The Weapon Called Ridicule
Lately I have suddenly woken up to a very displeasing habit in many of us. I was observing it for long but saw the severity of it only now and realized that we are infected by this virus more than would have been thought polite; yet nobody seems to mind and everybody seems to be indulging in it to some extent, some, of course, more than others. I was pondering over it when I came across this quote from Mark Twain:
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
The operative word here is BELITTLE and SMALL PEOPLE. Following my trend of thought, I went to the next question – why do we feel the need to belittle anyone at all? This style of belittling others is a quaint little habit. You will notice it is a regular habit in some people. Their persona is wrapped around it. It is impossible to make a statement or ask these people anything and it becomes an opening for them to show their wit rather than answer the question in a down-to-earth way or give a plain unadorned answer. Every time they open their mouth some pearls of wisdom slip out which to me seem to be just witty sarcasm couched in the pronouncements of the-wiser-than thou.
The answer always carries 4 elements: 1) The actual answer, 2) the hidden emphasis on the stupidity of the question or statement, 3) the indication that the one making the answer/comment is from a higher realm of existence and 4) the invisible creation of a wall that you are never allowed to pierce. The beauty of the whole is that sometimes the comments and remarks come from total strangers who are not even privy to the exchange. In familiar gatherings, interrupting the conversations of others with witticisms of one own is often seen, but from strangers…? I find this a bit too much; especially when you are in public environment like the post office or a railway compartment. These people, who sometimes even go on to monopolize the conversation until they are forced to stop.
I have known some people for half my life time or more. They are part of the family or professional circle and cannot be totally ignored. Once in a while there is no avoiding them in a social way. Yet in all these years I have been unable to have a focused conversation of five lines with them. They never reply to the question directly. Even an innocuous question like “How is your health?” got me an answer like “Why, what is wrong with my health?” And this is the milder side of the coin. Quite often in the guise of a joke, they come down to downright ridicule; Ha, Ha, Ha. Why? What are they trying to prove? Or are they protecting themselves from exposure knowing fully well their own lack of depth and understanding? They make it clear that we can be part of their entourage but never their equal.
All these write-ups that I pen, I wanted to put them into a collection and get them published in a book form for whatever they are worth. So I, requested a close friend of many years in the publishing line to see if he could find me an appropriate publisher. For two years I was given the royal lip service. Then one day I asked him point-blank if he would help or not. His answer came as advice that I should at least first read some other established writers and acquaint myself of how things should be written. Thereby clearly telling me what he thought of me. So I asked him if he had at least read any of my write-ups. The answer was NO. Well, I could not resist telling him off after that. He has been sulking all along since. So be it.
To me all this sounds very much like the childish behaviour of the immature snob who is inherently intelligent and successful in his field. It gets awfully bad when by some quirk of fate they have come into money. One has to then admit that in one’s own interest, not to spoil relations one allows them to get away with it. But the question is – what relations? They will never allow you to come that close anyway?
I for one have now decided enough is enough. I tick them off and enjoy seeing them sulk. If they can do without me so can I without them. Life is too short to worry of the consequences of falling into their bad books.
PK is a teacher of languages/communication, counsellor and a businessman active in 6 countries. He combines his knowledge of life with his education in management, applied psychology and occult psychology from his time in The Ashram in Pondicherry and assists aspiring managers to reach their next level. Please visit http://sites.google.com/site/pkcentreforchange/Home
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Nice one!! Thanks. Personally, i have been working in IT training centres and ITES( learning BPO)- bothe the industries encompassing predominantly of Arts & Science graduates. I’m basically shy and reserved and more of an introvert and tend to open up to only few people right from my schooldays.
But because i have an Engineering background, my reserved nature is mostly misconstrued as aloofness and the existence of a superiority complex which is not there. I tend to admire good work by others like anyone else.
Here, where do you think the problem lies? B’cos an entire day at work cannot be spent explaining what you are actually thinking. Do you have a solution or any thoughts on this??
Cheers,
Anitha
What an insightful write-up, to use your term, sir. I want you to know that you have fans you don’t even know about, around the world, who look forward to your write-ups and the messages they contain. They often start my day with a thought on which to move forward in my actions. I hope your friend, the publisher, knows that good writing comes from good thinking, first, and that his deeply thoughtful friend is making a difference with his write-ups. I think your friend is jealous, and perhaps his jealous is from setting limitations on his own ambitions. Good luck to you, and keep writing!