4 ways to live happily and meaningfully in the new year!
by Vishwanath Seshadri Filed under Are you ready for the new year?, Effectiveness, Life Skills, Motivation, Personal Growth
Be responsive !!
What is the sign of life? If someone is alive, a clear sign is that of the person responding to stimulus. If spoken to, a reply; if smiled at, a smile returned; if hurt, a cry, etc. If a person does not respond, he/she may as well be dead.
But a response is not just about reacting. It is also about reacting with some thought around it. Reaction is negative. Reaction is impulsive. Reaction is instantaneous. For example, if someone insults us, a normal person would react with another insult or a feeling of hurt. Responsiveness is to go beyond the normal pattern. It could be, in this example, to introspect and understand the reasons for the provocation and form a positive response to address it.
The two extreme positions to avoid are complete lack of response and an instant reaction without thinking. The middle path as recommended will bring you a better understanding of the world around and better relationships with all.
Forget and forgive!!
Life is short. With an average age of around 70 years of which a good 25 years spent in sleep and resting, we have hardly 40-45 years of waking time. If one takes off the time spent in childhood pranks and old age sickness, one hardly has 20-25 years of productive time. This is just too short to be wasted on undesirable pursuits and practices.
When we feel hurt and remember the hurt, we are only re-living the experience over and over again. And when we hope, pray or plan to hurt others or take revenge, we are going through the same pain again. Anger is like carrying a burning coal in your hand with the intent of throwing it at others. You are only hurting yourself.
Instead, if you can ignore, forgive and forget, you are instantly relieved of the burden and find instant peace. It gives you more time for productive pursuits, ideating or creating things that bring joy to yourself and others around you. It creates a positive image about you and makes you irresistible to others.
Think of children and this is what distinguishes them from adults. They have no ego and forgive easily. This is what makes them so lovable and endearing to us. So do yourself a big favour – start forgiving and forgetting from this moment onwards. The past hurts will fall off immediately and you will reap the benefits form this instant onwards. Enjoy Life!!
Spread positive energy !!
There are times in life when, whether we want it or not, we do feel low and depressed. It could be due to some expectation or desire not being fulfilled or some other disappointment. At such times, we need some help in getting over our misery and we need someone to cheer us up. And when such an event happens, we feel great and relieved.
If we can tune ourselves to get this sort of positive energy from within, how wonderful life could be! We could rid ourselves of our pain points in no time. If we choose to be positive and look at everything with this outlook, not only do we help ourselves but we also ensure that our misery does not get transferred to people around.
By being positive, we can also help people who interact with us when they have similar moments. And thus we can create a great environment around us. People will value our company and seek us out. We will have more friends and eventually benefit in more ways than one!
What is the secret of being positive? Well, in my opinion and experience, positive attitude comes from the realisation that worrying and fretting and fuming and being anxious do not help in any way. Rather, such emotions have a negative and adverse effect. Being positive helps us look at the brighter side of things, become more energetic and enthusiastic and come up with solutions to every situation.
So, what do you think? Be positive and see it for yourself!!
Treat everyone equally!!
The world comprises of so many different people and characters. I have always found it useful to watch with the curiosity of a child and observe the differences in people without attaching a value to them. Some people are frank, some bold, some stupid, some secretive, some faithful, some suspicious etc.
Initially, I used to get attracted to people with positive and desirable attributes and used to detest the rest. However, time and grey hair have taught me that it takes all kinds to make up the world. In fact, the world would be a very boring place if everyone was alike or if everyone was nice. As they say, all five fingers of the hand are different but together they can do so many useful things, I have come to believe that diversity is not only good but also necessary. It is but natural that I tend to appreciate differences and prefer to encourage them.
Also, at the core everyone is the same. Each one has similar set of physical endowments, similar desires and similar dreams. Each one is striving for the same thing and it is better to recognize this and appreciate everyone.
Treating people equally and well also has its advantages – people respond positively to you and the amount of reciprocal behaviour is well worth the effort (if any). So, if you have a cranky neighbor, a nasty acquaintance or a naughty child, go ahead and smile at them and let them know that you accept them as they are. And see the difference!
Vish is a chartered and cost accountant who works with a leading bank in Mumbai, India, looking after their risk management. His interests are reading, travelling, spirituality, thinking and physical fitness (not necessarily in that order). Contact vish.sesh@gmail.com.
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