touches me somewhere deep within.

We all have memories of many kinds but there is something radically different in some memories. The scope is as vast as universe. It might be a touch of new raindrops, or sight of a beautiful flower or anything from nature. It might be beholding a tiny existence on earth or watching stars or infinite space with a powerful telescope. It might be some impressive lines of a famous poem or an innocent remark of a child. It might be any experience with a long, deep relation or a few minutes meeting with a stranger. There is something special and magical about some moments in life. We never forget them, not because we memorized them strongly but they never fade away because they touched us so deep that they become part of our existence. Whenever we reflect on our ‘self’ we can feel the spark and spur from them.

Our life is of a given span. We live this time span full of progress and digress, success and failure, career and relations, earnings and spendings, outings and home stays, learnings and teachings, thirst and quench, agony and ecstasy, reading writers and thinkers, jokes and tragedies, reflecting and deflecting, etc but among all these activities there are the moments when you are touched by life. It might be anywhere and everywhere.

The BIG questions ‘What is life?’, ‘What is it all about?’, ‘Who are you?’, ‘Why are you?’, ‘What are you’, etc and all that is related to life can never be answered in any words. They are only ‘experienced’ by a person ‘living’ and, to comprehend them, you need to reflect on the moments which you lived ‘whole-heartedly’ because clues for the questions of life lie in the moments when you were ‘touched’ by life.

–
Rachana Sharma has Doctorate in Philosophy and Masters in Philosophy and Sanskrit. She has published articles in various philosophical journals such as Paramarsh (Pune University), Journal of Philosophical Research (New Delhi), and The Philosopher’s Index (Ohio University, USA).

Choose happiness!

Make a choice each day; choose to be happy with what comes and what has gone. There are plenty of things to rejoice about.

Do not forget the little things: Your smiling colleague. The little girl who babbles with her mother. The wind flying through your hair, making you feel like you are living. Every little thing like this is happiness smiling your way.

We want to see all of the big happy things, but remember to see all these little things; the ones we barely notice in our everyday lives.

Look around you and see the world as if you’ve never seen it before. Put the “happy goggles” on. Look at the people around you, look at the nature, look at the wildlife, look at the surroundings, see how wonderful it all is.

Can you do it?
Try!

Are you feeling stupid?
Try again!

Did you find something?
Do you smile a little bit now?

You are on the right track!

The first step is not the most difficult step, it is simply the first.

Now think of three things that made you smile or left you feeling happy today.

Write them down.
Now look at them again and recall the emotion you gained from each thing.

Now remember the three things that made you happy yesterday.

Write them down.
Look at them again and recall the emotions individually.

Then think about three things that you felt happy about during the last week.

Write them down.
Look at them again and recall the emotions you felt from them individually.

Can you see the pattern? )

It works – try it and you will see. If you do this exercise over and over again for a couple of days, you will not be satisfied with just three things. You recall even more.

When you begin, it may be difficult to find three things, but suddenly it dawns on you, that the positive experiences are queuing up on you.

You attract them and you choose to see them. Indeed, they are present all of the time, but you must choose to see them )

Why are we doing this?

The principle is that your happiness is a choice, and you can turn it on, even off, whenever you please, but you might need to practise at first. The amazing thing is that the more you choose to turn on your happiness-switch, the easier it gets.

Now, you might be left thinking: “All the terrible things happen to me, all the time!”

I know – I’ve been there!! But yet again, it is about how you handle it.

People get sick and other traumatic things happen, but you can choose how you want to move forward.

Take life in your own hands and do not let others choose your path. There will always be situations that you can not change. However, you can change how you see them, and you can change what you learn from them.

I know it might seem difficult, but believe in yourself – it can be done!

Find a bright spot, hold on to it, and don’t let it slip away from you. Find the next bright spot, see the small pleasures and make sure to really feel it in your heart. Feel it in your soul.

Laugh all that you can, see all the funny movies you love, or the ones you haven’t seen yet, and laugh. Put your pain behind you and choose life and happiness.

I have been going down this path, and I truly believe that you can do the same!

Let us choose happiness!

It is essential to whole living that you get to the source of your pain and screwed up choices. What happened in your childhood or another life informs patterns in your current reality. But sooner or later, you’ve simply got to get over using yesterday to explain today’s behavior.

Decide to just get over it. Let it be that simple.

For most of us who had normally dysfunctional upbringings (I’m not talking about suffering exceptional atrocities or repetitive abuses) our past is no excuse to continue being a flake, a tyrant, obnoxiously needy, or a rage-babe. Look, we’re all terrific for going to therapy, for having past life insights, and reading Wayne Dyer. Yeah for the New Age. Really. But knowing why you’re so screwed up is only half the journey.

“My father never told me I’m pretty, so now I’m fat.”
“I was a pilgrim burned at the stake in my past life so now I’m afraid to voice my opinions.”
“My mother was overly emotional so I suppress my feelings for fear of being like her.”

Choose to let it be done.

I once dated a guy who thought he was Jack Evolved because he’d done enough time in therapy to know that his parents’ affair-riddled marriage rendered him commitment-phobic. “Babe,” he’d start to explain, “I’m just repeating my father’s behavior, it’s like, deep stuff.” Uh-huh. Like I care why you’re a two timing narcissist. Maybe a few more hours of therapy would have unearthed the courage in him to be a good boyfriend. I’ll take faithful over self-helped any day.

Therapy, yes. Strategy, yes.

It is immensely, undeniably valuable to excavate the origin of your fear and your pain. It’s down right essential. But when you start using that awareness as an excuse to stay stuck, you become the worst kind of victim. This is one of the potential problems with talk therapy. The rehashing of who-done-you-wrong and how it screwed you up could be better spent on making a plan to take full responsibility for creating a future that does right by your tremendous potential. I think after some incredible therapy, most people could do with a kick-butt life coach that helps them strategize and be accountable to their dreams.

An acquaintance and I were talking about her relationship with her step dad. It was no secret that they’d had a rough ride and there had been plenty said and done to make them both bitter. She was now working for him. I saw them laughing together, being affectionate, respectful.

“So…what changed?” I asked her. “You two were barely speaking at one point.”
“We just decided to get over it,” she shrugged. “You know, just let it go. So we did.”

Maybe enlightenment is a decision that has little to do with the past.