Mita Bhan | May 29, 2009
Sometimes we make promises to ourselves about habits we know we need to change. With determination and firmness we say, “I will never be impatient again” and for a day or two we stick to our resolve. Some of us use the additional tools of reiki, affirmations or visualization to help us in our quest and some of us go purely by sheer will.
What usually happens is a few days after trying, we actually feel liberated from the confines of the old habit. But just before the smile turns to smugness, a little test is tossed on our path to see if we have truly learnt.
For me, these cosmic-generated tests are regular occurrences. Sometimes I pass them and sometimes I fail miserably.
I have learnt that simply because I make a fervent promise never to be impatient again does not mean my words have the power to dissolve the impulse to lose my temper. Tests will appear before me in the form of a chatty cashier and her mobile phone in the supermarket, oblivious to the long queue or my toddler who is mastering the fine art of selective listening or others who will slowly tweak my resolve till I am tempted to say or do something out of impatience.
These tests do not appear as some form of cosmic mockery but are a self-generated indicator that more inner work needs to be done for our rewards as souls in human forms. We have chosen the human form to learn lessons and certain experiences will be repeated until we learn at the deepest level of our consciousness.
Some lessons are rooted in karmic patterns inherited from previous lives. Some lessons are meant to extinguish ordinary personality traits like impatience or procrastination, but at the end of the day a lesson is a lesson. And even after making a resolve, we need to face a few challenging tests to see if we are willing to sweat for the reward. If you give up soon after promising to change, the tests will keep coming back. Persist and someday, someone may present you with a badge in the shape of a star.
Do you have any habit you’re struggling to break? Why not take a few minutes to ponder on what is causing you to break your resolve? Did you quit the diet? Did you return to smoking when the pressure got too much? Or gave up cleaning out your papers halfway through the exercise? I suggest taking things slowly and setting goals that are achievable. Try saying, “For the next one hour I will be patient,” and when you catch yourself getting impatient again, repeat the affirmation. Do this for several days until you begin to see some positive results.
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